Rhode Islanders repeatedly call cops over 12-foot snow penis

[proud2BlibKansan]

UPDATE (5:35 pm): The Huffington Post reported that the snow penis was demolished just two hours after it posted the original story. “It’s just a big pair of balls now,” Raylene Worthington, the mother of the 16-year-old responsible for the sculpture, told HuffPo.

The townsfolk in South Kingstown, Rhode Island were none too happy this week to discover that one of their neighbors built a 12-foot tall sculpture of a penis out of snow, in clear view of a neighborhood road.

Police told The Providence Journal that they responded to calls about the phallic creation four different times in two days, but did nothing because it was on private property.


Of course, it didn’t have to be 12-feet tall. But when the mother of the teenage boys who built the thing saw how people were reacting, she felt like driving the point home a little.

“They’re teenage boys — there’s worse things they could be doing,” she told a Huffington Post reporter. “It was innocent. And to be honest, knowing that it pissed people off gave us a little charge. If you have nothing else to do in your day other than complain about a snow penis, we’ll make it 12 feet tall.”


Raw Story (http://s.tt/1zQjm)

[cantbeserious]

1. Hmm ... That Turgidness Might Not Last Long In The Heat Of Passion

eom

[Coyotl]

23. I need direction to the big snow penis, please

Can't blame a snow girl for asking!

[snort]

30. Looks good.

You know what would be even better? Yeah, that's right. Uh huh. Remove those teeth.

[TheDebbieDee]

51. They didn't make the snow penis BIG enough!

That's my only complaint.

[Angry Dragon]

2. I guess Rhode Island being a small state, the people are not used to large things

cool mom

[MADem]

8. Ha ha...more likely, it was just a couple of uptight neighbors acting in a d-word-ish fashion! nt

[idwiyo]

3. You go, Mum!

[Drunken Irishman]

4. This is something we used to do...

And most everyone would just roll their eyes and kick it down or laugh.

Lighten the fuck up, Rhode Island. I mean, I could see if you had a history of being attacked by 12 foot dongs and it was some sore spot in your state's history. But c'mon!

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. We had some friends in college do this.

They lived right across the street from the college. Local newspaper took a picture and put it on the front page.

And this was in freakin Kansas. These Rhode Island prudes need to lighten up.

[ladjf]

5. This problem will go away. nt

[smirkymonkey]

6. Very ambitious project! LOL!

[SmileyRose]

7. first world problems

cool mom

[Snarkoleptic]

9. Maybe it'll go down after a snowblower works on it for a while?

[kag]

24. Okay, that's...

coffee-up-the-nose funny!

[Rosa Luxemburg]

10. What is wrong with a snow penis?

[Kennah]

26. Well, for one thing, it is NOT for internal use.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

45. Bless the woman who Rhode that.

[Kennah]

53. Reminds me of Sister Veeregina Peepilina

[mythology]

11. To quote the movie PCU

Hey, hey, ho, ho, this penis party's got to go.

[patrice]

12. How many commercials for male "enhancement" have we endured? The family should claim it's

a religious expression.

[one_voice]

13. The boys around the corner from..

me built a snowman with a big ole penis, when I drove by I laughed my ass off. Went home got my husband and made him go look he laughed too. My son came home laughing about it, asked it I'd seen it. What was impressive was they built it with very little snow.

The boys are good kids, good students, play sports, always help coral stray dogs, they were being teenage boys. Apparently someone complained in my neighborhood too and they were asked to 'castrate' the snowman, rather than do that they just knocked the whole thing down.

[Demo_Chris]

15. BS! Think of the children! What if someone's daughter sees this...

...And develops unrealistic expectations! Dammit DU think of the children!

Also, how can we be SURE that this is not a gay penis?!

[Kennah]

28. I don't think a penis cares, if it's getting the proper "attention".

[OmahaBlueDog]

16. There was probably extreme concern that it had been up four hours or longer

The neighbors most likely were seeking immediate medical attention.

