I was released from County Jail a couple of hours ago

[ripcord]

I decided to go by my grandnieces place and drop off a few things, they are just starting out and don't make much. As I walked up to their place I saw that they were arguing so I thought I would just leave it by the front door and call them to say I had been in a hurry, after all married people argue sometimes. Just as I was setting the bags down her husband slapped her right across the face. I had always thought seeing red was just an expression but I actually remember seeing a red tinge around my vision, it is the last thing I remember. According to the police I took the door right off the frame and broke his nose, fractured his cheek and broke four ribs, I honestly don't remember any of it. I was taken to the Sheriff's station and then transferred to county jail. They made the determination there that I could be released on my own recognizance with a citation to appear in court for a charge of battery. After a short conversation with a lawyer he is pretty sure he considering the circumstances he can get the charge reduced. I did it so I have to pay the price but I am having trouble beating myself up over it after what happened.

[Ilsa]

1. Having family like you would be a blessing.

She'll never forget what you did for her to protect her. I know "violence isn't the answer" but sometimes bullies have to be dealt with in a way they can understand.

I hope they get help, too.

[people]

2. Well, you put a domestic abuser in his place

Thank you!

[LT Barclay]

3. I have a friend from Kenya and in his culture this is both normal and expected behavior.

[BWdem4life]

24. Which part?

The slapping or the takedown of the slapper?

[LT Barclay]

54. Sorry, the takedown

[Hugh_Lebowski]

4. I'm not trying to bag on you or anything man, what you did was heroic

But legally it might've been a little extreme to fuck the dude up that badly over a slap.

I mean if you're downplaying the level of what you witnessed, for whatever reason, I could adjust my view on that, but I'm thinking you're going to have to answer to the law, esp. if was in the guys own house and you broke down the door and broke four ribs.

Don't get me wrong I understand ... and I HOPE the law goes easy on you. But it might not.

Do you know if he has any past record for this kind of violence? If so, that'll probably be a huge help in your case. And of course if the cops took pictures of her cheek, and it looks really bruised (not that I hope for that ) that'll work in your favor as well.

Anyways, good on you defending your grandniece

[Kittycatkat]

79. If someone saw a man slap a woman (or man) on the sidewalk and intervened it would be considered

stopping an assault. Should be no different if it happens in a home. He should not have been arrested.

[Ms. Toad]

80. Intervening to prevent an ongoing threat - yes

But the person intervening cannot use more force than the threatened person is allowed to use in self-defense: Proportionate to the threat.

So the granddaughter can't break a nose and a rib in response to a threatened slap because the defense is disproportionate to the threat, meaning granddad can't either.

And - self-defense cannot be used in retribution. There has to be a reasonable belief of future violence (not past)

As described, the arrest had nothing to do with the difference between home and sidewalk.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

84. Yeah well what should be and what is ... are often at odds

I don't want to sound like I'm disparaging to the OP in any way, but 'intervening to prevent further attack' and 'delivering blows to someone's face and breaking 4 ribs' are not necessarily synonymous.

One thing the defense lawyer would most likely ask is 'did you attempt to bang on the door and shout to my client you were calling the police?'

Just as an example of the kinds of questions OP will face here.

Not passing judgement 'morally' at all, but 'legally' ... it's not a slam dunk .

[Solly Mack]

5. I'd have done the same thing (Cause I have). Hope it goes better than expected with you.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

6. Thank you

I have been mistreated by bullies all through school until I had it and knocked the living shit out of him. That ended that.

Bullies only understand domination humiliation and pain. They should get thier shit kicked everytime they mistreat someone it would train them to keep thier asshole in check.

Anyways in my book you are a hero.
Sometimes the law can be stupid.
But its nessessary. Because of career bullies it exists because of them.

[BWdem4life]

25. The only thing that guy will learn

is not to hit her when it might be seen by someone else.

[Dorian Gray]

26. Unfortunately, this is true

I also fear he will take out his anger on the niece.

