Michele Bachmann Figures Why Not, Introduces Homosexual-Beheading Bill

[iandhr]

WASHINGTON—Saying that she’ll be gone soon anyway so she might as well, Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann introduced H.R. 259: The Homosexual Decapitation Act, which would give the United States government legal authority to behead any gay U.S. Citizen. “I figured, eh, why not; I’m not running for reelection in 2014, I have nothing to lose, and I’ve been sitting on this bill for nearly five years, so what’s it going to hurt to finally throw it into the mix,” Bachmann said of the piece of legislation which, if passed, would create Homosexual Decapitation Centers throughout the country where handcuffed gay people would be taken to have their heads chopped off. “I’m also planning on introducing a Hang All The Muslims bill, the Abortion Doctor Castration Act, and H.R. 264, which would allow me to rip the throat out of any citizen who doesn’t believe in creationism. Rip it out with my teeth.” At press time, every new piece of legislation introduced by Bachmann had received more than 10 Republican cosponsors.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/michele-bachmann-figures-why-not-introduces-homose,32641/

[longship]

1. Why not just go for it? Love The Onion!

R&

[Aerows]

2. I almost missed that it was The Onion

Because she's so bat shit crazy, it's an insult to bat shit to call her that.

[gordianot]

5. Historically guanno had uses in making gun powder and was valuable, Bachmann has no value.

[hlthe2b]

3. whatever will the Onion do without Bachmann's lunacy...

Oh, yeah, they have the entire rest of the RETHUGs to focus on--particularly Gomert, the gomer.

[iandhr]

4. I am sure...

... they are disappointed because Bachmann gave them such good stuff.

[libodem]

6. Funny Onion

Marcus goes first!

[siligut]

7. But keep the good-looking ones as slaves

Thereby reducing the rent boy tab.