A Message From a Funeral Director

[berni_mccoy]

From Reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/prhzi9/a_message_from_a_funeral_director/

My job is to sit at a table with people who have just lost someone they love, and now have to figure out what to do next. Someone who was the most important person in their life is now gone, and now their world will never be the same without them.

Now, I'm spending my days sitting with family after family who lost someone precious to them to Covid-19 when there's has been a vaccine for it available for months. I've listened to countless variations of "I tried to get her to get the vaccine, but she said no."

Today I had to look a man who had just lost his wife, and the mother of his children, in the eye while he asked me "She had , so it probably would have killed her even if she had the vaccine...right?" The only answer I could give him was "I don't know." I watched him walk around my funeral home, as she laid in her casket, a husk of the person he used to be. I know he's going to be asking himself for a long time; maybe the rest of his life "If I had tried harder to convince her. If I had made her get the vaccine...would she still be here today?"

She wasn't the healthiest person, but she wasn't old. And nothing that was wrong with her would have killed her anytime soon. She probably had 30+ years left ahead of her at least. But instead, she died of Covid-19.

I'm just so sick of this. I'm so tired of seeing lives broken by this disease, just because people have some kind of bias against a shot that could have prevent their death.

Just because you're mostly healthy and fairly young, doesn't mean your safe. Just because you've had Covid before, doesn't mean your safe. Just because you've been around it in the past and didn't get sick, doesn't mean you're safe. Go ahead and ask me how I know.

I go into hospitals, nursing homes, hospices all day. I talk to doctors, pathologist, medical examiners and other funeral directors all day every day. Guess how many people I've seen or heard about dying from the vaccine. Fucking zero.

I just wanted to share my perspective, and this seemed like an appropriate place. I guess just ask yourself, do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering if the vaccine would have made a difference? Or do you want to know that you did everything you could? Because I've got a stack of files on my desk of people who wish they could go back and do things different.

[Hekate]

1. KnR

[Skittles]

2. this is why I keep badgering my non-Trump humper holdouts

I want to know I did everything I could in case something like this happens.

[MustLoveBeagles]

3. K&R

[dutch777]

4. Sorry that you, like med staff, have to be part of this slow motion train wreck. I wish someone

could make an event where they listed people's names, their age and how many are left behind and the emotional and financial suffering they are bearing due to Covid. I know probably could only list first names and other limitations due to privacy but all these folks that are anti-vax or for "free choice, no matter what" act like first, there are not that many deaths really and second, those that get Covid and survive and their families have no collateral damage. Lost wages or whole jobs lost, medical deductibles, events missed or delayed, non Covid patients dying waiting for a bed clogged for weeks by someone unvaccinated,,,the collateral damage is hardly acknowledged but I'll bet staggering to many it hits.

[calimary]

8. We all thought Sandy Hook was gonna be what would finally get through to all of America.

Fat chance.

Thanks a fucking heap, NRA.

,,/,

[dutch777]

12. So sadly true!

[halfulglas]

5. I read these stories and sometimes feel so sad

Because of the obstinance and stupidity of so many of these people. Of course I feel bad for the loved ones but I sometimes want to scream "How could you be sure it wouldn't touch you? You're supposed to take precautions to protect your loved ones." They don't trust science that gives them this wonderful thing - for free. You don't even have to go out and hunt sites down any more. Just go to your drug store. The statistics they don't believe because they do their own "research" on the internet but at the wrong sites. Look at the number of deaths of the unvaccinated and then the chance of the vaccinated dying. If they have smaller kids and later they ask how their mother died are you going to tell them because you didn't think the vaccine worked? In years to come, unless we are taken over by the RWs and history rewritten, they are going to find out their mother died of ignorance pushed by an army of trolls and right wing media.

Sorry, I'm just so tired of seeing these stories and wonder how long we have to endure them.

Also, Anne Arundel General Hospital in blue Maryland has delayed all elective surgeries requiring overnight admissions because of the COVID spike to free up beds. It just feels like this will never end.

[MustLoveBeagles]

7. I feel the same

I get so sad and angry about this. I feel like this country is in long term limbo. It feels like this country has given up.

[leftieNanner]

21. Our Local Hospitals have cancelled "elective" outpatient surgeries too

I was scheduled for surgery August 6th. It was cancelled August 4th. I'm still waiting.

And woe be to anybody in a car accident or who has a heart attack or a stroke!

[SheltieLover]

6. K&R!

[FakeNoose]

9. What are the odds of getting Covid in the USA in 2021?

It's covered in this DU post from a few days ago:
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215853554

What are the odds of getting Covid in the USA in 2021?

Unvaxxed
1 in 8 Chance of catching Covid
1 in 61 Chance of dying from Covid

Fully Vaxxed
1 in 13,402 Chance of catching Covid
1 in 86,500 chance of dying from Covid.

[Moebym]

10. Funeral directors and other employees in the business of dealing with bodies

are the forgotten frontline workers. We laud the nurses, doctors, and EMTs - rightfully so - but people like the funeral director who posted that comment in r/HermanCainAward deserve just as much acknowledgment, praise, and financial support.

