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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums"rapists are often treated better by society than the victims of their crime are"
. . .
That is what bothers me to this day...no choice whether to have sex and no choice to be pregnant or whether to carry to term. I understand why a woman would feel embarrassed or ashamed and don't tell. I don't know a single survivor that told and got justice. You spend so much energy trying to prove you were raped.
From the pressure of my mom, I told the doctors it was not rape just said it was rough sex from a boy I did not know...the hospital doctors and nurses did not believe me. This was said so no law enforcement agency or trouble would happen to my best friend's brother. I protected him in fear of losing my friendship, but when it was discovered that something happened between us, my friend's family banned her from speaking to me because I was trouble and the truth never came out but I think they knew.
What followed were flashbacks, self-sabotaging behavior, eating disorders, low self- esteem, and years of self-cutting, depression, and suicide attempts.
Rape victims have to deal with rape and its severe consequences. It's something we didn't choose to take part in; for our whole lives, including people thinking things about us that are not often true and which are very hurtful, we have to deal with that. In justice systems and in many communities, rape victims hear rape is their fault far more often than rapists hear that it is theirs.
If you're lucky enough to make it to trial with a good defense attorney, they can make you look like an awful person deserving of such a thing. I'm not sure if I'd tell if I have to do it over again......every time afterwards I experienced sexual harassment at work or been touched without consent by a boyfriend after my rape I could never scream or 'fight' back in anyway maybe if I fought for justice I wouldn't have felt so defeated.
Rape is so often being seen as a minimal crime, and rapists are often treated better by society than the victims of their crime are. This is my case and the stigma of being raped prevents me to this day from being open with family and friends.
From the pressure of my mom, I told the doctors it was not rape just said it was rough sex from a boy I did not know...the hospital doctors and nurses did not believe me. This was said so no law enforcement agency or trouble would happen to my best friend's brother. I protected him in fear of losing my friendship, but when it was discovered that something happened between us, my friend's family banned her from speaking to me because I was trouble and the truth never came out but I think they knew.
What followed were flashbacks, self-sabotaging behavior, eating disorders, low self- esteem, and years of self-cutting, depression, and suicide attempts.
Rape victims have to deal with rape and its severe consequences. It's something we didn't choose to take part in; for our whole lives, including people thinking things about us that are not often true and which are very hurtful, we have to deal with that. In justice systems and in many communities, rape victims hear rape is their fault far more often than rapists hear that it is theirs.
If you're lucky enough to make it to trial with a good defense attorney, they can make you look like an awful person deserving of such a thing. I'm not sure if I'd tell if I have to do it over again......every time afterwards I experienced sexual harassment at work or been touched without consent by a boyfriend after my rape I could never scream or 'fight' back in anyway maybe if I fought for justice I wouldn't have felt so defeated.
Rape is so often being seen as a minimal crime, and rapists are often treated better by society than the victims of their crime are. This is my case and the stigma of being raped prevents me to this day from being open with family and friends.
The entire horrific article:
http://www.asafeworldforwomen.org/about/safe-world-blogs/natalie-nolt/3586-paralysed-by-fear.html
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"rapists are often treated better by society than the victims of their crime are" (Original Post)
ProfessionalLeftist
Jan 2013
OP
Follow The Money
(141 posts)1. so true
LisaLynne
(14,554 posts)2. That was an incredibly honest and brave post.
I am shaking after having read it.
ProfessionalLeftist
(4,982 posts)3. I found it highly upsetting but felt obligated to read it....
...after this woman bravely told her story. It could not be an easy one to tell. As difficult as it is for anyone to read, it had to be pure HELL for her to live. Respect.