I totally understand the rage the OP felt upon seeing his family member hit by her spouse. I'm not judging that. Though I really hope he follows up by talking to his niece and helping her move out of the abusive home. Or talking to her parents (if they're around).

Good luck and hope she is okay.

[Maraya1969]

61. Hopefully he will learn a lesson behind bars

[Phoenix61]

7. So sorry for your legal issues but the odds that

that was the very first time he pulled that shit are exceedingly slim. I worked with a man from Ireland many years ago. He was surprised we had laws against domestic violence and I was surprised they did not. He said there if a spouse or boyfriend did that her brothers, uncles etc would beat the crap out of the POS. Seemed to work back then pretty well.

[Demobrat]

11. Well great, unless

she doesn’t have brothers or uncles or a father (I don’t).

[Phoenix61]

13. Friends were on the list also.

Apparently, his friends would pretty much shun him. Nothing like strong social pressure to help people make better choices.
.

[Phoenix61]

23. Friends can fill in. nt

[Mariana]

57. Abusers routinely isolate their victims from their friends.

[Phoenix61]

59. But that takes time. If the abuser gets his ass kicked

the first time he does it he won’t have time to isolate her.

[Warpy]

22. I remember hearing about the deal Irish women made with violent assholes

"Go ahead and hit me, I can take it. Touch the children and I'll kill you."

That was back in the old days when divorce was impossible and the parish priest was useless because men stick together. Forget the cops, they're useless even now.

[mopinko]

34. the deal my mom made

da never hit her. but he was raised w ‘spare the rod, etc.’
there were 7 of us, 1 boy in the middle. mom left him home w the 1st when she went shopping. she was pg w #2. she found a bruise on my sister’s behind, and laid down the law.
but when my bro came along he said- nobody tells me how to raise my son.
my brother caught hell, and it ran downhill to me.

[Warpy]

47. My mother went through that

because my grandfather was a mean drunk. My Irish gran threw him out when my mother was barely in school. She got the divorce when my mother was 13 or so--in the early 1920s when only the silent film stars were doing that sort of thing. My grandmother was done with men. My mother didn't marry until her late 30s. Oh, yeah, the scars are there and they tend to travel downward, generation after generation.

It stopped with me. I don't have kids.

[Deuxcents]

8. I don't advocate hitting anyone but having said that..there are times

That call for more than a verbal confrontation. I hope your niece stands with you n that this experience makes her realize this relationship is not good for her health. Hopefully, the next move will be helping her out n into her own place. Broken nose n 4 ribs, huh? Pretty painful, I bet. Probably gonna take a while to get all healed up? Tots n pears. Take good care of yourself

[Buns_of_Fire]

9. Good on you. I hope it turns out well for you.

I've had the same thing ( "seeing red" ) happen once. I was told at the time I had to be pried off the guy.

[yagotme]

96. I got that mad once, actually couldn't see at all.

Restrained myself, but was standing next to buddy's desk, had my fists pressed against the top of it, and I remember saying 'Hold me back, I'm gonna kill him". Holding wasn't needed, but that incident scared the crap out of me.

[Wifes husband]

10. Violence

I have heard all my life that violence is not the answer. I wish that was true; I think you should avoid violence if at all possible, but sometimes you have to do what needs to be done.

[Botany]

12. So you opened a can of whoop ass on somebody who needed it.

Ripped the door from its frame, broke his nose, broke his cheek bone, and broke his ribs? Now
get your niece to a safe place and call the D.A.'s office about a restraining order.

[orleans]

18. good idea nt

[question everything]

14. How did your grandniece react? Sadly, too often abused women side with the abusers

I hope she is safe now

[raccoon]

27. I was wondering that myself. Hopefully she will realize that he is

a dangerous mf and decides to separate from him.

Sadly, often women want to stay with him—„but I love him“.

[ripcord]

40. She has left him

He was taken into custody also so she took advantage of that time to get the her things out, she has moved back in with her parents and says she is done with him.

[wryter2000]

43. Good

You did a good thing.

[JudyM]

46. Excellent.

Especially that she drew the line and left him. If she has any injuries from this it’d be good to document them right away, even if just with photos. Could help both of you as you go through your respective legal proceedings.

