10 Things That Aren't In Your Bible

[Jilly_in_VA]

(I posted this here for those of you who don't read in the Religion section. Thought you might find it interesting.)

There are many things Christians think are in the Bible, but aren’t. Here’s a list of 10, in case you are interested.

I. The Rapture
There are a bunch of American Christians who think that the Rapture is taught in the Bible. It’s not. That doctrine was not developed until 1830, by a guy named John Nelson Darby. He based his entire theological system off a girl’s vivid dreams, and read his interpretation into the texts.

II. LGBTQ Clobber Passages
There are 6 or 7 so-called clobber passages that many Christians think condemn the LGBTQ community. They are incorrect. There is nothing in the Bible that condemns us. There are passages that condemn certain practices that involve coercion, but nothing that condemns same-gendered love. To read a condemnation of the LGBTQ community into the Bible is to engage in a gross anachronism.

III. Violent Jesus
Many Christians love themselves a violent Jesus, one who is gonna come back to kick ass and take names. The problem is that that Jesus never existed. Sure, a Jesus who flipped tables and got angry existed, but not one who endorsed actual violence. To see a violent Jesus in the text is to eisegete rather than exegete.


https://www.patheos.com/blogs/allsetfree/2022/01/10-things-that-arent-in-your-bible/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=FBCP-TCL&fbclid=IwAR2lou0qFMBEJ3NRb2U1x2IbTz5JaTqFYuojO76H3Ejk9pscnAZfP_XSUKI

[niyad]

1. KNR

[Wednesdays]

2. The

"Mary Magdalene was a prostitute" fallacy was a major point in The DaVinci Code.

[Jilly_in_VA]

11. The bible actually calls her

"a woman of the city" which may mean she was a businesswoman, rather like Lydia, who dealt in purple dyes and was an early Christian. Some scholars think that Mary Magdalene may have helped fund Jesus and the disciples on their travels.

[intheflow]

34. My favorite bit of Biblical interpretation bullshit about Mary Magdelene

is that James and other male prophets were the first to see the risen Christ (Corinthians 15:3-5). But in all the synoptic gospels (Luke, Matthew, Mark and John), Christ first appeared to Mary Magdelene. When she told the male disciples what she witnessed they basically gaslit her and said she crazy with grief. The James saw him and all the guys believed.

[CrispyQ]

3. I read an article that stated the Bible doesn't talk about abortion, either.

???

If that's true, it should be #1 on the list, IMO.

[KS Toronado]

7. Plus several that say life begins at birth

Not when 2 tiny seeds meet in the womb as pro-lifers want people to believe.

[TygrBright]

8. Actually, there are a couple of passages that refer to it in a "how to" sense...

...in connection with various Levitical hair-splitting about adultery and legitimacy. You can read those passages as recommending it as a tool for determining whether a gestating foetus is legitimately sired by the patriarch who owns the womb-carrier, or by the thief who steals access to that womb belonging to the patriarch.

But, I wouldn't necessarily recommend that interpretation. It's a bit harsh.

helpfully,
Bright

[Alpeduez21]

25. When confronted with the ludicrousness of Leviticus

many christians have told me 'Leviticus doesn't count.' So, basically, the bible is infallible except when it's not.

[czarjak]

31. Except when Mormonism's foundational tenet says The New Testament is "flawed"?

[LiberalFighter]

38. Especially when it is the Revised King James Bible.

[Midnight Writer]

4. Thank you. This looks like an interesting site. I've bookmarked it and will dig into it later.

[llashram]

5. your interpretation-understanding

Last edited Wed Jan 26, 2022, 12:43 PM - Edit history (3)

of the book-text called the Bible. Nothing more, nothing less. And I concede my problem with the Bible has always been the agendas of men who pursued power and control over the masses.

If one has faith in their religion(s). That's all that's necessary. In my humble opinion. Interpretation has killed more human beings than I am comfortable with.

[Jilly_in_VA]

12. Translation issues

mean everything. Sorry you don't get it.

[llashram]

14. I'm sorry

you think you got it... refer to my first response. I'm not arguing with you.

[Jilly_in_VA]

15. And apparently

you think you do. Whatever.

[Hekate]

27. I get it. My daughter's first husband drove me crazy with his ignorance...

He went to a “Christian high school” and I think the principal must’ve waved a copy of the Bible over their heads and called it education. He kept initiating rants at me on the subject.

I’ll never forget the time he sounded me out to see if I was a Witch. I restrained myself from cackling in his face.

ALL translations have a point of view that depends on who did the translating and in what century.

Somewhere in our young adulthood I recall that some American mission group decided people needed something more accessible than King James — but rather than going to the trouble of gathering scholars, they just “translated” from King James English to colloquial late-20th century American, left out the boring bits, and in the process produced an abomination.

[mitch96]

23. "Bible has always been the agendas of men who pursued power and control over the masses"

Exactally.. A great marketing tool to corral the masses... Going back, there many versions of the bible and the powers that be picked and chose what they wanted... After all it was actually written by man. And we all know what happens to a story when we play telephone.
It changes
m

[Towlie]

6. Trying to embrace both the Bible AND our modern morality? Sorry, you can't have it both ways.

 
?

That writer is the one doing the eisegesis. It's better to just reject the Bible and embrace what you know is right, rather than try to reconcile the ancient writings of primitive, ignorant men with your modern, much more enlightened, awareness of what's right and what's wrong.

[dflprincess]

9. And when Jesus lost his temper

It was over the money changers in the Temple. There are a good many televangelists (and others) who should take heed.

[Jilly_in_VA]

13. Wouldn't you love

to see Jesus stomp into some Evangelical megachurch and start throwing tables around? I have that fantasy sometimes......

