Toddler Cites Freedom Of Choice In Refusal To Use Potty

[Zorro]

CHESANING, MI—Noting that it was her right as an American citizen to decide when and where she would urinate and defecate, 3-year-old Madison Ackrite told reporters Wednesday that she was simply exercising her constitutionally guaranteed freedom of choice when she refused to use the potty.

“My decision to pee-pee and poo-poo in the place of my choosing is a private health decision,” said Ackrite, noting that there was still a lot she didn’t know about the potty, and until she had done enough research to satisfy her concerns, she would continue to relieve herself in her pull-up diapers, as was her right in accordance with the rule of law.

“Unlike a lot of the kids in my daycare, I am not a sheep. If you want to use the potty, that is your personal choice, and no one is stopping you. All I ask is that you respect my decision, which is based on my personal belief that I hate going to the potty. I hate it, hate it, hate it!”

At press time, Ackrite refused to answer whether or not she had emptied her bowels on the living room floor, arguing that her refusal to divulge such information was protected by the courts.

https://www.theonion.com/toddler-cites-freedom-of-choice-in-refusal-to-use-potty-1847466497

[Hekate]

1. This

[secondwind]

2. 😂😂

[lagomorph777]

3. Also, she has 2nd Amendment rights.

Some toddlers in this debate have taken to using 2nd Amendment remedies to the problem.

[Buns_of_Fire]

4. I thought TFG had been banned from most social media. nt

[Fritz Walter]

10. Misleading headline led me to think likewise

His Depends just can’t keep up with the flow!
And he’s lashing out at anybody within earshot— just like a 3-year-old.

[Turbineguy]

5. My anti-vaxxer brother-in-law

Has begun responding to entreaties from family members to get vaccinated by posting more progressively idiotic nutjob stuff. The latest is the 500 Trillion lawsuit against the government. I really don't know what the plan is if he gets sick and has to go to a hospital.

He seems to be a libertarian but is hampered by the fact that he does not have government provided benefits. Unlike his hero, Rand Paul.

[calimary]

6. Sounds like every trumper I've ever heard talking.

[3catwoman3]

7. Libertarians, Trumpers and their ilk remind me of...

...toddlers and preschoolers stamping their feet and shrieking, "You're not the boss of me."

Time to grow up, folks.

[KS Toronado]

8. Holy cow, 3 years old and already pleading the 5th.

Is she a future reQublicOn?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

11. At 3 years old, I think she's invoking the 1st and 2nd amendments.

Expression and weaponry.

[rurallib]

9. I am sorry you posted this

It may be the right's next move

[William Seger]

12. My guess is rebellion against the oppressive "no pants, no service" rule

[Demovictory9]

13. Lol

[groundloop]

14. I've already alienated my grandson who refuses to get vaxxed, might as well show him this.....

Maybe he'll see the light one of these days, but until then he's unfortunately not welcome at our house.

[question everything]

15. Thanks, I needed this

[Wounded Bear]

16. Was actually worried a bit until I saw the link...

[CaptainTruth]

17. Brilliant! They all sound like toddlers.

[littlemissmartypants]

18. Let's see WHERE have we heard this before?

All I ask is that you respect my decision, which is based on my personal belief that...

The get out of jail free card phrase of personal choice entitlement. Also known as fightin' words.

Anarchy rules when there's a go potty exemption. Toddlers think they're so clever.




Just in case. . .

[intheflow]

19. Ooo, they blew a punchline.

Should have read

"At press time, Ackrite refused to answer whether or not she had emptied her bowels on the living room floor, arguing that "divulging such information would be a violation of her HPPA rights."