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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI have a friend i've known for over 40 years and i keep evading his phone calls
prior to the election whenever we talked he kept denigrating Joe Biden.
no matter what I said, or explained about the good Biden did for this country it went in one ear and out the other.
he's a vet like me. we first met while i was on active duty serving in the Military District of Washington.
i explained that Biden did me a world of good when he waived VA fees/co pays during the pandemic. at that time I was suffering with my second bout of macular degeneration and the co pays were thru the roof.
i also explained how my mortgage payment keeps increasing due to the Trump tax cuts as my property taxes exploded beyond reason.
all of my arguments were met with "Biden is old". "Biden is feeble."
Never mind that Biden brought this country back from the brink of disaster. Never mind that inflation in this country is far below that of our allies and other countries. Never mind that Biden's economic policies have overwhelmingly helped America and our jobless rate is top notch in comparison to that of what he inherited from Trump.
I got so sick of that shit.
then he kept sending me videos of Judge Joe Brown denigrating Kamala Harris. My response was who the fuck is Joe Brown and why should i care what he says about anything? Joe Brown isn't a policy maker. Joe Brown isn't even an elected official. He's a bitter naysayer who makes You Tube videos attacking both Harris and Obama. why the fuck should I take his opinions with any credibility?
I'm just sick of trying to reason with people who have no reason.

underpants
(188,472 posts)Im sorry you have to worry about this. Ive avoided having to deal with a victory lap. We are going to my folks today. Im hoping they (especially my stepfather) are going to be gracious. He sees Trump for what he is now from what I understand so well see.
Wiz Imp
(3,501 posts)I used to work with someone who really like his show so I decided to watch it a couple times to see if I could understand what my coworker saw. What I saw was the most pathetic awful "court" show I've ever seen before or since. I can't even describe how bad it was. Brown himself came across as a super hateful bigot against black people (Yes, I'm aware he is black himself). He treated all black people on the show like shit and made references that made it clear he considered them all criminals. He showed he had either Zero understanding of the law or zero respect for it. He clearly ruled in the cases based on his personal impressions of the people and not the law. It really was sickening how horrible of an individual he came across as.
To this day, I still don't understand what my coworker saw in the show. And this was someone I really liked and agreed with on the vast majority of things.
So obviously, anything Brown said about anything would be worth less than nothing in my opinion. In fact I might go further to say, if he was attacking something or someone (like Kamala Harris) then that thing or person is probably the exact opposite of what he said.
underpants
(188,472 posts)going head to head with Oprah as well as Rosie and Ellen at their peaks. Doubled them in ratings in some markets.
You are basically paying for the one talent. All other costs are just normal production costs. The participants get paid scale and verdicts (minimal) are paid by the production company.
Wiz Imp
(3,501 posts)I include Judge Judy in that category. I especially never understood how any liberal or progressive could enjoy watching her show. She treated people like shit and didn't even follow the law even though the point of the show was supposed to be people getting sound legal decisions.
Anyway, as bad as Judge Judy was, Judge Joe Brown was a million times worse. I found out that Brown said Donald Trump was definitely not racist but Joe Biden was a horrible racist. "opinions" like that make me think he has a mental problem. It definitely shows he was a black man who was racist against other black people. He blamed single black mothers as the biggest cause of problems in society. On top of his racism, he was outrageously homophobic as well. I've rarely seen or heard anti-LGBTQ language from anyone as bad as things I've heard or read him say.
The man is one of the most vile abhorrent persons to ever appear regularly on TV. The fact the some people "liked" his show and others apparently lauded his "opinion" of Kamala Harris is beyond despicable.
underpants
(188,472 posts)Plus it sets him out as different. 🙄
yardwork
(65,394 posts)The white racists say, "See! This guy agrees! And he's Black!"
Demovictory9
(34,305 posts)His only topic is bashing Black people
dchill
(41,187 posts)whathehell
(30,021 posts)The male misogynists say "See!..This person agrees, and they're female"!