[dflprincess]

32. Especially if they were broadcasting when it happened!

[intheflow]

35. A Middle Eastern man overturning tables in a church

would result in a million Karens and Chads calling the cops and Jesus would likely die in a police interrogation room. Kind of like his crucifixion at the hands of the Roman state.

[mwooldri]

10. Ah them LGBTQIA "clobber passages".

I say "read the whole thing". Good example is Romans. Some people use Romans 1:24-28 as an anti-gay passage. Okay.... Read the whole thing: 1:18-32. What does it actually say? Or how about the whole darned thing - read all of Paul's letter to the Romans.

[IronLionZion]

16. You have to give lots of money to megachurches

and you will be rewarded with prosperity

COVID is the rapture. Lots of evangelicals were left behind.

[keithbvadu2]

18. Prosperity gospel

The "prosperity gospel" collectors seem to do much better in the prosperity than the investors/donors.

[burrowowl]

17. K&R

[DenaliDemocrat]

19. This is a very Catholic article

Catholics understand all of that, although some arguments (ordained women) is based upon Apostolic Tradition - none of the 12 were women, although a strong argument could be made that Mary Magdalene was not just a disciple but also an Apostle could be made. Catholics also understand that Jesus spoke n parables and thus do not believe in a literal translation

[Jilly_in_VA]

24. If you really dig into it

Greek translation and all, there were female deacons among the first Christians (this per my priest--Orthodox). Lydia, probably Priscilla, and others. As a female Methodist pastor once said to me, "What do they think Lydia and Priscilla and Dorcas and all them were doing, making coffee?"

[RevBrotherThomas]

26. In Roman Catholic churches, women are not permitted to preach the Gospel...

...which is reserved for ordained clergy.

However...

The FIRST person to preach the Gospel of the Risen Christ was Mary Magdalene, the Apostle to the Apostles.

Someone make it make sense.

[DenaliDemocrat]

36. It gets weird when you combine all Catholic and Orthodox rites

The Orthodox allow married priests but not Bishops. There are married Roman Catholic priests but they were Protestant ministers who were married and then converted, but seminarian cannot marry even though technically it’s allowed.

You should assume that your priest is gay, because like almost all of them are, yet the homophobia in the priesthood is rampant.

I never understood why Mary’s virginity must be perpetual, a priest once explained how she wasn’t REALLY a virgin in a biological sense, but rather a metaphysical one. I wish I remembered how he stated it, but it made sense. He was also a Jesuit - so you know…

The Orthodox are kind of racists and you can bet no Greek Orthodox is going into a Russian Orthodox Church.

The traditional Lutherans look an awful lot like Roman Catholics. The “new” Lutheran service is just a poorly disguised Christian Rock concert.

Some Anglicans are under their own Diocese that is actually part of the Roman Catholic Church now - BUT they still keep their Anglican liturgy.

Then we get into Calvinism which goes off the deep end with double pre-destination but still looks moderately sane compared to the evangelicals.

Evangelicals pretty much worship Trump.

Fuck it. I’m out!

[usaf-vet]

20. IMHO no matter what the printed words are on the page in the final analysis the meaning is the.....

..... readers alone. They alone translate the printed word.

[AllaN01Bear]

21. i thought this was going to be a athiest rant but i am glad i calmed down and read the nice list .

just like a lot of things arnt there in the constitution too also.

[twodogsbarking]

22. Who will save us from those who want to save us?

Anyone?

[Act_of_Reparation]

28. "There is nothing in the Bible that condemns us"

I mean... what???

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 are fairly explicit, and despite what few ambiguities are there, the two passages have long been interpreted by both Christians and Jews as complete and total prohibitions on same-sex sexual relations.

I don't know what the authors' goals are here. Have they not read the Bible? Or are they insisting passages that have historically justified inhumanity have been "misinterpreted"? It's hard to tell, seeing as they didn't think it particularly important to address these passages directly, and have instead just insisted that they don't exist.

[left-of-center2012]

29. There are also contradictions in the Bible

In one book of the New Testament Jesus, Mary and Joseph go home after Jesus' birth.
In another, they flee to Egypt.

There are two versions of 'God's creation' of Earth.
There are three versions of the Ten Commandments.

[jmowreader]

30. Number 2 is not quite correct

Leviticus 18 proscribes both same-sex relations and bestiality, and Leviticus 20 tells you to kill anyone you catch doing these things…which seems to be a convenient way to get rid of someone you don’t like - accuse someone of sleeping with another man and you could kill him with no repercussions.

Where it gets interesting: all the prohibited sex in Lev. 18 has one thing in common - it doesn’t produce healthy babies. I get two readings off this: the Levite elders understood genetics on a tactical level without knowing what genetics was, and the Levite general population was intensely oversexed, like bonobo-level oversexed.

[ShepKat]

33. technical heads up...

In the link that is provided, right after the words "that-aren't-in-your bible".... is a forward slash and question mark.
If you eliminate the question mark and everything to the right of it, THEN pass it on, where it came from can't follow where it went. I see in the stuff to be deleted, facebook will be able to follow where it gets posted.

I always delete that stuff.

[NanananaFatman]

37. The bibel is a moral horror show.

And Jesus was the worst of the atrocities. He advocated infinite punishment for thought crimes. That’s some fascist authoritarian shit right there.

[DLCWIdem]

39. Yes. The rapture theory comes from a theory on how to view the Bible called dispensationalism.

BTW , there is a neat cartoon put out by a Lutheran site which has the Lutheran point out that in the days of Noah it was the evil guys taken away not the good. Then the Lutheran disappears for about 5 seconds and the dispensationalist pees his pants, the Lutheran reappears and says "just kidding". Proving that even the religious guys can have a sense of humor.