Men forcing women to become pregnant against their will...

[cynatnite]

New York, June 4 (ANI): From poking holes in condoms to stealing birth control pills, some men are doing it all to get their partners pregnant.

The sex trend is being called "reproductive coercion" by the doctors and new research suggests that it is not just young women involved in abusive relationships who are at risk as previously believed.

Rebecca Levenson of Futures Without Violence, which helps educate doctors about the unique form of abuse said that women have come to tell her that their partner took their IUD out or took her money so she is unable to buy birth control pills, the New York Daily News reported.

641 women between the ages of 18 and 41 were surveyed and determined that 16 percent had experienced partners tampering with their birth control.

http://in.news.yahoo.com/men-poking-holes-condoms-women-pregnant-113419177.html

[leftynyc]

1. Get rid of the partners

If you're with someone who cannot be trusted, get the fuck out.

[Whisp]

3. that is too creepy!

could an asshole like that be trusted to be a good father?

[REP]

25. A baby isn't always the desired outcome for either

Sometimes it's more about control.

[MattBaggins]

4. True but let's make sure we have in place funded groups that can help them

If someone is in a relationship where a partner can remove or coerce them to remove an IUD they may need help escaping that individual.

[leftynyc]

6. Absolutely

I'm not even sure this against the law so I don't think police can help but if it is, they must call the cops and follow through on charges.

[MattBaggins]

9. It may be possible to charge them legally

tampering with or withholding medicine or medical devices. Must be some laws against that.

If you did that to an elderly person or handicapped person you would be charged.

[leftynyc]

16. So many states run by the pubs

are so screwed up about birth control, I'm not sure they would even charge someone. But you're right, it should be against the law in all states.

[niyad]

91. even though this article was about the situation in india, we know that it happens here, as well

(in addition to the statements downthread, I know several women whose husbands did exactly that--holes in condoms. in one case, to keep her from finishing school, in another, because he thought she could not leave him once she got pregnant).

as for the police, or laws about this sort of thing, in this country? don't forget that in THIRTY-ONE states, a RAPIST can actual get visitation and parental rights. In a civilized country, this would never happen.

[clarice]

54. +1,000,000 nt

[sibelian]

2. That's revolting.

What on earth is wrong with these vile people? Why can't they just find someone who WANTS to have a child with them?

Mind you, given the personality traits that would lead to such behaviour, perhaps that's not very likely. And not particularly desirable either, can you imagine how they'd treat the kid if something as simple as consent is alien to them?

[leftyohiolib]

5. i had a woman do this to me she "forgot" to take b.c. pill for 2 months

she wanted to get married and didnt care how she got there . she kept telling me she was tired of waiting for her life to start

[leftynyc]

8. Happened to a friend of mine

A man with a lot of money and all of his friends warned him she'd try and get pregnant and sure enough, it took only about 4 months. He didn't marry her.

[leftyohiolib]

44. we made plans to marry - j.o.p. marriage. i was going to college at the time and was going to put

that on hold but the baby died so i called off the wedding. i asked her to wait till i was out of school before starting a family and she said ok but i dont think she was ok. after that i caught her in one affair for which i forgave her and then a couple months later she ran off with someone else cause they shared the same birthday. she didnt tell me any of this untill after she moved.
we were living together and struggling financially so she said she was going to move in with her sister and their family but i couldnt go with her b/c her sister didnt want her kids to see us living together. so she move out of our apt into her sister's house( ihelped her move and she thanked me for helping). later that nightshe called me to tell me she met someone and that she and i were no more

[leftynyc]

47. Sounds like you almost married

a crazy woman. You're much better off (I know that's easy for me say....I hope you got through it with your head held high). I'm sorry about the baby.

[leftyohiolib]

50. thanks i cried for days over that baby (s)he'd be about 25 now - the baby was just past the 1st

trimester when my g.f's body rejected the baby - apparently she hadnt been off the pill for long enough that's what the doctor thought

[REP]

61. She had a miscarriage, you mean?

Are you sure she was even pregnant? Sounds like there was a lot going on with this person.

[leftyohiolib]

63. yea one day she went to the bathroom came back and told me she thought the baby died i asked

her how she knew she said the baby was in her underwear i asked where's your underwear she said in the bathroom. i went in there looked in her underwear and there was a fetus there. a tiny little baby 3-4 inches tall if (s)he could stand.

