How do you feel about publicly shaming private citizens who behaved badly?

[apples and oranges]

A husband allegedly bragging about cheating on his wife has been publicly shamed on Facebook, after a train passenger overheard his conversation.

The picture of the man, who had been traveling on a train from Philadelphia with friends, has since been shared more than 183,000 times since a Pennsylvania mother posted in on Wednesday.

'If this is your husband, I have endured a 2 hour train ride from Philadelphia listening to this loser and his friends brag about their multiple affairs and how their wives are too stupid to catch on. Oh please repost...' Steph Strayer wrote on Wednesday.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2337983/The-husband-accused-cheater-183-000-people-Facebook-mother-claims-overheard-bragging-affairs-train.html

On the other side of the country, a soldier returned to his home in Washington state to find that his wife had broadcasted his (alleged) cheating to the entire world. Technically speaking, he could get court martialed and sent to prison, as adultery is illegal in the military.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2338407/Unfaithful-soldiers-wife-welcomes-home-sign-says-Welcome-Home-Cheater.html

Is this the new normal for enforcing decency?

[Old Union Guy]

1. Anyone who condones this is a terrorist. n/t

[Tien1985]

2. Yes, this is the new normal.

If you cheated on your SO don't brag about it in public or you might get told on. Deal with it.

It's really not a difficult thing to avoid.

[sadbear]

3. Welcome to the 21st Century.

Gotta take the good with the bad.

[Fumesucker]

4. It would be ironic if he was just blowing smoke to impress his buddies

I suspect there's about a fifty fifty chance this guy didn't do shit except run his mouth.

[Eleanors38]

38. Good chance of that, and most of his buddies probably recognize that as well.

[loyalsister]

5. Technology and our participation in it has reduced our privacy

I don't like shaming. But, if someone is dumb enough to brag about their bad behavior, I have no sympathy.

[Squinch]

7. Well, you could say that bragging about your affairs on a train reduces your privacy.

[Squinch]

6. Depends on whether you are the shamee or the one the shamee was cheating on.

And it's private citizens shaming private citizens...

I'm good with it!

[david13]

8. I'm ok with it too.

I do not like to have to sit on a train and listen to some braggadocio spout off like that. So I think that one was ok, good, and a good response to having to sit for two hours and listen to the conversation.
As to the soldier, I don't know enough. But I do think I have to defer to the wife's assessment.
I do think it would be wrong for the wife to try to frame the hubby for mailing poison tho'. And I'm glad when that backfires.
I sometimes like foisted on one's own petard?
dc

[msongs]

9. the first one is just HEARSAY and could be totally lies nt

[Honeycombe8]

22. Doesn't really matter. He's telling his pals and strangers that he's been rolling in the hay a # of

times, with his wife not knowing. Only he would know if it's true. All anyone on that train knows is that a stranger is telling them for two hours, boasting really, that he's been tripping the light fantastic. So a stranger on the train merely broadcast his boasts to other strangers. She didn't claim she knew for a fact the feats were true.

Since he was so proud of it, I'm sure he liked the re-broadcast to even more strangers. Right?

[FreeJoe]

106. We don't even know that much...

All we know is that someone posted a statement claiming that this guy was bragging about cheating on his wife. The poster may have had his/her own axe to grind. Maybe the poster was being rude and this person told them off or something like that.

[Honeycombe8]

114. They posted a recording of him, is what I think the OP says. nt

[FreeJoe]

115. Is my brain not working?

I went back and re-read the OP and the linked article. I see references to them hearing the conversation and posting the picture, but I don't see any reference to anyone posting a recording.

[randome]

10. Maybe he'll shut up next time. Talk about something important like what the fuck is this?

[hr]
[font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font]
[hr]

[b.durruti]

11. I'm pretty fuckin fine with it. -nt-

[Skip Intro]

12. All for it if a law has been broken, but this crosses a line.

Someone should get a pic of the nosy person who started this and post that far and wide.

