G.O.P. to Punish Cheney and Kinzinger by Forcing Them to Spend Hour with Ted Cruz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Furious at Representative Liz Cheney and Representative Adam Kinzinger for participating in the January 6th commission, the G.O.P. leadership in the House is punishing the two rogue Republicans by forcing them to spend an hour with Ted Cruz.
Speaking to reporters, the House Minority Leader, Kevin McCarthy, said that the decision to subject the two dissidents to an hour with Cruz “should leave no doubt about how seriously we take their offense.” “Make no mistake,” he said, “an hour with Ted Cruz is the ultimate punishment.”
According to McCarthy, Cheney and Kinzinger will be locked in a room with Cruz, who will then speak, uninterrupted, for an hour on a topic of his choosing. “Ten minutes in, they’ll come to regret what they’ve done,” McCarthy predicted. “No one has lasted fifteen.”
McCarthy’s decision to subject the two Republicans to an hour of Cruz drew a strong rebuke from Representative Cheney’s father, the former Vice-President Dick Cheney. “Much as I have been a longtime supporter of torture, this goes too far,” he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/gop-to-punish-cheney-and-kinzinger-by-forcing-them-to-spend-hour-with-ted-cruz
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I just knew it was the great Borowitz 
They must have really screwed up bad to deserve that level of punishment...
An entire hour? 
Talk about cruel and unusual punishment! Their brains will be wiped clean, like running a neodymium magnet over a hard drive. 
I saw the OP title and 
I know it's been hard for him the past 4 years, to do satire that actually wasn't an exact rendition of "real life news events", but this was good.
