Top 10 Conservative Idiots #12-1: America's Next Top Incarcerated Insurrectionist Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #12-1: America’s Next Top Incarcerated Insurrectionist Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yo what’s up Santa Ana? It’s good to be back home and ready to kick things off for 2022! Glad you guys are deciding to brave the Omicron variant to listen to my bullshit! But we’re glad to be back for season 12 and we have lots of fun things planned including the return of our long running Stupidest State contest! That’s right, the NFFSA is back in March for our annual kick off where we find the stupidest state in the country, and there’s a lot of competition for that title this year! So do we have time for the thing? Of course we do. I want to talk about one of my favorite movies of all time, Fight Club. You know that movie – a movie where a bunch of sexually frustrated white collar men take their frustrations out by beating the shit out of each other, then they decide to wreak havoc on the city? Yeah it does sound like the incel movement, doesn’t it? Well it’s back in the news because it got a rerelease in China with a much different ending than the one in the original flick. Can we show that?



Yeah that’s real! So in this one the bad guys lose and the authorities win! I mean come on, I could have written a better ending than that! That’s pretty much like the Simpsons where Poochie dies on the way back to his home planet. Just… wow. That was insane. And I’m sure that Chuck Palahniuk would not approve of this ending. This is laughably hilarious on multiple levels! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. but first Jordan Klepper of the Daily Show is back and he runs into Matt Gaetz while in Washington DC and well, utter hilarity ensues:

So where do we begin for this Top 10? Well, as always, in the first slot whenever the Top 10 is off for an extended period of time, we like to play Catch Up On Stuff We Missed (1) and whew there was a hell of a lot to choose from – including Marjorie Greene getting kicked off Twitter, Kanye seeking exile in Russia, and Q Anon accusing Trump of having a body double! Speaking of that guy, in the second slot is that Former Guy who used to sit in the White House (2) and this is quite insane – did his followers send out fake certification documents in an attempt to overturn the election? And did he know about it? Well this conspiracy is getting weirder and nuttier. In the third slot this week is the the reigning king of Florida Men, Ron De Santis (3) and his plans of interfering with public education to make things more comfortable for white people to learn about America without learning about America’s racist past might be coming to fruition! Yeah it’s insane. In the number 4 slot this week is Anti-Vaxxers (4) and we’re going to tell about the latest in the ongoing war to get vaccinated against COVID-19, which everyone should have done by now, but the anti-vax crowd seems keen on taking themselves out by the thousands every day. In the number 5 slot is our old buddy Boris Johnson (5). That’s right – we occasionally like to check in with our friends across the pond in the UK and it looks like PM Johnson might be on some extremely thin ice! Only a matter of time! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is taking a look at the war on religious exemption against vaccines, and we’re thinking of holing up in an underground bunker for a while. In the number 7 slot, speaking of vaccines, is a new edition of “This Fucking Guy” (7) and this week we’re going to profile tennis star (?) Novak Djokovic and his spectacular fall from the spotlight as he refused to get vaccinated in order to play in the Australian Open, and he’s every bit of a POS as you might imagine. Taking the number 8 seed this week, we have a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week we’re going to examine Charlie Kirk’s claim that there’s millions of people out there waiting to be “red pilled”, whatever that is. And in the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new People Are Dumb (9) because of course they are! Finally this week, in a new edition of Red State Diaries (10) we are going to take a look at some of the more insane cures for COVID coming from the right. And no, the Bible isn’t a substitute for actual medicine. Get vaccinated. Plus we have some live music for you from the legendary Tool! Yes, the current kings of progressive rock have stopped by our crappy little show! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
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We’ve been gone for six whole weeks. That is a long ass time. And whenever the Top 10 is gone for that length of time, we always like to play catch up on stuff we missed. Because conservative idiocy never takes a holiday. We do though! So what did we miss? I want to start with one of my favorite conspiracies over the last year which was our old crazy nana Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q – Batshit) and she’s still got some feelings. Remember last year when she went off on that conspiracy about Jewish Space Lasers that we all have seemed to forget about (see: Top 10 #10-2 ) ? Well she didn’t forget about it and actually has a sad about it. Aww… can we get poor downtrodden Marjorie a binkie and a blanket? It’s funny how the “fuck your feelings” crowd really has some feelings when they get their feelings hurt. Yeah we need the Sad Hulk Music for this one. And also we’ll over look the fact that Marjorie casually suggested a Second Amednment solution, or that her account got suspended from Twitter. What a piece of garbage this woman is.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) revealed that the phrase "Jewish space lasers" hurt her feelings after it was reported that she had complained about the idea.

The phrase "Jewish space lasers" became widely used by outlets last year after Media Matters found that Greene had blamed orbital lasers for wildfires in California. She claimed in a Facebook post that the lasers had been funded in part by the Rothschilds, a wealthy Jewish family.

During an interview with Mike Huckabee earlier this year, Greene reflected on the way she had been represented by the press.

"Terrible attacks, especially about silly things about something called 'Jewish space lasers,'" Greene said. "That was a term I had never used in my life but someone wrote an article and then they copied and pasted and put it all across the media."

"That really hurt my feelings," she added. "Because I'm a Christian and I would never say anything against any group of people, especially Israel. I would never do that."
https://www.rawstory.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-jewish-space-lasers-2656416649/

Yeah go to hell Marjorie, you’re a crazy kook and everyone knows it. And don’t worry, we haven’t forgot about the Spotify – Neil Young feud yet, we’ll save that for next week. Boy did we miss a lot. You know what else we missed? Our old buddy Ye (the artist formerly known as Kanye West) is back in the news and Ye is planning to join his buddy Steven Segal and move to Russia to expand his empire. That’s right – while the entire world is viewing Vladimir Putin as public enemy #1, Kanye wants to seek out an audience with Pooty and view him as his bestie. Awww… treason is so sweet isn’t it?

Kanye West is looking east — to Russia. The artist and entrepreneur, now known as Ye, is planning a trip to Moscow later this year to meet with President Vladimir Putin, hold Sunday Service performances as his first-ever shows in Russia and expand his business ventures into the country, his associate tells Billboard.

Travel plans are currently in the works for spring or summer, depending on Ye’s schedule, according to his confidant and strategic advisor Ameer Sudan, who’s helping to coordinate the arrangements with attorney Scott Balber. Balber is the managing partner of Herbert Smith Freehills’ New York office and is the law firm’s U.S. head of investigations and financial services litigation. Sudan says he and Balber are acting as liaisons between Ye and Balber’s clients Azerbaijani-Russian billionaire real estate developer Aras Agalarov and his son Emin Agalarov. Balber declined to comment. Ye’s personal and label reps also declined to comment.

Russia is going to be “a second home” for Ye, says Sudan: “He will be spending a lot of time out there.”

Aras Agalarov, a close associate of Putin and, as president of the Crocus Group, one of Russia’s leading developers, is sometimes referred to as the “Trump of Russia” because of how he often self-brands his buildings. He and his son and business partner, Emin Agalarov, worked with Donald Trump to bring the 2013 Miss Universe pageant to Moscow and were in discussions about a Trump Tower development project in the country that failed to materialize. Later, the Agalarovs helped coordinate the infamous 2016 Trump Tower meeting where senior members of Trump’s election campaign met with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya expecting to receive dirt on Hillary Clinton.
https://www.billboard.com/music/rb-hip-hop/kanye-ye-russia-putin-trip-sunday-service-1235017604/

Yeah keep telling yourself that. So what else did we miss? Remember those douchebags from the 2020 George Floyd protests that got inexplicably pardoned for waving their semi-automatics in front of the protestors and marchers? Yeah they were back in the news and I totally forgot about these people before I saw the headline. And you know there’s so many garbage people connected to the MAGA movement that it’s near impossible to keep track of them all. But yeah really, these are yet more people who can kindly go fuck themselves.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey, the couple who famously pointed guns at protesters passing their house in the summer of 2020, are suing to get their seized guns back after the pair was pardoned last year.

The lawsuit was filed by Mark McCloskey last year against the city, sheriff and state to get their guns back, and a hearing was held Wednesday, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

The couple agreed to forfeit the weapons as part of a guilty plea to the several misdemeanors they were charged with last June, weeks before they were pardoned by Republican Gov. Mike Parson.

Robert Dierker of the City Counselor's Office, which is representing the police and sheriff's departments, said in the hearing that it's rather unexpected that the guns have not yet been disposed of.

The City Counselor's Office is contending that while the pardon eliminated the conviction, it did not do so to the plea agreement in which McCloskey forfeited the guns. I'm not overly familiar with the ins and outs of gubernatorial pardons, so I'm curious if that's how it normally works.
https://www.newsweek.com/mccloskeys-who-waved-guns-protesters-ask-weapons-back-after-governors-pardon-1666156

Oh yeah the last thing I want to touch on that we missed happened during Christmas. Yeah while everyone was in holly jolly mode even with the Omicron variant lurking over us, this douchebag had the audacity to say “Let’s Go Brandon” (which is code for Trump supporters telling Biden to go fuck himself) right to Biden’s face on TV. And not only that, this guy turned out to be your typical conservative whiner who won’t stop telling people he was right. Yeah his 15 minutes are up.