[REP]

72. Okay. I'm calling bullshit.

Assuming she was 12 weeks - at the end of the first trimester - a human fetus is 2 inches long.

FAIL.

A spontaneous abortion involves a lot of pain, takes a few hours, and is quite bloody. It doesn't drop out intact into the underwear. It doesn't look like a "tiny little baby," either.

FAIL.

Please, if you're going to ... embellish your tales of females deception, be better at deception yourself.

So. Much. Freaking. FAIL!!

[leftyohiolib]

74. it wa 25 years ago and maybe im wrong about the length but it was a fucking shock to both of us

nor did i whip out a ruler to measure the baby but that is exactly what happened. i dont give a shit what you believe. there wasnt any pain at least she didnt complain of any nor do i remember any blood. i believe her underwear was wet but i dont remember blood. i picked up the fetus and the underwear we called her doctor they told us we had to bring in the fetus. they took the fetus and she went in for examination the released her but kept the fetus.
--- why would i lie about something like this. you think i'd spend all this time telling this part of my life - in so mich detail (that i rememberanyway) just cause im bored or get some kind of kick out of this- wtf is wrong with you

[REP]

75. I'm not the one changing my story around

* didn't know GF was not taking BC
* but did know
* tricked into it
* but wanted to be a father
* medically impossible "details" about a spontaneous abortion
etc

wtf is wrong with you

There's not a damn thing wrong with me. I'd ask you the same question but you've already given me a good idea of the answers.

[leftyohiolib]

80. i didnt know she stopped taking them i did know she was using them but she didnt tell me she stopped

i dont force feed them to her nor did i check her mouth to see if she swallowed them. i thought we were on the same page but at some point she wanted to be married and thought getting pregnant would be the way to go

didn't know GF was not taking BC - she didnt tell me she stopped
* but did know - i knew she was taking them cause in a year and a half she never got pregnant
* tricked into it - i never said tricked but she stopped taking them w/o telling me. what would you call that?

* but wanted to be a father- once she told me she was pregnant yea i was fine with it but the plan was to wait till i graduated- so although i was ok with it doesnt mean i wanted a baby at that time
* medically impossible "details" about a spontaneous abortion= the s.a. did happen the ferus ended up in her underwear

and there is something wrong with you to be harrasing me over the death of my child- if i were a woman you wouldnt be going all cross-examiner on me

[cynatnite]

10. I can see how that's exactly the same...

[leftyohiolib]

29. - i never claimed they were the same

[cynatnite]

32. It's a form of rape, IMO...

It's an invasion of her body.

[leftyohiolib]

37. she went off the pill without telling me and I invaded HER body??

[cynatnite]

46. Oh, we were talking about you...

I thought we were talking about women who were forced to become pregnant against their will.

I did not know this was about you and your inconvenience.

[leftyohiolib]

48. no WE werent i made a post and stuck your nose in it

[cynatnite]

49. This is a public forum...get used to people doing that. n/t

[leftyohiolib]

52. you should do the same

Oh, we were talking about you...

I thought we were talking about women who were forced to become pregnant against their will.

I did not know this was about you and your inconvenience

[cynatnite]

53. Um...I was making fun of you. n/t

[niyad]

11. did you marry her? the difference is, you could walk away at any time. not quite the same

thing as a man actively creating a situation for a woman to become pregnant against her will. SHE has to carry that pregnancy, with all its attendant possible complications and problems (unless she can get an abortion).

ever heard of vasectomies?

[Bonobo]

15. Walk away and you're still on the hook. nt

[niyad]

17. rigggght. and how many men are actually paying child support? in how many cases is it even

awarded. nice try, though.

[arely staircase]

19. child support is the law

in my state anyway.

[Bonobo]

20. Still on the hook.

In fact, even if a woman bears another man's baby, you are on the hook.

[leftyohiolib]

36. how mary that are acutally payiong is not the point but nice try

of course mary=many

[Poll_Blind]

59. Are you for real? In Oregon, where I live, there are extensive penalties for nonpayment. nt

PB

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

82. Right, because every single man ducks out on child support

Every man is a "potential" dead beat dad or something like that....

