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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsYeah, But Wouldn't You Need a Functioning Brain to Think About Declassifying Something? (Ferret)
If anybody asks you what life in the United States was like in 2022, well, the big thing was Donald Trump trying to drive as many people as possible violently insane, because he figured the threat of further terrorism was his best shot at avoiding prosecution. The real bitch of it is, despite failing at everything from steaks to vodka to casinos (casinos!) to pandemic management, turns out the guy has a real gift when it comes to driving people violently insane.
(As ever, this nonsense makes more sense with links n such: https://showercapblog.com/yeah-but-wouldnt-you-need-a-functioning-brain-to-think-about-declassifying-something/)
So, Youngstown. Yikes. Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes.
They have a salute now, I see. Thats
not great.
Its gettin weird, innit? I mean, its always been weird, and I certainly didnt expect Off-Brand Orbáns tightening embrace of QAnon to lead to puppies and rainbows or anything, but I guess I was hoping we wouldnt get to the cult music/saluting phase for a while yet.
Now, 99.9% of what goes down at these rallies is awful and depressing and frankly scary as fuck, but I do enjoy the bit where the game show host takes the Big Fancy Wannabe Senator Man and rubs his face around in a pile of shit, just cuz he can. And of course that bits scary, too, its one of the fashier bits, but JD Vance doesnt deserve dignity, and its fun watching it drain from him.
Well, turns out the Constitution did not imbue Judge Aileen Cannon with supreme statute-inventing authority after all, so proposed special master Judge Raymond Dearie barely had time for a quick You Drooling Fuckwits Expect Me To What Now? before the 11th Circuit put an end to this latest legal joyride, though Im sure Cannon and maniac Trump appointees like her will be a source of fun, fascist fuckery for years to come.
Undeterred by realitys latest incursion into his Adderall-soaked fantasy world, the Deposed Dotard went on Hannity to claim he possessed the power to declassify whatever struck his fancy, simply by thinking about it. They only give that power to the really special Presidents, yknow
the cognitive test passers.
See, this is my favorite Donald Trump: the preening jackass who cannot stop himself from showing the world how badly his brain works. The guy who suggests disinfectant infusions and doctors weather maps with sharpies. No, there are no laws that allow anyone anywhere to declassify anything by thinking about it. That would be stupid. Why would anyone want that? Why would anyone suggest that? What a stupid, stupid thing to say.
And now, New York Attorney General Letitia James fraud lawsuit not only threatens the business empire his dad paid for, but subjects the Velveeta Vulgarian to his greatest lifelong fear: public exposure of the truth about his pathetically overinflated claims of wealth. Must suck to be an unusually fragile narcissist when shit like that happens.
As delightful as Fat Q*berts courtroom faceplants always are, hes hardly the only wingnut scumbag getting dog-walked through the justice system these days. From James OKeefe to Alex Jones to Mike Lindell to the Hitler cosplay Capitol rioter, its been a veritable festival of consequences out there. Keep it up, sez me. At this moment in history, I feel like the rule of law is a use-it-or-lose-it proposition.
With so many world-class asshats running for Senate seats and governorships, to say nothing of the election-denying conspiracy theorists seeking control of our voting infrastructure, its easy to overlook the skidmark brigade attempting to swell Kevin McCarthys Kooky Kakistocrat Kaucus, but SURPRISE they suck, too.
Lets start with John Gibbs in Michigan, who liked America better before all the uppity broads got to vote on shit like their so-called bodily autonomy. Be sure to dive into Gibbs scholarly musings on male supremacy, by the way. That therere more gaps in his logic than in Donnies border wall certainly doesnt interfere with the lads confidence, because theres no effect realer than Dunning-Kruger.
Then theres J.R. Majewski, seeking election in the new Ohio 9th, who understandably felt the need to embellish a resumé thin beyond Well I Painted Donald Trumps Face On My Lawn Once, and figured a lil stolen valor would do the trick.
