One of those long draining days

[KentuckyWoman]

Someone I love not even 40 ... dead. Brain aneurysm in the night.

I don't need vibes or wishes or so sorry or recs. What I ask is if you don't have your wishes on paper do it this week. The will, the advanced directives. The ability of someone to access your stuff. The ability for your family to limp along at first without you. All of that stuff.

Be patient. Be kind. Be sure they know you love them. Repeat tomorrow.

Please do it now.

[markie]

1. be sure they know you love them...

we lost our son last year (not yet 40) and the thing that makes it not absolutely unbearable is that he knew he was loved and we knew he loved us... it is so important

[malaise]

2. Very important

Rec

[TomDaisy]

3. just FYI - there are many inexpensive journals on Amazon helping you document everything for your

family.

With prompts about your final wishes, your passwords, bank accounts, insurance policies, property you own, directives about your pets, etc.

Just so you know, you don't have to re-invent the wheel on this.

This doesn't replace having a lawyer help you with a will of course but for the non-lawyer stuff it seems very smart and useful.

[stopdiggin]

5. 100% this can be an enormous help. -(nt)-

[csziggy]

7. I used Quicken WillMaker to make several versions of my wishes

Over the years. It walks you through all the steps and things to think about and prompts you to document all those items you list. Not only can you make your will, you can set up Power of Attorney, Health Care Surrogate, Healthcare Directives, and funeral directives.

While since, I have used an estate attorney to create a trust and a new will, I may still go through the process with Quicken WillMaker to document all those little details since it makes it so easy.

I most recently purchased the program through Nolo.com - but they all have lots of information there if you want to do it without using a program.

[TomDaisy]

12. +1

[OneGrassRoot]

9. What keywords does one use to find these journals?

Using the word "journal" is bringing up a lot of actual end-of-life journals. This could be very helpful. Thanks very much.

[KentuckyWoman]

11. +1 thank you.

Good idea. Thank you.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

4. This is incredibly important.

I've been known to pester friends on this topic.

I have one friend who still doesn't have a will and desperately needs one, in my opinion. Not that he has a lot of money or valuable things, but I think he doesn't fully understand what a clusterfuck it will be if he dies intestate. If I lived closer to him I'd physically drag him to an attorney, but alas we live some 1600 miles apart.

Not only do you need appropriate advance directives, but they need to be updated periodically.

[Demovictory9]

6. good advice

[flotsam2]

8. Nah

You get ny commiseration...

[Hortensis]

10. Personalization: Clean out those drawers. I know which ones.

And of course tell everyone I love you more often.

Thanks, Kentucky Woman.