[Squinch]

51. Sounds like nosy had nothing to do with it. The guy was spouting on a train about how he sleeps

around. Did he think the train was a private place? It was kind of an additional cruelty to the wife that he was telling everyone what a dupe she was for not knowing what a cheat he was.

[SomethingFishy]

52. Um, the guy on the train is not the same guy

with the "Cheater" sign on his house.

Not saying he was right, just sayin...

[Squinch]

55. Um, the guy on the train was cheating on his wife, bragging about it for two hours publicly on

a train, loudly enough for all around him to hear, and making fun of his wife for not knowing about his cheating.

[SomethingFishy]

58. Sorry, got confused in all this...

Both guys are idiots. Besides doesn't anyone watch Mad Men? You brag about cheating on your wife on a train, the guy you are bragging to is probably banging your wife on the side, right before they give her shock treatment...

[Squinch]

59. And you find out your mother is sleeping with her health aid.

That's just always a disturbing day.

[Zorra]

13. Remember the gay Rutgers student who committed suicide after his roomate posted

his sexual activities online?

People who publicly humiliate people in this manner may end up indirectly killing or ruining the life of an innocent person.

And then there's this ~

[Tien1985]

14. How can we compare

Having sex in your own room, to bragging about your sexual conquests (real or exaggerated) on a public bus?

There is no expectation of privacy on a bus. It's an insult to that young man's memory to compare him with someone who can't tell the difference between public and private places.

[DirkGently]

19. That is a pretty big, bright line. (nt)

[Honeycombe8]

21. And homosexuality was involved in that other scenario, when the guy was not "out."

So it was more than just taping a tryst. Also, it was a video, wasn't it? Not just a recording of him boasting about it afterwards.

[Zorra]

47. Ah, homosexuality was involved. Exactly what do you mean by that? nt

[Honeycombe8]

70. Exactly what I said. It was a homosexual tryst, and the guy wasn't "out."

That was why he took the event so hard. And it was a video, I think...or at least a recording of the event. Not a recording of him boasting about it later, as in the case of guy #1 in the OP.

Next time...read the whole post.

[Zorra]

90. So what makes gay sex so much worse than adultery in your POV?

Why is it a more acceptable thing for someone to take their own life over than adultery?

The adulterer wasn't "out" either.

I read the whole post. I'm still puzzled because your explanation doesn't make sense.

[Zorra]

46. The point is, public shaming can have unintended, disastrous consequences.

I'm LGBT also. Someone could post pictures of me engaging in sex on my back deck with a lover and I'd probably comment that I needed my ends trimmed and deserved payment for the show.

And there are assholes out there who would happily make a video of me and a lover going at it, thinking they were shaming us, thinking it would be funny and entertaining to people, while thinking they were shaming me.

There's a lot of mean, stupid, ignorant people in this world.

Mean, stupid people who might mistakenly, or maliciously, publicly shame someone to great loss or commit suicide.

Is that worth your precious entertainment? If this man was just boasting, and was just making shit up to make himself look like a super stud to his bros, (and men actually do this) and ended up losing everything because of the public shaming, and committed suicide because of it, will you still feel the same?

Would you believe he deserved what he got?

I'm personally sick and tired of having my privacy invaded; from the workplace snooping thru my pee and the government listening to my phone calls to ignorant assholes posting shit that might have serious consequences on social media.

If someone is obviously committing a crime, go for it. Otherwise, mind your own fucking business.

[Tien1985]

61. My point is

If its shameful to you, don't do it in public.

I'm also LGBT. I agree someone could tape me and mine on my back deck fooling around. I'd be chagrinned and completely blame me and my SO for our choice of location. Probably wouldn't stop me from doing it again, but YMMV.

If the man was boasting he got exactly what he deserved. No one snuck into his house and recorded his conversation. If he committed suicide, I'd feel badly for his family and conclude that a guy who feels the need to brag about his sex life (real or imagined) on a bus has self-worth issues. Very sad, still completely unacceptable.

