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Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:02 PM

Calling my conservative parents first time after election

not sure how to respond. My sis says my dad is really depressed about the whole thing. I almost just want to avoid the topic altogether, but it's inevitable that it will come up. How do you guys handle this stuff? I hate getting into policy debates or shoot down wingnut paranoia because those discussions go no where.

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Reply Calling my conservative parents first time after election (Original post)
Narkos Nov 2012 OP
Zoeisright Nov 2012 #1
MrSlayer Nov 2012 #2
charlyvi Nov 2012 #3
Narkos Nov 2012 #17
southernyankeebelle Nov 2012 #4
narnian60 Nov 2012 #5
Doodler71 Nov 2012 #6
narnian60 Nov 2012 #7
Patiod Nov 2012 #8
Narkos Nov 2012 #12
Mme. Defarge Nov 2012 #9
narnian60 Nov 2012 #11
Narkos Nov 2012 #16
Jane Austin Nov 2012 #10
Marrah_G Nov 2012 #13
reflection Nov 2012 #14
Narkos Nov 2012 #18
Jennicut Nov 2012 #15

Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:03 PM

1. Tell them to quit watching TV.

You don't have to mention Faux Noise specifically. Just tell them there's more to life than politics and to go outside or read a book.

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:05 PM

2. Just blow it off.

 

"Yeah, that sucks, huh?" "How's the golf game?" or whatever other activity is appropriate.

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:09 PM

3. My RWNJ brother called me at 9:00 central on election night....

Told me O had it locked down, and congratulated me. He's a Faux News guy, 24/7. I don't understand it, but he's still a decent person. I think the union stuff up in Wisconsin kind of pried his loyalty to the repubs away a little bit. Anyway, it warmed my heart.

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Response to charlyvi (Reply #3)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 11:32 PM

17. You got a cool brother...n/t

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:09 PM

4. First off I wouldn't bring it up first. If he starts on about it tell him its over and time

 

for our family to move on. If he wants to continue just tell him you don't want to discuss politics anymore because it is to stressfull on the family. Before long the holidays are going to come and this should be off the table. If you want to keep talking about it you'll be talking to yourself because I will go home. I want to enjoy the family without politics. That should do it. But stick to your guns and I promise it will work. It did for me and our whole family enjoyed each others company with religion or politics.

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:27 PM

5. I am facing this exact situation.

My mom, stepdad & I do not discuss politics because of a meltdown my mom once had. Have not talked with them since the day before the election but will be meeting them at church tomorrow. I wish my mom would say something like “Congrats!" but I doubt it. The elephant will continue to remain uncomfortably in the room. Sigh.

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:28 PM

6. My advice from experience

1) don't start the conversation about the election. If they bring it up first that is fine, but don't be the instigator.
2) if they do bring it up just listen. If they go off the deep and start saying, "the county is dead," etc...

Use these phrases:
1) I hear how upset you are and I care about you, but I think that we should talk about something else that is less upsetting.
2) I hope those things won't happen
3) I hear how worried you are
4) I understand you believe "insert whatever", I don't see it that way, but I love you and I think that we should talk about something else

Those are my key phrases for in laws and rep. family.

Engaging beyond that is fruitless at this point. Try in a couple of years or 18 mo when some thing's have visibly started to turn for the better and they have had time to realize the world is still spinning. Give Obama some time to work and then showing will work better than telling.

Good luck.

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Response to Doodler71 (Reply #6)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 07:56 PM

7. thanks doodler

I will use #4.

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Response to Doodler71 (Reply #6)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 08:04 PM

8. I just got off from a call like that and used "there you go"

A friend was ranting about
1) Petreaus' resignation being some sort of Obama conspiracy related to Benghazi (but then again, isn't everything)
2) Obama not allowing Lockheed Martin to tell their employees they were being fired (I had to google that one, and she neglected to mentioned "they would be fired...IF we go over the fiscal cliff" and that Lockheed wanted to put the notice out in order to scare their employees into voting for Mitt)

I could have argued both or either, but I just kept saying "there you go". I wasn't going to get anywhere, and what she and her wingnut family was so upset about was "this country will never again be what it was".

She's been a friend since we were 10 years old, and only recently turned into an insane wingnut, so it was worth letting her rant and get it out of her system.

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Response to Doodler71 (Reply #6)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 10:24 PM

12. Perfect advice . Thanks! N/t

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 08:22 PM

9. When they feel moved to vent, all you have to say is

Please proceed, Governor.

"Governor" could be optional.

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Response to Mme. Defarge (Reply #9)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 09:48 PM

11. Hahahaha.

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Response to Mme. Defarge (Reply #9)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 11:31 PM

16. Ha!

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 08:25 PM

10. If he brings it up, why not say, "Hey, Dad"

It'll be all right. This is America. We can do anything!"

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 10:26 PM

13. Try to avoid the topic

If it comes up try to change the topic quickly.

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 10:35 PM

14. I saw my Southern Baptist RW dad tonight for the first time since Tuesday

and he immediately launched into the election. I told him "I don't mind having this conversation, but I'd rather just spend time with you. Our politics are different, but I love you to pieces." My two daughters were with me, staying quiet, just sponging it all up. He grinned and told me he loved me too and we had a nice dinner. We caught up on stuff and just left it untouched.

I don't know if that method will work with you, but if it does, maybe just acknowledge your differences, ask if you can table it for later when the scars have healed a bit, and move on. Every family dynamic is unique.

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Response to reflection (Reply #14)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 11:33 PM

18. I think that method would work w my dad...i'm going to try it. n/t

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Response to Narkos (Original post)

Sat Nov 10, 2012, 10:40 PM

15. Don't argue. I let my mother rant and rave and then came the depression. Now she seems okay.

Good luck. Conservative parents....always a fun time to be had. They are nice people when not discussing politics. But wow. My mother threatened to move to some southern state to fit in better. I guess Connecticut is too blue.

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