Yo, Mr. Trump! I hear your looking for a "special" Special Master, amiright ?
Sir, I am your man.
While it is true I may not be a licensed attorney, never went to law school and have never been in a courtroom except for a few totally bogus DUI charges, I do have a lot of "legal experience".
I have watched virtually every episode of "Law and Order", most of the old "Perry Mason" shows and even a few hours of "The Defenders". On top of that, I have done LOTS of internet research on numerous patriotic websites these past several weeks and I am sure I know more than those Harvard and Yale elitists who invaded even Melania's privacy and rummaged through her panties!
There is NO QUESTION that you were ABSOLUTELY ENTITLED to take those declassified documents with you when you were wrongfully evicted from YOUR White House. Get me appointed to this Special Master gig and I'll straighten out these "woke" socialists real quick!
P.S.: I have my own laptop.
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That should do it!! 
binge-watch Boston Law.
I had a great lawyer and she told me, one day, about the discussion she had over lunch with the judge. I said "my God you guys are just like Boston Law". She said no we are not, we don't dress like they do. 
