The grands and I are sad right now. Went to COSCO for the first time in almost a year.

[joetheman]

Not shopping for food but for a couple pairs of PJs. I decided to treat the grands to some COSCO pastries which are always good. As we were mulling over the special muffins on sale and elderly gentleman came up to us and asked how much sugar was in the muffins. The three of us answered that we didn't know, tried to read the label but could find no measurements for the sugar. I finally replied that sugar was the first ingredient listed so he could be sure it was a lot.

Then he said, "You know I really would like to have one but it probably isn't good for me. But I'm 85 so what difference does it make? My wife is not here. She is in heaven but if she were here she would tell me if i could have it or not. I hardly know what to do without her. She was a good wife. I'm all alone now. We never had any children." At this point tears were forming in our eyes . In an effort to try to stop them I quickly said, "I bet she would want you to treat yourself?" He: "Yes, but there are too many and they are too big."
Me: "You can always cut one in small pieces and freeze the rest,"
He: "I dunno. I don't have long to live anyway without her. Sometimes I wish I could die, but then, I just don't die."
Me "Well, suppose I buy a pack and give you just one muffin?"
He: "That's so nice of you but I better not. Thanks.
Me and the grands thru tears as he walked away: "Ok, take care of yourself." "Nice to have met you."

Granddaughter 1 as we walked to our car: "You know, I feel so bad. i should have given him my phone number and told him to call us if he needed someone to talk to. Granddaughter 2: "Let's go back and see if he is still there. We can help him with his groceries and give him one of the muffins."

Me: the place is too crowded. I doubt that we could find him now.

We drove home in sad silence, one granddaughter quietly tearing and sniffing.

I can't get the old man out of my mind. He brought back all the memories of losing my spouse back in April of 2020.
I need to stay out of COSTCO.

On eidt: Yes, we all were masked, including the elder man.

[Faux pas]

1. ...

[Botany]

2. This just means you are human and a good person

n/t

[Butterflylady]

5. Yep......

That's exactly why we are democrats. We have compassion for other human beings.

[MustLoveBeagles]

3. Hugs to you

[badhair77]

4. Just know that your kindness will stay with him today.

[smirkymonkey]

6. That was so nice of you to be kind to him.

His story would have broken my heart. Knowing myself, I would have reacted the exact same way.

Poor old man, my heart breaks for people like that. Just know that you did enough by offering him some love and kindness today and that your family is raising kind, compassionate grandchilren who will go out into the world and contribute to making it a better place.

[a kennedy]

20. and the granddaughters........so wonderful to hear empathy in their voices.

[yonder]

7. Sometimes folks are creatures of habit.

Maybe you could go back there on the same day and time and see him again?

[joetheman]

11. Nice. Granddaughter 2 said that as soon as we opened our muffins. nt

[dawg day]

8. He probably had great pleasure talking to you and your lovely grandchildren-

That might be all he needed to feel like there is still joy in life.

To quote the late great John Prine:

You know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder every day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello"

So if you're walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes
Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
As if you didn't care, say, "Hello in there, hello"

[birdographer]

9. Very sad

That is a sad story. An awful lot of spouses like that don't last long after losing their loved ones. They really do just lie down and die of loneliness and a broken heart. You did fine.

[joetheman]

10. The saddest part was having to leave feeling helpless. nt

[DemUnleashed]

12. Very sad!

Very sad for him

Your grandkids are amazing human beings!!

[LakeArenal]

13. All the lonely people where do they all come from

All the lonely people where do they all belong. 🎶

One of the truest Beatle lyrics.

[3catwoman3]

14. I am sobbing in my kitchen, reading your account of this.

I like the above suggestion of returning at the same time, in hoped of encountering him again.

[llmart]

15. Just last night I watched a movie.

I had never heard of it but I saw it at my library and checked it out. It's titled "The Cuban" about an elderly man in a nursing home who used to be a famous Cuban musician. No one cared about him but a young Afghani girl who worked there and she was instrumental in bringing some sunshine into his last days when all the home wanted to do was keep him drugged.

Yes, it was sad but also inspiring.

We do not treat our elderly very well in this country and it is only getting worse. Too many selfish people who whined about having to wear a mask to protect the elderly and compromised.

[TNNurse]

16. Your grandchildren are good people.

[appalachiablue]

17. Now you 'done it, I'm tearing up too. You

were very kind to talk to him and share with him your good will.

"There, but for the grace of God go I."

An orphan, like too many others the gentleman needs a visitor, a phone buddy, a 'family' or community even if it's occasional or on the small side.

To help people like this there should be some connection and service, what's wrong with this country? I know in the 80s and 90s senior centers and services to reach folks like him were fairly active, at least where I was living.

I gave many outreach programs through a health agency and also the Smithsonian for elder centers and locations all over a metro area. The seniors really enjoyed the programs and interaction and so did we the outreach staff. But then Reaganism, social services cut backs and more.

Germany has a program where seniors are regularly contacted and visited by good people. I read about it a couple years ago and it was heartening to see.

[malaise]

18. What a lovely post

[nuxvomica]

19. It used to be quite common to see this sort of thing

I often stood in cashier lines behind an elderly person who was basically "visiting" with the cashier for what seemed an eternity. I always found these delays more poignant than annoying, as I would think that customer probably doesn't interact with a lot of people in a usual day. Then my first few forays to something other than a grocery store during the pandemic and I was talking the cashier's ear off.

[Maraya1969]

21. A happier thought is he seems to have had a very good relationship with a woman

he loved for many years. How many of us can say that? Certainly not me.

Here's a hug for you for being a kind and friendly person. and maybe you'll see him again.