BonnieJW
(2,713 posts)Fortunately, none are relatives. I will not socialize with anyone who voted to end America.
Mister Ed
(6,443 posts)allegorical oracle
(3,965 posts)for your own mental health. Happy Thanksgiving.
Kaleva
(38,891 posts)If he was, the other person wouldn't be bothering him now
wryter2000
(47,678 posts)He no longer needs your support
Diamond_Dog
(35,793 posts)Last edited Thu Nov 28, 2024, 11:57 AM - Edit history (1)
Have they seen their orange Lord and Master lately? Bidens mind runs rings around whatever is left of Trumps. Plus he looks like death warmed over.
paleotn
(19,858 posts)We all know it's because they hate smart people, brown people, any people they can hate to feel better about themselves. With their simple brains, they think they can run things far better than those "egg heads." Trump is their champion because he's just like them. Dunning Kruger on steroids. People who just can't grasp the fact that they don't know much and feel put upon to default to those who do.
These are the people who forever have spouted uninformed, unworkable and downright nutty ideas and solutions to real problems. Their simple thinking is very binary, cartoonish and unnuanced. They're all giddy now because for once they think their kind, along with assorted psychopaths, get to run the big machine.
In a world where little is simple and nuance rules, that's damn dangerous. Best we can hope for is their ineptitude cripples their ability to do much and any impacts bite quick, hard, but cause no permanent damage. Bite enough to get the squishy middle to wake up and think...gee, that was dumb. The far left tail doesn't have enough self awareness for that, so short of them going back to pursuits more fitting their intellect, we simply have to out vote them.
A pity we couldn't just pull up the ladder in 2021 when it came to suffrage. Repukes don't think voting is a right anyway, so take them up on that. Suffrage should be based on mental capacity. Centuries past, property was an analog for good sense, among other things. Imperfect but the best they had. Today, we have far better tools for determining if we can risk giving someone the vote. Whether or not we can trust them with the responsibility of making complex decisions in a rational manner. The Founders spent a good amount of time arguing this exact problem.
Elessar Zappa
(16,295 posts)Its not about intelligence. Its about being too lazy to check whether or not the sources one reads or listens to are valid. Its about not letting cruelty dominate your decision making.
paleotn
(19,858 posts)And not checking sources is a sign of lower intelligence. Unless one is a psychopath. You might want to check them for that.
Elessar Zappa
(16,295 posts)Im just saying that theres quite a few smart people who voted for him too, whether because of racism, greed, or something else.
Karasu
(530 posts)Last edited Fri Nov 29, 2024, 01:35 AM - Edit history (1)
Frankly, intelligence has everything to do with it, especially in a post-factual society where it's more important than ever to be able to distinguish reality from propaganda. Statistics have consistently shown that intelligence and education are the single-most reliable indicators of political affiliation in this country.
ailsagirl
(24,002 posts)🤬
Elessar Zappa
(16,295 posts)Theres no good reason to vote for the asshole.
ailsagirl
(24,002 posts)or they're brainwashed.
arthritisR_US
(7,730 posts)travelingthrulife
(1,483 posts)CatWoman
(79,861 posts)and had extreme difficulty getting into the garbage truck?
i called him and wanted to know if there was anything "feeble" about that.
i got crickets. he hadn't seen it.
i sent him the you tube video.
again, crickets.
Callie1979
(522 posts)Your mortgage should be a fixed payment there term of the loan.
And property taxes are your county's responsibility. Go to their meetings when they propose an increase. We've done it in my county & its made a difference. Property values are up so the valuation are also up. But that doesnt mean taxes should increase by the same amount. This year our millage rate was lowered so our increase is about 12$ per 100k value.
If you dont want to throw away this friendship completely think of a shared interest you have and call HIM. Bring up THAT topic and talk about it. Thats what I've done with mostly success. Where I am, FAR more people are trump voters. If I cut ALL of them out of my life I'll be cutting MY LIFE & I'm not willing to do that. BUT I'd say 90% of them dont talk politics much; they're the "I've always been a republican" types. Sports & kids & the stock market are topics. When it does come up, I try to change the subject. Or point out Matt Gaetz is a predator!
TBF
(35,000 posts)some are arm mortages (we have that on our home). Our mortgage went up year before last, down last year, but I expect it will rise again this January because property insurance rates in TX are insane due to the constant storms.
Anyway, here's a basic starter and then you could find more on it if you're interested: https://www.bankrate.com/mortgages/arm-vs-fixed-rate/
Callie1979
(522 posts)They've never been a good idea. Even so, they would've adjusted upward due to interest rate increases not tax cuts.
Kid Berwyn
(19,062 posts)Your friends mind has been programmed to hate. Spaces once filled with curiosity and wonder now are taken up by evil libel and disinformation. Thanks, Putin and the GQP.
Hugin
(35,413 posts)Sentiment of all Trumpians that any service member is a sucker and loser. Upheld by Trumps stooge Tuberville (where is he lately?) doing his bidding by blocking officer promotions for a year and a half out of nothing other than unAmerican spite.
Woodwizard
(1,111 posts)I just can not justify a friendship after Jan 6 that solidly is maga.
You can have issues in politics but maga took it to a level that is unprecedented.
Just the ignorance of climate change and science not even getting into the socioeconomic issues is a deal breaker for me.
Kaleva
(38,891 posts)Right now, he's controlling you.
Be the puppet master and tell him if he makes any mention of politics in the future, you'll cut him out of your life . If course, this means you don't bring it up either.
You describe him as being a friend so there must be more to your relationship with him then what you described. Possibly this is just a minor annoyance that he does on occasion?
indigoth
(170 posts)Like hes an actual friend.
More like a closer acquaintance.
Martin Eden
(13,775 posts)If your friend has any respect for the US Constitution and the American ideals for which so many military service members sacrificed so much, I'm sure you can make the case with numerous facts and quotes from Trump in his own words that Trump spits on those who sacrificed and is a treasonous criminal who threatens to turn America into the kind of authoritarian state we've fought against.
If he tries to deflect or "whatabout" Biden and Harris, cut him off and continue the barrage against Trump. There is no shortage of ammunition.
Ultimately, he should not want to discuss politics with you. Perhaps you can resume your friendship on other terms.
RandiFan1290
(6,476 posts)I've never met a con that wasn't racist and they LOVE to let you know.
Unfortunately, many find it easy to ignore but not this kid.
samnsara
(18,381 posts)in a class i'm in. I just pity them.
Raven123
(6,316 posts)Seems he is addicted to hate. My understanding of the condition is that addicts will sacrifice much, if not all, to satisfy their need. In your case it seems he is sacrificing your friendship. He has made his choice. Maybe it is time for him to get his fix elsewhere..
2naSalit
(95,081 posts)And block his number. If he confronts you in another realm, tell him you lost interest in his ranting about negative shit and until he finds other things to talk about, you have no need to waste your time on him and his BS.
Be honest with the guy, if you do answer a call, open with that and end the call. You don't need to listen to his crap and you could tell him that you have cut off all magats and since he's one, you're done with him. He does this to be mean and you should see it as such and refuse to allow it into your space.
That's my 2 cents.
Forget him and enjoy Thanksgiving.
AverageOldGuy
(2,445 posts)You can get an app for your smart phone and a device for your landline that are call blockers. Install the app and/or the device, put his number in, and tell the app/device to block. When he calls ur phone may ring one time then it hangs up.
ratchiweenie
(8,027 posts)He's about to find out what his boy is really all about.
Emile
(32,279 posts)Septua
(2,707 posts)I had a "discussion" recently with a MAGA type that went south quickly and confirmed what I already knew about the MAGA mindset. The individual was parroting all the catchphrases you hear on FOX. Where did Biden get his money, what did Harris do as Vice President. He brought up the Afghanistan withdrawal and the 13 people killed. He's convinced the 2020 election was rigged. He asked if I was better off under Biden than Trump...
At one point I asked what news station he watched...Fox and CNN but he doesn't like CNN and mentioned Rachel Maddow (MSNBC) was a screwball. (?)
I don't know what they have against Democrats but they refuse to listen to any arguments against Trump. They listen to what they want to hear...
OMGWTF
(4,550 posts)bluesbassman
(20,071 posts)We grew up together in Northern California and after reaching adulthood drifted apart as people do, but kept in touch. About ten years ago I relocated to Texas and he relocated to Idaho. I guess he thought me moving to Texas meant I was on the same wavelength as him with his move to Idaho because along with pictures of the grandkids and scenery he started sending increasingly rightwing stuff. Funny things at first that I never acknowledged, but it got progressively worse and finally I responded and told him look, Im not sure if youre aware of it but Im quite Liberal. You and I have never had political conversations before, but if you want to do it in a mutually respectful way Im more than willing. In the meantime, do not send me any more cartoons or right wing propaganda. He honored my request and I havent received any more nonsense from him. However, it did change my view of our relationship and thats ok. At least I know where he stands and can act or not accordingly.
Joe Nation
(1,047 posts)that they didn't reason themselves into.
In other words, using reason, even sound reason, to persuade someone is useless because it wasn't reason that brought them to the point they find themselves.
Try using the same gaslighting techniques that worked on them in the first place. It's not like they are going to fact check you since they didn't fact check the nonsense they are currently spewing. What do you have to lose? Just have fun.
Kaleva
(38,891 posts)LymphocyteLover
(7,258 posts)it's hard to reason with anyone who's willingly soaked that up for years
maspaha
(425 posts)
sometimes ya gotta prune them back to keep the tree healthy. Ive personally been pruning my relationships with friends & family because I need to stay mentally, emotionally, and physically strong and healthy to face the find out phase of FAFO
even though I did not F-around to begin with.
Take care of yourself and know your emotional limitations. It might not always be like this, but for now, Im very cautious.
Baitball Blogger
(49,107 posts)He won't be happy until you think like him. Cut him loose.
orwell
(8,003 posts)...I am done with these people.
Happy Gratitude Day.
Joinfortmill
(17,139 posts)We each need to make our own personal decisions about how we handle the crisis we are in. My daughter and SIL have a 'no politics' rule when socializing with their friends. At least one voted for Trump.
I have no use for anyone who voted for him this time around. He's an ajdudicated sexual assaulter and fraudster. He's a proven prolific liar, and it seems clear he is subservient to Putin. I believe he is a traitor to the country he took an oath to serve and that the U S. Intelligence and the Intelligence of our allies have proof of his treason. We'll probably never know for sure.
Maybe you could adopt my daughter's policy of 'no politics'. Or, mine which is be polite and move on. Or, just tell him to give you a call when he's been deprogramned.
I'm not making light of this. We are in a difficult time. But, keep this in mind, they know who he is and how he acts, and they like it.
On another note, I was just diagnosed with wet AMD in my left eye. Doing the eye-jab routine.
Take care and sincerely, thank you for your service
usonian
(15,718 posts)Be strong. Enjoy this extended family of caring and compassionate people.
Fly some FAFO flags.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100219770873
Turn some magazines in the grocery checkout backwards and cover them with Pokemon Monthly.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100219770814
Lend a hand to a friend in need.
And make spaghetti and meatballs now and then.
Love makes life richer.
Bitterness makes one's life a living hell.
And it attracts destructive energy.
Luz
(815 posts)trumper. She really was my friend and confidante until she became consumed with rw hate.
I was with be while her sister fought cancer and sadly lost.
She cried to me many times about her sisters medical bills (and her own) while I agreed she shouldn't have to go broke and argued that we needed national healthcare among many other things (my friend had her safe, legal abortion when she wanted it).
I voted to help her and her sister.
She voted to hurt me and MY sister.
Fuck her.
CrispyQ
(38,997 posts)It boggles the mind, doesn't it?
We're a shallow country that likes show more than substance & our declining educational standards don't help. I remember many, many years ago catching a segment of The Jerry Springer Show & I was aghast that anyone would watch that crap much less think it was entertainment. WTF? Turns out, a shit ton of Americans not only like it, they believe it. A lot of factors helped put Trump in the White House but I'll always believe that without The Apprentice he would never have come down that escalator.
HereForTheParty
(590 posts)Did he support Trump in 2016 and 2020?
It strikes me that people are talking about severing relationships after Trump won in 2024. He's been around a long time.
CousinIT
(10,875 posts)Right now, we need all our energy (emotional and otherwise) to fight against the looming authoritarianism, economic and governmental destruction which is about to befall an ignorant electorate which voted for the destruction of its own house while we are all still living in it.
There can't be any or much energy left for toxic emotional vampires.
I for one would not blame you for cutting off contact with him. It's sad because you have a 40 year history and you are both vets and served together. But he did this, you didn't. He obviously voted for Trump, and this is what HE chose. So let him live with it.
cadoman
(1,060 posts)With some MAGAT friends and family they reach the point it's better not to talk to them.
Maybe after a year of hyperinflation due to tariffs and absence of immigrant labor to pick our crops and build our homes, they'll be more receptive...
Efilroft Sul
(3,841 posts)This guy sounds like he's full of weapons-grade cruelty waiting to punch down on others and malignant stupidity that harms the rest of us. Cut him loose.
Rebl2
(15,508 posts)Why are you still friends with this person.
CatWoman
(79,861 posts)our friendship has lasted over 40 years.
I was friends with his parents.
His mom died of dementia; his father from bone cancer. I was there for him before and after their deaths.
I loved his pets just like they were mine. Especially his out of control lunatic cat.
We had mutual friends as well. I was friendly with his girlfriends.
Whenever i had field duty he babysat for me.
Martin68
(24,906 posts)Maeve
(43,107 posts)
Have a good holiday season (Macy's Santa just appeared, so the season is official) and know you have other friends that aren't a$$holes
tulipsandroses
(6,702 posts)I've always known that my friend was on the conservative side, prone to believing conspiracy theories. He was a "9/11 truther" in the age of Bush. At one point he believed some of the nutty sovereign citizen nonsense.
Despite his nutty beliefs, we've always had a good friendship. Friends in common, we are both huge sports fans and spent many good times watching our favorite teams. So lots of good memories there. We have both supported each other in difficult times in the past. When his mom passed away after kidney failure and efforts to get a donor kidney failed, I was there for him. Likewise, he was there for me during some difficult times.
Despite him being more conservative, he used to be open to reason. Not anymore. I got him to change his mind about marriage equality. He understood rational arguments about the legal issues of marriage equality. This was pre RW social media.
He can no longer be reasoned with. Youtube has rotted his brain.
I no longer spend time trying to convince him that his beliefs are nonsense RW propaganda. Not worth my mental health. I don't know if our friendship survives. I've avoided his calls since the election. Spoke to him once after the election and he called me an elite. Mind boggling. We grew up in the same neighborhood. I said, really, 3 billionaires, including the world's richest man bought the election, but somehow I am elite? Then he went into bothsiderisms.
Haven't spoken to him since that time.
The only advice I can give is to stop trying to reason with folks like this. Its futile. There is no reasoning. Facts no longer matter.
nmmi
(248 posts)then this person is inarguably not a friend.
cactusfractal
(578 posts)It's time these fucking users realized that our tolerance has limits.
They call because they want to "put our friendship above politics"?
Let them eat static.
NBachers
(18,287 posts)don't contact me again."
No excuses needed; no attempts to "one-up" with reasons. Just make it stop. Over. Finished.
keithbvadu2
(40,915 posts)Trump belittles the Medal of Honor to praise his Presidential Medal of Freedom.
