Tucker Carlson Announces He's Putting Life On Line By Getting Booster Shot To Investigate Vaccine

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON—In an effort to dare pry where the mainstream media would not, Tucker Carlson announced Thursday that he would be putting his life on the line by getting a booster shot for a Fox News investigation into the Covid-19 vaccine.

“God only knows what will happen to me when I take this shot, which is why I’ve selflessly volunteered to become one of the first to receive it,” said Carlson, who informed Tucker Carlson Tonight viewers that they would be the first to know if he were injured or even killed in his attempt to secure his third dose of the Pfizer vaccine, gravely explaining that he was conducting tireless research into booking a booster shot appointment for as soon as possible before he lost his nerve.

“Remember, if you hear about a clinic or pharmacy offering Covid-19 booster shots, do not take it; instead, call the show, and I’ll be there to ask the tough questions like, ‘Am I eligible?’ and ‘May I have it?’”

At press time, Carlson was calling for an investigation into the nurse at his physician’s office who told him he still needed to wait a few more weeks for the CDC’s clearance just like everybody else.

https://www.theonion.com/tucker-carlson-announces-he-putting-life-on-line-by-get-1847688854

[lame54]

1. Again he'll be first in line

[getagrip_already]

2. there is nothing wrong with the vaccine - but I still want to scare people with it

I am scared to get covid, so I am jumping the line to get the shot. But you should still be afraid.

What a pile of shite. He needs to be cancelled.

[HUAJIAO]

3. It's THE ONION...

[getagrip_already]

5. d'ohhhh!!!! I didn't even look...

It sounded so much like him, I just assumed it was real.

My bad.....

[HUAJIAO]

7. The first couple of sentences had me fooled too.

That tells one a lot about where America has gone!

[Irish_Dem]

9. Realty is farce right now. Can't tell Onion from truth anymore.

[johnp3907]

4. The Onion is satire.

[hlthe2b]

6. I can only say this did not HAVE to be The ONION... Sad that ridiculous fact & parody are so closely

aligned now.

[DFW]

8. The Onion's brilliance

…is that you have to check to make sure that it IS the Onion.

[bahboo]

11. especially on this one....I was actually surprised....

[Deuxcents]

10. Had me until I read the comments

Really had me! Got a good laugh at myself.. thanks