Republicans to Commence Infrastructure Projects for Constituents in the Form Of NFTs

[Baked Potato]

Republicans to Commence Infrastructure Projects for Constituents in the Form of NFTs

“Infrastructure is all in the mind, you know,” said an unnamed Republican buffoon.

March 13, 2023
Bake D. Potato

Washington, D.C. (BNN) Looking to ride the wave of an old Social Media craze *and* deliver much needed Infrastructure, Republican lawmakers will offer “Infrastructure” in the form of photographic snapshots of roads, bridges, fiber-optic cabling, and other construction projects to their constituents in the form of a Non Fungible Token (NFT) image. “These Infrastructure NFTs could have value some day, and can be traded and used as needed,” an advance GOP promotional memo said.

“Look, nobody said building highways and laying train tracks is quick and easy, and definitely not cheap, but I think we Republicans have found a way,” explained Senator Rick Scott of Florida. “We will accept construction images from all photographers, professional as well as amateur, and also some Social Media Influencers.”

Senator Scott further explained the goal, “The plan will be known as ‘Contracted Media Construction (CON-ME-CON)’, and associates will fan out across the country and snap pictures of any construction projects they spot. This could be a Kentucky farm hand nailing up a loose board on a race-horse boarding stable, or maybe a cable TV guy hooking up a satellite dish on the roof of a vacation Condo in Miami.”

“We will even accept pictures *of* pictures… for example a photographer may find some good projects in an old LIFE or Arizona Highways magazine that can be re-showcased and provide a valuable service to those Americans in need of a patriotic lift of spirits.”

“We Republicans plan to deliver real infrastructure to the American people,” Senator Scott muttered as he fumbled with an old Brownie camera, readying it for a quick project before heading home.

[andym]

1. Good satirical effort

But needs to be more cutting I think. Quotes like Ted Cruz "While Democrats spend your hard-earned tax dollars on real roads and bridges, we will have the National Archive issue NFTs consisting of real photos of roads and bridges at a fraction of the cost. Which party knows how to keep America great? You'll know who to thank when you see the large sign on the freeway touting our patriotic NFTs, while the large pothole takes out your tire."

[Baked Potato]

2. Thanks, I'll tell my publisher.

[Lettuce Be]

3. OP should be labeled as satire for those that don't get satire