There's a reason grifters choose their marks carefully.

[leftyohiolib]

31. no i didnt she met someone with whom she shared a bitrhday and left me for him

i heard of vasectomies but she didnt want me to have one b/c we wanted kids

[leftyohiolib]

45. no i couldnt walk away anytime - how dare you assume, without knowing me, that i would walk away

from my baby anytime like she was a peice of trash!-

[niyad]

92. I did not assume you would, I only said you could. a slight difference there.

[Marrah_G]

22. Did you forget to put on a condom?

[Mariana]

28. You must be joking.

Of course it was entirely HER responsibility to see to birth control. What a silly idea to suggest that a MAN should actually take any actions to prevent pregnancy.



If he'd been using condoms faithfully, and later found out she'd been poking holes in them without his knowledge, THEN he'd have some basis to say "i had a woman do this to me." But of course, that's not how it happened.

[redqueen]

39. Exactly.

'She was on the pill, but she wanted kids, so I didn't use a condom.'

Makes all kinds of sense, doesn't it?

[leftyohiolib]

33. she didnt want me using them she didnt like them

[Marrah_G]

34. ~facepalm~

[leftyohiolib]

40. well if she tells me not to wear them i wont - i didnt care that she got pregnant i was more than

willing to (with her) take care of any baby

[ThomThom]

70. This has been going on for along time

protect yourself don't leave it to your partner

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

84. I would have gotten the fuck out of there

And certainly not believed for a second the "Oh, I'm on the pill, don't bother getting a rubber" bullshit.

There are a lot of dishonest men out there, and there are a lot of dishonest women as well.

[leftyohiolib]

86. we were dating for about about 1.5 years (have sex all that time ) and she WAS on the pill bcause

she didnt get pregnant- it wasnt like i just met her we had a relationship and at some point ,must have been right after we moved into the new apt ,she decided she was gonna get pregnant

[TorchTheWitch]

98. You did it to yourself

It isn't her job to begin with to control your reproduction. If you didn't want her to get pregnant by you then it was your responsibility to wear a condom or stop having sex with her. Your mistake was putting the burden on her to control your own reproduction even with what you knew about her wanting to marry at any cost.

[leftyohiolib]

106. here you go blaming the victim

Last edited Fri Jun 7, 2013, 11:26 AM - Edit history (1)

you're right it wasnt her job to control it but she WANTED to use the pill and DIDNT want me to use condoms. the kind of decisions that couples make together, this wasnt a one-nighter. - ididnt know at the time that it was at any cost that was hindsight. we talked about getting married after i got out of school.

i didnt "burden" her with OUR reproduction. she wanted to use the pill cause she didnt want me to use condoms and since we were on the same page of starting a family after college(at least she said was since we couldnt afford both) there was no reason to suspect her of doing this so no reason to use a condom which she didnt want anyway. her decision her body her choice.


i did it to myself only in the same sense that a woman gets pregnant cause a man (she loves and trusts) pokes a hole in a condom. which some here are comparing to rape. it's interesting that when a man pokes a hole in a condom and gets a woman pregnant he's a rapist but when a woman stop taking the pill and gets pregnant it's the man's fault for "burdening" her with MY reproduction or for not wearing a condom (even though his partner did want him to wear one) any excuse to make it the man's fault.

the double standard over this is disgraceful

[Bonobo]

7. When women do it, it is called "choosing to start a family" and

can be done just by accidentally not taking a pill on purpose. The real difference is, of course, that women have "The Choice" and so if they do it, it is their freedom being expressed. Oh, and if a man dares to say that a woman did it, they are called "MRA crazies".

http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/triage/2008/09/getting-pregnan.html


Why are there so many unintended pregnancies in the U.S. when contraception is widely available?

Researchers from Princeton University and Columbia University suggest a provocative answer in a just-published paper in Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health.

Men and women may opt against using contraception because it increases sexual excitement and fuels romantic fantasies surrounding love and commitment, they propose.

Also, young women may view a pregnancy as a way to start a new life, escape from home and improve their status, the authors say.

In other words, becoming pregnant may hold a positive payoff for men and women even when they don’t particularly want to raise a child.

The researchers call this phenomenon “pregnancy ambivalence” and they claim it has more to do with unintended pregnancies than previously realized.

