Stung by Defeat-Romney Considers Adultery-Huddles with Advisors About Possible Affair

[HipChick]

CHARLESTON, SC (The Borowitz Report)– Stung by defeat in Saturday’s South Carolina primary, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is considering a bold strategy to reboot his Presidential campaign: engaging in a high-profile extramarital affair.

At a press conference in Charleston Mr. Romney confirmed that he was consulting with senior advisors about the best way to proceed with an inappropriate relationship.

“Republican voters have sent the message that they want to vote for an adulterous scumbag and I have heard them loud and clear,” he said. “I promise that I will engage in a world-class extramarital affair that will make all of us proud again.”

According to one senior advisor, the Romney campaign was already holding focus groups and conducting special polling to determine the best person with whom Mr. Romney should conduct his extracurricular dalliance.




http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/12/08/falling-in-polls-romney-considers-adultery/

[Historic NY]

1. Let him go to his ancient homeland in Mexico with all his wives.

[ellisonz]

8. Mittens has but one wife...

[Fearless]

9. That's a pretty inappropriate comment.

I'm no supporter of Mittens, he was my governor for far far too long (like ever is too long), but the stereotypical statement is frankly over-the-top and unnecessary.

[UTUSN]

2. R#3 & K for bwa-ha-HAH!1 n/t

[tammywammy]

3. bwahahaha

[Historic NY]

10. I'm glad someone got it..........

[Xipe Totec]

4. Don't laugh, it might just work... nt

[Stinky The Clown]

5. Borowitz. I guessed The Onion.

Both are good!

[Angry Dragon]

6. Lady Gaga would be my pick

that would show he is hip and open to new ideas

[jberryhill]

7. Adultery has been done - go for polygamy

[PCIntern]

11. "Take the pictures first, and then you can focus" said the supermodels...n/t