Do you give to panhandlers?

[Oopsie Daisy]

The other day, a woman approached me in the parking lot of the grocery store asking for a dollar and she said she was hungry and wanted to buy something to eat.

I told her that I didn't have any cash, but if she wanted to follow me, I'd meet her over at the McDonald's (just 100 feet across the parking lot) and I'd gladly buy her whatever she wanted. I drove, she walked.

I walked inside with her and told her to order anything. She ordered a big mac meal and asked permission to order a happy meal too. She left her child in the car while she was panhandling in the parking lot. -- That broke my heart. Of course I said yes.

She was happy, but afterwards I was in tears.

Her name was Louise.

I probably should have given her some cash too... but I didn't think about it.

[CentralMass]

2. I do on occasion. It is becoming increasingly harder for people to survive out there.

[jimfields33]

25. In Australia, two American guys had a sign saying they spent all their money

partying and needed to get back to America. I gave a 20 because it was funny and creative.

[Ms. Toad]

45. We did a similar thing in Las Vegas -

The guy's spiel was so creative that we gave him some money.

[NJCher]

64. creativity counts

The RG's favorite panhandler is the guy who set up a regular spot in the subway and whose sign said: "Homeless. Please contribute to my Long Island condo fund."

Whenever a panhandler asks him for booze money, he gets a nice-sized contribution because he likes the candor.

---------

Now me, I'll contribute if I have cash but I often go cashless because I put everything on my credit card to keep track of my expenditures. Next time I'll follow the OP's example--hadn't thought of that.

[Celerity]

70. Here in Stockholm, almost all panhandlers we encounter are part of criminal Roma gangs.

Their handlers (almost always men) make the women sit out year-round, even in the dead of winter. and beg for cash or e-payments (Swish, etc), then take all the money at the end of their 'shift'.

We have offered to buy them some food real time, and they always (dozens and dozens of times now) refuse.

We have personally stopped the male handlers from physically hurting them before.

Our first year here in Sweden, in 2018, at the bottom of the rulltrappa (escalator) in one of the Östermalmstorg tunnelbana's entrances, the one on Grev Turegatan (we were living in the Stureplan area of central Stockholm at that time as we waited for our Södermalm townhouse we bought to close)......

here is the entrance as it looked then (the entire area is in the process of being vastly upgraded):

..........we physically got involved with a little fucking bellend (a Roma as well of course) who was punching one of the panhandler Roma women in the face (another women nearby who spoke English said he was screaming at the victim about stealing some of the money she made).

My wife ended up sweep-kicking him off his feet after he pulled a knife and we both kicked him in the face and torso (wifey also got in a kick to his jacobs, lol) multiple times after I stamped the knife out of of his hand and kicked it away whilst he was on the ground (we both have some martial arts training, and my wife also has military training). He fucked with the wrong bishes, lol.

The coppers arrested him nearly instantly as someone else had called them over (we did not know that at the time). We testified against him in court as well. He was convicted, received a year and half or so in jail, and then was deported back to Romania (where the vast majority come from, due to the EU freedom of movement that kicked in for Romania and Bulgaria on January 1, 2014), plus he was banned for life from Sweden.

That was our only real (not counting pushing away away blokes on the lash who play grab-arse with us in clubs, grrrrr) physical altercation we have been in here the entire time, thank fuck.

It was not nice AT ALL, and the Roma woman we tried to help spit on my wife, said (the other women mentioned above translated this as well) we were interfering in personal business and that we had fucked her over, that she would be beaten by the other men now.

We no longer (obviously!) get involved with the Roma criminal gang beggars at all. It's a lose-lose situation.

[róisín_dubh]

74. Interesting...

I was punched in the face and had my phone stolen last autumn by a kid who, as it turned out, was in a Roma street gang here in the UK. His younger brother and two mates were arrested, as which point the kid who punched me fucked off back to Romania.
About a week before this happened, I was in a pub with my friend, who is Romanian (but not Roma). I had my laptop with me. As we walked in, my friend was laser focused on this old woman who was very out of place in the pub (it’s one for metal-heads and punks). I noticed the woman bumping into people, and my friend just said “watch your bag”. The woman came by us, my friend said something to her, and I just stared her dead in the face. She left a minute or two later. My friend said it’s a common pickpocket tactic, to bump people, who will then grab instinctively for their wallet or phone, giving away the location of those items.

I hate the reputation the Roma have and the discrimination they have and continue to face. But their young men are really not doing them any favours at the moment.

[Celerity]

76. The Romanian (and Bulgarian, etc etc) government and society treats the Roma like shite, thus many

migrate to the much more prosperous EU countries. Those counties and their societies also treat them poorly, so they stick with their own and unfortunately engage in organised crime far too often. Their own culture is also one of severe mistrust of the outside world, combined with a lot of effort put into keeping the in-group together. It is a pretty intractable problem, unfortunately. You see the same thing in the UK with the Irish Travellers.

[Demobrat]

3. I don't pull out my wallet on the street.

I have learned better than that. But sometimes people will ask me to buy them a bagel or a piece of pizza. That I will almost always do.

[MissB]

4. I rarely have cash

I also rarely am in a store, so I just don't see panhandlers that much. I usually do my grocery shopping at 6 am on Saturdays.

You did so well! So sad she had a kid that was hungry too.

[hlthe2b]

5. Sometimes. But I am very wary--especially if they approach me. Women with kids I will give to...

Admittedly I have a real soft spot for anyone doing so with a dog--knowing full well the presence of the dog is often part of the scam.

Or, if they are clever with their request (hustle?) There was a Native American fellow who used to hang out on 9th and Broadway (a very major throughway in Denver) holding a big sign that said "FBI" and in parentheses (flat broke Indian). Okay, that gave me a laugh and him a $ 10 spot, as I recall.

But you are smart to buy meals for them. I have in the past given out gift cards for food at Burger King or Mcdonald's.

[MichMan]

6. Most of them I see in my area are standing at the exit from a freeway to a major city street

Look able bodied as far as I can tell and standing in front of multiple stores and restaurants with help wanted signs everywhere. Not giving them anything

[Oopsie Daisy]

11. Addiction and mental issues probably keep them from being responsible workers.

But I understand your objections and hesitancy.

[Croney]

7. Her child was left in the car, and she walked away and went inside?

She should not do that.

[Oopsie Daisy]

9. I know. I thought about that later.

It was upsetting. I guess she was desperate.

[Recycle_Guru]

8. we tend to give to buskers

but mot people just holding up a sign begging.

[Effete Snob]

12. Have you seen any fake violinists?

They are a crack up.

It’s like lip synching with a violin.

[Recycle_Guru]

26. yes. we don't tive them to fakes or your nee who don't know how to play

and just use it as a prop for cash. I have to feel they are reasonably successful at making pleasing music for the neighborhood

[bdjhawk]

72. Haha! The first time I heard that

I stopped and thought “Wow! That guy is really good!!”. Took about a minute to realize it was a recording- he had his wife and kids at his feet and playing the recording over a pretty good quality loudspeaker. Target parking lot in Chicago suburbs.

[AKwannabe]

10. I will help women and some old men

Given many rides to women on a hot day in MO and cold days in AK. Once in MT a family in a parking lot.

Almost never at a stop light and I have been yelled at about it. Always get asked for a cigarette if I am smoking.

First time I visited AK I walked all over or rode public transportation and had to make a rule since I got asked so much. I can only give away two a day. And I did. The others that didn’t receive thought my explanation was right on.

I usually give to Veterans who are panhandling.

I have compassion. But I know a “serial” panhandler is different and there are networks. In CO a lot of the networked panhandlers shared rooms at Motel six and worked shifts. Met some there once.

I’ve had panhandlers refuse food as I was coming out of a food store. Never would I give them money.

I let my gut decide usually and it rarely lets me down.

[Oopsie Daisy]

14. My husband had a similar experience. She asked for money...

and he offered food. She said "fuck you".

Sigh.

[Jirel]

13. It depends.

I have a lot of practice (professional included) telling the fakes from the ones really in need. I’ve emptied my wallet and asked my husband to do the same, for the disabled guy with huge ulcers on his leg. I’ve sent out office warnings not to give to the jackass scammer who once a month chose our intersection to park his car and “run out of gas” at, and spend all afternoon collecting a bunch at the stop light. The scammers make me the angriest - they get people cynical over giving to someone, and a lot of people start doubting everyone in need.

[maxsolomon]

15. Yes.

I also buy food for them.

[Polly Hennessey]

16. I will if a pet is involved. My guess the pet is

part of the scam but I give anyway.

[hay rick]

17. More often than not. nt

[MistakenLamb]

18. Not anymore

I see the same people on the same corner with the same sign for years, using their kids to prey upon others misplaced empathy. Theres too many hustlers out there to tell if someone is grifting or in genuine need any more. I don't carry cash on me anymore unless I am going to the dispensary and then theres never any panhandlers. I used to give some if I had a dollar or two catching the last train home and it was near zero out but I don't commute that way anymore

[Permanut]

19. Old white guy here .

With a sexist bias. I will always give food, water or money to women on the street

Rationale is that it's tougher out there for women.

[BigDemVoter]

20. I used to, and I still do sometimes.

I live in San Francisco. I DO get a little tired of the national media going on and on about how "awful" things are in San Francisco. HOWEVER. . . Our homeless problem has really become a significant issue. I feel sorry for the homeless. It appears that in most of the cases, it involves either addiction issues or mental problems, or a combination of both.

What exhausts me is having to step over people who are (please pardon my graphic description) in the process of shitting on the sidewalk with their pants around their ankles while they are grabbing at passersby with their hands. I am not exaggerating.

In the last few weeks, tent encampments have had big fires; a big apartment complex under constructions went up in blazes supposedly related to the homeless setting a fire to warm themselves up right under the scaffolding of the building.

The panhandling is endless. Endless. I buy grocers from Safeway on Webster Street in San Francisco, and I have to step over people injecting drugs just right outside the door. I am happy not to have children, as I would worry about them stepping on contaminated needles. There is an old gentleman who is consistently outside this particular Safeway and always tells me he is "hungry." I always feel terrible when I see him and try to at least buy him a pre-made sandwich in the store rather than giving him cash.

And while I don't object to giving money to a random person, I certainly don't think this is the solution to help people out. And just to be honest, I have NO clue what the solution is. . . I am just happy that I'm not responsible for finding a solution, as I don't have any idea what could or should be done.

[LuckyCharms]

21. I was at Salvation Army one time, in line waiting to get a tax receipt for donations.

This was before the tax laws changed and you could itemize your deductions easier.

There was this elderly woman in line in front of me, trying to buy this little stuffed animal. She was about a dollar short, so the woman behind the counter would not come down on the price and just sell it to her. She told the cashier she was buying it for her granddaughter, but the woman still would not sell it to her because she didn't have enough money.

I told the cashier I would pay for it. Got in a discussion with the elderly woman after this, and she told me she barely had enough money for the bus to get home. I asked her where she lived and told her I would bring her home. So I drove her home. She was sweet and we had a nice discussion during the ride. Not sure I would do that these days though.

Otherwise, I'll just give panhandlers food because I normally don't carry cash.

If I believe the person is scammy, I won't give anything, but I can usually tell who really needs it. I'll just run to Subway or McDonald's and bring them back some food.

My shrink once gave me hell for doing this. he said most of them are looking for drug money, or don't have money for food because they use whatever cash they have to buy drugs. I told him I didn't give a fuck.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

22. That was kind of you! I almost always do.

I would rather berate myself for being an easy mark than berate myself for being a Scrooge.

[BigmanPigman]

23. If they are outside a grocery store I may offer to buy them some

Friuit, or something healthy. I was with a friend who offered someone an apple and he threw it at her since he wanted cash.

[ecstatic]

24. for safety reasons, no. I don't like to be approached in that way

but I don't carry cash anyway. Cautionary tale: One guy in an SUV pulled up to the pump next to me with loud music playing, jumped out the car and asked me to "borrow" money. I was at the outermost stall and blocked from view and the music prevented anyone from hearing what was happening.

I told him I didn't have cash, he asked me to use my card to buy his gas! I said no. He came back again! I said no again and then when he approached for the third time, I had a sinking feeling that I was about to get robbed. However, I think he assessed the scene and chickened out because I (nervously?) smiled at him the 3rd time and told him I was sorry?? Plus I don't keep anything in my hands when getting gas--key and card is in my pocket (tight jeans) and my purse and everything else was in the car, doors locked. There was nothing he could really do because he didn't know where anything was or what I may have had waiting in my car if he tried to force me to open it.

Anyway, the lesson here is you don't want to be distracted or pulling out money in a public place, and never park at the outer gas pump stalls.

That said, I'm glad your story worked out. I've helped in other ways but I haven't given out cash in years.

[Captain Stern]

27. I do.

I used to not give anybody that was 'begging' anything. I looked at them as a bunch of grifters.

I changed my mind over many years.

I don't give the career beggars (folks planted in the same spot every day) anything.

But, if someone walks up to me while i'm pumping gas, and asks for some money, I give them some. I don't give enough money to change my lifestyle, but it might make a huge difference to the person that I am giving it to. Even if they use the dollar I gave them to put towards a bottle of wine...fine....maybe that's one more day that they won't kill themselves, or worse.

I have no idea what they are going through.

[thatdemguy]

28. Generally I dont

I am in downtown baltimore a few days a week, and normal offers to buy them food get turned down as " they are not hungry right now but will be later ". There are a few places to get food in baltimore for the homeless. I even had a guy at a mcds ask for just a cheeseburger and I said ok, he immediately said he would take the cash so he could get it later.

[chia]

29. I keep a baggie with loose one dollar bills in my car console, so they're easy to access. And yes,

I do. I can't give always, but I do when I can. A long time ago I asked someone I respected if I should give money to panhandlers, and he said yes, that it's more important what I do than what they do with it. In other words, it's the act of mercy I should concern myself with, not wondering if they'll use the money the way I or anyone thinks they should. I've never forgotten that.

[marked50]

40. I have the same philosophy as you describe.

I give when I can (have some cash). When I was asked about this issue by a relative wondering how to make a decision when someone panhandles I replied: " I take the Pope's approach- "Who am I to judge?""

[chia]

69. There you go. Glad to be in agreement with you!

[EarthFirst]

30. I commute through a heavily panhandled area daily...

…I buy items in bulk such as lighters; rain ponchos; socks; hand sanitizer etc. and pass those to the individuals I see regularly; and know several by name.

Lighters and fresh socks are the two most appreciated items.

[Kaleva]

31. I felt compelled to give to street preachers

That was a long time ago when I was in Chicago and Philadelphia and carrying cash and change was the norm .

Noe I live in the boonies and it's a very rare occurrence when I have cash or change on me.

[nini]

32. I used to keep dollars in my car for a woman I saw every morning

She’d be on the median at a light I stopped at.

Francie was the sweetest woman and a lot of us made sure she ate and had some things she needed. I moved from there and think of her often.

So yes, I give when I can.

[Emile]

33. Once to get him away from my truck while I made a delivery.

[TomSlick]

34. I feel obliged to give money to panhandlers.

"Give to the one who begs from you...." Matthew 5:42 (ESV)

I find it difficult to ignore the bits in red letters.

[Johnny2X2X]

35. Yup!

Whenever I have cash or even change.

Here’s the thing. Even the people that are called scammers by some are still in a spot in their lives where begging for money is their best option at that moment. I always think what it would take for me to get to that point and it would have to be pretty dramatic and devastating.

Even the panhandlers some think are scammers have a story. And the fact that’s where they are isn’t easy no matter what their story.

[sanatanadharma]

36. Ram Das wrote of his cultural-karmic shock of panhandlers/ beggers in India ...

... and the impossibility of one judging the worthiness of the paraplegic vs the leper.

An experience comes to mind where a man, a traveler, approached me and told an entertaining tale worthy of the best stage actor in a traveling troupe.
Knowing the story was a fable, I nonetheless played along and gave him money for his performance, and wished him luck when, some weeks later, we we were again at that same place.

All are equally worthy of being saved; I am not a savior. Many, most, are larger-hearted than am I.

[Hekate]

37. One winter season there were an assortment of families who hung out outside Trader Joe's ...

I started to feel pretty awful, because how hard up do you have to be in every sense to put your children through that? Yet as a woman I have a lifetime’s caution about opening my purse and wallet in public.

So after due consideration I went back the next week and bought a stack of $5 gift cards along with my groceries. I gave $5 to some and $10 (2 cards) to others over the next few months. If they wanted food (as they implied they did) they could walk into TJ’s and get something wholesome for the kids. I decided I could afford it and it wasn’t for me to judge — but this way they were at least being pipelined into a grocery store.

After January they were gone. I hope life improved.

They were all Latino, which is very common in California, but these were short people and Americans tend to be taller. I wondered how far they had traveled and if they had come on some recruiter’s promise of jobs (which is also pretty common).

As for other people — sometimes I’ve been lured by sweet music and an open guitar case into tossing in a buck from my pocket. Musicians smile back.

The only time that went bad was an evening where a woman and a couple of men had an open guitar case and explicitly said they were trying to get enough for a room for the night. On impulse I tossed in a dollar from my pocket (thinking of course that they were not asking me to fund the whole cost) Kept walking toward my car with my groceries only to hear the woman scream at me about my cheapness. These were white people, fellow Americans who clearly had expectations, and I had failed to meet them.

Stopped at the gas station where a big pickup truck appeared to be stranded, and a young woman was nudged out of the cab to tell me the sad story of not having enough gas to get out of town. I could see her boyfriend at the steering wheel, and he did look bummed. I went back inside the store and pointed them out to the proprietor at the counter. Handed him cash, pointed to the pump and to them, went back outside and told the young woman to pump the specified amount, then went on my way. Again, I’ve always wondered where they came from and where they were going. If you live locally, you don’t generally talk like that — you have a specific destination in the short range, ie under 20 miles round trip, but you know that other towns in the county are 30 - 50 miles away, and Los Angeles is 100 miles off. Hopefully a few other people gave them enough more to make it down the road…

[Victor_c3]

38. If I have cash, I almost always do

They’re just people trying to survive the best they can. It must take a lot of humility to have to beg for money like that. My heart goes out to them, always.

[dameatball]

39. Yeah, I usually give them something. I try not to over analyze it too much.

[appleannie1]

41. I don't give them money but like you, I have gotten food at a fast food place and given them that.

I live on a highway and have had people ask me for food as they walked by and have packed them sandwiches, cakes and fruit along with a bottle of water.

[cilla4progress]

42. Sometimes yes.

Sometimes not.

I used to take my daughter to Seattle at Christmas for the big city experience. We would break a couple 20s and give some 1s to the many folks "panhandling" on the city sidewalks.

I could not stomach spending money on gifts we did not need, while walking past or over people in need.

I didn't care if they were "deserving" or not. Not my judgment to make.

[tom_kelly]

43. I used to, frequently

Where I live in FL, I see the same people on the I95 off ramps every day. The corners are littered with trash. I've given money to some with a suggestion they pick up the garbage and make a sign that says "I keep this corner clean." I haven't seen anyone do it. They would immediately see a lot more $, and feel a sense of accomplishment, in my opinion.

[Joinfortmill]

44. Always. I am compelled to give ...

To those who have said to me, it might be phoney, I say my giving is about who I am. It isn't about if once in awhile a fraud gets a couple bucks from me.

[SouthernDem4ever]

46. You did the best thing - buying her something to eat

You never know where the cash might end up. At least you know they are fed.

[kimbutgar]

47. I only give money to elderly people

Sometimes I encounter old people in their 80’s+ and give them money. But not to people who look like they can work.

[Evolve Dammit]

48. That is heartbreaking. Perhaps you will see her (them) again. So common today. We are not addressing

this crisis either. Thanks for your kindness.

[Wonder Why]

49. I do what you did. Food but not money.

[Ms. Toad]

50. I wrestle with it - and try to find other ways to provide support.

Sometimes, if I have food with me, I'll offer that to them. Sometimes I even bring food along when I know I'll be passing an area where they will be hanging out.

But I wrestle with my philosophy that it isn't my business to dictate how someone spends their money v. the reality that it isn't their money they are spending.

[ShazzieB]

51. I do sometimes.

We don't get that many around here, and the ones I do see are never obnoxious or threatening and very appreciative, more often than not. They tend to stand on street corners, and it feels relatively safe and easy to hand them a bill out the window as I drive by.

When I used to work in downtown Chicago, it was a different story. I would encounter multiple panhandlers between the train station and my job, every damned day. There was no way I could give all of them money, and trying to figure out which ones might actually be legit was impossible, so I kept my wallet in my purse for the most part. I like helping people when I feel reasonably sure they aren't just grifting, but the sheer volume was overwhelming.

I love the city, and I really enjoyed working there. That is one of the few things I don't miss about it.

[hunter]

52. I always pay cash for stories, true or not.

Once upon a time I was a dumpster-diving-for-food homeless guy.

Curiously, I never panhandled.

I was too shy.

[efhmc]

53. I never give cash. I keep bags of food in my car and give those away.

Also will go to fast food places and get burgers to give away.

[Iggo]

59. Food don't buy shoes.

[C Moon]

54. I do. I've also brought one guy into a mini market and bought him what he wanted to eat.

I didn't want to give him money, because he looks like he does bad drugs heavily (he's a regular our neighborhood).

[Midnight Writer]

55. Yes, unless they are threatening.

I once was homeless and yes, I panhandled. It was humiliating.

I was in a group of people last week in the yard of a home when a young lady carrying a backpack approached and asked for help. These people, who are quite prosperous, politely told her to leave us alone.

To my shame, I was silent and "went along with the group". I have been thinking every day since then about this poor woman and what her situation may be.

It strikes me that if a stray kitten or puppy had wandered up to us, every one in this group would have wanted to help the poor creature.

But a stray person...?

[madamesilverspurs]

56. When I can, sure.

And I have never once demanded that they pee in a bottle first. I've been poor, and the sad reality is that we make it damned hard to ask for help. Case in point, a few years back I was working the front desk at the food bank, and a woman came in clearly upset and wiping tears off her cheeks. She asked if this is where to ask for food, I answered in the affirmative. Then she said, "You're not going to yell at me like they did at Social Services?" Before I could answer, our director came out of her office having heard the exhange, and she threw her arms around the woman and said "Of course not, that's not why we're here." Then she took the woman by the hand and walked her through the process, telling her we'd be here as long as she needed us. I'm no saint, but long story short, I'd just rather be kind.


.

[spike jones]

57. When I meet someone begging for money, I alway think, I do not want my money going for alcohol

and drugs, so I give it to them.
I always keep dollars in the ash tray in the truck for street corner people.

[Iggo]

58. Always. (n/t)

[AdamGG]

60. Only occasionally...

I've lived in Boston and NYC and if you gave everyone money who asked when you walked around/took the subway, you'd be out of money every day. Occasionally when it's a cold winter night and an older homeless woman I have.

But, there's panhandlers who hang around convenience stores and subway stops late at night and hold the door open for you like they're the doorman at the Ritz because they want you to give them money. As a rule, it's better to give to an organized charity and with street people I most often keep my hundred yard stare and keep walking.

[Quakerfriend]

61. Yes, in the city. More than that I've helped

people I’ve worked with - something about giving to those you know means more, imo.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

62. Yes, sometimes.

Mostly I am judgemental about their appearance. I see many panhandlers with clean hair, clothes etc. I know. I know. It's possible to be down on your luck and keep up personal hygiene. But the nature of being homeless doesn't lend itself to that. So if they 'look' homeless to me, I give them some money. Occasionally I have given someone a ride too. But usually it's money. Bless you for helping her.

[Kahuna]

63. Hell yeah! nt

[V850i]

65. McDonalds gift cards

We try to keep a stock of McDonalds gift cards. We will give cash sometimes as well. My wife always says who am I to judge. I think she is right.

[barbtries]

66. yes I do.

usually a dollar or two on the onramp or at intersections.

I struggle with young people though. I always tell myself not to judge anyone but it creeps over me in spite of myself.

[Richard58]

67. It depends.

I usually never carry cash but when I do I will sometimes give $1 to $5 to panhandlers depending on the situation. I am much more likely to give money to people who are just passively standing there holding a sign than I am to someone who aggressively walks up to me and asks for money. I'm also more likely to give money to women with children standing there or if they have a pet dog with them.
The overwhelming interactions I've had with homeless people have been positive. Mostly they are very polite and grateful. But I do sometimes wonder if it is a scam. I do sometimes carry gift coupons to fast food restaurants that I hand out so that I know they can have a meal.
I did have a guy come up to me in a park during a hot day and ask for money so he could buy himself something to drink because he was "very thirsty." There just so happened to be a concession stand nearby and I told him I would buy him whatever he wanted to drink. He said I could just give him the money but I insisted on buying it myself for him. On the way over to the concession stand he kept saying that I should just give him the money for it and I didn't have to walk to the concession stand. At that point I knew this was a scam but I wanted to carry through with it by giving him something to drink. When we got there I asked him what he wanted to drink. He hemmed and hawed and finally said he wanted a Coca-Cola. I bought it and handed it to him. He mumbled a thank you and then wandered off. I noticed he didn't start drinking it at all even though he had claimed that he was very thirsty. I found the whole thing amusing.

