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Tue Jan 24, 2012, 09:33 PM


Americans, you should be happy to lose your job to help the third world. (Satire!)

How DARE we Americans try to keep our jobs and put our jobless back to work when there are people in China and India who need to make a better life?

If you've lost your job you should be overwhelmed with joy that you helped make someone in China earn better than $1.50 an hour. You may earn $0 an hour as a result but that's what dumpster diving cuisine is for! Behold the great American wealth of half-eaten apples and rotting chicken in the trash cans outside in the freezing Michigan cold! When you bite down into that half-moon of a discarded cheeseburger, remember that's worth more than someone in India makes in an hour!

Out of work Americans, stop being selfish! Would you rather be huddling by a trash can fire, waiting for the cops to come and drive you off, or would you rather deprive someone in Mexico of a living?

As you shiver in the winter cold and listen to listen to your kids complain about being hungry, it can be tempting to give into the racism and xenophobia of wanting to find work again in America. Instead rejoice in the sacrifices you are making to help the poor in other nations.

Be a good citizen of the world. Tell your hungry kids that their pain is the third world's gain.

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