How 'Big Funeral' Made the Afterlife So Expensive

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

“YOU CAN’T DIE these days because it’s too expensive,” Randy Hinojosa told Time last year. Hinojosa had just paid $15,000 for a funeral for his wife of 26 years, after she died of the coronavirus. Like thousands of families coping with unexpected pandemic funeral costs, he drained his savings and launched a crowdfunding campaign to recoup some of the losses. “I didn’t even want to ask anybody for money,” Hinojosa said, crying. “I had this pride that I could do this.”

The pandemic, which has killed 690,000 Americans and counting, has magnified the importance of swift, respectful disposition of the dead—and the untenable cost of doing business in the current system. In 2019, the average funeral cost $9,135, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. That included viewing and burial, but not dwindling cemetery space or big-ticket items like monuments and other grave markers. Even cremation, for decades promoted as a cheaper (and greener) alternative to burial, now averages $6,645.

These practices are not just financially devastating, they’re also environmentally calamitous. In addition to human remains, traditional burial puts an estimated 1.6 million tons of reinforced concrete and 800,000 gallons of formaldehyde—a chemical used in embalming and a probable carcinogen—into the earth each year. Cremation, meanwhile, generates an estimated 534.6 pounds of carbon dioxide per person—more than the per capita emissions of Afghanistan.

These harsh end-of-life economics have contributed to a crisis of funeral poverty in the US, says Victoria J. Haneman, a professor at Creighton University School of Law in Nebraska. Funeral poverty existed long before the pandemic and, without significant reform to both the funeral industry and to national and local systems of funeral aid, many families will continue to struggle with growing credit card debt and new personal loans amidst their crushing grief.

https://www.wired.com/story/death-funeral-industry-lobbying-politics-health/

[Sibelius Fan]

1. Republican solution: don't die.

[Skittles]

2. why would cremation cost over six thousand dollars?

what a fucking ripoff

[Hoyt]

5. Don't think, at least I hope, the simplest cremation is much over $1000 or

so. But if you have viewing services, a little better treatment of the remains to be morbid, etc., it starts creeping up.

That’s based on a quick internet search in my local area. So, the reality might be a lot more than the ads indicate when you are getting the sales job from the funeral home shaming you into spending more.

[berniesandersmittens]

6. Likely a full funeral followed by cremation nt

[Journeyman]

12. We cremated my Sister in 2018 for $1,500. The boat to take her out to sea cost around $1,000 . . .

We just had a simple service for her in a park near the pier. Her daughter wanted a religious burial, so an Episcopalian Padre I knew said a few words. I gave him $250 and took him to lunch afterwards. The daughter rented a bus to bring some 30 people to the service and out for the dispersal (which is why the boat cost what it did).

When we disperse my brother's cremains in the next year or so, we're taking him to a lake in the Sierra's so his cremation will only cost the $1,500 needed for the mortuary.

It can be done for far less money than was quoted in the article. Just depends on how much you want to be played by the mortuary racket.

Funeral services are for the living. What is spent on them is entirely dependent on what the living require, not the dead.

[Coventina]

24. My dog just recently died (I'm still grieving)

His emergency trip to the vet, the vet exam, euthanasia, and private cremation with beautiful wooden box all amounted to less than $500.

And he was as big as some small adult humans (about 100 lbs.)

Don't understand the exponential cost compared to doing the same with humans.

[Skittles]

34. very sorry Coventina

I know the pain of losing a pet, it's like they take a piece of our heart with them.....and this example is spot on regarding how humans a ripped off at end of life.

[Coventina]

35. Aw, thanks so much, Skittles!

I do feel like part of my heart went with him.

[Skittles]

36. my granda called it "the price of love"

[dflprincess]

3. Jessica Mitford covered the high cost of death in ger book "The American Way of Death"

published in 1963 (and revised in 1996). Though I don't recall if she touched on the environmental impacts (I read the book for a sociology class in the '70s.)

