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Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:38 AM

Trump Claims He Won German Election

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Urging the German people to “stop the steal,” Donald J. Trump claimed that he was elected Chancellor of Germany over the weekend.

Trump said that, once the official vote tallies have been recounted, it will be clear that he won the German election by a “landslide.”

Reflecting on his purported win, Trump said, “I’ve always wanted to be the Chancellor of Germany. That’s a title that’s been held by some very fine people.”

He revealed that he planned to send the former mayor of New York Rudy Giuliani to Germany to contest the election results. “He hasn’t been disbarred there yet,” Trump said.

For his part, Giuliani said that he relished his latest mission on Trump’s behalf. “I can’t wait to get to Germany,” he said. “When does Oktoberfest start?”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-claims-he-won-german-election

27 replies, 4595 views

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 27 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trump Claims He Won German Election (Original post)
Zorro Sep 2021 OP
spanone Sep 2021 #1
Hugh_Lebowski Sep 2021 #2
LineReply .
berni_mccoy Sep 2021 #3
SergeStorms Sep 2021 #12
Kimber432 Sep 2021 #17
Larissa Sep 2021 #21
Permanut Sep 2021 #4
SergeStorms Sep 2021 #13
Pantagruel Sep 2021 #5
orleans Sep 2021 #10
sarchasm Sep 2021 #19
marble falls Sep 2021 #6
malaise Sep 2021 #7
moondust Sep 2021 #8
indyblue Sep 2021 #9
SergeStorms Sep 2021 #11
SWBTATTReg Sep 2021 #14
getagrip_already Sep 2021 #15
JustABozoOnThisBus Sep 2021 #16
Celerity Sep 2021 #18
twodogsbarking Sep 2021 #20
LetMyPeopleVote Sep 2021 #22
LiberalFighter Sep 2021 #23
Coventina Sep 2021 #25
yellowcanine Sep 2021 #24
calimary Sep 2021 #26
Norbert Sep 2021 #27

Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:40 AM

1. Perfect, thank you Andy.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:45 AM

2. The greatest line is definitely this one ...

“I’ve always wanted to be the Chancellor of Germany. That’s a title that’s been held by some very fine people.”


It really ties the joke together.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:49 AM

3. .

 

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Response to berni_mccoy (Reply #3)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:04 PM

12. Waaaaay to thin.....

for 'Shitler'.

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Response to berni_mccoy (Reply #3)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:32 PM

17. Oh noooo, it's really a joke. : (

I was ever so hopeful we'd be rid of this orange butt wad. *sigh*

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Response to berni_mccoy (Reply #3)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:16 PM

21. Just in time for the Oktoberfest

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:56 AM

4. And if the recount doesn't come out "right"..

I think a trip to Germany for Cyber Ninjas is in order.

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Response to Permanut (Reply #4)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:06 PM

13. Cyber Storm Troopers.

Cyber 'Ninjas' don't travel well.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:14 PM

5. Best line:

“When does Oktoberfest start?”

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Response to Pantagruel (Reply #5)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:59 PM

10. lol! i was just going to post the exact same thing

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Response to Pantagruel (Reply #5)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:53 PM

19. I have it on very good authority ...

… that Oktoberfest does indeed fall within the month of October.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:17 PM

6. Quote: "Bigly. Ich was Aufmitzebegeherobbed."

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:17 PM

7. Perfect

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:27 PM

8. Not possible.

Donald J. Trump died of syphilis five months ago. His body double can make these claims but many, many people will know the truth.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:41 PM

9. Heil Shitler !

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:03 PM

11. I knew it.

Borowitz never disappoints.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:08 PM

14. Ha ha ... I did just wonder that if the powers that be, really made attempts to make this article

sound really legitimate, that rump really did win the German elections, that how trump supporters would actually fall for it? How many would actually think that somehow, rump won a German election, and thus, he would not be eligible to run for president of the US as a result...I actually bet that some of these trump nuts would actually fall for this ruse...

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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #14)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:18 PM

15. Might be fun to try....if you have a working account that has

Access to their Facebook groups, try seeding it.

I bet the rubes would run with it.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:23 PM

16. He won "tsar" in Russia, but it was stolen by Putin's fake election officials.

He was so looking forward to a great golf course and estate in Crimea.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:38 PM

18. prepping

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Response to Celerity (Reply #18)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:54 PM

20. White House portrait?

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:22 PM

22. I love good satire

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:36 PM

23. I thought this was for real. LMAO Borowitz is good.

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Response to LiberalFighter (Reply #23)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:43 PM

25. He's a national treasure!

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:39 PM

24. But to accept he has to change his name back to Drump.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:51 PM

26. ANDY BOROWITZ!!!

OMG I needed this, this morning!

Thought I’d earned a couple of days off from my Indivisible group after almost a solid month of rally organizing (TWO rallies two weeks apart), planning, writing, editing, and generating loads of emails and calls and invitations and announcements, promotion before, during, and after, and I thought I was done.

And then, wouldn’t ya know it, I get one of those “hey, I just sent you an email, could you just check …” calls this morning and, well, shit, you get the idea. Sorry to complain. I thought today and tomorrow were free ‘n’ clear. Nope.

So a timely Andy Borowitz contribution helps salvage the day! MANY thanks!

(Btw, the other consolation prize: at least both events went well. 30 people the first time - and it’s usually 5-7 of us actually showing up. And FIFTY people plus a few local dignitaries came to the second one and we even got press coverage! So there IS that!)

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Mon Sep 27, 2021, 03:07 PM

27. His first act

To replace pretzels and beer with hamberders and diet Coke for all.

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