[William769]

68. Unfortunately, this scene is all to common in America and it shouldn't be.

[DemocraticPatriot]

71. I have done so many times,

but after 3 years of COVID I no longer carry any cash at all----

but I gave $10 to someone outside of the liquor store 2 or 3 years ago, when covid was raging,
so that they could buy a pizza (so they said)...

[KentuckyWoman]

73. Mostly no but

Have given cash to someone only twice. Purchased needed goods quite a few times. Mostly my effort goes to supporting charities out doing the hard work.

Plus "the grandmas" go twice a year to give out back packs loaded up. If we score something good super cheap or free, we grab it and take to whoever needs it. There are a few good ones in Cincinnati and one that specifically helps gay teens tossed out by parents to get off the street, finish school and get going in life.

[róisín_dubh]

75. It depends...

I save up all my change for this old chap who hangs out in front of the convenience store. He never Botha anyone or asks for anything. Everyone knows him. The shopkeeper lets him use the toilet and gives him coffee or a snack. Others will buy him stuff. I once bought him an umbrella because it was pissing down (lovely English weather).

I’d someone harasses me for money, I usually don’t, but then again I almost never carry cash. I have bought feminine hygiene products, pet food, snacks etc for people before

[DiverDave]

77. Driving a truck, you

See alot of folks looking for rides. I can't have riders in my truc, so, yeah, I will give if I have it.
Mostly I ask them when they ate last. Then get them something to eat.
I've been there, never panhandled but been hungry and sleeping outdoors.
I don't judge. I feel better helping.

[DFW]

78. Rarely

It's different in each country. At home in Germany, it's usually aggressive drug addicts or alcoholics who accost working people while we're waiting in line at 6:00 AM, hoping to buy a roll for the train to work before their train leaves. They tend to be aggressive. I once had one who mistakenly thought I had given money to an "English-speaker," and accused me of discrimination because I gave to an English-speaker, but not to a fellow German. I guess I should have taken it as a so-called "left-handed compliment" that he thought I was a native speaker of German.

Sometimes, it's women from "that ethnic group from northern India who cannot be named on DU" who, on orders from their men, give babies heavy tranquilizers and try to curry sympathy that way. They are more heavily represented in Belgium, where I have to be frequently, and Italy, where I almost never go, than in Germany, but there are still a couple (estimated 2.4) million in Germany. They have a practiced routine, which we find offensive--admittedly a culture thing. A friend of mine who now lives in Belgium was born in Transylvania. His native language is Hungarian, but lived there under the Socialists, and was thus forced to speak only Romanian in school. There was corporal punishment for children speaking Hungarian in school. He makes jokes with the women when they come up to us on the street, but he does not give them money. Most of them know either Hungarian or Romanian. Some are from Slovakia, but he doesn't speak Slovakian (neither do I). You can tell when their male overseers are approaching, because the joking stops in an instant, as if someone hit an off switch, and they scatter. He warned me to never speak Romanian or Hungarian to any of them on my own, or I'd be marked and followed. He could get away with it, because he is fluent in both, which I am not.

In France, there is a practiced routine that is loudly repeated on métro cars: I find myself without work or shelter, and rather than rob people, I try to get by this way, so if you have any spare money or meal vouchers ("un p'tit ticket restaurant"--and always the same phrase, repeated in exactly the same cadence by métro panhandlers all over Paris), this is what I ask. I'll sometimes offer food, which is not looked upon kindly.

In the States, I rarely encounter them, as my time here is very limited. Airport to house or hotel, to work appointment or friend or doctor, and then on to the next city. One time, my wife was in a small store in tiny Wellfleet, MA, when a woman with a baby started crying. The store's electronic payment system had broken down, and she only had a card with which she wanted to pay for some formula to feed her baby. But with their system broken, the store now only took cash, of which she had none. My wife gave her the $5 she needed. She and I both mistrust and dislike the concept of the "cashless society," this being only one of many reasons. But while the woman was caught in an unfortunate situation, we never really considered her a panhandler. As a lifelong professional social worker, my wife has very fine-tuned antennae to detect if it is an act or not, and this definitely was not.

If a panhandler is not pushy, and does not come across as a total phony, then sometimes we give them money, but reluctantly. Germans (and resident non-Germans, like me) pay a lot of taxes, some of which support the network of government-subsidized help for just such people. My wife was part of that network for all her professional life. Her pension, with the latest round of increases, is all of €1200 a month, and most of that is taxable. No one does it for the money, that's for sure.

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

79. yes, if I have small bills with me.