Water doesn't drown people

[jberryhill]

People who fall in water do.

Why do I have to put a fence around my pool?

[think]

1. that's deep

[Aristus]

2. As an argument,

it's all wet...

[jberryhill]

6. Fire doesn't kill people either.

People who start fires do.

[Aristus]

29. I'm not arguing against gun control.

I support gun control. It was a pun on the OP.

[jberryhill]

32. Words don't make puns. People do.

[elleng]

3. 'Attractive nuisance'

[jberryhill]

7. Why, thank you

You're no poke in the eye either, if I may say so.

[rgbecker]

49. Keep out the neighbors?

http://peabodyandsmithrentals.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html

[elleng]

50. In the law of torts,

the attractive nuisance doctrine states that a landowner may be held liable for injuries to children trespassing on the land if the injury is caused by a hazardous object or condition on the land that is likely to attract children who are unable to appreciate the risk posed by the object or condition. The doctrine has been applied to hold landowners liable for injuries caused by abandoned cars, piles of lumber or sand, trampolines, and swimming pools. However, it can be applied to virtually anything on the property of the landowner.

[jberryhill]

52. In Texas, you are allowed to drown trespassers

It's a little known clause in the same law that lets you shoot 'em.

Shoot 'em, drown 'em, whatever.

[elleng]

53. Well, that's the Republic of Texas, I guess.

Anyway, that's not the issue, as you know, counsel: One being 'allowed' to drown or shoot someone differs entirely from maintaining a swimming pool; its rather some sort of defense to a charge of manslaughter.

[jberryhill]

54. I put landmines around the perimeter

They'll never reach the pool.

[elleng]

55. Neither will you, presumably!

[jberryhill]

56. There's a trick to it

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022227637

[elleng]

58. HA!!!

[unblock]

59. yeah texas law is interesting. you're liable if they drown, but not if you shoot 'em.

so if you see a neighbor flailing about in your pool,....







ok i'm not a lawyer so please don't take this advice!

[pinboy3niner]

4. When you're in your cups, you'll be glad for the fence

[DollarBillHines]

5. I've gotcher answer hanging...

and I will get back to you when I quit sputtering, choking and treading water.

[jberryhill]

8. I'll pull your cold, dead hands out of the water

[DollarBillHines]

23. Could you see that my grave is kept clean?

I would really appreciate it, if you could.

[jberryhill]

24. Depends

If a big line forms to piss on it, you'll only have yourself to blame.

[daleanime]

28. Just means it will be...

the greenest spot in the graveyard.

[pinboy3niner]

31. Not familiar with gardening, are you?

It will be the yellowest, most dead spot in the graveyard.

[jberryhill]

34. That's not a lack of familiarity with gardening...

...as much as a lack of familiarity with peeing.

There's a defunct golf course near my home where I walk my dog at night. We're both pretty consistent and her spot is a lot greener than mine.

Not sure what that means, though.

[pinboy3niner]

36. Turn back from the dark side, you must

[DollarBillHines]

33. Yeah, I know

That's where the song comes from (Robert Johnson)...

My grave could never be kept clean.

[pinboy3niner]

38. Your grave will be kept clean

Trust me on this, brother.

[DollarBillHines]

40. I thank you

Are we we from the same place?

If so, I think you know what I mean.

Is pinboy3niner a field name?

Were you there?
DBH

[pinboy3niner]

41. My avatar is the VN Service Ribbon

I served in VN as a grunt platoon leader (1st Lt.) in the 101st Airborne Division.

And my username is the last radio callsign I had in-country.

Yeah, I think we're from the same place, brother.

[DollarBillHines]

42. somehow, I just knew it

I never paid any attention to that avatar. There's a bunch of us, mostly undeserving.

Something about that 'pinboy' thing got my attention.

I am so glad that we are home and conversing. Who would have thought?

Mostly, I hide behind bottles of bourbon and wine.

My dear friend Colin Goff (known here as Redstone) turned me on to this site. You should have known him, pinboy3niner.

He was one of us.

But he is gone.

We could have all gone fishing.
DBH

[pinboy3niner]

46. "We could have all gone fishing"

I would have liked that.