The Manchurian Manchild endorsed both these dolts, by the way, which is how they won their primaries in the first place. And maybe letting an emotionally stunted egomaniac handpick candidates based solely on their ability to capture his attention with public displays of obsequiousness isnt a great system. Just a suggestion.
Lowering expectations before a debate is a time-honored tradition for idiots seeking office the world over, but Herschel Walker was always going to face an unusually steep climb here. Still, I think he got it about as right as humanly possible, telling reporters, look, if I get through this without eating out of a cat box, I think I deserve a parade. Or something very similar, I didnt click the link.
Im starting to think Ron DeSantis maybe didnt think things all the way through before he pissed hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars away on that wacky human trafficking stunt last week. The investigations n lawsuits are piling up already, and despite the triumphal bleating of the right-wing jagoffosphere, not a single lib was owned. Still, this performative cruelty to dehumanized minorities will almost certainly boost his standing with Republican primary voters, and what a festive snippet of conventional wisdom that is.
You might not have even noticed the House GOP releasing their sad, flimsy Contract With America II: Lazy White Nationalist Boogaloo. Lordy, what a flaccid regurgitation of grey, dusty Gingrich cud. I know there isnt a lot of readin and writin going down on yalls side of the aisle lately, but goddamn.
Of course, all the energy Republicans save by never giving a single passing fuck about any actual issues facing the nation goes into the elaborate construction of what Kellyanne Conway might call alternative problems, which are better than real problems, frankly, at least when it comes to riling up the rubes, since youre free to manufacture maximum menace.
Like fentanyl. Fuckin FENTANYL, the demon drug that can kill you from like, ten feet away. Just reading the word fentanyl, here in this paragraph, will cause fatal overdoses in 3-4% of my readership, and I certainly apologize to the families affected. In many ways, its the anti-ivermectin.
And theyre putting it in YOUR CHILDRENS HALLOWEEN CANDY!
at GREAT PERSONAL EXPENSE!
for SOME REASON!
Gibbering idiocy. Doesnt come within ten fucking miles of making sense. Not even a good lie. And still, major Republican officials belch this garbage up, on news programs. Ronna NotRomney. Kevin McCarthy. Fabricating catastrophe to distract from their own partys very real assaults on our fundamental rights. Its all very normal and healthy.
Kash Patel, who is one of the Dennis Hopper types in this Aldi version of Kurtzs camp, wrote a Big Lie childrens book, and I figure youd need Steve Bannons Pornhub password to find anything as obscene as the idea of passing this demented ideology down to your kids. Christ.
House Republicans, called upon to love their country just enough to support the Hey Lets Not Do That Coup Thing Again Act, once again failed to clear the lowest imaginable moral hurdle. Arming that flock of buttholes with committee gavels seems unwise. Vote in the goddamn midterms.
Im told a new MAGA dating service has encountered struggles attracting women, and gosh, well need our finest detectives on that one.
What else, what elllllllllse? Whos getting death threats this week? Ummmmmm, the National Archives
lawmakers representing Marthas Vineyard (for insufficient hatred of migrants, ysee)
presumably Eric Swalwell still
I dunno, pretty much everybody by now, surely.
Look, Putin is totally winning the war in Ukraine, its just that he needs another 300,000 or so fresh bullet sponges to drop in front of those HIMARS, which sounds like a really fun job, though in completely unrelated news, draft-age men appear to be fleeing Russia in great numbers. Still want those history books to talk aboutcha, Vladkins? Theyre gonna.
Its all just so stupid and exhausting. And stupid. And exhausting. Im gonna go make myself some NyQuil chicken and watch a Star War. Please stay safe out there amidst the weirdness, my friends.
Elessar Zappa
(13,964 posts)Thank you, Ferret! K&R
underpants
(182,769 posts)Reading later.
SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)One would need to be capable of forming a thought!