An Oregon man who invoked a coded vulgar insult of President Biden during a Christmas Eve call-in event with the president and first lady is considering running for office and says he would welcome former president Donald Trump’s blessing.

“I want to pray about it, see what God has for me,” Jared Schmeck said of his political ambitions during an interview this week with conservative Christian broadcaster Todd Starnes that focused on his use of the phrase ‘Let’s go Brandon.”

“At the end of the day, I want [God’s] will for my life and the direction that it goes,” Schmeck added. “And I strongly believe that standing up is the right thing to do here as long as that message that I’m portraying is glorifying his name. And yeah, I’ll see where it goes.”

“Something tells me if you do run, you’ll be invited to a certain place in Florida,” Starnes said, referring to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club, where the former president now lives.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/jared-schmeck-political-office/2021/12/30/7c82a61a-6984-11ec-b0a7-13dd3af4f70f_story.html?utm_campaign=wp_main&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

The last thing I want to talk about this week is the Trump rally that was held in Arizona. You know what, I’ve had an ass full of covering Trump rallies. We all know he probably said some batshit crazy stuff about vaccines and how he thinks the election was stolen. But because he’s not saying what the conservative MAGA Q crowd wants to hear, they’re resorting to their own theories. And this might be one of my favorite theories they’ve come up with since they accused Lady Gaga of “spirit cooking”.

QAnon followers have whipped each other into a new frenzy, claiming Donald Trump was not at his rally in Arizona on Saturday, but that the person they saw was actually a "body doubly" or even John F. Kennedy in disguise.

Many QAnon followers descended on Florence on Saturday to get a glimpse of former President, himself a major figure in the conspiracy's bizarre mythos.

After Trump emerged to rapturous applause from his dedicated fanbase, the former President railed against Joe Biden's Presidency and once again made unfounded claims the 2020 Presidential Election was somehow stolen.

During the speech, however, many QAnon followers carefully examined Trump's appearance and leaped to the conclusion that the former president was not at the rally, but was either JFK or a body double.
https://www.newsweek.com/qanon-followers-believe-donald-trump-used-body-double-arizona-rally-1669936

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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We can all agree that Trump’s efforts to overturn the 2020 election have reached absolutely ridiculous proportions, right? We may never know what the hell they were planning to do if they succeeded in overthrowing the government on January 6th. But now that more of the pieces are coming into play thanks to the January 6th Commission, and this might be one of the most insane things that they attempted to try. You know the old saying – at first you don’t win the election, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again. Well that’s not really an old saying. But what is a saying is that our 45th president has some serious ‘splaining to do. So what’s the latest insanity that has come out of Trump’s Wiley Coyote style attempts to catch the Road Runner, er, overturn the 2020 election? There’s a story going around that he allegedly had his supporters forge fake electoral certificates to send to state election boards where Trump lost. But how deep does this conspiracy go? Unlike their conspiracies, ours are actually you know, based in reality.

Federal prosecutors are reviewing fake Electoral College certifications that declared former President Donald Trump the winner of states that he lost, Deputy Attorney General Lisa Monaco told CNN on Tuesday.

"We've received those referrals. Our prosecutors are looking at those and I can't say anything more on ongoing investigations," Monaco said in an exclusive interview.

The fake certificates falsely declaring Trump's victory were sent to the National Archives by Trump's allies in mid-December 2020. They have attracted public scrutiny amid the House's January 6 investigation into the pressure campaign that sought to reverse Trump's electoral defeat.

Monaco did not go into detail about what else prosecutors are looking at from the partisan attempt to subvert the 2020 vote count. She said that, more broadly, the Justice Department was "going to follow the facts and the law, wherever they lead, to address conduct of any kind and at any level that is part of an assault on our democracy."
https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/25/politics/fake-trump-electoral-certificates-justice-department/index.html

Yes holy shit indeed! Seriously Trump has gone about attempting to overturn the 2020 election in the same way Wiley Coyote is attempting to catch the Road Runner. Now let’s call this “Stolen Election 2020 Gate”. Nah that doesn’t have enough zing. All right! I like that one – “America’s Next Top Incarcerated Insurrectionist”. Which could actually be the head insurrectionist himself. I mean come on, we got Al Capone for tax evasion. We can get Trump for something way more than that. And it looks like he accidentally outed his crimes!

In the weeks after the 2020 election, then-President Donald Trump's allies sent fake certificates to the National Archives declaring that Trump won seven states that he actually lost. The documents had no impact on the outcome of the election, but they are yet another example of how Team Trump tried to subvert the Electoral College -- a key line of inquiry for the January 6 committee.

The fake certificates were created by Trump allies in Georgia, Arizona, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Nevada and New Mexico, who sought to replace valid presidential electors from their states with a pro-Trump slate, according to documents obtained by American Oversight.

The documents contain the signatures of Trump supporters who claimed to be the rightful electors from seven states that President Joe Biden won. But these rogue slates of electors didn't have the backing of any elected officials in the seven states -- like a governor or secretary of state, who are involved in certifying election results -- and they served no legitimate purpose.

The documents were first posted online in March by the government watchdog group. But they received renewed attention this week, as the January 6 committee ramps up its investigation into Trump's attempted coup, including how his allies tried to stop states from certifying Biden's victory, in part, by installing friendly slates of electors who would overturn the will of the voters.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/12/politics/trump-overturn-2020-election-fake-electoral-college/index.html

Yeah so that brings up two questions. 1 – what the hell were they planning to do on January 6th? And 2 – what were they planning to do if they actually succeeded in carrying out their evil plans? We’re going to be monitoring this story and everything associated with January 6th because it looks like the commission is about to lay the smack down. But this fake documentation certification thing is definitely going into some deep territory here, but how deep does it go? Thank you sir. There’s a guy yelling “that’s what she said”. It goes all the way to the *former* president!

Originally, the list was limited to one state. In December 2020, Wisconsin electors met for an official ceremony in which the state formally assigned its participants in the electoral college. But as we've discussed, while the actual electors were being assigned inside the state capitol in Madison, a group of Wisconsin Republicans quietly held a separate, fake ceremony — in the same capitol, at the same time — to cast electoral votes for Donald Trump, despite his defeat in the state.

They then proceeded to forge the official paperwork and sent it to, among others, the U.S. Senate and the U.S. Archivist, as if the materials were legitimate. They were not.

That was bizarre, but as it turns out, it was not unique.

This week, the list went from one to three, as Politico reported that the National Archives also received forged certificates of ascertainment from Republicans in Michigan and Arizona — two battleground states where President Joe Biden narrowly prevailed, but where groups of Republicans nevertheless created and submitted fraudulent election materials.
https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/after-2020-trump-backers-forged-election-docs-even-more-states-n1287365

Seriously this scheme to foil the election couldn’t be more hairbrained if he was using Acme Brand dynamite. I mean come on, even Wiley Coyote had more well thought out schemes to catch the Road Runner than Trump has of actually overturning the election. And in all seriousness, in the words of Frozen, you need to let it go, Trump, and admit that they lost. Remember the good old days when presidential candidates lost elections and didn’t spend a whole year on end whining about it? Ah those were good times! And just like Wiley Coyote, these hairbrained schemes will eventually come back to blow up in his face. Literally.

Pro-Trump groups in at least five states sent the government forged certificates of ascertainment declaring Trump the recipient of the state’s 2020 electors. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow reported on the falsified documents Tuesday night, noting that the fake certifications, which were obtained by watchdog group American Oversight, have “almost the exact same wording” to the real documents.

“They sent them into the government as if they were real documents,” Maddow said. “They actually created these fake documents purporting to be the real certifications of them as electors,” she added. “They all match, exactly. Same formatting, same font, same spacing, almost the exact same wording. All of them.”

Politico reported on Monday that Arizona and Michigan attempted to fool the National Archives by sending forged certificates of ascertainment declaring Trump the recipient of the state’s 2020 electors, and that the Jan. 6 committee now has those fake certificates, thanks to the secretaries of State for both swing states.