[niyad]

12. men have a choice, too, and you know it. they can walk, any time, as so many do.

what that study talks about is not the same thing, and you know it. but, nice try at the usual deflection.

[Bonobo]

14. "Ooops I forgot my pill"

Walking will not help with that scenario.

[niyad]

18. please, men do it all the time and you know it. but keep up the "poor, victimized men" meme.

THEY are not the ones being forced into pregnancy against their will. they can walk any time, and do. keep trying though.

[REP]

21. He can walk away from the relationship after the first "I forgot"

Missing one or two Pills isn't guaranteed pregnancy, but if someone thinks it's a red flag, it probably is. Either wrap that rascal with condoms kept under lock and key, or better yet, walk out of the relationship.

[Bonobo]

24. Who would do such a thing?

A forgotten pill CAN look like an accident.

[REP]

26. It can be an accident.

Responsible people in adult relationships take additional precautions.

Grown men who don't want to be fathers buy their own condoms.

If it feels like a red flag, it probably is.

[leftyohiolib]

41. she didnt forget 1 or 2 days she stopped taking them without telling me

[REP]

62. Men can be responsible for birth control if they are worried about becoming fathers

Strange idea, I know, but true.

[leftyohiolib]

65. yes just as women and i was fine with becoming a father. she didnt like condoms and didnt want

me to use them. she liked b.c. pills and prefered that form of b.c.. people here seem to think that b/c im a male that im a bastard when it comes to this. but this is how WE that's WE decided to handle our sex life. SHE liked the pill and DIDNT like condoms and the pills worked for as long as we were together untill she stopped taking them without telling me

[REP]

71. But you just said you were fine with becoming a father ... so I don't see how you were tricked

You made a whole bunch of choices, ultimately ending with you stating repeatedly that you were happy with idea of becoming a father and that you cried over a very, very early spontaneous abortion - none of this sounds as though you were tricked into fatherhood by a deceitful woman who never let on about her intentions. So I don't get what you're complaining about

And if you really didn't want to be a daddy, you could have a) found another partner or b) used a condom anyway. You know, choices. You can made them too when it comes to reproduction. Your fertility is literally in your own hands.

[leftyohiolib]

77. well i didnt say i was tricked (although i was ) and when she told me i was ok with being a father

i was going to school at the time and although i was ok with being a father i didnt necessarily want to be one at that time. that's why she was on the pill which was HER decision not mine she didnt want me to use a condom which was HER decision not mine. since the pill was working for both of us there was no reason to be doubling up on the b.c.. if she got pregnant fine then i would be a father i wouldn't force her to have the baby (although that's apparently what she wanted) nor would i force an abortion nor would i have left her.
but she went off the pill and didnt tell me.

i WAS ticked but what she wanted, i believe, was married and i think she thought that getting pregnant would do it and it would have if the baby had lived and im not complaining it was along time ago.

[LanternWaste]

64. I can certainly understand the visceral and petulant desire to blame everyone other than oneself...

I, as a male, have the absolute choice to not begin a family-- a choice that cannot be taken away. However, though I may engage in behavior which then invalidates the relevancy of that choice, that behavior is/was my choice, and was at worst, merely enabled by a partner.

However, I can certainly understand a visceral and petulant desire to blame everyone other than me should my decision to engage in intimate behaviors remove that choice from reality. I can also empathize with the melodramatic self-martyrdom and crosses we hang ourselves from (e.g., implying that those who disagree with a position are be default, people who would also call one an "MRA Crazy).

It's a convenient way to rationalize our behavior and certainly absolves one of much responsibility in their decisions.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

83. One can also think they are engaging in an honest relationship

Fool me once, I guess, eh?

[MadrasT]

81. If a man knows he doesn't want to start a family...

...why wouldn't he always wear a condom?

I know several men who do not under any circumstance want to "accidentally" become fathers. And they all wear condoms. Every time, no exceptions. (No matter what kind of birth control the woman is or is not using.)

"The pill" also does not do anything to protect against STDs.

Condoms are a smart choice for a lot of reasons.

[niyad]

93. of course, if a man is serious about never having children, there are vasectomies. condoms are

NOT 100% failure-proof.