I'M personally sick and tired of people believing they should say or do whatever mind bogglelingly stupid thing they feel like IN PUBLIC with absolutely no consequences or judgement from those around them.

There is no expectation of privacy on a bus. Keep your private business private and people won't call you on the stupid things you choose to do.

[snagglepuss]

53. +1

[Drale]

29. There is absolutely no comparison

This idiot was in a public space in which you should have no illusion of privacy, while that kid was in his own room in which he had every reason to know that what he was doing was private. Don't talk about bad stuff you've done like your proud of it in public areas, because it will get back to people who can hurt you. That's the message of the day.

[DirkGently]

15. Publicly bragging about making a fool of your spouse is maybe asking for it.

I don't think that generally, bringing private matters to the neighbors' attention is a classy move though.

As far as general bad acts, shaming someone worldwide is taking on a lot of responsibility. Do it wrong and get someone fired, arrested, beaten up, or worse (the Internets will invariably bring death threats) and you become the bad guy.

On the other hand, these people posting videos of their beatings and theft and sexual assault getting arrested / shamed as a result, fully deserve the consequences.

And that lady who dumped the poor kitty in the trash. She deserved that.

[Whisp]

16. I bet all those jerks were getting stiffies thinking of what he-men they were

by cheating on their wives and lying. They must have been sooooo proud.

knuckle dragging assholes. I almost feel sorry for them.

but not quite.

[geek tragedy]

17. Bragging loudly on a train means no expectation of privacy.

Want to keep it private? STFU about it in public.

[Honeycombe8]

18. Guy #1 was speaking in public. So, it's fitting to "publicize" it further.

You takes your chances, when you CHOOSE to go public with this sort of behavior. Besides, obviously the man is proud of his behavior, so the other people forced to listen to this for two hours did him a favor by broadcasting it for all to learn about his wonderful behavior that he's so proud of.

As for #2....it's a little murkier, but okay, in my book, since it was done by a private citizen. If it's false, he can sue for defamation of character. I'm gonna guess he's not gonna sue because a defense of that claim is, of course, that it's TRUE. Ha. It can also be forgiven, if someone thinks it's wrong, since the person he hurt and pledged to be faithful to is very hurt. Hurt people do things sometimes that they wouldn't otherwise do.

[one_voice]

20. The first one...

is wrong imo...this guy could just be talking smack and some busy body could end up ruining lives.

The second one without knowing the story, I'm going to assume the wife knows for sure her husband cheated, in this case you do the crime you do the time.

[Nye Bevan]

23. He publicly shamed himself.

Anytime you do or say something in full public view, assume that it may go on the Internet.

[Behind the Aegis]

24. Pretty disgusting that people find this behavior acceptable, especially the first one.

The second one is a personal matter between two people who ARE involved. The first one was a fucking busybody! So the fuck what that he was bragging about cheating on his wife?! How was this the poster's business?

Hypothesis: Gay teen is sitting on a train to DC from NY and talking to his friends about coming out and what it could mean. Mr./Ms. "Holier-than-thou, I am all about good morals," decides to take his picture and broadcast it. Y'all cool with that?

You may not like cheaters, especially those who brag about it, but it isn't your business; an exception might be if it were a family member/close friend, but is that how you'd tell your family member/friend? Oh, and for the busybody who posted this, I will channel Helen Lovejoy...."Won't somebody think of the children!?"

[apples and oranges]

25. Good points!

[geek tragedy]

33. If people want their cheating to be their own business, they should shut the fuck up

about it while riding public transportation.

And, really, there is no comparison between gloating over how one has betrayed their spouse and gotten away with it to coming out.

A better analogy would be people who brag about stealing or committing vandalism.