Since it was heat of the moment, hopefully you’ll get a lighter sentence/penalty. If she happened to have reported abuse previously that could also help you.

Good luck.

[Warpy]

52. Let's hope it sticks.

Often it doesn't.

DV has a predictable cycle: control, accusation, violence, remorse, romance, control...and it just keeps escalating. It's the romance part that is addictive and keeps sucking women back in. When he says he's changed, it's true, he's always getting worse. Often it takes a woman a long time to break free.

Be kind to her. It's a tough way to live.

I'm glad he's got those broken ribs to deal with on his own, nobody to wait on him.

[Hekate]

68. I have to say I thought about that part. I'm glad she left the SOB & I hope she sticks with it.

To hell with him, and good luck to your family.

[barbtries]

71. happy to hear this.

sorry you have to go through so much. as for him, well, fuck him

[Bayard]

15. Wow!

There have been times in my life that I wish someone had stood up for me like that.

I guess the big question will be--who will your niece side with? Is she a battered woman who will make excuses for her husband?

[CousinIT]

16. GOOD on you. Your grand-niece is being abused....

....you saw it, you did something and you should say something. Keep a cellphone on you at all times and get photos and videos if you can - however I hope this ends - I hope their marriage ends. I really do. Because that guy will escalate and he won't stop or change. I'm glad you kicked the shit out of him. Do not beat yourself up. You did the right thing. Abuse thrives in secrecy and indifference.

[C Moon]

17. Amazing. I'm sorry you have to go through the legal system again...

but I would guess your grandniece will never go through what she did again.
That bastard.

[Warpy]

19. Ice those knuckles

and put some antibiotic cream and bandages on any cuts, just for tonight. It's going to hurt in the morning but somehow I imagine you'll think it's worth it.

I never had anyone come to my defense when a guy hit me, so I don't know what that feels like. I imagine, however, that your grand niece doesn't know whether to kiss you or kill you, so let her come to you when she figures it out.

I was out the door within 24 hours. Fortunately, it only happened twice, different jerks. I was gone fast both times.

I hope she gets some help with this. Violent men are like leaky roofs and plumbing problems, they only get worse, never better.

(Those broken ribs are going to slow him down a lot.)

[ripcord]

38. I'm really feeling it this morning

[Warpy]

50. I'll bet you are

Ice for 48 hours, then heat. Plus, I'm sure you hurt in places you didn't know you had places. Cleaning some jerk's clock after the age of 50 can really take it out of you.

Expect drama. Drama always happens.

[LoisB]

20. I hope they drop the charges. Isn't there something in the law about defense of another?

[wnylib]

55. That's what I was thinking, too.

His defense might be that he was defending his niece.

It might sound like he went overboard, but if the niece's husband was fighting back, it might be justified.

[Ms. Toad]

82. Yes, but as described it wouldn't apply here.

A person defending another can only use the force the person being defended would be entitled to use.

Before you can batter someone, there has to be a threat of future harm (not past), and the battery has to be proportional to the threatened harm.

Basically, you can't bring a gun to a fistfight, and it has to be apparent that the fistfight is continuing before you can bring your fists (but not a gun) in.

As described, it was a slap. It is possible that it was clear that another slap was coming. But if it was punishment for the slap, rather than prevention of the next one, defense of others vanishes.

And breaking a nose and rib to stave off a slap is the equivalent of bringing a gun to a fist fight - way out of proportion.

[treestar]

105. +1 as described it is revenge

but it was entirely possible another hit was coming; that could be defense of another.

[Ms. Toad]

107. Agreed - and there may well be more than what was described.

But it is the OP's burden to prove that they had an objectively reasonable belief that something proportional to breaking a nose and rib was about to happen. And the fact that more blows hadn't been struck in the time it took to tear the door off its hinges make that belief less reasonable, as does the initial inclination as someone who knew the slapper to walk away.

Were I in the shoes of either the prosecution or the OP, I'd be trying to work out a reasonable plea/punishment given the circumstances.

