BREAKING NEWS: Musk offers to buy Twitter for $43 B cash, 852 quadrillion Rubles or 27 "Fartcoin"

[Tommy Carcetti]

Billionaire Elon Musk today officially sought to purchase social media giant Twitter today, offering payment in at least three different options.

Musk told Twitter shareholders the buyout could be made by payment of $43 billion in cash. Alternately, investors would also be given the option of payment of 852 quadrillion Russian Rubles--with strict fixed rate conditions--or by 27 "Fartcoin."

Fartcoin is a previously unknown cryptocurrency founded only last week by 8Chan user Boobsmaster69KKK, which languished at $0.0000001 per USD until Musk promoted the currency on his Twitter feed yesterday, thus causing its value to immediately skyrocket to $25,028 per USD at time of press.

Twitter shareholders were reportedly mulling all three offers, although some expressed a desire for even more buyout options, such as Chuck-E-Cheese tokens and those 20% Bed Bath and Beyond mailer coupons that are delivered nationwide to postal residents on a semi-regular basis.

Details at Eleven.

[MontanaMama]

1. That OP made me laugh out loud.

"27 Fartcoin".

[Tommy Carcetti]

4. "Fartcoin" has to be a real thing though, right?

I mean, dollars to donuts, someone has to have made some dumb joke cryptocurrency that's floating worthlessly out there called Fartcoin.

I'd look it up but I'm almost embarrassed to be proven correct.

[lame54]

2. Farts are tangible...

Whereas crypto...

[tanyev]

3. Fartcoins? OMG, Donny could still become the richest man on the planet.

[ornotna]

5. Sell now!

Fartcoin is only going to go up.

Until it cools off that is.