[opiate69]

37. Oh? Is infidelity a crime now? I must have missed that memo.

[geek tragedy]

39. Ethically, it's a lot closer to a crime than it is to

someone coming to terms with who they were born as.

Especially when the cheater BRAGS about it in public.

If you feel something is not the business of the public, do not brag loudly about it on a train.

Edited to add:

Of course, if the woman is lying or mischaracterizing what he said, then that's bad for any number of reasons.

[Behind the Aegis]

71. Your analogy is off.

"Stealing or committing vandalism" are illegal acts. "Cheating" and "coming out" are not illegal, and depending on one's 'morality' are moral issues. So, my comparison is spot on, it is just that at this site, for the most part, one is looked down upon and the other is not.

[geek tragedy]

82. In moral terms, the two are not remotely the same.

No one is born a cheater, a liar, or a misogynist. That is a choice.

People are born heterosexual, GLBT etc. That is not a choice.

Moreover, this guy was openly bragging about lying to and betraying his wife. Coming out is the act of refusing to live a lie.

Betraying one's spouse (and bragging about it) is considered immoral here and coming out is considered moral because those are judgments based on progressive values--cheating and betraying hurts other people by its very nature, whereas coming out is the opposite.

Maybe Anita Bryant would consider marital infidelity and coming out to be the same, but there's no need to pretend her values are worthy of respect.

[Behind the Aegis]

84. There's that word, "moral."

No one is born a cheater, a liar, or a misogynist. That is a choice.

People are born heterosexual, GLBT etc. That is not a choice.

So most people on this site believe. However, in the real world, where this event took place, there are many who find homosexuality "immoral." It is the reason I chose "coming out."

Moreover, this guy was openly bragging about lying to and betraying his wife.

According to Gladys Kravitz, but we really don't know the entire story. Also, in what way are her actions any better? How "moral" is it to gossip? Many here are saying "what about the poor wife?!" Why aren't they asking the same question in regards to the actions of this woman who has now spread this all over the web?

[geek tragedy]

87. "So most people on this website believe."

As if that does not include you. Some people believe Jesus rode a dinosaur, so the fact that some shitheads view homosexuality as immoral is really unpersuasive.

Civil rights are a moral issue. Social justice is a moral issue. Honesty is a moral value. If one is afraid to describe one's position as rooted in morality, then one is going to be a lousy advocate.

Again, boo hoo for people who find stuff they say and do in public judged in a public way.

[Behind the Aegis]

88. It does include me; what an absurd conclusion.

You can't honestly tell me in the years you have been here you haven't seen posters who believe that homosexuality is a choice?!

Well, "boo hoo" for people who think that gossip and revenge are legitimate responses to moral outrage.

[geek tragedy]

89. That was my point--of course you reject (rightly so) the idea

that homosexuality is a choice.

There is all kinds of homophobic, misogynist, anti-Semitic crap that gets posted here. Not sure why retrograde idiots' opinions should cause me to pause in my judgment that a man who loudly brags about cheating on and deceiving his wife is a gigantic douchebag.

If one witnesses something firsthand, it's not gossip to accurately state what one saw.

I would not have put the guy's picture up myself, but he can hardly claim to have been wronged.

[Behind the Aegis]

91. Yes, but this event took place in the "real world" not ours.

Which is why I used something that most people here would find repugnant if someone did this; i.e. outing a gay person. I have no problem with people thinking this guy is an asshole. I do have a problem with people trying to justify the classic "two wrongs make a right."

If one witnesses something firsthand, it's not gossip to accurately state what one saw.

Assuming it is accurate, witnesses can also misconstrue as well as embellish, much like what that guy might have been doing. Think about the number of conversations you overhear. Think it is always what you hear? The point I was making is when it comes to morality, the spectrum is wide open. This type of action, IMO, is nothing but pettiness, likely done because she was annoyed, not any grand sense of moral outrage.