[Starry Messenger]

13. This should be an assault charge.

[Xithras]

23. I used to know an ass who did this to his wife TWICE.

She couldn't take the pill for some health reason and he refused to get a vasectomy. She was "done" after one baby, but he had other ideas and started poking holes in the condoms. He was "done" after baby #3 and admitted that he'd done it on purpose. He thought it was FUNNY and didn't see a thing wrong with it.

The truly sad part is that, the last I heard, they're still together today. She was furious when she found out, but not furious enough to actually leave him.

[exboyfil]

104. I have been married 25 plus years

and my wife is the only woman that I have ever been with. Women relying on men to use condoms to avoid pregnancy is simply insane. At the best you have a failure rate related to condoms (my wife has taken morning after pills twice because of this). This is with me having the best intentions (slippage and breakage do happen). One reason I have a vasectomy scheduled for this month (should have done it sooner but my wife has resisted it and frankly I am something of a coward when it comes to surgery).

At my age it would be unconscionable to bring a child into the world.

When you consider STDs as well (a heck of a lot easier to get than pregnant) then I think any woman trusting an unknown partner is insane (see above plus intentional removal of the condom during sex). Obviously same applies to the man, but controlling what happens to the condom is a lot more controllable by the man.

Also a final word use named brand condoms (the one that begins with a T). Our scariest incident was with a non-named brand condom.

[Shrike47]

27. I knew a woman whose husband forcibly impregnated her to keep her dependent.

This was before abortion was legal. He realized she was going to leave him and, basically, raped her. Marital forced sex was also legal in those days.

We forget.

[galileoreloaded]

30. delicious popcorn thread !! nt

[redqueen]

38. This is a serious issue. More and more states are reducing access to abortion.

Thanks for the demonstration. This, as well as the whataboutery posts, speaks volumes.

[galileoreloaded]

42. serious issue? where, exactly?

in SE Asia where ANI (the stories source) reports from?

where support and custody laws resemble the 1800's? that applies to abortion rights in the US how?

despite the lazy pile on to the "non-issue" that this post is driving, i seriously doubt self-reporting by any gender in 2013 America.

the proper thing to do is delete your post, cause thisaintaboutthewommenz in our culture (i saw your edit) either.

your limited knowledge of human nature and gender issues needing more diligence perhaps.

[redqueen]

43. Keep digging.

http://www.acog.org/About%20ACOG/News%20Room/News%20Releases/2013/Reproductive%20Coercion%20Prevalent%20Regardless%20of%20Socioeconomic%20and%20Educational%20Background.aspx

Please, do go on.

[galileoreloaded]

57. hahahahahahaha what a stellar organization of rich one percenters!!! (technically i am one too so i

smell my own.....just a browse on their advocacy page was a hoot!

"Supports immediate suspension of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) required implementation of ICD-10, and re-evaluation of the penalty program timelines associated with the Medicare health IT programs underway."

plus these treats

"We support repeal of:

The Independent Payment Advisory Board (IPAB).

Provisions that omit ob-gyns from Medicaid and Medicare primary care payment increases.

The HHS Secretary’s authority to overrule the AMA/Specialty Society Relative Value Update Committee (RUC), through which medical services are valued.

The budget neutral value-based payment modifier which will reallocate Medicare payment among physicians.

Federal recognition of and reimbursement to untrained midwives delivering babies in out-of-hospital settings.

We insist that any health reform include:

Meaningful medical liability reform.

Repeal of the Medicare Sustainable Growth Rate (SGR) formula.

I do love our interactions so much. very entertaining!

[BainsBane]

94. Pick up a newspaper

What an absolutely ridiculous post. How is it possible to lack such basic knowledge of politics in this country? https://www.google.com/search?q=abortion%20restrictions%20in%20the%20us&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47534661,d.aWc&biw=1024&bih=643&um=1&hl=en&authuser=0&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iw&ei=AjmxUdyUFJP_yQHQwoHQAw

If you can't support something as basic as a women's right to choose, what's the point of even pretending?

[niyad]

96. so because this was a report about india, we are not supposed to care? seriously, indian women

don't matter? is that what you are saying? it happens in india, it happens here (as a number of posts indicated), it happens everywhere. your lack of concern is duly noted, as usual.

[BainsBane]

97. keep quiet

You lack his extensive command of human nature and gender relations. No wimenz allowed to talk here.

