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Thu Oct 18, 2012, 04:35 AM

Nation's Ever So Malleable Simpletons

Nation's Ever So Malleable Simpletons Fluttering Between Candidates Like Shuttlecocks Through Every Moment Of Debate



WASHINGTON—With their mouths agape and their glassy eyes fixed upon tonight’s televised presidential debate, the nation’s ever so suggestible dullards are currently fluttering to and fro like feathered shuttlecocks between candidates Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, sources have confirmed. “Well, I was planning on supporting Obama after he talked about his plan to create more manufacturing jobs, but then Romney said he would reduce our dependence on foreign oil, and that actually sounds better,” said 32-year-old Wilbur Pruett, one of the millions of gullible, weak-brained imbeciles gingerly batted back and forth between two possible voting options as though propelled by the tensile force of an ultralight stringed racquet.


“Then again, Obama did just say that Romney’s plan is bad for the middle class, so who knows? They just both seem right and wrong in so many ways.”

Reports suggested the nation’s utter simpletons will hover just so, in a gentle, suspended arc, until such time as they land on whichever candidate the man on the radio tells them to land on


http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-ever-so-malleable-simpletons-fluttering-be,29941/

5 replies, 1131 views

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Reply Nation's Ever So Malleable Simpletons (Original post)
Ichingcarpenter Oct 2012 OP
regnaD kciN Oct 2012 #1
Ichingcarpenter Oct 2012 #2
COLGATE4 Oct 2012 #3
boston bean Oct 2012 #4
Ichingcarpenter Oct 2012 #5

Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Thu Oct 18, 2012, 04:41 AM

1. Shouldn't this have been in LBN?



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Response to regnaD kciN (Reply #1)

Thu Oct 18, 2012, 04:43 AM

2. Shuttlecocks

would have confused some readers.

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Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Thu Oct 18, 2012, 08:42 AM

3. You know how bad it really is

when you can't tell the Onion from reality.

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Response to Ichingcarpenter (Original post)

Thu Oct 18, 2012, 08:46 AM

4. LOL. nt

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Response to boston bean (Reply #4)

Mon Oct 22, 2012, 01:59 PM

5. When you watch the debates tonight

remember this post when you see the focus groups they normally put there as undecided morans

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