“They mostly discussed election administration in Arizona, the 2020 elections, threats/harassment directed toward the office, and the Cyber Ninja’s partisan ballot review,” a spokesperson for Hobbs told Politico, while a representative for Benson said the secretary of State discussed the election as well as the days before Jan. 6.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/pro-trump-groups-fake-letter-national-archives-1281966/

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[font size="8"]Ron DeSantis
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If you haven’t noticed by now, your MAGA friends and neighbors have taken their rage addiction to your nearest public schools. Because Fox News is going all in on something called “Critical Race Theory”, mainly because going full racist is the only way that conservatives can win elections anymore. Which is a very sad statement on American society in 2022. But one man in particular is going all in on going full racist, and that’s something that you should never do. I’m of course talking about Florida Man himself, Ron DeSantis. Yes, the governor who’s rightfully earned the nickname Death Sentence because of his “I don’t give a fuck about COVID” stance is also quite a racist. So ol’ Ronnie is out promoting something that he is calling the “Stop Woke Act” which basically means that he’s making it comfortable for white supremacists and the children of white supremacists to learn about American history but cutting out that part about America’s extremely racist past. Yeah he’s basically your racist uncle on Facebook but with the platform of being the governor of Florida.

A bill pushed by Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis that would prohibit public schools and private businesses from making white people feel “discomfort” when they teach students or train employees about discrimination in the nation’s past received its first approval Tuesday.

The Senate Education Committee approved the bill that takes aim at critical race theory — though it doesn’t mention it explicitly — on party lines, with Republicans in favor and Democrats opposed.

Democrats argued the bill isn’t needed, would lead to frivolous lawsuits and said it would amount to censorship in schools. They asked, without success, for real-life examples of teachers or businesses telling students or employees that they are racist because of their race.

“This bill’s not for Blacks. This bill was not for any other race. This was directed to make whites not feel bad about what happened years ago,” said state Sen. Shevrin Jones, who is Black. “At no point did anyone say white people should be held responsible for what happened, but what I would ask my white counterparts is, are you an enabler of what happened or are you going to say we must talk about history?”

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/critics-accuse-desantis-of-base-pandering-as-he-pushes-bill-to-shield-white-people-in-florida-from-discomfort-at-school-or-in-job-training-01642549233

Of course it is. And Ron DeSantis definitely isn’t helping things. But here’s the thing – if you’re straight, white, and racist, you’re OK under this new law. Everyone else can fuck off. Think of this as an anti-anti-discrimination law. Basically it’s OK to discriminate one race but if you question the straight white male’s point of view you could be in trouble! That means no more tearing down monuments or teaching about slavery. Yeah you boo now! And does he not realize his own idiotic laws would also directly affect straight white males?

A proposed law would “prevent all kinds of discrimination” at Florida public schools and workplaces, based on the principle that “all individuals are created equal” and that teachers should teach, not indoctrinate.

But despite the platitudes its sponsor used to describe Senate Bill 148 and House Bill 7, this is not an effort to stop real discrimination. The true intent of the legislation advancing in the Florida Senate is to provide state cover for students and employees offended by diversity training at private companies and by classroom lectures about racism, sexism and homophobia.

The plan is to subvert what we have historically considered as discrimination. And the way it’s happening is through a proposal aimed at protecting certain people — straight, white men, for the most part — whose sensitivities require shielding via state policing of what teachers and diversity trainers say.

Under the proposal, it’s possible that this group of people could claim discrimination if they feel uncomfortable during a discussion of, say, bias or racism. What an irony for a state government that often preaches against the dangers of big government and authoritarian regimes.
https://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/editorials/article257544908.html

Yeah probably! And in case you’re wondering if this had had any effect on what teachers and university professors can teach well… let’s just say that you can’t teach civil rights anymore while you’re majoring in civil rights! Yeah this is truly beyond stupid and it’s also a testament to how much Fox News rhetoric has seeped into our everyday lives. So the thing is if you go over Dark Ronnie’s helmet, don’t expect that you’ll be able to keep your job. The cult does not like being questioned!

A Florida school district canceled a professor’s civil rights history seminar for teachers, citing in part concerns over “critical race theory” — even though his lecture had nothing to do with the topic.

J. Michael Butler, a history professor at Flagler College in St. Augustine, was scheduled to give a presentation Saturday to Osceola County School District teachers called “The Long Civil Rights Movement,” which postulates that the civil rights movement preceded and post-dated Martin Luther King Jr. by decades.

He said that he was shocked to learn why the seminar had been canceled through an email Wednesday but that he wasn’t surprised because educators feel increasingly intimidated over teaching about race.

Less than 24 hours before Butler was informed of the cancellation, a state Senate committee advanced legislation Tuesday at the behest of Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis to block public schools and private businesses from making people feel “discomfort” when they’re taught about race. DeSantis also wants to empower parents to sue schools that teach critical race theory.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/florida-school-district-cancels-professors-civil-rights-lecture-critic-rcna13183

You don’t go over Dark Ronnie’s helmet! Now what did you learn? And in case you’re wondering if Florida is the only state out there stopping independent thought from taking place, look to Florida’s neighbors to the north in Virginia because newly elected governor Glenn Youngkin is obviously trying to score points with Fox News viewers. Well, it’s not exactly going over well as you might imagine, because they haven’t received any tips! So yeah Fox News once again fuels outrage over a problem that doesn’t really exist!

Virginia's newly elected Republican governor, who has banned critical race theory in public schools, is launching a tip line to report teachers of "divisive subjects."

In a Monday interview with the conservative radio host John Fredericks, Gov. Glenn Youngkin said parents could email the state government to report any public-school teachers they believed to be "behaving objectionably."

Youngkin said: "We're asking for folks to send us reports and observations that they have that will help us be aware of things like privilege bingo, be aware of their child being denied their rights that parents have in Virginia. And we're going to make sure we catalog it all.

"This gives us a great insight into what's happening at a school level, and that gives us further ability to make sure we're rooting it out."

Youngkin, the first Republican to win the state in more than 10 years, was sworn into office earlier this month.
https://www.businessinsider.com/glenn-youngkin-launches-tipline-report-teachers-2022-1

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[font size="8"]Anti-Vaccination Crusaders

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In the last year we’ve seen the anti-vaccination movement become a full blown death cult with anti-vaxxers who are dropping like flies because they’ve refused to take the vaccine. Which is only proving *OUR* point that not taking the vaccine is dangerous. And not only that but the misinformation out there is proving to be as deadly if not more so than the actual virus itself. But before I get into the highlights from last week’s criminally insane rally in Washington, DC, I want to point out just how insane the anti-vaccination movement really is. Last year, Rolling Stone pointed out that conspiracy theorists took the proverbial “red pill” and went down the wormhole on anti-vaccines. This is mainly of course thanks to draconian stay at home measures which forced everyone to stay home in order to combat COVID and the ridiculous amount of collective boredom that we all faced. Well guess what? Thanks to that collective boredom, this movement is actually gaining steam! That’s right – the red pill vaccine truthers are taking their movement to strange new heights. And they’ve got some big name backers attracted to their cause. Before you boo, just wait until you see who’s behind it.

When thousands of protesters gathered on the National Mall on Sunday morning to protest Covid vaccine mandates, they did so, they insisted, to preserve personal freedoms. “No more mandates!” they shouted as they marched, serpentine and coiled, like the snakes on the “Don’t Tread On Me” flags hoisted above their heads. “This is not about vaccine or anti-vax,” JP Sears, a comedian known for spreading conspiracy theories through sarcastic comedy, told the crowd. It was, he asserted, as Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.”

But it was, very much, about vaccines. Children’s Health Defense Fund, the political wing of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s anti-vax organization, hosted the event. Kennedy, who has been vocally spreading false claims about vaccine safety for decades, addressed the crowd to offer unsubstantiated warnings of the Covid-19 vaccines’ dangers. So did several doctors, wearing their physician whites, who also touted ivermectin to prevent Covid (it won’t) and rehashed long-debunked studies suggesting vaccines cause autism (it doesn’t). Just days after the CDC released its first study showing vaccine boosters help protect patients against hospitalization from Omicron, Dr. Robert Malone, a virologist and well-known vaccine skeptic, falsely told the crowd: “The science is settled: they’re not working.”

The rhetoric took an extremist turn as the speakers addressed the group. Kennedy called the mandates “a coup d’etat to democracy” and compared vaccine passports to slavery. “Even in Hitler’s Germany, you could hide,” Kennedy said, referring to Anne Frank’s ultimately unsuccessful flight from the Nazis. Del Bigtree, a prominent anti-vax podcaster who spoke at the rally, invoked the Nuremberg trials to threaten Dr. Anthony Fauci and the press — a sentiment also made clear on many of the signs in the crowd.
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/anti-vaccine-rfk-jr-rally-washington-dc-1289458/

Robert Kennedy???? Tell me you’re not really Alex Jones in disguise! But yeah do these anti-vaccine idiots not realize how insanely offensive those holocaust comparisons are? Of course they don’t, and it’s like Lewis Black once said that it’s like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler! But it’s scary that the movement is gaining steam, thanks to a heavily virulent virus variant and some extreme boredom brought on by said variant. But really those who are comparing the vaccine mandates to Nazi Germany can kindly go eat the most rancid bags of shit.