[niyad]

99. I know, how silly of me not to bow to his demonstrated superior wisdom.

[LanternWaste]

66. We certainly advertise our character in what we choose to trivialize.

We certainly advertise our character in what we choose to trivialize.

(insert rationalization here...)

[galileoreloaded]

68. Totally agree

And couldn't agree more.

[cynatnite]

35. It's a form of rape...

It's an invasion of her body against her will.

It's not even in the same league as "the man became a father against his will". His body isn't being invaded against his will.

[Poll_Blind]

51. A female acquaintence of mine recently headed off to a different state to do this to a man.

Jill - Girl moving to a different state, hardly know her
Pam - Ex-girlfriend of mine, still really good friends and we still live together. Friend of Jill's

This happened like 3-5 weeks ago, maybe a little longer. I hardly know Jill but Pam had been telling me that Jill had been working out a lot, dieting and doing a bunch of crunches and butt exercises so she had a super-toned ass. Pam, another female friend, my baby mama and I are all working out right now and trying to get sexy for the summer so Jill's ass and her exercises crept into conversation quite a bit. Anyway, Pam says I can check out Jill's ass and find out what she's doing exercise-wise if I help her get some of Jill's stuff moved.

I have an excellent ass and I just have to see this mythic ass of Jill's in person.

So Pam and I are driving an old beater truck she has on the way to Jill's house and we're talking about butt crunches and shit like that when I realize we're doing this a week early and I ask Pam why the date got moved up. Pam gets really quiet and I can tell she's getting pissed off but I have no fucking idea why.

She then cryptically says something like "All of us disagree with why Jill's moving to (different state). She's doing it for a man."

Okay, whatevs. I ask all the usual questions and it turns out the man is someone Jill dated briefly in high school and hadn't seen for like 15 years, only to dial him up on the internet and start a long-distance relationship with him...intentionally...and for whatever reason. So she's moving down there to continue dating him. Odd, because she's got two little kids and her leaving early means she's even having to pull one of them out of school before the year finishes. So she's moving down there in a hurry to be closer to a man she's just started dating.

Like I said, whatevs.

So we get there and the moving we're required to do is actually really tough. Involves moving a giant couch and a full futon down a thin windy staircase. It was murder and so I forget all about checking out Jill's ass and focus on not winding up dead under a couch. The whole time Jill's drinking beer and her two little beautiful kids are running around nekkid looking all new and being completely unaware of how valuable their blemishless existences are or the kinds of life experiences which make mamas start drinking beers at 11am.

Jill, slightly buzzed, segues into an unconvincing excuse about why she has to move down there a week early then moves onto something else in conversation. The reason why I say unconvincing is because the explanation was so convoluted it was clearly a lie (or something like it) being made up by a semi-drunk person.

Back in the loaded truck driving away, I ask Pam what Jill was going on about and I see her hands tighten up on the steering wheel again. She then lets me know that Jill made it known that she's moving down there so she can fuck what's-his-name and get preggers. The exercise, the ass-crunches for the last month or two- the whole purpose of that is so he'll want to tap it so she can get a third baby and, hopefully, a daddy who can support her and her kids like the first two babydaddies can't. The dude has no idea whatsoever.

Ouch.

I actually called bullshit on her because I know she doesn't know Jill that well, either. Then she goes into an explanation about how Jill's closest friends (who she knows really, really well) have been relaying this information to her, including a number of anecdotes she relays which make it unambiguous that Jill is heading down there just so she can trap her sorry ass another man, hopefully a good one this time, with a baby. The anecdotes not only make it 100% clear what's going on but that Jill also might be...a little crazy.

One heartening thing to come out of this is that this sort of man-trapping technique is apparently as reviled among women (at least the ones I hang with) as it is among men. Pam basically said any time a single woman does this it gives all women a shitty name- and she's right. Jill's best friend in town apparently told her point blank that if she did this and had a third baby by a different daddy and especially under these sort of circumstances that, you know, some people would consider that kind of trashy.

Jill's response, allegedly while staring off in the distance dreamily? "Maybe I'm a little trashy like that."

Now I have no idea who all of you are out in DU-land or where you grew up or what life-experiences you have had. But where I come from, and where I've been, that quote above is like the creepiest, scariest motherfucking ending to a horror story for men, possible.