[opiate69]

34. Spot on, BtA. Also, not surprised at some of the names I see applauding this crap.

[Behind the Aegis]

76. It is really surprising given the recent events involving the NSA.

Some people split hairs in such ways they really should develop a road show!

[HappyMe]

35. Well said.

It's none of any body's business.

I rode the train from NYC to WI last year. Two women behind me verbally ripped a bride limb from limb for 2 1/2 hours. Not just 'oh, I didn't like her dress' kind of thing. This was uncomfortably vicious. We tried to change seats but the train was too crowded.

People here are yowling about the government. I have to say, it's the nosy asshat private citizens that are far more worrying.

[Behind the Aegis]

78. I was surprised to, especially given the reactions about the NSA.

"I have to say, it's the nosy asshat private citizens that are far more worrying."

Amen! The Gladys Kravitzs of the world have been starting shit since the days of living in the cave. I also look at the ones screeching about the "poor wife." OK. Well, do you think it is any better to find out about the infidelity on Facebook?! Especially after it has been spread all over the WWW?! What if he has children? I know we are getting into "what ifs" but, stories like this just beg for it.

[Eleanors38]

40. There are some in DU who are regularly accused of vigilante-ism...

because they choose to have a firearm for self-defense. Self-defense has nothing to do with vigilante-ism; but regardless, this OP brings up incidents which resonate with these accusations: Judge, jury, executioner with little recourse and no due-process at all. Interesting subject, and one which I have been trying to work into a story.

[Spider Jerusalem]

42. That's a horrendously bad analogy.

"So I'm fucking someone and my wife's such an idiot she has no idea what's going on" is in no way the same as "I'm gay and I'm considering coming out, but I'm not sure I can deal with the reaction from my parents/family/coworkers". It's a bit more like overhearing a lawyer saying to one of his friends "so I'm overbilling one of my clients a hundred bucks an hour and the poor sap is such a sucker he doesn't realise it." (Adultery is breach of contract and legal grounds for divorce in most states.)

[Behind the Aegis]

74. It is a superbly apt analogy.

Last edited Wed Jun 12, 2013, 01:46 AM - Edit history (1)

Adultery is NOT illegal in NY, NJ or PA and therefore, not a crime, nor illegal, it may be "immoral" to many people, as is being gay to many people. Over-billing a client is illegal! You are literally comparing applies to oranges.

[Spider Jerusalem]

93. No, it really isn't

adultery is not a crime, but it may be considered a civil tort in that it is grounds for divorce. And it also represents a breach of faith and a breach of contract (marriage). It's a much better analogy than your comparison, which is so bad it's not even apples and oranges.

[Behind the Aegis]

94. Your analogy is patenly absurd and out of the fruit range.

One is legal, the other is not. In my example, both are examples of something that aren't illegal. It doesn't matter if adultery is grounds for divorce or not.

[treestar]

73. He made it the business of everyone who had to hear him

Why didn't he just STFU?

[Behind the Aegis]

75. That doesn't give someone the license to pass along that information esp with a photo.

He was bragging, so the fuck what? His activity was not illegal. People shoot off their mouths, and in this case so did a busybody who decided it was his/her "business" to continue his "bragging" by shaming him in a public venue. You wonder why he didn't "STFU", I wonder if the busybody thought about the "collateral damage" her post could carry. His wife finding out via the internet...his children...his parents...they obviously didn't deserve respect from the husband or the busybody.

[treestar]

77. If he didn't want his wife hurt, HE should have shut up about it in a public place

What is busybody about listening to someone talking right in front of you loud enough for you to hear?

The photo taker was likely very annoyed after two hours of that and so she took some revenge. He is the one who is talking at length in public about something that is supposed to be what - private?

Makes me think of people who discuss their medical affairs ad nauseum. If it's private, then why are you telling me? Why couldn't I pass that info on to others? If it's someone I know well and they ask me to keep it to myself it's one thing. But if I talk about it in public and people hear me, why do I get to expect them to keep it to themselves?