Trump calls those who sacrificed their lives for our county suckers and losers
Trump ridicules all POWs with his 'captured' comment.
Trump desecrated Arlington National Cemetery for a cheap campaign photo shoot.
Trump said 'Happy Memorial Day' to the Japanese military which killed many, many thousands of our soldiers.
Evolve Dammit
(19,827 posts)Their brainwashing was effective, largely based on ideological, total bullshit.
Hope you have a good Thanksgiving in any case, and thanks for your service.
LastLiberal in PalmSprings
(13,072 posts)Every minute arguing with a person who is proud of his ignorance is a minute that could be spent doing something that makes you feel happy or fulfilled or appreciated. Even watching "Wizard of Oz" for the eleventeenth time is more productive than wasting a minute trying to reason with someone who believes in "alternate facts."
"Never wrestle with a pig because you'll both get dirty and the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw
When I first met my sister-in-law I discovered she had "political Tourette's." We would be having a nice conversation and all of a sudden she would go off on "goddam tree-huggers," Obama, etc. The first time she did it I ignored her, but the second time I said, "I would like to have a good relationship with you for my wife's sake, but I want you to know I will never argue politics. Just know that my political views on nearly everything are 180 degrees from yours. Do not interpret my silence as agreement. There are so many worthwhile topics we can discuss, but if you insist on bringing politics into every conversation I will not visit you again. Your sister can make her own decision."
She quickly learned that any political statement she made was met with silence from my wife and me. After a while she stopped doing it, and we have had a good relationship.
BTW, I learned the "withdraw attention" technique at Seaworld. Whenever the Orcas (killer whales) would start acting up all of the trainers would just walk off the stage. After a minute or so the whales would realize that they had misbehaved and they stopped. Only then would the trainers return and resume the show.
Surprisingly, the same technique worked with the middle school students when I was substitute teaching.
Cha
(306,975 posts)Excellent OP.. TY, Cat.
NameAlreadyTaken
(1,899 posts)SWBTATTReg
(24,747 posts)I think you're doing the right thing, to ignore them, no longer deal w/ them.
Some people need to grow up and not act in such a childish manner like he is.
And you're right, I could care the least about supposedly 'Judge' joe brown. I thought judges were to be impartial and respective of both sides, knocking these two major democratic candidates is not the thing to do.
And, there really is no reasoning w/ these people...they don't listen to common sense or anything else that is truly for the better, and thus, they'll walk themselves into that big ol' mess that tRUMP has prepared for them and unfortunately everybody else.
DownriverDem
(6,735 posts)either. Their leader after saying on election night that the country must unite, issued his Thanksgiving message full of hate for liberals. It's going to be a long and painful 4 years.
stollen
(690 posts)After living overseas for 3 decades, we retired and moved to the states, visiting her on our trek to find a home. She was very bitter about the 2020 election....hostile. When we'd tried to reason with her, she said if someone doesn't like the US, to move....back overseas? We'd just arrived!
After this election, I wrote her a newsy email.
I congratulated her on the Trump win with the caveat that I am concerned that my husband outranks Trump's DoD nominee and has more experience. I also said we were going back overseas, for a year or longer, to relax and enjoy our ole stomping grounds. She never responded.
We leave in Feb. My dog is coming. The planning has helped take the stress off. I can't go through this "Trump thing" again, to include dealing with anyone who is out of their fucking mind.
sakabatou
(43,906 posts)Skittles
(161,660 posts)and email it to his sorry ass
The Wizard
(13,046 posts)Cut bait and leave. Stop shoveling shit against the tide.
Dark n Stormy Knight
(10,152 posts)seem to be rejecting logical thinking skills and the requirements of a valid argument. It's like a very high stakes game with one side rejecting all rules and the refs ignoring it, but enforcing the rules against the other side.
I just can't see how we can make them see the problem. They are perfectly convinced that their complete misses are slam-dunks and why not? The scorekeeper keeps awarding them more points!