One can only guess what she'd think about it now.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_American_Way_of_Death

[niyad]

4. The "American Way of Death" is insane.

[malaise]

22. It's not just the American way of death

A good friend died recently - she was cremated but the costs were ridiculous

[brooklynite]

7. Nobody needs to pay for a funeral.

They exist, with costs. because want them for some reason. Cremate the body and dispose of the ashes.

[keithbvadu2]

8. Guilt trip. You want to go cheap? Don't you love your mother?

Guilt trip.

You want to go cheap?

Don't you love your mother?

[Silent3]

9. I've put it in my will that my dead meat be disposed of as cheaply as possible

First priority: If the living can make use of anything that's still in good enough shape for transplant, that's where those parts of me should go.

The rest? If medical students want it, fine.

Anything else left? Cheapest legal disposal possible. Fertilize some plants maybe, if that can be done rather than cheap cremation.

I have absolutely no sentimentality about what happens with my body after death. I wish more people were like that.

[lagomorph777]

17. Same here!

[niyad]

23. Same here. As I am into conservation and recycling, my instructions are, harvest

everything that is reusable, crisp the rest, and fertilize the garden. I am sure there will be a couple of celebrations that I am out of the way, and my friends can throw a party.

Years ago, a dear friend died and was cremated. When the weather was good we took his ashes to his favourie fishing area, scattered them, and hadlunch at his favourite restaurant there.

Last month, we had a picnic in one of the local reserves for a friend who died during the summer. His cremains were in an urn beneath a photo display of his life. Good friends, good food, good music, good memories.

[jimfields33]

10. 26,000?

What? Gold casket? A funeral with cremation can be 3,000 even with a fancy holder for the ashes.

[LeftInTX]

26. Catholic funerals are the worst

Embalming - Dressing - Makeup (not required)
Cheaper casket runs about 1,000 plus
Visitation with viewing (not required, but popular and requires embalming and makeup)
Flowers/spays
Transport to church * (required for Catholic funerals)
Transport to cemetery
Cemetery plot 1,000 plus
Vault - required in most states 1,000 plus
Cremation is allowed in the Catholic Church, but ....


My mom was Presbyterian
No visitation - no viewing - no embalming - no casket at church - free burial at VA
We were at about $15,000 for:
1. Budget wood casket $1,200 (Metal is actually cheaper than wood, but both my parents insisted on wood)
2. Obituary
3. Floral spay on casket - about $700
4. Body prep with no viewing or embalming (Refrigeration for 4 days..we brought some clothes from home)
6. Service planning/assistance
7. Hearst to cemetery * ( a good chunk of the expense is for the hearst, body transport..caskets are heavy) We went in our own cars and didn't hire limos to haul us around.LOL

There are alot of hidden expenses too like coordination, thank you cards, guest signing book, staff from funeral home was at the church even though her body wasn't there, they arranged all the flowers at the church. They did alot of coordination with the church. They helped plan the service too. Although we planned it, it's next to impossible for a family to run the thing by themselves, so they have someone from the funeral home who handles the guest registration book and takes the registration book back to the funeral home. They also help usher guests if needed. They coordinate times with the church and make sure requested hymns can be performed. We had to make sure that the organist was available and that she could play all the music requested...(Sometimes families will request music and the organist may not be familiar with it) I know the funeral home staff was mingling with us during the reception afterward. They keep track of time and tell us what do next etc. They do alot of little stuff that adds up.
https://www.artofdyingwell.org/catholic-funeral-planning-checklist/

Those limos are very expensive and when we saw the price that was required to haul a casket to the church, we decided against it. Of course without a body at the church, it's a "memorial" not a "funeral" Catholic churches require the body at the church. Cemeteries are also very expensive. Additionally most cemeteries and codes required vaulting (to prevent leaching into the soil etc). The VA performs it for free. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burial_vault_(enclosure)
It's a racket

[Horse with no Name]

11. I paid close to $20,000 to bury my mom

I said “we want the cheapest casket”…okay, we will go to the casket show room. “No. Just give me your cheapest casket”…that sure isn’t what they want to hear.

[Blue Owl]

13. The Death Care Industry

[bamagal62]

14. Just like big wedding.

It’s all a scam.