He probably had a loud, annoying voice, too, or she would not have been able to follow the conversation on a train.

[Behind the Aegis]

80. That would have been ideal.

Given the info in the article, we don't know how loud he was or wasn't, much less the condition of his voice. I have really good hearing, so I can hear all kinds of things, that many would think I wouldn't/hadn't heard.

The photo taker was likely very annoyed after two hours of that and so she took some revenge.

BINGO! REVENGE! That was what this was about...REVENGE. Though it can be quite rewarding to some, revenge hardly ever works out well for any involved.

Makes me think of people who discuss their medical affairs ad nauseum. If it's private, then why are you telling me? Why couldn't I pass that info on to others? If it's someone I know well and they ask me to keep it to myself it's one thing. But if I talk about it in public and people hear me, why do I get to expect them to keep it to themselves?

People do stupid things all the time. Also, some people are talking in a normal speaking voice with the expectation that the conversation is between them. There are more than a few people who will almost give themselves an aneurism straining to hear others' conversations. Just as some are pissed at this man for not thinking of his wife, why is the same "pissed offedness" not leveled at this person?

[treestar]

83. That you don't know

Nor do I. she could have been going out of her way to listen, but he could have been just yapping loudly and she didn't have an ipod or something to cover it up (that's what I do when I don't want to listen to strangers in a public place).

I recall being on a train and wanting to read and had no choice but to hear this lady's cell phone conversation. It was boring, however.

[Behind the Aegis]

85. That is kind of my secondary point.

No one really knows how this conversation transpired. But what we do know is her morality was offended and she took action to shame the source of it. It was the reason I used the "coming out" example. Most people here would be OUTRAGED if this woman had "outed" a gay person...most people here. You and I fall into that category. I also think people aren't thinking about what her actions could cause.

After your post, I went for a cigarette and thought about all the conversations I overheard today. I don't often leave the house, so I don't often find myself in a position to overhear conversations, but today, I heard a number of them. The only "interesting" one was with a cop telling a neighbor of his (the cop) that his (the neighbor) plate registration was two months out-of-date. It is illegal to drive with expired plates and is grounds for an immediate ticket; instead, this guy got a "head's up," which can happen too, but if I had got a ticket in the past for plates, can you imagine my "moral" outrage at hearing something like this? Granted, I wouldn't really be all that put out, but still... This took place in a Subway.

[treestar]

100. Maybe this lady was cheated on herself

I personally would have been annoyed, (probably would not have heard it, listening to music) but would not have taken a photo of him or tweeted it.

I live in a small state where knowing the cops is very helpful, shall we say, and it pisses me off. Especially how people will just out and out admit it, let alone be overheard.

[kentauros]

98. Your excellent points got my imagination going.

That is, I'd say it's about time to do a little culture-jamming. Pranks to shame the shamers

Everyone would have to be in on the joke, including spouses, S.O.'s, family, and friends, so that no one is caught off-guard when it balloons online. Might also have to script the "buddy talk" so it can be shown in evidence later or even show a video of rehearsals. Other forms of "spontaneous" performance art gets rehearsed, and people don't question that.

Basically, the purpose is to give at least some of the busybodies pause to think about their actions. The Internet has allowed people to relax what we'd call normal morals, and we all suffer for it in the long run.

[Initech]

104. This is exactly why I don't do social media.

People's private lives are their own fucking business. I don't want anyone meddling in my business and I don't do the same.

[asjr]

26. And we worry about the government listening in??

[Comrade Grumpy]

27. I think it should be limited to public officials, and narcs who raid medical marijuana sites.

[Deep13]

28. Honestly, it really depends.

Adultery is pretty common and an eavesdropper may not know the context of the story.

If he said that he planned to beat her to a pulp when he gets home--I think one has to ignore the impropriety of eavesdropping and rat him out for the wife's safety. I would if possible go to the cops first. But, you may not know who it is or where he lives, so going public may be the only option.