Covid-19 vaccine mandate opponents gathered today for a march in Washington, DC in an event organisers called “Defeat the Mandates: An American Homecoming”.

Among those marching are firefighters, teachers, first responders, and other groups, who congregated on the National Mall from 10.30am local time. At 11.30am they began walking from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial.

Speeches included remarks from anti-vaccine activist Robert F Kennedy Jr, controversial doctor Robert Malone, and TV producer Del Bigtree, CEO of the anti-vaccination group Informed Consent Action Network.

Mr Kennedy’s comparison of vaccines to the Holocaust caused outrage online with the Auschwitz Memorial labelling such exploitative language as “a sad symptom of moral and intellectual decay”. Mr Bigtree’s rhetoric promising a Nuremberg trial for medical professionals and the press received a similar backlash from a survivor of The Capitol Gazette attack.

The event was billed as a gathering of those who oppose vaccine mandates, vaccines for children, and other pandemic requirements and restrictions, but most of the speakers are prominently against the vaccine itself.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/anti-vaccine-mandate-rally-live-washington-b1998969.html

Yeah that gets the mega facepalm because there’s nothing else that can accurately describe the sheer stupidity of this rally. Between this and Kid Rock’s new song we’re dangerously treading into “Old Man Yells At Cloud” territory. Look, we get it – the pandemic sucks. The quarantines have gone on too long and we’re tired and angry and pissed off at each other. But what you should really be mad at is yourselves, anti-vaxxers. Because you’re the ones keeping this thing going when you could just take the jab and shut the fuck up for a few weeks. But you don’t. And you’re loud and angry.

Thousands of people chanted “no more mandate” while marching in D.C. Sunday afternoon in protest of COVID-19 vaccine mandates and vaccine passports.

The Children’s Health Defense, a group sponsoring the “Defeat the Mandates” event, said they expected 20,000 people to participate in the mile-long march.

Protest organizers said mandates are un-American and called for an end to mass firings, “segregating” and calling Americans unpatriotic over vaccine status on the event’s website.

The website puts an emphasis on advocating for protecting freedom and both vaccinated and unvaccinated people marching in “peace.”
Sunday’s events

Protesters began marching at 11:30 a.m. from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial. The event website encourages those marching to stop at the war memorials on the route to “remember those who have sacrificed lives and loved ones so that America might be free.”

At noon, a variety of people gave speeches or performed including some in the entertainment industry, athletes, doctors and journalists.
https://wtop.com/dc/2022/01/thousands-march-in-d-c-against-covid-19-vaccine-mandates/

Look we get it – everything truly sucks right now! We’re at that stage of the pandemic where everyone is pissed off and unhappy. We’re not seeing the results we want. There’s a variant that’s raging out of control. But you know what would end this whole thing? If you got the damn vaccine! Excuse me a minute while I go bang my head on the desk for a minute. OK I feel better. Before I pass out, how do actual holocaust victims feel about the sheer insanity and stupidity floating about on social media right now? Well let’s say don’t bring it up or you will look stupid.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has apologized for controversial comments he made invoking the name of Anne Frank at an anti-vaccine mandate rally in Washington, D.C., on Sunday that sparked backlash from Jewish groups.

“I apologize for my reference to Anne Frank, especially to families that suffered the Holocaust horrors,” Kennedy wrote on Twitter on Tuesday.

He said he meant to utilize “examples of past barbarism” to illustrate “the perils from new technologies of control.”

“To the extent my remarks caused hurt, I am truly and deeply sorry,” he added.

Kennedy spoke at an anti-vaccine mandate rally at the Lincoln Memorial on Sunday. During his remarks, he appeared to suggest that unvaccinated Americans had harder lives than Anne, the teenager who hid from the Nazis in a Dutch attic for roughly two years before being caught and sent to a concentration camp, where she died.
https://www.newsnationnow.com/politics/rfk-jr-apologizes-for-anne-frank-comments-at-anti-vaccine-mandate-rally/

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[font size="8"]Boris Johnson
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We here at the Top 10 occasionally like to check in with our friends across the pond in the UK because they are experiencing their own share of right wing crazies. You know our motto here at the Top 10 is that conservative idiocy isn’t just a uniquely American problem. No it’s a global problem that is affecting the entire world. And the crazies across the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans are just as bad if not worse than the ones we have here in the States. And that is saying a lot. First they had the Brexit disaster (and it still continues to be a disaster) and then they have one of the world’s worst leaders in prime minister Boris Johnson. Well it turns out that the conservative Tory party in the UK is in some deep shit and it’s about to get worse for them. Which is actually a good thing, because Boris was elected to help force a decisive plan on Brexit and so far hasn’t delivered on that, then COVID hit like a 10 ton sack of bricks. But here’s how unpopular Johnson is – the Brits have declared him one of the worst prime ministers since Theresa May and that’s saying a lot! But that’s exactly how unpopular Johnson is right now. And well here’s more.

Today’s Opinium poll for the Observer is grim reading for Boris Johnson and his party. Johnson’s personal approvals fall below the worst figures ever recorded by Theresa May; and his party sinks to its worst vote share since the general election, 10 points behind Labour. Majorities of practically every political and demographic group believe Johnson and his colleagues have broken the rules and lied about it, and say Johnson should resign.

Until recently, the wobbly wing of the Conservative coalition looked to be better off Remainers in the South of England. Yet today’s poll adds to growing evidence that the “partygate” scandal is jeopardising the party’s support from “red wall” Leavers too. Such voters have long felt disaffected from and distrustful of a political class they felt ignored their concerns and lived by its own rules. The resentments once mobilised against the EU by the promise to “Take Back Control” now have a new target – an out of touch Downing Street team who partied while the Queen mourned.

Johnson himself has shifted from the party’s biggest asset, with a Brexit-fuelled appeal separate to the Conservative brand to its biggest liability, as the revelations of Downing Street revelry in lockdown render him personally toxic with the same voters. The Conservatives may now be damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Sticking with Johnson risks further contaminating the party brand if the scandals continue and voter fury intensifies. Party veterans with memories of the 1990s will recall how hard renewal can become once their party is toxic. Yet replacing Johnson brings its own risks, as none of the front runners for the succession looks likely to replicate his unique appeal with voters otherwise suspicious of the Conservatives.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/jan/15/boris-johnson-now-less-popular-than-theresa-may-as-polls-show-tories-dire-predicament

And that’s putting it lightly! So the reason why Johnson is so unpopular is because during the draconian UK lockdowns, he went and partied on Downing Street. That’s right – we were all suffering from the initial stages of COVID and the strict lockdowns that were imposed worldwide. And now of course the entire world is in the “fuck it” stage of the pandemic. But in the early days of the pandemic, this was a huge problem and Johnson is probably now going to pay the price for it. Remember when people compared Trump to Nero? Well, Boris Johnson isn’t that far off.

A little over a month ago, the prime minister told the House of Commons that he shared the anger of a nation at seeing a video of his Number 10 staff making light of lockdown measures and joking about Christmas parties. We were supposed to believe that a culture of impunity and disregard for rules at the heart of government had absolutely nothing to do with Boris Johnson; that he was as shocked by the hypocrisy as the rest of us. It was always a ludicrous contention that the prime minister had no idea what was going on in his own office, part of the same complex as his own residence. And in the last week the full extent of the sheer gall of a leader prepared to throw his staff under a bus to evade accountability for the worst sort of political hypocrisy has been exposed.
Scottish Conservatives are furious, and in no mood to be rebuked from London
Read more

Revelation after revelation has emerged since the start of the year – as Johnson must have known they inevitably would – that rubbishes that statement he made to MPs last month. We now know that in May 2020, Johnson was giving a speech at a social gathering, with drink and food, in the Downing Street garden the very same evening ministers were warning the public at a press conference that they could only meet one other person outside. That his staff were throwing not one, but two, raucous parties that reportedly left items in the garden damaged the night before Prince Philip’s funeral. And that Downing Street staff regularly held drinks parties on Fridays that Johnson would often drop into, giving them the prime ministerial seal of approval.

The Observer has long believed Johnson to be a man of little integrity, but even so, it is hard not to be shocked at the level of contempt in which he so clearly holds parliament and the public. Imagine the consequences if he had misled a court under oath in this way. But to him, it is just the Commons, just the way he approaches politics and every other aspect of his professional life.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/15/the-observer-view-on-boris-johnson-contempt-for-the-truth

Yeah everyone will remember how much 2020 sucked, and while we were all couped up at home staring at our computer monitors waiting for the cue when we could go outside again, Johnson partied with his Downing Street buddies and supporters. Now my audience, I have a question for you – Boris Johnson is so unpopular… HOW UNPOPULAR IS HE???? Well he’s currently in the running for one of the most unpopular PMs of all time! I wish I had something funnier for that but I really don’t. Although I do enjoy the schadenfreude!

