Facebook Apologizes for January 6th: "We Put the Lives of Politicians We Own at Risk"

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

MENLO PARK (The Borowitz Report)—Apologizing for his company’s role in the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol, the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, acknowledged, “We put the lives of politicians we own at risk.”

“At Facebook, we have worked tirelessly to acquire a world-class collection of politicians,” Zuckerberg said. “On January 6th, we recklessly and foolishly endangered that very expensive investment.”

“We can—we must—do better,” Zuckerberg added.

Nick Clegg, the former Deputy Prime Minister of the U.K. who is now a Facebook executive, vouched for Zuckerberg’s sincerity. “As a politician who was purchased by Facebook, I can assure you that Mark is committed to protecting the lives of others in my asset class,” he said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/facebook-apologizes-for-january-6th-we-put-the-lives-of-politicians-we-own-at-risk

[marble falls]

1. Borowitz is a national treasure.

[niyad]

2. Had to check.

[FakeNoose]

3. Even some of the politicians they DON'T own!

[OAITW r.2.0]

4. Ain't that the truth, though.

They are generating more revenue than the USG.*















* Could be BS conjecture on my part, but my gut says they are printing money.

[BigmanPigman]

5. I'd be laughing right now

but this is the truth and therefore it is very scary.