Now, this is not the first time I've heard of this happening. Not by a long shot. But outside of a conversation I heard on the bus a month or two before that, it had been probably 5 years before I'd heard of a situation like that in person.

PB

[NaturalHigh]

88. Jill sounds kind of crazy.

[lumberjack_jeff]

55. Crimes involve motive and opportunity.

Motive: who is more motivated by a "surprise" pregnancy? Child support in my state is collected by the state, and you can't have a drivers' license if you don't pay.
Opportunity: Given the array of contraceptives available to each partner
Women:
Emergency Contraceptive
Birth Control Pills
Female Condom
Cervical Cap
Fertility Awareness Method
Injectable Contraception
Contraceptive Film
Intrauterine Contraception
Contraceptive Foam
The Patch
Contraceptive Implant
The Ring
Contraceptive Sponge
The Shield
Contraceptive Suppositories
Diaphragm

Men:
Condom

Note that only a few of her methods are apparent to him, it's obvious that it would be far easier for her to commit reproductive fraud, and since only she can choose to abort the pregnancy, his coercive efforts would ultimately be pointless.

The OP doesn't pass the giggle test.

[cynatnite]

58. Okay, so you don't think women aren't forced to be pregnant against their will...

despite what this research says.

[lumberjack_jeff]

67. Too many negatives, can't parse.

I think that the "unique form of abuse" described in the OP is exactly that - unique.

Given the realities, it can't be common.

Speaking of the flaws of data collection... 641 people? I recently conducted a similarly rigorous survey and have concluded that 100 percent of people in the world live at my home address.

[galileoreloaded]

85. this isnt research......

its a declaration from what appears to be India or SE Asia. sorry.

[niyad]

100. you forgot VASECTOMY.

[lumberjack_jeff]

101. I didn't forget vasectomy nor did I forget tubal ligation.

Permanent contraception is outside the scope of this conversation.

[niyad]

102. no, it isn't. but you just keep trying.

[lumberjack_jeff]

103. Perhaps you have a point. Maybe the women in the OP should have tubal ligation to prevent coercion.

[redqueen]

56. I wonder if anyone is surprised by the posts about "crazy" or "trashy" women as responses to this OP

And posts treating it as a laughing matter ("popcorn", "giggle test&quot .

I hope not, and I hope the significance is not lost on most, either.

[Sheldon Cooper]

60. Somehow it always gets back around to the poor poor men, doesn't it?

[redqueen]

69. Yes, somehow. nt

[Squinch]

79. And all that abuse they take from the women who want to ensnare them.

Because they don't want to wear a condom, yet they don't want a child.

It's so sad for them. The treachery is all around.

[niyad]

89. and it took about 30 seconds longer than I figured it would.

[niyad]

95. and the absolute lack of concern for the women's forced pregnancy is appalling. it's all about

the men!!!!!

[aquart]

73. Those men should be forcibly sterilized.

I'm really, really basic.

[In_The_Wind]

76. I would walk out on him!

[Butterbean]

78. I have had men admit this twice at work.

One was a married couple, the other were young 20-somethings who were dating. Both men had poked holes in the condom and thought it was funny. Both admitted to it and laughed about it in the delivery room, and their female partners laughed too. I was horrified and squicked out but kept my poker face on. This was in the last 10 years.

Conversely, when I wanted children and my husband wasn't ready, I had women coming out of the woodwork telling me to "just stop taking" my pills. I told them that I wouldn't do that, because it was lying by omission to my husband, and just plain skeezy. They didn't see anything wrong with it, and several of them told me that some or all of their children had been conceived that way.

My SIL got pregnant "accidentally on purpose" by "forgetting" a few of her pills.

Birth control tampering happens all. the. time.

[NaturalHigh]

87. Seriously? Why?

Back in my "dating years" this would have been the last thing I would ever have done.

[niyad]

90. it is all about control--keeping the woman dependent, making sure she can't leave, a whole

host of sick, twisted, perverted, woman-hating reasons.

[alp227]

105. The media has to call this what it is: RAPE.

Because the type of sexual contact occurring is WITHOUT CONSENT!

Julian Assange is accused of doing THAT in Sweden. Where's the concern about this stuff happening elsewhere?