[nolabear]

21. Is your niece in danger? I'm sorry this happened to you both.

The next step is important. Because you were arrested and if she didn’t have him also arrested for battery you aren’t in a good position to help her avoid worse. Is the rest of the family thee for her, and you?

Feel free not to reply of course. It’s always important to be careful what you say. But I hope this is the end of her abuse.

[RandiFan1290]

28. Cool story, bro! nt

[Coventina]

66. Not cool, bro. n/t

[malaise]

29. I am proud of you

Rec

[betsuni]

30. Hope you don't get into any legal trouble.

Last apartment I lived in (not U.S.) was between two domestic violence families. The police were great.

One, elderly retired couple police visited many times. Husband went on violent rampages yelling for hours, breaking dishes and furniture, very loud. I expected one of them murdered the other every time I saw the police coming yet again. I made notes of the times just in case I could be a witness. We moved out before the eventual murder or "accident."

Other was a family with children, husband coming back drunk and slapping around his wife. The wife regularly locked her children out of the apartment as punishment for bad behavior. Horrible. One night the father slapped his young daughter again and again and it was too much -- I made my husband call the police. They moved out the next day. I sometimes saw the wife and daughter going into the apartment after that (they still owned the condo) but never lights on, no sound, they were hiding. When they were beaten too much and were afraid.

[Victor_c3]

31. If I were you, I'd sleep soundly and be at ease with myself

The only two people I truly care about are my two daughters. Anyone who has a daughter would understand what you did.

I wish the best of luck to you and your family.

[BlackSkimmer]

32. No charges for taking "the door right off the frame"?

I had initially assumed the door was open, which was how you saw the slap. But I guess you saw it through a window?

At any rate, you're lucky you're not getting charged for breaking and entering, despite your good intentions.

Was the husband arrested? Was your grandniece injured? Will she follow through on the charges against her husband?

[Kaleva]

33. Pay the price with a smile as you can rightfully sleep well at night.

[LexVegas]

35. Took the door right off the frame? Were they in a closet?

[Polybius]

56. I'm very curious to his height, shape, and age

He's likely at least 65 or 70 if he has a grandniece that's old enough to be married. However, his name is Ripcord. That's a term in the Army Special Forces, so if he was in, he's likely still very tough.

[dembotoz]

36. lawyer up and shut up

to the police and the da you are a thug
You will be treated as such

Justifiable or not you have made yourself vulnerable
To make himself look good for re election the da will try to build his batting average.
His goal is to fuck you over so no opponent can say he is not tough on crime

I DO NOT know where you live but around here juries just rubber stamp what the da and the cop says

Justice is only on tv shows.

Be careful

Saw this up close and personal with a family friend who ended up pleading guilty to avoid 6 yrs in prison.
The plea deal was a deferred prosecution...year on probation, counseling etc.

criminal justice system is a joke

[treestar]

106. it's not a joke

because people don't get their way.

It does not allow revenge. Only self defense or defense of others. No vigilantism.

[dembotoz]

109. my friend cooked their own goose by being blabby and trying to explain

one person is freaking out and the other is taking notes which will be turned over to a prosecutor

the cop is not officer friendly

[ripcord]

37. An update

My grandniece has left her husband and has gone home to her parents. She called me and thanked me for stepping in, she says he never hit her before but she is done with him because she can never trust him or feel safe around him again. He was taken to the hospital and then into custody, my grandniece wasn't sure of the charges but there were 3 of them. I can still face further charges when the DA's office looks at the case. Many of my family members have been in touch and have been very supportive which helps but several of also reminded me that I could have handled this better and I can't disagree with them. I'm just happy that my grandniece has enough determination to step away for her own good.

[okaawhatever]

51. What s fantastic family. So much support and love. Best wishes to you all. nt

[mcar]

69. Is she filing charges

against her abusive soon to be ex?

[Ms. Toad]

86. I'm both glad you stepped in to defend your grandniece - and glad that you recognize

that there were other, better, ways to handle the matter.