Cries of help from him and people like Caitlin Doughty (an LA funeral home owner with a popular YouTube channel) have been going largely unnoticed because the general public still gets squicked out by the thought of death and dead bodies and consider people who chose career paths that involve close contact with dead bodies to be creepy weirdos to be avoided. Unfortunately, government officials at all levels seem to share in that sentiment.

I wonder if our near-daily exposure to images of people in hospital ICUs and body bags will help to change our attitude towards death for good. I have no doubt children have been asking more questions about death in the past 18+ months than they had been before, which has forced parents and teachers to find ways to answer them. If we as a society stopped treating death and dying as a taboo topic, we might, perhaps, stop being so cavalier about taking unnecessary risks with our safety and health in the name of "freedom".

[C Moon]

11. Here is a great site for more stories like this (it's been posted here a few times)...

https://www.sorryantivaxxer.com/

But these stories are regarding the anti-vaxxers who caught COVID.
The comments can be cold, but the stories will hopefully wake some folks up.

[LittleGirl]

13. Thank you sharing that link. Nt

[niyad]

14. KNR

[MineralMan]

15. A Rare Sort of Funeral Director, I Think.

I remember the Funeral Director I talked to after both of my parents died on the same day at age 96. Here's the basic conversation we had on the phone:

"My condolences on your loss. How will you be paying for our services?"

Same Funeral Director who misspelled my mother's first name on the death certificate form and caused a long delay in it being issued. Same Funeral Director who tried to upsell me several times on their caskets, despite the fact that there would be no services held.

The Funeral Director in the OP is not the usual individual people encounter when they lose a loved one, I'm afraid.

[berni_mccoy]

16. Maybe your experience is anecdotal

This person’s credentials were verified.

[MineralMan]

17. Yes, it was anecdotal, as was made clear in my post.

I did not say that all funeral directors are like the one I encountered. The funeral business is no longer family funeral homes run by people who are part of the community. It is now a conglomerated business.

I'm not the only one who has experienced such things, though.

I did not claim to have done an extensive survey of funeral homes. I gave one example, based my own experience. Of course it is anecdotal.

Please note: At no point did I criticize the man quoted in the OP, nor did I ever question his credentials.

[Elessar Zappa]

23. Unfortunately,

my experience with them is the same as yours. I’m sure there’s caring, compassionate, funeral home directors like the one in the OP but I haven’t dealt with any yet.

[MineralMan]

24. It's unfortunate. So many small funeral homes

have been bought up by major funeral companies that small-town or local ownership is just about gone. It's all just business for the news people in the industry, I guess.

When I discovered just how unconcerned and uncaring the one I had to use was, I shifted into "all-business" mode and got done what needed to be done. It all left a very bad taste in my mouth, though.

[zipplewrath]

28. Maybe not as rare as you think

We buried my brother, and both of my parents with a gentle and considerate FD. It's a business, but there was no high pressure sales job. Of course it was an outfit that was run by the son of a fellow parishioner. But it is a good lesson in why people should "plan" their own funerals. You can sort out these FD's when no one is in grief and there is no time pressure. You don't really need to pay up front for much, but you can get an idea of whom you'll be coordinating when the time comes. And like in our family, when my brother died unexpectedly, we were already prepared.

By the by, funerals/services aren't free, nor cheap. You want low cost, be cremated, have the remembrance service at your house, church, community center, whatever. The body doesn't have to be there for most visitors.

[czarjak]

18. Stand strong and don't blink. Ted Cruz advice on steroids.

[Lars39]

19. Unless the funeral home company is large enough,

they don’t get time off unless another funeral home director from another company can fill in for them. Their jobs are 24/7. With all the funeral homes being inundated due to covid-19, they are all being severely overworked in an already stressful job.

[Chainfire]

20. For the ones who are dying because they refuse the vaccine.

I just don't care any more. If they are too politically pure, if they can't stand a needle, if they don't believe the largest health crisis in our history is real, to hell with them. If they think that their faith in Jesus, Trump or horse medicine will save them, so be it. The only concern that I have anymore is that these idiots are filling up hospitals and are keeping people who aren't suffering from self-inflicted wounds from getting treatment. You should not have to die because your neighbor refused treatment.

If you made me king of the country I would lay down the law: No mandate, but anyone who was not vaccinated by the end of the month would be banned from hospitals, and that would include doctors and staff! After two months, all of the production of the vaccine would be shipped to other nations who would appreciate it. No excuses; make the bed you wish to sleep in.

To hell with them and the horse's asses they rode in on.

[Elessar Zappa]

22. I feel the same as you.

I can’t feel compassion for people who don’t give a damn about themselves, their families, or their neighbors. If they want to eliminate themselves from the gene pool, they can go right ahead.

[Texaswitchy]

27. Same here

No nothing.

[kimbutgar]

25. I have a friend who is a funeral director in Houston

He said he hasn’t been able to take any days off since the beginning of the pandemic. And they have made more money in the last 18 months then the previous 5 years.

[Chakaconcarne]

26. Well, we're all going to die eventually......

or that's what I keep hearing as a reason to not get the vaccine.