Generally, however, I'm squarely in the mind your own fucking business perspective.

[olddots]

30. Instead of telling him to shut up

you whip out the magic phone and record the turd maggot ?

We don't participate we observe the civilization crumbling =big fun

[npk]

31. It's the tool of a weak and lazy mind.

Very 21st centuryesq.

[MrSlayer]

32. I can take a picture of anyone and do this to them.

It doesn't mean it's true. I think it's a shitty thing to do to people just as I thought putting pictures if people arrested for solicitation in the paper is a shitty thing to do.

Fuck those people and the people that think it's ok.

[REP]

49. But if someone did that to my husband, it'd be funny

Same if they did it to me - take a photo and make up a story about either one of us bragging about affairs, let alone actually having one. We'd forward them ourselves!

I think - or at least hope - the majority of couples know each other well enough to know if something is bullshit or not. Unfortunately, in a failing relationship, both partners are well aware long before either are forced to admit it.

[MotherPetrie]

36. I think it's pathetic and/or shitty. "Look at me"-ism out of control.

[tech3149]

41. Interesting reading all the responses.

I think back to my studies of Native American culture. They didn't have anyone in the community serving as police. The community in general would show the person that that they were behaving in a way that was not good for the people.
It was not generally a public display but it was definitely shaming the offender. If the offender continued the bad behavior reaction would escalate to the point of public shaming or even ostracizing the offender.
I think that's a fair manner of promoting proper social behavior.

[LWolf]

44. In my experience,

it's the cheated on that gets shunned, not the cheater, in our society.

[LWolf]

43. It's not okay.

I would have no problem with the person who took the picture contacting the wives to let them know, however.

The 2nd? I'd rather the wife smack him with some divorce papers when he pulls up.

I have no tolerance for cheaters. I think karma ought to come back around and kick their ass damned fast. I won't condone violations of privacy, though. Not that the cheaters don't deserve being outed; privacy as a human right takes precedence, though, over my desire for a well-deserved social consequence.

[snagglepuss]

56. What about the privacy of the 1st women whose marriage and intelligence been publically mocked?

[LWolf]

60. What about it?

I am a strong defender of privacy, which is why I said I didn't support the public shaming. Why would I protect the perps' privacy, but not the victims???

[snagglepuss]

62. Morals are relative. This jerk made it evident that he has no shame therefore it ought

not matter to him that he has been outed as a jerk.

[LWolf]

63. We can't

start down the road of deciding who deserves privacy and who doesn't. That's a slippery slope that causes everyone to lose.

This is an issue where my head and heart diverge. My head says protect privacy. My heart says out them.

I have to go with my head.

[snagglepuss]

64. He made it clear that privacy has no value for him so why impose your values on him?

[LWolf]

67. It's not a value. It's a civil liberty.

Civil "liberty" means nothing when it is valid only for those who fit somebody's values.

[snagglepuss]

68. We are not talking about govt prying. This guy who spews out

personal info in public has no value for privacy so what is it to him whether 20 people or 200,000 hear what he is spewing. Why is it you haven't once mentioned the violation of his wife's privacy?

[LWolf]

113. It was inferred. nt

[randome]

45. How's that song go? "Kill the one you're with." No, that's not it...

[hr]
[font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font]
[hr]

[Blue_Tires]

48. I've been saying for YEARS

Who even needs the NSA when we happily record/eavesdrop/whatever each other without hesitation?

I have a big problem with recording and posting that guy on the train...One; it's a private conversation and the topic of discussion has nothing to do with boasting crime or illegal acts, and two; as others said, he could've just been bullshittin'...

[La Lioness Priyanka]

50. i am against such gross intrusions into other people's lives

if i am on the train talking to my BFF i dont expect someone to record me and post it on the internet. its really a gross intrusion into my life.

ugh.