Your presence may well have saved your grandniece from worse, even without your own violent reaction. And it sounds as if she recognizes her husband for what he is and is ready to move on without the lout. Let's hope she make it stick! Since this is the first time he hit her, she may be able to. The easiest time to get away is the first time - after that, it gets harder and harder to rationalize leaving this time (rather than the one before and the one before) and a lot of self-hatred starts to pile in.

And you are to be commended for taking responsibiity for your own actions. Get a good attorney (or keep the one you have if you are comfortable with them). Follow their advice. Get the best deal you can. With luck the punishment will be minor and you can move on with your life.

[panader0]

39. I don't have any grandnieces, but if anyone every laid a hand on my daughters, they would

regret it very much. My two sons can take care of themselves.

[irisblue]

41. You need a few bucks for a lawyer? She need a few bucks to get away from him?

If she (&kids?) move away, she'll need first month last month, security deposit & some type of external home security system

[Scrivener7]

42. This is a good idea.

[Baitball Blogger]

44. This is one of those decisions where you have to pay the price for doing the right thing.

Nothing but hugs from me.

[AmBlue]

45. oh my word

I am so sorry!! As a woman, I have to say THANK YOU for defending your grand niece! Like you, I only wish you hadn't done such a spectacular job of it. Hopefully, she will bear witness in your defense and charges will be lessened or dropped. That guy is scum!

[Zeitghost]

48. Find a new lawyer who will defend you and not cop a plea and collect a fee

And do not say anything, hopefully you did not admit to anything while in custody.

You stopped a violent threat to an innocent person. Full stop. That is legal.

[Ms. Toad]

83. As described, probably not legal.

The threat has to be imminent and ongoing (possibly but not described that way)

The force used has to be proportionate to the threatened harm. The force needed to break a nose and rib required at least two blows, which is disproportionate to the slap, assuming a second was threatened.

[Zeitghost]

85. Let them prove that

The OP had reasonable belief that the physical harm would continue if not physically stopped. A couple blows was sufficient to stop the threat. He didn't kick him while he was down or continue to beat him once the threat was neutralized. Let the niece tell the court how much fear she was in. No jury would convict. If, it was as described and no key facts are being left out.

I'd also delete this thread ASAP if I was the OP.

[Ms. Toad]

87. It isn't legally up to them to prove it.

All they have to prove is the necessary mens rea and actions that fit the crime.

Once they prove their case, the burden is on the OP to prove the affirmative defense of self-defense. He has to prove that there was a reasonable belief that an imminent threat existed that was equivalent to at least two punches resulting in a broken nose and ribs. As described it was an argument and a single slap. It took time to take the door off the hinges. If there wasn't something stronger than a slap initiated in that time, before the punches, that will be hard to prove.

And yes, the OP should probably delete this thread. I thought about suggesting that. Any statement by a party is admissible as evidence (it's not hearsay, by definition).

[Zeitghost]

88. A good attorney

Could get him out of this, provided he stops talking about it on the internet and didn't do the same in jail.

There is presumably a decent age disparity that would be sympathetic. Let the "victim" take the stand and answer questions about what led to the confrontation. No DA is going to want to roll the dice on a domestic abuser with some minor injuries for a victim. And if they do, picking off a juror or two to deadlock the jury is a real possibility.

Now, if the OP has issues that might not make him so sympathetic, things might be different. But if this were me, I'd play hard ball and let them try to convict.

[Ms. Toad]

89. Off? I doubt it.

A conviction of a less serious crime with fine and/or probation rather than jail time - probably.

But the fact that this is the first physical violence, and the fact that the OP was initially unconcerned enough about his grandniece's safety that he was just going to walk away doesn't play well against a door torn off its hinges, a broken nose, and broken rib. That's a significant amount of violence.

[debm55]

49. ripcord, thank you so much for standing up for your grandniece. I am against violence, but sometimes

an abuser needs put in their place. Speaking from experience, Thank you.

[Polybius]

53. That's pretty impressive

I'm going to estimate that you're at least 40 years older than him? You must be in phenomenal shape.

