Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:38 AM
Zorro (14,712 posts)
Trump Claims He Won German Election
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Urging the German people to “stop the steal,” Donald J. Trump claimed that he was elected Chancellor of Germany over the weekend.
Trump said that, once the official vote tallies have been recounted, it will be clear that he won the German election by a “landslide.” Reflecting on his purported win, Trump said, “I’ve always wanted to be the Chancellor of Germany. That’s a title that’s been held by some very fine people.” He revealed that he planned to send the former mayor of New York Rudy Giuliani to Germany to contest the election results. “He hasn’t been disbarred there yet,” Trump said. For his part, Giuliani said that he relished his latest mission on Trump’s behalf. “I can’t wait to get to Germany,” he said. “When does Oktoberfest start?” https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-claims-he-won-german-election
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27 replies, 4595 views
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Author | Time | Post |
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Zorro | Sep 2021 | OP |
spanone | Sep 2021 | #1 | |
Hugh_Lebowski | Sep 2021 | #2 | |
berni_mccoy | Sep 2021 | #3 | |
SergeStorms | Sep 2021 | #12 | |
Kimber432 | Sep 2021 | #17 | |
Larissa | Sep 2021 | #21 | |
Permanut | Sep 2021 | #4 | |
SergeStorms | Sep 2021 | #13 | |
Pantagruel | Sep 2021 | #5 | |
orleans | Sep 2021 | #10 | |
sarchasm | Sep 2021 | #19 | |
marble falls | Sep 2021 | #6 | |
malaise | Sep 2021 | #7 | |
moondust | Sep 2021 | #8 | |
indyblue | Sep 2021 | #9 | |
SergeStorms | Sep 2021 | #11 | |
SWBTATTReg | Sep 2021 | #14 | |
getagrip_already | Sep 2021 | #15 | |
JustABozoOnThisBus | Sep 2021 | #16 | |
Celerity | Sep 2021 | #18 | |
twodogsbarking | Sep 2021 | #20 | |
LetMyPeopleVote | Sep 2021 | #22 | |
LiberalFighter | Sep 2021 | #23 | |
Coventina | Sep 2021 | #25 | |
yellowcanine | Sep 2021 | #24 | |
calimary | Sep 2021 | #26 | |
Norbert | Sep 2021 | #27 |
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:40 AM
spanone (132,865 posts)
1. Perfect, thank you Andy.
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:45 AM
Hugh_Lebowski (30,322 posts)
2. The greatest line is definitely this one ...
“I’ve always wanted to be the Chancellor of Germany. That’s a title that’s been held by some very fine people.”
It really ties the joke together. ![]() |
Response to berni_mccoy (Reply #3)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:04 PM
SergeStorms (18,114 posts)
12. Waaaaay to thin.....
for 'Shitler'.
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Response to berni_mccoy (Reply #3)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:32 PM
Kimber432 (74 posts)
17. Oh noooo, it's really a joke. : (
I was ever so hopeful we'd be rid of this orange butt wad. *sigh*
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Response to berni_mccoy (Reply #3)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:16 PM
Larissa (716 posts)
21. Just in time for the Oktoberfest
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 11:56 AM
Permanut (3,781 posts)
4. And if the recount doesn't come out "right"..
I think a trip to Germany for Cyber Ninjas is in order.
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Response to Permanut (Reply #4)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:06 PM
SergeStorms (18,114 posts)
13. Cyber Storm Troopers.
Cyber 'Ninjas' don't travel well.
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:14 PM
Pantagruel (2,397 posts)
5. Best line:
“When does Oktoberfest start?”
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Response to Pantagruel (Reply #5)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:59 PM
orleans (31,896 posts)
10. lol! i was just going to post the exact same thing
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Response to Pantagruel (Reply #5)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:53 PM
sarchasm (873 posts)
19. I have it on very good authority ...
… that Oktoberfest does indeed fall within the month of October.
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:17 PM
marble falls (47,684 posts)
6. Quote: "Bigly. Ich was Aufmitzebegeherobbed."
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 12:27 PM
moondust (18,920 posts)
8. Not possible.
Donald J. Trump died of syphilis five months ago. His body double can make these claims but many, many people will know the truth.
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:03 PM
SergeStorms (18,114 posts)
11. I knew it.
Borowitz never disappoints.
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:08 PM
SWBTATTReg (19,172 posts)
14. Ha ha ... I did just wonder that if the powers that be, really made attempts to make this article
sound really legitimate, that rump really did win the German elections, that how trump supporters would actually fall for it? How many would actually think that somehow, rump won a German election, and thus, he would not be eligible to run for president of the US as a result...I actually bet that some of these trump nuts would actually fall for this ruse...
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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #14)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:18 PM
getagrip_already (10,184 posts)
15. Might be fun to try....if you have a working account that has
Access to their Facebook groups, try seeding it.
I bet the rubes would run with it. |
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:23 PM
JustABozoOnThisBus (22,595 posts)
16. He won "tsar" in Russia, but it was stolen by Putin's fake election officials.
He was so looking forward to a great golf course and estate in Crimea.
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Response to Celerity (Reply #18)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 01:54 PM
twodogsbarking (5,628 posts)
20. White House portrait?
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:22 PM
LetMyPeopleVote (124,346 posts)
22. I love good satire
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:36 PM
LiberalFighter (45,229 posts)
23. I thought this was for real. LMAO Borowitz is good.
Response to LiberalFighter (Reply #23)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:43 PM
Coventina (24,988 posts)
25. He's a national treasure!
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:39 PM
yellowcanine (35,482 posts)
24. But to accept he has to change his name back to Drump.
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Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 02:51 PM
calimary (73,930 posts)
26. ANDY BOROWITZ!!!
OMG I needed this, this morning!
Thought I’d earned a couple of days off from my Indivisible group after almost a solid month of rally organizing (TWO rallies two weeks apart), planning, writing, editing, and generating loads of emails and calls and invitations and announcements, promotion before, during, and after, and I thought I was done. And then, wouldn’t ya know it, I get one of those “hey, I just sent you an email, could you just check …” calls this morning and, well, shit, you get the idea. Sorry to complain. I thought today and tomorrow were free ‘n’ clear. Nope. So a timely Andy Borowitz contribution helps salvage the day! MANY thanks! (Btw, the other consolation prize: at least both events went well. 30 people the first time - and it’s usually 5-7 of us actually showing up. And FIFTY people plus a few local dignitaries came to the second one and we even got press coverage! So there IS that!) |
Response to Zorro (Original post)
Mon Sep 27, 2021, 03:07 PM
Norbert (5,510 posts)
27. His first act
To replace pretzels and beer with hamberders and diet Coke for all.
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