[malaise]

37. See your next viagra ad here n/t

[Yavin4]

17. Aren't You Supposed to Call a Doctor if It Lasts More Than 4 Hours?

Better re-read that prescription.

[caseymoz]

18. Design flaw.

1) Most women don't like them that big (nor men, if applicable); 2) It's made out of ice, which is totally antithetical to its use.

What is was kid thinking? Is sex ed in Rhode Island that bad?

[SeattleVet]

19. Oh, my!

12-feet tall, as cold as it is? Knowing what a little cold water can do...

[socialindependocrat]

20. Any idiot can see it's just an Xmass candle! n/t

[MichaelHarris]

21. not creative at all

I woulda added a water hose for the blue vein

[davidpdx]

40. I was thinking mayo squirting out the top

Build a small pump in the top with a button. Yeah I know...sick.

[MichaelHarris]

50. you

went to strange and exotic places with that one

[davidpdx]

52. Yes, yes I did

I should tell you sometime about one of my girlfriends (now-ex) about 15 years ago. She was uptight Republican, and after she was with me for a few year, whooee was she liberal in at least one sense.

[Coyotl]

22. "If you have nothing else to do in your day other than complain about a snow penis,

If you have nothing else to do in your day other than complain about a snow penis, we’ll make it 12 feet tall.”

[Marrah_G]

46. Such a typically RI answer ..LOL

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!

[DRoseDARs]

25. The people making the calls should be billed the cost of wasting police time...

...and taxpayers' money.

[kag]

27. If they wanted to get rid of it so badly...

Why didn't someone just build a 12-foot-deep vagina on top of it?

[snort]

29. The makers of Cialis

should be jumping all over this shit its worth a fortune! Oh wait, about half of us have this thing? Never mind.

[Nanjing to Seoul]

31. i love it!

[Spirochete]

32. Frosty the Snowman

was a jolly happy soul
with a corncob pipe, a button nose
and a dick like a telephone pole

[phylny]

49. Now that was a good one! n/t

[napoleon_in_rags]

34. New skin for old ceremony.

This from the description of a 4,000 year old burial site found in China recently:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/14/worlds-oldest-pornography-3000-years-old-bi-curious_n_2687937.html

The cemetery where the mummies were found was unique in the world for its time. The site bristled with nearly 200 poplar posts, up to 12 feet high, and it required extravagant amounts of lumber. Some of the posts, painted black and red, were either torpedo-like or resembled oversized oars. The bodies lay on the sand, covered with boat-like coffins wrapped in cattle hides.

Viktor Mair, a professor of Chinese language and literature at the University of Pennsylvania and one of the foremost experts on the mummies, writes that SRC5 was “a forest of phalluses and vulvas … blanketed in sexual symbolism.” The torpedoes were phallic symbols marking all the female graves, while the “oars” marking the male burials represented vulvas. Many female burials contained carved phalluses at their sides, and the mound also contained large wooden sculptures with hyperbolized genitalia. “Such overt, pervasive attention to sexual reproduction is extremely rare in the world for a burial ground,

[MotherPetrie]

35. Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

A: Snowballs.

[GETTINGTIRED]

38. premature exasperation

given time it will be flacid...

[aquart]

39. Eh. In the old country they're made of stone.

[tarheelsunc]

41. I find it offensive too.

Human ones aren't that narrow.

[cherish44]

42. Reminds me of "Who Put the Dick on the Snowman" by Rodney Carrington

[shcrane71]

43. Murica Fuck Yeah!

Teaching our kids to provoke our neighbors instead of being, well -- neighborly.

I know tons of teenage boys that would do this, and I as well as most adults I know would think it's funny. Yet the adult in me would not want my boys labelled as lacking impulse control.

[actslikeacarrot]

44. imagine how big it would be...

...if it wasn't so cold out.



Hey-o!

[nadinbrzezinski]

47. They called 911 over that....

Oy.

[NoGOPZone]

48. It's gone? I didn't know the Jesse Helms Art Squad was still around nt

[KamaAina]

54. Was this in Quahog, RI?