[dwayneb]

58. What if he had pulled a gun?

That's the problem these days, guns are frigging everywhere. Get in an argument with anyone and there is always the potential that instead of fists, your antagonist may choose to respond with deadly force.

Road rage incidents for example in my area often turn into gun battles, instead of flipping the bird like we would have 20 years ago, someone decides to fire a round through your window.

Don't blame you a bit for what you did, but calling police might have been a safer alternative.

[Mosby]

60. He's probably going to sue you.

The criminal charges are the least of your worries.

[inthewind21]

64. Agreed

This is going to be hard to get out of. Unless charges are dropped.

[Takket]

63. charges should be dismissed, you defended a person that was attacked

not sure where you live but geez, if we have laws saying you can "stand your ground" and shoot people to death for making you feel fear then we should certainly allow events that don't result in someone being killed!!!

[inthewind21]

65. You honestly

Want to allow people to be able to legally kick in your door and send you to the hospital for what they saw through a window? Not saying man slapping his wife is acceptable, but what happens when you and your wife are horse assing around and someone sees something from outside and kicks in your door and breaks your nose and ribs?

I saw a baby left in a car seat left alone in a car during the summer in front of the court house in Texas. My first instinct was to get the kid out of the car myself. I didn't, I went into the courthouse and found an officer. Said officer came with me to the car, called it in and got the baby out of the car. He then informed me that I did the right thing because had I opened that door and removed that kid, that would be considered kidnapping. Because I considered it "the right thing" to do, the law did not.

[Coventina]

67. Laws vary from place to place. Here in AZ, you absolutely CAN break into a car

to save not just children but also animals.

Also, your dire warnings about kicking in doors to send to people to the hospital are irrelevant in this case, as his grandniece has verified the danger she was in.

But, you do you, I guess.....

[inthewind21]

73. Huh

Wonder why there were arrests then? Now, you do you. I guess......

[Coventina]

74. He was arrested for the attack on the abuser. It's not uncommon to arrest both parties

in assault cases and then let the DA proceed with whatever charges that s/he chooses to prosecute.

[BlackSkimmer]

91. He didn't break into a car though.

He took a "door right off the frame" and entered to beat the guy up (using his own words).

In my state you can certainly break into a hot car to save a child, but I'm not so sure you can break into someone's house.

[inthewind21]

75. Yes, the Good Samaritan Law

Yeah in AZ you can, AFTER you notify the proper authorities.

[Takket]

76. yes, i want people to be able to defend someone else they see being attacked. surprised someone

finds that controversial.

[treestar]

104. He was wrong. In that scenario you had every right to

get the kid the hell out of the car; he could have died while you were finding a cop.

[barbtries]

70. hopefully he was arrested as well

for domestic violence, and your niece has no plans to return to him. you may have saved her from a lifetime of misery. you may have gone a bit overboard with the beating and hopefully you won't get jail time beyond what you already did.

[hunter]

72. In my matriarchal family you wouldn't have gotten any brownie points.

Both of you guys would have been verbally castrated and dropped off at the nearest shelter.

Or worse...

There's a joke in our family that we're pacifists by necessity, not by any natural inclination.

Disposing of bad men is a woman's prerogative.

This is precisely what patriarchal cultures fear.

[TigressDem]

77. My Uncle beat up a rapist so bad he had to go to court about it too.

He did not do any jail time for it because the woman actually feared for her life, but the judge DID say, "Sir, I believe you over did it just a bit."




Good luck. Maybe investigate "temporary insanity" since you went into a rage haze and don't remember what happened.

[electric_blue68]

78. Wow, TY for defending your Grand Niece, even if overboard...

Looks like a lot of posters have made some good suggestions, too, for you and her.
Glad she left! Glad you've got a lot of family support, and thanks from her.

Good luck. I hope you don't have to do any more jail time.
Hopefully he won't sue - good luck with that if it happens.

[Cha]

81. How Traumatic for you and your

Niece!