A third of Tory members think the prime minister should stand down

Prime minister Boris Johnson has spent the last month mired in controversy – the alleged rule-breaking Christmas parties, the investigation into the financing of refurbishing Downing Street and record coronavirus cases – and has seen his favourability with the British public drop to an all-time low.

A new YouGov / Sky News survey reveals that a third (34%) of Conservative party members think Johnson should stand down as leader and let someone else take over, and that a similar number think he has been doing a bad job as prime minister (38%).

While times have been tough for the prime minister, these figures are not as bad as those his predecessor Theresa May faced in May 2019, just weeks before she was forced to step down. At that point 79% of her party members thought she was doing a bad job and an equal number thought she should resign.

Currently most Tory members think Johnson has been doing a good job as PM (61%), and want him to remain leader of the party (59%). This is, however, a far cry from July 2020, when 85% thought he was doing well as prime minister and 89% wanted to keep him as leader.
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/politics/articles-reports/2022/01/10/does-boris-johnson-still-have-support-conservative

Holy shit! Boris Johnson has an unpopular approval rating in his own party! I mean come on even the Brits know an unpopular leader when they elect one. So who could replace Mr. Johnson in the next election? Well the Labours are currently ahead by the very slimmest of margins and we’ll definitely keep an eye on this race to see how it pans out. So does Partygate have some legs to it or not? Well it’s definitely gaining some steam and we could see the tide turn in the UK. Time to put a stop to terrible leaders getting elected already!

The Labour prime minister Harold Wilson coined the phrase “a week is a long time in politics”, something that has certainly been confirmed by recent events. Up until very recently, it looked like Boris Johnson was unlikely to be ousted from Number 10 any time soon, largely because the Conservatives were not that far behind in the polls. But the leadership problem in the Conservative party has now morphed into something much more serious. It has become a constitutional crisis as well as a political crisis for the prime minister.

Johnson was forced to apologise to parliament on January 12 when he could no longer deny the clear evidence that his staff had gathered in a large group in the garden of 10 Downing Street while the UK was in strict lockdown.

There are two aspects to the constitutional crisis. The first is the matter of lying in parliament. The prime minister claims that the May gathering was a “work event” and therefore could be said to “technically fall within the guidance” of the time. Many will have greeted this assertion with significant scepticism – particularly anyone who faced criminal charges for meeting others outside during the period in question. Back then, people were only allowed to mix with one other person outside their household when meeting outdoors. In-person work meetings were only allowed when “absolutely necessary”.
https://theconversation.com/is-the-party-over-for-boris-johnson-this-polling-detail-suggests-it-could-be-174818

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit: The War For Religious Exemption
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated. And first off I want to say Happy New Year! It is our first Holy Shit of 2022, after all! And as your pastor, I am very excited for the year ahead, may it certainly be better than the last two! But even though we are in a new year and we have new things to look forward to, I don’t need to remind anyone that we are still in the middle of an out of control raging pandemic that’s still wreaking havoc on most of the world. And you know what you should to do to combat this deadly virus that’s sweeping the globe? Get vaccinated! I cannot stress that enough. And that’s what I am here to talk about today. Because it seems our brothers and sisters on the right just don’t get it. The vaccine is free and it will save your life. You know what won’t save your life? Getting a “religious exemption certificate” from a really shady source. And there’s a lot of that shit going around lately. The more religious and devout someone is, the more likely they are to shun logic and reason for scammers, hucksters, and con artists. And they fall for it every single time. So what’s the latest scam plaguing the religious right? Well here’s more!

An actor on an American soap opera recently sought to sidestep a COVID-19 vaccination mandate by doing something fairly common: requesting a religious exemption. Less common was the way his employment was killed off in a dramatic tunnel collapse after the request was denied.

Applications for religious exemptions are on the rise, amid new mandates designed to check the Omicron variant and contain the pandemic. New York City has unveiled plans for a COVID-19 vaccine mandate for all private employers, Greece has a mandate lined up for people over 60, and South Africa is considering its own versions.

Employers and schools may struggle to discern the requests for religious exemptions from mandates like these that are genuinely sincere – and puzzle over how to respect an applicant’s beliefs while also preventing the harm they may inflict on others. Some places simply decided this isn’t possible, and stopped making faith-based dispensations.

Research overwhelmingly indicates that getting vaccinated is the best way to stem the spread of the coronavirus. Most religious leaders are framing their messaging accordingly.
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/12/covid-19-vaccines-what-role-should-religion-play/

Now here’s the problem that I have with that. If there were legitimate sources where one could possibly obtain a religious exemption card, that would be one thing. But this here is America, and the religious right doesn’t play by the rules. And that’s something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS wouldn’t want now is it? Because the Good Book says that you shall not lie. Which I believe is one of the original 10 commandments, isn’t it? Because here’s the latest insanity coming from the religious right – they are using chiropractors to get around religious exemption laws!

As some schools and workplaces are once again requiring masks, there are certainly medical circumstances that can exempt you from wearing one, and that’s what one Cass County chiropractor is offering.

Dr. Kyle McKamey with Down To Earth Chiropractic in Dowagiac wrote on the business’s Facebook page Aug. 18, “As a doctor of chiropractic, I have the same authority as any Michigan DO or MD when it comes to providing patients with letters of exemption from mask and vaccine mandates made by an employer or school system.”

ABC57 has yet to hear back from the Van Buren-Cass District Health Department on if this is something they would accept, but in the Berrien County Health Department’s release announcing the mandate for masks in K-12 schools Wednesday, they said medical exemptions can only come from someone with a DO or MD.

Cass County does not have a mask mandate right now and they are not required in Dowagiac, Marcellus or Cassopolis school districts.
https://www.abc57.com/news/dowagiac-chiropractor-offers-to-write-mask-vaccine-exemptions-for-patients

Now here’s where things get complicated and weird. What exactly counts as a “religious exemption”? It is not something that you can easily get away with. So all those people going to chiropractors attempting to get these cards? They’re not exactly going to have an easy time using them. Again, the vaccine is free, and it’s something that the Good LAWRD JAYSUS would want you to have! It will save your life! What won’t save your life? Having a phony religious exemption card. It will get you into trouble and if you catch the virus, you’re more likely to end up in the hospital or die!

For Americans wary of COVID-19 vaccine mandates, like the sweeping requirements President Joe Biden announced Sept. 9, 2021, it seems there are plenty of leaders offering ways to get exemptions – especially religious ones.

No major organized religious group has officially discouraged the vaccine, and many, like the Catholic Church, have explicitly encouraged them. Yet pastors from New York to California have offered letters to help their parishioners - or sometimes anyone who asks – avoid the shots.

These developments point to deep confusion over how to win a religious exemption. So what are they, and is the government even required to offer the exemptions in the first place?

Many schools, businesses and governments requiring vaccination have offered religious exemptions. Some are loath to challenge people’s claims that getting the shot goes against their beliefs for fear of being sued, but organizations have come up with a variety of ways to assess claimants’ sincerity.
https://theconversation.com/whats-the-law-on-vaccine-exemptions-a-religious-liberty-expert-explains-166934

Now by the way in case you’re wondering where this idea came from, well it’s pretty much the religious equivalent of “you need a doctor’s note to be exempt”. And that’s where it gets tricky. But then again the religious right’s reasons for what qualifies as a doctor are sketchy at best. Now what’s alarming is just how many people are attempting to claim a religious exemption or say that it conflicts with their religious beliefs. And these statistics will absolutely shock you. But to us, they aren’t really that shocking at all.

Only 10% of Americans believe that getting a COVID-19 vaccine conflicts with their religious beliefs, and 59% of Americans say too many people are using religious beliefs as an excuse not to get vaccinated, a new survey from the Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) and the Interfaith Youth Core (IFYC) shows.

A majority of Americans, 60%, also say there is no valid religious reason to refuse a COVID-19 vaccine – but the number changes when it comes to white evangelicals. While a majority of every other major religious group says their faith doesn't include a valid reason to refuse the vaccine, just 41% of white evangelicals believe the same.

The findings in the survey – the largest one to track the intersection of the pandemic and religious beliefs — could be crucial to understanding how to encourage more people in the U.S. to be vaccinated, especially as vaccines become more available to children. PRRI CEO and founder Robert Jones says in a statement that the results show that many Americans believe religious liberty is not an "absolute" and that there should be a balance when it comes to the health of communities.
There is still a divide over religious exemptions from the vaccine

Whether religious exemptions from the COVID-19 vaccine should be allowed resulted in a more divided array of answers. Just 39% of Americans support a blanket religious exemption excuse, meaning that anyone who says the vaccine is against their faith doesn't have to get it.
https://www.npr.org/2021/12/09/1062655300/survey-religion-vaccine-hesitancy-exemptions

So the next time you are in a room with someone who claims to have a “religious exemption”, run! If you put enough of these idiots in a room, you will eventually have fewer of them! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Novak Djokovic

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This week’s This Fucking Guy is tennis star Novak Djvokovic. Or wait, I should say: disgraced tennis star who got kicked out of the Australian Open, Novak Djvokovic. There, my producer wasn’t going to let me get away without saying that. So why is he a disgraced tennis star? Well, there is still that thing going on called the COVID-19 pandemic, which most of seem to have forgotten about. And Australia is a country that went from attempting to contain the virus with zero cases to “ah, fuck it”. Which we have clearly seen with this latest wave. And this fucking guy Novak Djvokovic is clearly caught in the middle of anti-vaxxer insanity. And corporations and advertisers – which employ him when he’s not playing tennis – are seeming to take notice about what’s going on. And you think employing someone who’s vehemently anti-vaccine might be bad for business? Well guess that varies on a sponsor to sponsor basis because some are apparently OK with this sort of thing.

Watch maker Hublot, a sponsor of Novak Djokovic, believes getting vaccinated is a personal choice, the Swiss luxury group told Reuters in its first comment since the world men's tennis No. 1 was expelled from Australia this month.

The Serbian player, who is not vaccinated against COVID-19, was deported on Jan. 16 ahead of the Australian Open after a federal court dismissed his appeal to stay in the country and play the tournament.

Hublot CEO Ricardo Guadalupe said the brand, owned by French luxury conglomerate LVMH, was waiting to hear from Djokovic about his experience.

"We are waiting to see what his position is with regard to all that he went through," he said in an interview.

"The principle of vaccines is that it's something private. We value personal freedom. Everyone can decide. One can be in favour or against. That's our position."

Such sensitive issues raise a dilemma for sponsors who must strike a balance between respecting an athlete's personal freedom and keeping in step with the public mood.
https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/djokovic-sponsor-hublot-says-vaccine-094215879.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAACUQ131MT_dcPo_8iu_hM1Y7GwerkyPMAJRuvASRZkCl-8X8hraiOTQT5g1SW85eI7E7ZyKpTx8TprSirbuaCiZIX3mL-7sM_zihqG5IHehj-jI3JeRStaqL_PQ3pEM8B-lAf01Cb9ZRRInXK5Ot9-O2UHVvHt0YhXaIM31spD2_

Yeah I’m OK with boycotting a maker of expensive watches nobody can ever afford, because I’ll never be able to afford them. But here’s the question – when someone as toxic and undesirable as Novak Djvokovic makes his opinions known and it’s the wrong one, what do you do? Oh and before you accuse me of being a Nazi, anti-vaxxers can kindly fuck right off, and they aren’t welcome in my audience, so there. Neener neener. So how do the other sponsors feel about his toxic politics? Well let’s ask them, shall we?

Raiffeisen Bank International said in a statement to Forbes that the Austria-based bank would continue to sponsor Djokovic: “This [sponsorship] decision by RBI was made long before the current reporting on Novak Djokovic and his Covid-19 vaccination status, or his participation in the Australian Open.”

Swiss watchmaker Hublot similarly stuck by Djokovic, telling the Associated Press Friday: “Novak Djokovic is his own person. We cannot comment on any of his personal decisions. Hublot will continue its partnership with the world number 1 tennis player.”

French clothing company Lacoste is Djokovic’s only sponsor to cast doubt on its partnership with the athlete, as a Lacoste spokesperson said Monday the company will contact Djokovic and “review the events that have accompanied his presence in Australia,” according to CNN.

Djokovic’s other sponsors—Asics, Head, Lemero, NetJets, Peugeot and Ultimate Software Group—did not respond to Forbes’ request for comment or comment publicly on the matter as of Tuesday.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/dereksaul/2022/01/18/djokovics-sponsors-stick-by-him-or-stay-silent-as-he-stands-to-lose-up-to-8-million-from-missing-grand-slams/?sh=75a6244c584d

Yeah so it’s about 50/50 and even that’s still too high. Now how is this saga of the stupid playing out with the organizers of the Australian Open? Well, you might say they’re not cool with it, which is good, because we’re not cool with it either. Again, anti-vaxxers can kindly go fuck themselves. Was it handled poorly? Hell no. In fact Novak should have had his ass handed to him multiple times over by now especially with this new variant that’s been wrecking so much havoc across the globe.

Australian Open chief Craig Tiley said the Novak Djokovic saga will not define the 2022 tournament but that he regrets how the volatile situation took the focus off the Grand Slam and players leading up to the Melbourne Park major.

Djokovic, 34, was deported from Australia after an 11-day rollercoaster involving two visa cancellations, two court challenges and five nights in two stints at an immigration detention hotel where asylum seekers are held.

Tennis Australia CEO Tiley, also tournament director of the year's first major, came under fire after Djokovic, who was not vaccinated for COVID-19, was told he could play at the Australian Open with a medical exemption.

The decision to grant nine-times champion Djokovic entry outraged many in Australia, which is battling its worst surge of infections and where the adult vaccination rate is more than 90%.

The controversy completely overshadowed the build-up to the tournament but Tiley said his team deserved credit for managing to bring in over 3,500 participants from overseas amid the highly infectious Omicron variant.
https://www.espn.com/tennis/story/_/id/33143724/novak-djokovic-saga-not-define-australian-open-says-craig-tiley

So now that he’s been kicked out of the Australian Open and deported from Australia due to his apparent recklessness and disregard for humanity, where’s he going to go? Well there’s the French Open coming up. Guess he could go there, right? Wrong! Because, and this is my favorite part of this whole thing – the French Open rules prevent him from participating because he’s such a rabid anti-vaxxer. The moral of the story, folks? Get vaxxed or get sacked!

It's another day of bad news for Novak Djokovic. The No. 1-ranked men's singles player might not be allowed to play at the French Open, the next Grand Slam on the schedule, because of his vaccination status.

Djokovic lost his appeal on Sunday to play in the Australian Open, closing a nearly two-week long saga over his unvaccinated status and attempt to enter the country with a visa and exemption. It is the first Grand Slam on the calendar as he chases a 21st Grand Slam victory that would break a tie with Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal for most men's titles of all-time.

Also on Sunday, the French parliament overwhelmingly approved a law requiring vaccination for anyone at restaurants, sports arenas and other venues. Previously unvaccinated persons were allowed to enter with a valid negative test. That incudes the French Open and the French Sports Ministry confirmed on Monday there would be no exemptions.
French Open up in air for Djokovic

The French Sports Ministry confirmed there would be no exemptions to Reuters, but said the overall situation might change before the draw in May.
https://sports.yahoo.com/novak-djokovic-cant-play-at-french-open-unless-vaccinated-french-sports-ministry-says-183956146.html

But of course as you can guess, France did their part and changed the rules to avoid an uproar. The bad guys win again. That’s rabid anti-vaxxer and tennis star who can’t play tennis, Novak Djokovic, this week’s:




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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment where we attempt to explain the unexplainable – Conspiracy Corner! Yes welcome back to our underground doomsday shelter for the first time in 2022! That’s right, it’s the year 2022 and the world hasn’t ended yet, though we all thought it would by now! We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter deep in the heart of the New Mexico badlands, undisclosed location of course! How did you get here? that in and of itself is a conspiracy, for you see, we are everywhere! Just let me adjust my tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! So what’s on the table this week? Well this week, we have to talk about The Matrix. Yes, you know that movie from 1999 starring Keanu Reeves, written by two trans sisters and the movie is basically a metaphor for transitioning. But of course the idea of metaphorical writing is lost on those who believe that JFK Jr survived his plane crash and is going to out Trump’s political opponents as Deep State operatives. But why do conservatives love the Matrix? Well let’s ask them shall we?

The Matrix is among the most influential science fiction films of all time. Nearly 20 years since the third film in the series premiered, a fourth chapter, The Matrix Resurrections, was released in December to great excitement.

But one of The Matrix’s most enduring cultural contributions has been to conspiracy theories. Motifs from the film have been adopted by online groups to reinforce their messages, which are often hateful and violent. Incels, or involuntary celibates, are particularly engaged with Matrix-style “philosophy”. A mass shooter in the UK, for example, was found, after his death, to have been using Matrix imagery in online discussion forums before committing his crimes.

The problem is so widespread that the new Matrix film is being taken by some as a rejection of the trend. Ahead of the film’s release, two of its writers described themselves as approaching the movie with the intent of reclaiming the “red pill” trope from its hijackers.
Red pill, blue pill

The idea of the red pill is a key example. In the original Matrix, the protagonist is invited to choose between a red and blue pill. The red reveals the world for what it truly is; an artificial construct of machines which have enslaved humanity. The blue allows the protagonist to remain in a comfortable delusion; spared from facing the horrors beyond. This cultural motif is now a cornerstone of conspiratorial thinking.
https://theconversation.com/the-matrix-how-conspiracy-theorists-hijacked-the-red-pill-philosophy-174935

But that said the Red Pill Truther movement is just another movement in the GOP’s long list of tricks used to divide and conquer. But just how many people are willing to participate in this colossally huge metaphor? Well leave it to our friends at TP USA to take advantage of the downtrodden and disillusioned because there’s apparently a whole lot of those out there. And we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface, folks! The truth is out there!

