OK, Dr. Oz, You're Right. John Fetterman Is Definitely Probably In A Gang.

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.wonkette.com/dr-oz-john-fetterman-crips

If Pennsylvania Republicans were trying to intentionally step on their own dicks, we cannot imagine how they'd do it more effectively than with the two men they have running for governor and senator. Doug Mastriano, in the gubernatorial race, is an unhinged QAnon white fascist Christian wackjob who's so despised by everyone, and whose campaign is such garbage, that he's been reduced to begging his 16 supporters to starve themselves, in order to trick God into making him their governor. Reached for comment by Wonkette, God said "LOL those dumbity dumb dumb dumbfucks" and handed us a Josh Shapiro bumper sticker.

Meanwhile, everybody already knows what a shitty candidate Dr. Mehmet Oz is. He'd be shitty even if he was running on his home turf in New Jersey. There is no campaign message Dr. Oz cannot fuck up. He's just a goddamn failure. And, just like Shapiro with Mastriano, John Fetterman is beating the crap out of Dr. Oz.

The other day, Newt Gingrich tweeted some senile brain-addled confusion about Fetterman's "I Will Make You Hurt" tattoo, and the internet politely replied that it's a Nine Inch Nails song as covered exquisitely by just an unknown troubadour named Johnny Cash, you fucking dork. Then Newt, pathetically trying to keep it going, asked in a follow-up if it Fetterman's tattoo was "based on his ties to the crips gang as reported by the Free Beacon or a reference to the nine inch nails heroin song 'Hurt.'" You know, as if he'd known it was a lyric from "Hurt" all along, but also legitimately thought could be something about the Crips.

We made a mistake. We didn't realize how much this was going to become a thing. Sure, the Free Beacon did indeed have some Gateway-Pundit-grade paint-huffing about Fetterman and the Crips this week, but surely Dr. Oz isn't ...

Link to tweet

*snip*

[2naSalit]

1. Wait...

Are the Crips even a thing anymore or is sNewty just riffing off the tried and true from the early 1990s?

[rubbersole]

3. You can't teach an old POS newt tricks.

[LakeArenal]

6. Yeah I think they took over a nursing home for free wheel chairs.

[Mr. Ected]

2. When your party aligns with the Oathkeepers and Proud Boys

You really can't say very much about a Dem's "gang" membership, now can you?

[KS Toronado]

4. Rs align with lots of losers.

[jmowreader]

5. An Eric Cartman quote is appropriate at this moment

"Dude, you're really, really reaching."

[Initech]

7. Quack doctor selling bullshit supplements accuses others of lacking integrity? That's rich!

[FakeNoose]

8. Who listens to Newt Gingrich? Who even cares what he thinks?

Even people who are stupid enough to vote for Oz, aren't THAT stupid.
Are they?

[3catwoman3]

9. Much like Trump, Newt is his own...

...biggest fan.

His voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard