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Tx4obama

(36,974 posts)
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:12 AM Jun 2013

A sad night here tonight for me sipping on some of that fairly new Captain Morgan Black Spiced Rum


The rum was a Christmas present from a good friend. One that is still alive thank goodness. And until tonight I left the bottle on the kitchen counter unopened.

If you don't know about spiced rum, see the video below...



I know that lots of folks here on DU post when they are sad or have family medical problems - I've never been one to do that in the past - and since I'm sipping rum tonight I probably should NOT be posting this this evening either.

I'm not posting this for replies or condolences... I think it is more just for me to be able to talk (to vent what I'm thinking) into the air... to someone... or perhaps that someone is just me.

The past few years I've connected with one of my aunts on a very deep level (my mother's only sister) - an aunt that I grew up with but was not very close to in my younger years. The past few years we've been each others sounding board - talking to each other several times a week - trying to help each other through the bad times.

On Wednesday she was taken off of her ventilator - she breathed on her own for twenty-fours hours before she left this world on her own terms.

Before this last incident she had been sent to a nursing home by her doctor for physical therapy and was about to go home any day - then out of the blue she fell on the floor and they think she was unconscious for over ten minutes - when a nurse discovered her she had no vitals and they brought her back to 'life' - rushed her to the hospital and for a week she was in a an unresponsive coma. We all hoped and prayed.

I a made list this evening of the names of people that I've known on this planet that are now gone - the total came to 29 souls.
I'm only 54 years old. The majority of people that I have known (that I've been the closest to) are no longer walking on this earth (that is a scary thing).

So, here I sit - another one of the 'great persons' that I've known in my life is gone.
And she really was great.
Not great as defined by most people - she was not famous or rich. Articles where never written about her and not very many people in the world even knew who she was outside of her neighborhood or the small town that she lived in.
But her heart was HUGE.
She never judged anyone due to their political leanings, race, sexual orientation, or anything else.
To me she was one of the greatest people that ever walked on this earth.

So, to my dear hippie aunt of the 60s that refused to ever judge folks or become cynical - thank you for being in my life...

R.I.P. ... I love ya.


p.s. Please excuse any typos or sentences that might not make sense - like I said, I've been sitting here sipping rum - I'm sure some of ya'll know what that is like.

p.s.s. She requested to be cremated with no service - no memorial - no rosary read - so from me to her this will be the only words spoken in a public forum.

p.s.s.s. I originally post this in the Lounge, but since I really don't ever post in the Lounge I deleted it and posted it over here in General Discussion - if anyone has a problem with that then please let me know. Please don't alert on this post cause it will really hurt me and will probably piss me off

38 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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A sad night here tonight for me sipping on some of that fairly new Captain Morgan Black Spiced Rum (Original Post) Tx4obama Jun 2013 OP
my condolences, Tx4obama Skittles Jun 2013 #1
I'm sorry for your loss. napoleon_in_rags Jun 2013 #2
I feel honored to have read about this person defacto7 Jun 2013 #3
I'm so very sorry. dkf Jun 2013 #4
Thanks Tx4obama ... so sad. ucrdem Jun 2013 #5
You are a great person, Tx4obama. JDPriestly Jun 2013 #6
People come and people go Summer Hathaway Jun 2013 #7
It's never easy, is it? mokawanis Jun 2013 #8
I'm so sorry Tx4Obama LeftInTX Jun 2013 #9
my condolences to you azurnoir Jun 2013 #10
So sorry for your loss, Tx4obama. Granny M Jun 2013 #11
I'm sorry for your loss, Tx4. pacalo Jun 2013 #12
I am so very sorry, my friend Rhiannon12866 Jun 2013 #13
So sorry for your loss Tx4obama octoberlib Jun 2013 #14
Feel that way about my xxqqqzme Jun 2013 #15
Sorry, Tx. I wish I could fly down and give you a hug. So (((HUG)))) freshwest Jun 2013 #16
I'm so sorry for your loss BainsBane Jun 2013 #17
I'm sorry, Tx4obama. intheflow Jun 2013 #18
A couple of things I forgot to mention in the OP... Tx4obama Jun 2013 #19
Thanks for adding this info. MsPithy Jun 2013 #20
. In_The_Wind Jun 2013 #25
Tx, I am deeply sorry for your loss... Firebrand Gary Jun 2013 #21
So sorry Tx4obama life long demo Jun 2013 #22
your tribute in words comes right from the heart tomm2thumbs Jun 2013 #23
So sorry to hear that. Kath1 Jun 2013 #24
nice tribute.. DCBob Jun 2013 #26
I'm so sorry for your loss.... a kennedy Jun 2013 #27
I read what you had to say. I wish you well. n/t Laelth Jun 2013 #28
K&r... spanone Jun 2013 #29
Sorry for your loss, Tx4obama Melissa G Jun 2013 #30
my condolences to you nt steve2470 Jun 2013 #31
How about I Rec. it instead? Lady Freedom Returns Jun 2013 #32
Great post, Star Member Tx4obama. My hat's off to you. Nimajneb Nilknarf Jun 2013 #33
Sorry for your loss beemer27 Jun 2013 #34
Sorry to hear about this news. Major Hogwash Jun 2013 #35
Sweet, Tx Cha Jun 2013 #36
My best to you. nm rhett o rick Jun 2013 #37
I've heard it said that you should not think applegrove Jun 2013 #38

napoleon_in_rags

(3,991 posts)
2. I'm sorry for your loss.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:19 AM
Jun 2013

I know you're not looking for condolences, just letting you know that you are heard here.

PEace!

defacto7

(13,485 posts)
3. I feel honored to have read about this person
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:21 AM
Jun 2013

and to be able to share my sympathy and even empathy with you at such a time. There is nothing more special than a friend that you can have such a strong connection.

Be well and let the memories carry you.

JDPriestly

(57,936 posts)
6. You are a great person, Tx4obama.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:31 AM
Jun 2013

I believe that you lead the Democratic group here at DU and do a good job of it.

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your aunt. You are too young to have experienced so much grief. We are all thinking of you tonight, and we are so grateful for all you do on DU.

Thanks for being you.

Summer Hathaway

(2,770 posts)
7. People come and people go
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:31 AM
Jun 2013

They pass through our lives, often unaware of the impact they have had, the impressions they have made - the gifts of spirit they have bestowed.

But none could wish to be remembered in words more eloquently than you have spoken, or in thoughts more lovingly expressed.

What an incredible tribute to "a great person".

Peace to you and your family. And thank you for sharing your aunt with us all.



mokawanis

(4,434 posts)
8. It's never easy, is it?
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:35 AM
Jun 2013

I'm the same age as you, so I know that as we get older the list of loved ones we've lost gets longer every year. It just sucks, and there's nothing we can do about it, except grieve and hold on to the memories. I think what you've posted here is a wonderful tribute to your aunt. I'm sorry that she passed.

LeftInTX

(24,560 posts)
9. I'm so sorry Tx4Obama
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:40 AM
Jun 2013

Your aunt sounds like an awesome lady and good friend.
I lost my only aunt to ovarian cancer 10 years ago. I was closer to her than my mother.

Granny M

(1,395 posts)
11. So sorry for your loss, Tx4obama.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:51 AM
Jun 2013

She sounds like a very special woman.

I am 59, and understand what you mean about losing so many of the people we have known. Take care.

pacalo

(24,721 posts)
12. I'm sorry for your loss, Tx4.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:57 AM
Jun 2013

Your aunt must have been a wonderful woman to know. It's heartbreaking to lose someone close to you.



You're pretty wonderful, too.

Rhiannon12866

(203,010 posts)
13. I am so very sorry, my friend
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 04:05 AM
Jun 2013

I've been there, myself, and I care and understand. Since I lost my mother, also taken off a ventilator that she was on because of an accident, I have felt much the same way. It was such a shock and made me realize the extent of my losses, as well. I was very close to my grandmother (who lived to 97), both my parents' sisters, my Dad and now my mother. I know that these things happen in life, but it's really tough to accept and I struggle with it. Please let us know how you are and know that I sympathize and care...

xxqqqzme

(14,887 posts)
15. Feel that way about my
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 04:20 AM
Jun 2013

mother's parents - Gramps & Grandmother. They left a big empty space in my heart. My kids and I share memories of them from time to time. We can laugh and smile and they live once again. It is hard to lose an important person. Your memories will sustain you.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
16. Sorry, Tx. I wish I could fly down and give you a hug. So (((HUG))))
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 04:22 AM
Jun 2013

You have impressed me on this board, especially when you post like this. She must have been a very special person to have been one of the greats in your life.

Just feel the moments you most enjoyed, laughed with her, felt love from her. She can be alive with you only in those thoughts, not the loss, or the state of not being, where she was not in your life and is not now.

Thats my only advice.

Take care tonight.






Tx4obama

(36,974 posts)
19. A couple of things I forgot to mention in the OP...
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 04:41 AM
Jun 2013

My aunt was a Union Stewart for Owens-Illinois Glass Company in Illinois (the same company that my grandfather was a 'water-boy' that worked with a mule in the early 1900s)

She was PRO-union - PRO-workers!

She was a victim of domestic violence - but overcame the abuse! - she eventually kicked her ex-husband to the curb!

She was a high school drop out but went on to take college courses after getting her GED and obtained college credits.

I am very proud of her.



MsPithy

(809 posts)
20. Thanks for adding this info.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 05:06 AM
Jun 2013

She deserves to be recognized for these huge accomplishments.

Surviving domestic violence and throwing the bum out is courageous. Bully for her! I'll lift a glass to her tomorrow night.

Firebrand Gary

(5,044 posts)
21. Tx, I am deeply sorry for your loss...
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 05:28 AM
Jun 2013

Though you're not looking for condolences, it helps me to feel better for you knowing that I said something. So to your dear "aunt hippie" may you ride on the wings of butterflies, receive all the love and light that you put into this world, in return.

~ FBG

life long demo

(1,113 posts)
22. So sorry Tx4obama
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 05:36 AM
Jun 2013

I don't think there is a nicer thing you can say about any person than "she was a great person". We are remembered by those left behind. Now you have given us the memory of your Aunt. And that is special.

tomm2thumbs

(13,297 posts)
23. your tribute in words comes right from the heart
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 06:29 AM
Jun 2013

Her memory is honored by your thoughts shared with others Tx4, and I'm sure she knew she was blessed to have you in her life, as you were her.

She sounds like someone who wouldn't want others to be pulled down by her loss but lifted up by all she did while on the planet. Hope your memories of her bring back all good thoughts. Time helps but hang in there.

<clink> Cheers to her and a toast to her life !!

Kath1

(4,309 posts)
24. So sorry to hear that.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 06:55 AM
Jun 2013

I'm 55 and I know what you mean about losing so many. She sounds like a very special woman. May she live on in your memory and actions. Peace.

Lady Freedom Returns

(14,120 posts)
32. How about I Rec. it instead?
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 02:51 PM
Jun 2013

My Mom wanted, nay, DEMANDED, we cremated her.

She died 3 years ago from Pancreatic Cancer. She had it severally for 6 years before finally diagnosed. She also wanted a very simple service.

She wanted cremation because she did not want to spend her time in the grave with all the disease she had.

I understand the reasoning for it, but trying to get past the hebegebes as to what we were to do was hard, very hard. So I will admit I went to the Captain with my feelings too.

In times for grief and loss, an evening with him to listen can be a good thing.

beemer27

(457 posts)
34. Sorry for your loss
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:11 PM
Jun 2013

All of us, at least the adults, have lost fiends and family. That is life. We get a few years on earth, and then it is some one else's turn. You are doing the right thing. You are thinking about her, and the life that you two shared together. Many of us use aides to help us with this kind of thinking. If you used rum, that is fine. Some use herb, and some use other substances. Your aunt is lucky to have a niece like you. Instead of sobbing and carrying on, you are thinking of the good times, and sharing your love for her with people that you care about. I know not what your religious views are, but I do believe that the time here on earth is only the beginning for us. She is still here, just not the way she was before. Being a hippie from the 60s, she probably got more out of life than her contemporaries did, and is probably still getting more out of wherever she is than those with closed minds. Live your life to the fullest, and make her proud of you.

Major Hogwash

(17,656 posts)
35. Sorry to hear about this news.
Sat Jun 8, 2013, 03:15 PM
Jun 2013

But, every single one of us is limited to the amount of time we are on this etheral plane.

Fortunately your aunt sounds like the kind of person this plane was meant to have on it for a long time.
Cherish the memories because they are priceless, and they will help carry you through the dark times.

applegrove

(118,022 posts)
38. I've heard it said that you should not think
Sun Jun 9, 2013, 02:15 AM
Jun 2013

about her as gone, just that your relationship to her has changed, one more time. And that is so true. My grandmothers have both been gone for over a decade but I keep remembering all that wonderful time we had together. And I keep growing and figuring stuff out about myself or them. The love never dies.

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