Why I am Pro-Choice—By A Survivor of Childhood Incest, Rape and Kidnapping

[xchrom]

http://www.alternet.org/newsandviews/article/762086/why_i_am_pro-choice%E2%80%94by_a_survivor_of_childhood_incest%2C_rape_and_kidnapping/

I am a survivor of childhood incest, rape and kidnapping. It is for this reason that I understand what too many arrogant lawmakers cannot: A woman’s freedom to decide what happens to her body (and mind), especially after it has been violated, is crucial to her physical, mental and emotional survival.

I grew up in an abusive, violent, drug-using, alcoholic home; I also grew up being sexually abused. My first experiences of digital penetration were during my second year of life, and my first experience of penile penetration occurred when I was seven. By the time I was eight, I had been raped by both my stepfather and a boarder who lived in our home. When I was nine, after my mother had moved me to California to escape the abuse we were both suffering, my stepfather kidnapped me and raped me again. This was the last time.

I was fortunate enough not to have reached puberty until after my abuse had ended; however, had I become pregnant while still a part of this family experience, I would likely either have been subjected to another form of violent abuse to end my pregnancy in order to prevent prosecution for my rapists, or I would have killed myself. I was also fortunate in another way: My experience caused me to despise sex; because of this, I did not act out sexually with others, a common reaction in sexually abused girls, and so, I did not become pregnant trying to act out or resolve my abuse in my adolescence. However, had I done so, the physical, mental and emotional abuse that continued in my extended family would also have resulted in my killing myself before having to explain that I was pregnant. Alternately, because of the damage caused by the early abuse, if I had been forced to carry a baby to term, all other social, emotional, financial and educational damage aside, I might have been in danger of dying while giving birth.

Despite my abuse, I was so much more fortunate than are millions of women who are raped and/or victims of sexual abuse and incest in this country: This includes one in every four girls who are victims of sexual abuse, and at least one victim of rape every two minutes, 44% of whom are under the age of 18. Those who become pregnant are not only forced to bear the many consequences of pregnancy after having been a victim, but are forced to bear a mental and emotional consequence that is inconceivable to those who have not lived the experience, and that, statistically, will be passed on to a child brought into this world by the most damaging violent act possible.

[southernyankeebelle]

1. Thank you for sharing your terrible story. Hope you are doing much better.

Are you doing ok now? I know your never get over it. Maybe someone here will realize they aren't alone. I consider myself very lucky.

[xchrom]

3. I'm a gay man - the story is from alternet.

I'm just a very, very strong supporter of pro-choice options.

[southernyankeebelle]

4. You sure went through hell. God bless you.

[TalkingDog]

16. The Story is from the INTERNET. The thing you are on right now. The guy who posted it on DU is not

the woman who is relating her story on the INTERNET.

[southernyankeebelle]

17. Oh, I didn't realize that. Thanks, but then again I guess you got that.

[cally]

2. Thanks for sharing your story

and I am amazed at the sane woman you are now after a tortuous childhood.

[redqueen]

5. Thank you for sharing that woman's story here.

[xchrom]

6. whew -- thank you! nt

[hang a left]

11. People do not realize how many

Victims there are. They are your neighbors, the lady in front of you at the supermarket checkout, th woman you volunteer with for the PTA. We are everywhere.

[redqueen]

12. True, but many of the victims are male, too.

Let's not forget them, even though are not the majority of sexual abuse victims.

[hang a left]

13. So true red queen

I had a brother that was horribly abused.

[moriah]

7. Thanks for posting this article.

A lot of my reaction to the idea of any other person being able to control what happens to my body has to do with a sense of violation inherent in the very thought.

MY body. MY choice.

Any force abrogates choice.

[xchrom]

8. +1

[Ecumenist]

9. I, too. am a survivor of sexual, emotional and physical abuse. I have always been pro-choice

My god, how could anyone force a "child" to bear the child of her rapist. God bless you xchrommif I may ask, was your stepfather prosecuted? He's a predatory pedophile..

[xchrom]

10. the story is not about me -- i'm a gay man -- the story -- link provided

is from alternet.

[Ecumenist]

14. Ir struck a chord as it's very close to my own experience...nt

[libodem]

15. That's why

I detest people like Santorum who are proud to say no abortion even for rape or incest. Any why wouldn't the consider the emotional scars left on a young mother who chooses adoption? That has to suck, I don't care how altruistic or mature you are.

It's about trapping women in guilt and shame.

[Kellerfeller]

18. I am generally against abortion

but have no problem with it in the case of rape or when the woman's physical health is in danger.

The problem I have with victims of rape getting abortions without having to report the rape is that in most cases, the rapist will go on to rape others. Yes, I realize it is traumatic for the victim to go through the reporting and prosecution. But it is also traumatic for all of the other rapists victims who continue to get raped.

By being brought up on charges, even if there is not evidence to convict (although the DNA of the fetus is pretty good evidence, especially if the victim is a minor), the process alone would hopefully deter the perv in the future.