[shrike3]

15. One of my husband's friends request that a potluck be held at the house in lieu of services.

Everybody sat around, looked at old pictures and talked about the old times.

I have been directed by DH to mingle his cremains with that of his beloved dog. I will then take them to his favorite fishing lake (hopefully unobserved) and sprinkle them over the surface so they can fish together forever.

[lagomorph777]

16. I want my carcass disposed of in the cheapest legal way.

Total waste of money to throw a big depressing bash, dig a fancy hole, and bury a fancy box in it.

[LeftInTX]

20. It's illegal to thrown it in the garbage...

I asked for "a friend"..

[lagomorph777]

21. Yeah, that tends to cause a ruckus.

[cinematicdiversions]

18. No that is not correct.

"cremation, for decades promoted as a cheaper (and greener) alternative to burial, now averages $6,645."

I recently paid for a cremation and they are about $1200 across the board. The entire funeral was only 10K and that included plane tickets and hotel rooms and rental cars as well as a the service. And that is for a destination funeral in Westport.

[Sgent]

19. In my area

a cremation costs around $700 -- including picking up the remains from hospital / hospice, death certificates, filing with SSA, VA, and a stiff cardboard box of remains.

Behind the scenes that also includes x-ray ing the body, removal, and recycling of any medical implants / equipment, etc. They are
specially worried about any metal, mercury fillings, and implants with nuclear batteries and must be licensed and insured to deal with that.

[Coventina]

25. In light of this information, I'm considering donating my remains to science.

Maybe then my sad carcass can actually do some good.

[LeftInTX]

28. Good luck with that...they have too many requests and bodies..

[Coventina]

30. Wow. I was not aware of that!

I figured that it was like donating organs and blood, not nearly enough.

Thanks for the info!

[LeftInTX]

31. Check into it now

[Tanuki]

27. You can get a biodegradable cardboard coffin for about $300

https://carolinamemorialsanctuary.org/biodegradable-burial-containers-for-green-burial-coffins-caskets/

Apparently people often choose to decorate them (paint, decoupage, etc.) for a personal touch. There's a picture at the link.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

29. My state, Washington, recently passed a law allowing for bodies to be composted.

That's what I want done with mine. Then plant a tree over me.

Cremation uses an awful lot of fuel. It's really not green or carbon neutral.

[Tanuki]

32. This type of "green burial" appeals to me:

https://www.honeycreekwoodlands.com/what-is-a-green-burial

.."Preserving the Natural World

Honey Creek Woodlands is a conservation burial ground in Conyers, Georgia located among the Monastery of the Holy Spirit's 2,300 acres and adjacent to the 8,000 acre Arabia Mountain Heritage Corridor.


As a natural burial ground, Honey Creek Woodlands is a nature preserve first and bears little resemblance to a conventional cemetery. There are no manicured lawns or rows of headstones. Instead, burial sites are located among the trails, forests, meadows, wildflowers, and trees of the preserve. Graves are marked by simple engraved stone markers.


This alternative to modern burial returns the body to the earth in its most natural state, without use of embalming chemicals or a concrete vault. This lessens the impact of burial on the earth. Natural burials allow Honey Creek Woodlands to conserve nature by expanding the wildlife habitat, providing an environment for native plants to thrive,  and providing clean air, and a cleaner watershed.


Bodies are laid to rest in a shroud or casket made of biodegradable materials. Cremated remains are also buried in biodegradable containers. The scattering of ashes is not allowed."...(more)

[Xolodno]

33. Church I'm involved with is part of a group that owns...

...a few cemeteries. Plot and entombment is kept low and only allows certain cheap type of coffins (which also allows to conserve space). Service is performed by a minister and is voluntary. Not all the land is used so they rent out the some of the lots until its needed, this has put a tremendous amount into the bank over the decades. So they have the funds for maintaining and buying a new lot if needed.

As for the mortuary, they work with an exclusive few who get all the business, but also keep costs down.

The only thing you can actually splurge on is the tombstone.

Funny thing is, you have these mega churches, large congregations, well established groups of religions, etc. that could do the same thing...but choose to use that money on nicer buildings, quietly donating to political causes, etc.