I remember Redstone, too. You were lucky to know him IRL. I only knew him here. He was a good man.

I'm glad you made it, too. Through VN, and through the aftermath. You know what I mean. For some, it's still a struggle to survive every day.

One of these days, you and I have to go fishing. And share a toast to our lost comrades. I think they'd like that...

But you have to cut the 'undeserving' crap. We ARE deserving, and don't you forget it! That 'undeserving' BS feeling helped kill some of our friends, by their own hands.

After what we went through, what we endured, and all of the pain, we DO deserve to live good and decent life. Remember the epilogue of 'Platoon': "Those of us who DID make it have an obligation to build again...to teach to others what we know...and to try, with what's left of our lives, to find a goodness and a meaning to this life."

[pinboy3niner]

9. I KNEW we shoulda joined the SEALS!

But noooooo. We had to go Army, which didn't have the foresight to include swimming in Basic and AIT. Now we have to pay for their oversight with our bloated, waterlogged corpses. Thanks, Army!

[jberryhill]

12. But your application to the SQUIRTS was was accepted

I was too young at the time, but I thought a lot of the troops in Vietnam joined the SQUIRTS.

[pinboy3niner]

25. Them's fightin' words!

The lowliest, most rearest fuckin' echelonest troop in the most securest rearest basecamp back then today prides himself on his combat skills and would takest the most severest umbrage at your SQUIRTS allegation.

But, first things first, some of us would like to know what your SQUIRTS acronym stands for....

[jberryhill]

27. You don't get the SQUIRTS?

[DollarBillHines]

14. First thing you do is pull off your pants

Tie knots in the cuffs...

Puff air into the legs (lie back and hand-paddle water/air into the legs).

Then wrap the legs around your neck.

Works great in a still pool, not so much in open water.

I am old now, and cannot make it work in my own pool.

What were we/they thinking?

[alittlelark]

17. Same thought process as 'duck and cover' for nuclear war

......

[DollarBillHines]

20. Yep, I still keep my cuffs knotted, just in case...

but I have hell, just putting on my boots.

[alittlelark]

37. Try 'control, alt, delete'... works for most problems.

[jberryhill]

26. That's the first thing you do for the SQUIRTS too!

[mokawanis]

10. You need the fence and a water gun

for home-pool defense. But super-soakers should be banned.

[datasuspect]

11. aspirated vomit doesn't kill people

people who take barbituates when they get drunk do.

[Atman]

43. "...well, it wasn't his own vomit."

[pinboy3niner]

48. "Dagnabbed vomints!...

Get off my lawn!"

[missingthebigdog]

57. You can't really dust for vomit...

Lol

[backscatter712]

13. Cigarettes don't kill people.

People who smoke cigarettes kill people!

[jberryhill]

15. I'm telling you... The more I think about it

There's not much that actually kills people.

Sharks? Hell no. It's the people who go in the water that are the problem there.

[Brother Buzz]

16. Screw the fence, I just turned the heater off

[GReedDiamond]

18. Without chemicals, life itself...

...would be impossible.

[jberryhill]

21. Yeah, really...

...and with OUR chemicals, we just make it a little more difficult, that's all.

[Rex]

19. Liability?

You bought an above ground pool?

[jberryhill]

22. An above-ground pool? Shit!

I spent a god-damned fortune on a contractor who built me a below-pool yard!

Damn, I wished I'd thought of that first.

[Fumesucker]

47. <snort>

[ZombieHorde]

30. Holy shit, I was going to make an OP just like this one.

Smart-ass minds think alike.

[jberryhill]

35. Whoa - I was going to reply the same thing to one of your OP's!

Freaky.

[pinboy3niner]

39. But faulty floaties flounder floaters

[OneTenthofOnePercent]

44. Technically, gravity drowns most people. nt

[jberryhill]

45. Hangs 'em too!

Rope doesn't hang people. Insane gangs of loons from the National Rope Association do.

[liberalmuse]

51. You're argument is all wet.

[slackmaster]

60. That's because despite a common misconception WATER IS NOT REALLY WET.