Christian nationalist pastor Rob McCoy hosted a “Freedom Night In America’” event Tuesday night at his Godspeak Calvary Chapel church in Newbury Park, California, featuring Turning Point USA’s Charlie Kirk. McCoy has played a significant role in the once-secular activist Kirk’s embrace of Christian nationalism and his launch of the “lavishly funded” Turning Point Faith.

The event consisted entirely of McCoy and Kirk sitting on stage while Kirk rambled endlessly for an hour and a half about a variety of topics, including his belief that the current political and social environment is creating an “existential crisis” for millions of people, making them susceptible to “taking the red pill” and becoming Christians and conservatives.

“I kid you not, there is a moment that can happen where people have an existential crisis, and it’s happening right now in America,” Kirk declared. “This is not a joke. It’s a serious psychological problem. It is where millions of people right now who have been three times boosted, double mask-wearing, done everything they said they’re going to do, they still get the [COVID-19] virus, and they are asking themselves, basically, ‘Where is my place in the universe? I thought that if I followed the instructions of the Leviathan, I would get something in return.'”

“We need to be there for those people,” he continued. “I mean that non-sarcastically. [We need to] slowly show them that there is a whole world out here of the laws of nature, and there is the Gospel, and there is a God, and [Dr. Anthony] Fauci is not that person. You’re seeing that, and it’s best manifested in the collective kind of freak out of every person on cable television. They don’t know what to do, and that’s also because they’ve used their tyranny of you and their bullying of you as this kind of open-air kind of therapy exercise because they have such unsettled problems in their own soul that they’d rather torture you than actually go find salvation themselves. I’m not kidding. It really is that dark. It is.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/charlie-kirk-says-millions-of-americans-are-having-an-existential-crisis-and-susceptible-to-taking-the-red-pill/

OK that’s pretty bad ass. But the reason why the Red Pill is coming back into the news is because of the Matrix Revolutions, but there’s not a whole lot of people who really understand its’ true meaning, and Charlie Kirk definitely is not one of those people. And with that, let’s actually take the red pill and go down the rabbit hole and see just what the meaning of this phrase is, and how ridiculous conservatives sound when they say it and don’t realize the true meaning of this metaphor.

In May 2020, Elon Musk tweeted “Take the red pill.” It was unclear precisely what he meant, but those with enough cultural context had a decent idea of what he was trying to say. That hunch was then affirmed by the enthusiastic response of Ivanka Trump, whose father became president at least in some minor part because of forces associated with the symbol that Musk was evoking. She quote-tweeted him cheerily: “Taken!” she said.

Less than an hour later, Lilly Wachowski chimed in. One of the two directors responsible for The Matrix—the film in which the modern concept of the “red pill” originated—Wachowski didn’t appear very pleased with these people, neither in general nor in regard to how they were continuing the strange legacy of her metaphor. “Fuck both of you,” she replied to Trump. The way they were tossing her symbol around was likely a lot different from what she and her sister, Lana, had in mind when, more than two decades earlier, they composed the indelible scene in which Thomas Anderson (Keanu Reeves) has to choose between taking a blue pill, which would cause him to remain who he is in a fabricated reality, or a red one, which would officially transform him into Neo—the chosen one, who alone could take down the grand enslavers and illusion makers.

The widely viewed Musk-Trump-Wachowski social media dustup, a collision between celebrities of the industrial, political, and entertainment variety, traveled into territory where those three camps tend to get pretty muddied. The pill’s symbolic journey has been long and gnarly, and has led to more confusion than clarity. What, really, did the red pill signify anymore? What was it supposed to be telling us about the world? Musk’s Twitter feed is typically defined by his anti-tax, anti-regulatory libertarianism, or by his often overbearing—read: relatable—desire to be loved for posting clever memes. Ivanka Trump is a member of the family who was in the White House at the time and remains at the heart of the Republican Party. Wachowski is a prestigious transgender filmmaker whose largest work has become one of the defining cultural and political texts of the 21st century.
https://www.theringer.com/movies/2021/12/21/22847157/the-matrix-red-pill-legacy

That said the actual Red Pill Truthers don’t actually know what the meaning of the Red Pill really is, nor do they care. And you know what? I’ll leave it to the actual creator of the Red Pill herself, Lilly Wachowski, to say exactly what this all means. And well, she has some thoughts and none of them are exactly what the right wingers who use this metaphor want to hear. Because if you take that right wing red pill, expect for some bad mojo to happen. Let’s face it, nobody wants that.

The Matrix co-director Lilly Wachowski has finally confirmed fan speculation that the films are metaphors for transgender identity.

Since both she and sister Lana came out as trans in 2012 and 2016, respectively, trans fans have written about the possible allegories found in the films.

Some have suggested that Neo’s (Keanu Reeves) unease with the world, which is described in the film as a “splinter in your mind”, is a metaphor for gender dysphoria. The “red pill”, which allows him to see reality for what it truly is, has also been compared to estrogen pills.

Lilly Wachowski has now confirmed that she and her sister’s “original intention” was for the film to operate as an allegory for gender identity.

“I’m glad that it has gotten out that that was the original intention,” she told Netflix Film Club. “The world wasn’t quite ready for it. The corporate world wasn’t ready for it.”
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/matrix-trans-metaphor-lana-lilly-wachowski-red-pill-switch-sequels-a9654956.html

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And there’s been plenty of stupidity in the six weeks that we’ve been gone. And again I want to clarify what makes a People Are Dumb story. So what makes a People Are Dumb story – someone robbing a McDonalds, not a People Are Dumb story. Someone throwing trash cans through the windows and threatening to burn this mofo down because they ran out of chicken nuggets? That’s a People Are Dumb story! I want to start with this story out of Delaware. Yes, stupid people are all over the country and it’s not just a uniquely Florida experience! But you know here’s the thing if you rob a bank, don’t return to the scene of the crime to deposit your money into the account at the bank you just robbed! This story is all kinds of next level stupid right here.

A busted bank robber is accused of holding-up a Delaware Wells Fargo Bank, then using that bank’s ATM to stash the loot in his account before making his getaway.

Delaware State Police say the caper unfolded when McRoberts Williams, 44, slipped a note to a 25-year-old teller demanding cash around 11:20 a.m. Saturday in Wilmington.

“The bank teller complied and gave the suspect and undisclosed amount of cash,” police said in a statement. “The suspect fled the bank on foot, and once outside he made a deposit in the ATM on the exterior of the building.”

After fleeing the crime scene, McRoberts allegedly hid behind a nearby shopping center where law enforcement officers located the California man and took him into custody. It’s unclear how much money was stolen.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/robber-deposits-stolen-money-into-same-bank-s-atm-report/ar-AARQNdP

Next up – speaking of robberies, if there’s one thing you don’t want to get caught robbing, it’s a store that sells sex toys. And if you do get caught, why would you want to admit that you stole those items in the first place? Well come on the answer is obvious, you got to have your cock rings, dildos, and nipple clamps, don’t ask me how I know what those things are! But they are out there! But that said here’s more on this insane story.

When planning to rob sex toys from an adult store, it is best to avoid establishments at which you recently applied for a job. A 29-year-old man is behind bars on multiple criminal charges after allegedly stealing $350 worth of items from a Pennsylvania business and threatening to stab a clerk who sought to stop him.

According to a criminal complaint, Jacob McFarland last week entered the Adult World emporium in North Wales, a Philadelphia suburb, and walked out with a pair of masturbators, a $95.99 Fleshlight model and the Autoblow A.I. (which retails for about $250). When an Adult World worker confronted McFarland in the store’s parking lot, the accused masturbator thief allegedly threatened to stab the man.

The employee, cops noted, “was able to identify McFarland because he recently applied for a position at Adult World.” In a police statement, the victim said that, “Jacob came into Adult World and instantly walked to the back of the store” and grabbed the two sex toys.
Officers quickly located McFarland at a hotel just steps away from Adult World. He was found carrying a knife and a backpack with a lock on it. Cops applied for a search warrant for the backpack, which apparently held the purloined masturbators.