Is your Niece supporting you? I understand if you don' want to talk about it.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

90. If I Were Your Attorney..........

........I would first explore a "Defense of Another" defense (probably won't work, but worth a look), and then, since you literally don't remember anything that happened, start looking into competency issues (again, a long-shot that probably won't work, but worth a look). If those two things fail, this sounds like a slam-dunk for a reduction to something like Disorderly Conduct, or maybe even less if you get a good Prosecutor.

I don't know which State this occurred in, but I can tell you that where I practice, the Prosecutors are generally pretty good about working with you when their "victim" is a P.O.S. I recently had a case where my client was charged with Domestic Violence. The Complaint stated that she threw her vape pen at her boyfriend and caused a "scratch." She said she didn't remember doing it. I asked for a competency examination which came back that she was competent, but the more important piece of information was the reason WHY she didn't remember. She had short-term memory problems because a couple months before, this same boyfriend hit her over the head with a chair and threw her down a flight of stairs, causing severe brain injuries (she was still using a walker to get around months later because of it). He was charged with Domestic Violence out of that incident, but she didn't show up to court, so it was dismissed. I pointed this out to the Prosecutor, he verified that it was true, he agreed that his "victim" was NOT a good guy, and he made me a great deal (he offered to dismiss the case in exchange for my client going to counseling, which she was already doing anyway). All I had to do was provide him proof that she was in counseling and the case was dismissed.

If the Prosecutor won't budge on anything, put it in front of a jury. Juries can't stand woman-beaters, especially when they're playing the victim card. Even though you're technically guilty, I'd take my chances that a jury would sympathize with me if I couldn't get a reduction. A jury could even GIVE you the reduction, even if the Prosecutor wouldn't offer it (it's called a "lesser included offense" and something like Disorderly Conduct is definitely a lesser included). So you have lots of options.

[brooklynite]

92. Not going to join the cheering section.

I can appreciate the emotional impact of seeing a friend/relative attacked, but the discussion seems to suggest that the only choices were “do nothing” vs “cause physical injury”. Grabbing the assailant and pushing him away and calling 911 would have kept you out of jail.

[BannonsLiver]

101. Sure, Jan.

[brooklynite]

108. Waiting for your critiques of #94 and #103...

perhaps better insults?

[PCIntern]

93. Good....

This was a different “crime of passion” you “committed”. Of course, that description usually applies when someone finds their spouse/special friend in bed with another person, but this qualifies.

And as impartial as I can be on a jury or a committee in evaluating evidence, I would acquit you no matter what the judge said about the “law“. And I’m sure I’m not alone…

And I would also imagine that if you hurt this guy that badly that this is not the first fight you’ve been in and you and I come from a generation where people got into fistfights to settle disputes, and no one went to jail afterwards. After your description of the outcome, I for one would not want to get in your way.

Please keep us apprised of outcomes….we are all pulling for you.

[TheBlackAdder]

94. Not sure if "I beat someone up and don't remember any of it" is the defense you think it is.

.

It's actually kind of frightening that someone can rage and blackout.

.

[BlackSkimmer]

95. A bit frightening.

I'm still a bit confused how he was able to see what was happening inside a house.

[Polybius]

98. I'm more curious as to how he beat up someone about 50 years younger

Grandniece's husband is likely at least 40 years younger.

[Polybius]

97. I still want to know the age difference between you and him

It has to be 40-50 years. You had to have extensive military training. Unless your grandniece's husband was much older than her?

[ripcord]

99. We are about 35 years apart in age

I keep myself in good shape, being 6'5" tall and weighing 240 helps. The only training I had is the dirty tricks I learned in 6 years of bouncing dive bars.

[BlackSkimmer]

102. How tall is he?

What's his weight class?

[Marthe48]

100. Bet the husband thinks twice

and hopefully they get couples counseling.

You'll be okay. You were protecting a family member, and it's hard to stay cool. I hope you never have to put yourself in legal peril again.

[treestar]

103. Call police instead next time

Never do that. It was revenge, not defense of another. It had already happened, and you weren't preventing it. If he was about to do it again, that would be the most helpful fact for you.