McFarland was charged with robbery, a felony, and several misdemeanors, including retail theft and making terroristic threats. He is being held in the Montgomery County lockup in lieu of $5000 bail. According to court records, McFarland has multiple pending criminal cases, for which charges include disorderly conduct, narcotics possession, theft, and criminal mischief.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/adult-world-robbery-274580

Next up – snakes! And no I’m not talking about the kind of snakes currently residing in the republican party, I’m talking about the actual poisonous, real life kind of snakes. You know the kind you see lurking in the bushes… or lurking in toilets. Yeah that happened. And I do say that should be killed with fire. But when you have a collection of 120+ snakes, does that put you in hoarder territory? Yeah it probably does and this Maryland man proved that you probably shouldn’t have that many snakes in one place at one time.

Police officers called to a Maryland residence by a concerned neighbour found a 49-year-old man dead – and surrounded by more than 125 venomous and non-venomous snakes, held in tanks on racks.

The discovery by Charles county sheriff’s deputies and emergency responders at the house in Pomfret became even more bizarre when they established that none of the reptiles, including a 4.3m (14ft) Burmese python, had escaped or were slithering free.

“At last count it was over 125 individual snakes that were racked or in cages inside the home,” Jennifer Harris, a Charles county government spokesperson, told WUSA news.

“I want to assure anybody living within this neighbourhood that we have not seen that any of the snakes were not properly secured or could have escaped. People were concerned there was some danger but we’ve not determined any of the snakes were not secure after this gentleman’s death.”

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jan/24/maryland-man-dead-collection-snakes

Next up – Florida! Of course you know Florida as the Penis of America, or as Homer Simpson calls it, “America’s Wang”. We kid of course! We love Florida here! But you can’t deny that Florida is home to some of the craziest people in the entire country. How do they do it? I’m guessing a steady diet of meth, Jack Daniels, and saltwater air isn’t helping things. But that said, this might be one of the craziest Florida stories we’ve ever seen on this show. And that’s saying a lot. Also, what are they putting in the water supply in the town of Clearwater?

CLEARWATER, Fla. -- Florida authorities said they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man's penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his.

Pinellas County sheriff's deputies said they stopped a vehicle driving without its lights on at 4 a.m. last Saturday. WFLA-TV reports the driver was arrested on charges of DUI and marijuana possession.

Authorities said they found a gun under the passenger’s seat while searching the car and discovered the drugs while searching the passenger.

The man said the drugs were not his, but didn't say who the drugs belonged to, according to the arrest report.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/florida-man-drugs-penis-denies-81896573

Finally this week sticking with the Sunshine State, of course we’re ending with a good fast food rage story. I love a good fast food rage story. And I eat a lot of that shit too. You can tell. But I do know that there’s nothing worse than when you go to a restaurant and they get your order wrong. But don’t fight the people responsible for it. That will never end well for you or for them. But especially you. That happened to this Waffle House patron in Cape Coral.

Cape Coral police officers arrested a man at a Waffle House on Wednesday after they received calls about a disturbance.

When officers arrived, they said they heard a man identified as 28-year-old Martin Jose Alvarez yelling expletives at the staff about how his bacon was cooked.

Officers said Alvarez screamed, “You better cook the f****** bacon right!”

Officers asked Alvarez to come outside, but said he resisted until they threatened to use a taser. ................(more)

https://www.local10.com/news/florida/2022/01/21/police-florida-man-busted-after-tantrum-about-bacon/

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Red State Diaries
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Welcome back to our ongoing series where we take a look at where the post-election MAGA world is up to in our ongoing series “Red State Diaries”. Last time we took a look at the insane phenomenon of elected officials who send out Christmas cards with pictures of their families holding guns and exercising their second amendment rights (whatever those are). This week we’re going to do something a bit different. That is the COVID-19 pandemic is still very much a thing that sadly may never go away thanks to this insanity. And after watching the sheer insanity going on at the anti-vaccine rally in Washington DC last week, we’re going to take a look at some insane COVID cures. Because anti-vaxxers will go out of their way to do just about anything but the right thing. And perhaps my favorite thing that I’ve seen is that someone is suggesting that they drink their own urine to prevent COVID. That’s right, drinking their own fucking urine. I really give up sometimes.

An Alabama anti-vaxxer recently arrested in Jefferson County is touting urine as a cure for COVID-19.

Christopher Key is the founder of “Vaccine Police,” a website that gathers anti-vax news across the internet.

Key posted a video to his Telegram account over the weekend, according to The Daily Beast, saying that the urine cure has been around for centuries.

There is no scientific evidence to support Key’s claim.

“The antidote that we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy,” Key said in the video. “I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need.”
https://www.al.com/news/2022/01/urine-cures-covid-christopher-key-recently-arrested-alabama-anti-vaxxer-falsely-claims.html

Yeah where’s that guy when you need him? And why would you trust anyone that calls themselves the “vaccine police”. And why am I not surprised in the least that this guy is a MAGA supporter? Well I mean aside from the fact that the MAGA in chief himself is allegedly into that sort of thing. That’s another thing that I wish I didn’t know. And speaking of things that I wish I didn’t know, I wish this sort of thing didn’t exist. I mean come on this guy is peddling some next level stupid here. Don’t worry though, my fair audience! He’ll be joining Herman soon enough!

Earlier this week, the anti-vax “Vaccine Police” leader Christopher Paul Key, who set out on a road trip seeking to conduct citizen’s arrests of Democratic governors and was arrested for criminal trespass, urged his followers to swear off COVID-19 inoculation and to instead drink their own urine as a cure.

As it turns out, the anti-vaccine activist got that unscientific medical advice from Dr. Edward Group, a chiropractor who is a pal of Alex Jones, and who sells online coursework for learning the benefits of drinking the “golden nectar.”

Key said in a video posted on Telegram, a platform favored by the far right, last weekend that the COVID-19 vaccine “is the worst bioweapon I have ever seen.” Instead, he told followers, “The antidote that we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy. OK, and I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need.”

He proudly declared: “I drink my own urine!”

In a subsequent conversation with The Daily Beast, Key identified Group as his guru on drinking piss. The anti-vaccine activist said he spoke with Group after getting out of jail for his trespassing charges, and “he told me that he and his team have been looking over those who have been vaccinated and taken the jab, and they have anecdotal evidence of blood clots totally disappearing from using urine therapy.”
https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-alex-jones-pal-behind-the-anti-vaccine-rights-urine-drinking-covid-cure

Yeah the people being proud of drinking their own urine are the ones who say that liberalism is a mental disorder. That’s rich. But this is one of the more disgusting things that they’ve come up with, and this is after they bought livestock dewormer which blows out their intestinal lining and makes them voluntarily shit themselves. Holy crap, yeah like I said I really give up sometimes. This is some serious insanity here, and if you’re listening to this show, seriously, take the damn vaccine and don’t listen to these idiots.

As the pandemic has evolved and vaccinations have become politicized, the door has opened for some questionable alternatives to treat COVID-19.

Urine therapy – where advocates encourage people to drink their own urine to tap into it's redemptive properties – is among the latest and a recent video calling the therapy the next "COVID antidote" was viewed over 366,000 times.

"I've seen a rise in anti-vaxxers and conspiracists supporting urine, Viagra and other odd alternatives to the vaccine," said Dr. Amanda Torres, a physician at Winchester Hospital in Boston. "It's dangerous"

Christopher Key, who travels the country to preach about the dangers of vaccines and masks, has taken too promoting urine therapy on his “Vaccine Police” website.

"OK, and I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need," said Key, who claims "tons of research" has been done on urine therapy..
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/01/11/urine-therapy-latest-covid-antidote/9169167002/

No, you fucking morons. There’s been *NO* research done on this because you made this shit up because you won’t take the damn vaccine. The only one doing any research on this is your creepy uncle who posts stories about it on his Facebook page for likes, and you don’t want to know what he does when he’s not online. You know what? Fuck it. I want to move to France. At least their prime minister is telling these dumbasses where they can stick it.

Emmanuel Macron has prompted a furore after saying that his government’s vaccination strategy is to “piss off” people who have not had coronavirus jabs by continuing to make daily life more and more difficult for them.

“I am not about pissing off the French people,” the president said in an interview with readers of Le Parisien on Tuesday. “But as for the non-vaccinated, I really want to piss them off. And we will continue to do this, to the end. This is the strategy.”

Macron’s remarks came as the French parliament debated new legislation that, if passed, will mean only the fully vaccinated – and no longer those with a negative Covid test – will qualify for the country’s health pass from next month.

The pass, introduced this summer, is required in France for access to indoor public places such as cafes, restaurants, cinemas, museums, concert venues and sports centres, as well as to board long-distance trains and planes.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/04/macron-declares-his-covid-strategy-is-to-piss-off-the-unvaccinated

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="4"]Tool:[/font]



Folks my latest guest are out on tour promoting their latest album called Fear Inoculum and you can see them live through March 24th. Playing their song “Invincible”, give it up for the legendary Tool!

Thanks to our home in Santa Ana, thanks to Tool, we’re off to Salt Lake City next. See you next week!

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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

[Baitball Blogger]

1. wow!