[Cleita]

54. What goes on in a marriage is really no one's business except for the

persons involved. Why not just put him in stocks in front of City Hall so people can throw rotten tomatoes at him? Surely, our civilization has evolved more than this, I hope.

[Malik Agar]

57. Public shame only works if people are shameful for their actions

Alot of people nowadays just don't give a damn for this to work...

[dendrobium]

65. Suppose this man has children

Did the person who posted this online think about innocent people who may be affected by this? Why would this be any of her business? Suppose that man's children will now have to face public ridicule based on what this woman says she overheard on a train. Did this man's poor wife agree to having her marriage dissected on the internet?

[IdaBriggs]

110. I believe the guy who committed the infidelity probably has more to do with their suffering

than the whistle blower.

Blame where it belongs, please - the loud mouth publicly shaming his family "behind their backs" because he thinks they are stupid.

(Assuming the woman is telling the truth, which I find credible - she posted under her own facebook page, and if she is lying, he can sue for defamation. Of course, if she is telling the truth, he can't sue, and his true character has now been exposed to tens of thousands of people on the internet. Either way, I'm good.)

[zeeland]

66. Before the Internet

gossip and accusations were made at the local cafe, tavern, church or wherever people gathered.
The Internet is the new town square. Nothing new here.

[snagglepuss]

69. Exactly.

[treestar]

72. Bragging aloud on public transportation

Is a waiver of privacy. You take your chances doing shit like that.

The sheet sign is not very classy, but again, what can you do about it? She has freedom of speech. Maybe he'd have a libel suit against her or some other tort.

[CakeGrrl]

86. Agree on both counts.

It amazes me how public officials or people in positions of visibility or responsibility get busted saying damning stuff on Facebook or Twitter.

As a way to help keep e-mail tone civil, corporations advise their employees to write an e-mail as if you expect everyone in the company to read it. And you should definitely assume that it's being read by someone other than your intended recipients. Typically, corporations claim anything you produce on their computers using their software is THEIR property; they can access it as they see fit.

Back to topic, it's as if people have this false sense of isolation or insulation against public view. At their own risk.

[treestar]

102. Living in a huge city does that

You are surrounded by people yet alone in a way. In a small town, everyone knows everyone and may know everyone's business - people think they are insulated in a large city, but not so much any more, at least, not with most people, in essence, carrying a camera with them 24/7. And a recording device. For me the smart phones are so useful, I'm glad they came along when I was older and more mature!

[liberalmuse]

79. It's sad that some people think this is okay.

Yes, I have a real big problem with people posting someone else's life on the internet without their consent. What the fuck do they think gives them the right to do that?

[Niceguy1]

81. don't have a problem with either

Both are self inflicted

[DevonRex]

92. The first guy- Made a public spectacle of himself (and his wife/marriage)

that someone filmed. That's no surprise these days. As a matter of fact, it's rather expected with kids and their cell phones. I can imagine a woman seeing his display and fuming for his wife.

The second one isn't good. I would never make my relationship issues public like that. Not cool.

[kentauros]

99. The second one made me think how I'd react if I lived

either across the street or next door. I'd put up a similar sheet that said:

"Airing My Dirty Laundry For The Whole Neighborhood To See"

[DevonRex]

105. Yeah, that's exactly what she did, LOL!!!! OMG.

That sheet couldn't actually have... No. Ick. Eww.

[Niceguy1]

95. don't have a problem with either

Both are self inflicted

[KentuckyWoman]

96. case by case

I'm not going to 2nd guess a spouse...they are in it. But I really question someone putting a stranger's pic on the web with info that could destroy a family, a career. She'd better be DAMN sure she knows all sees all has every fact....not likely.

I'm more likely to only jump in at the moment if I see the vulnerable getting hurt. Like kids running wild inside the restaurant or abusement of a child or old person. I've even called the cops to come put a stop to a highly aggressive driver. But mostly people get their chance to have a bad day or even destroy their marriage without my help.

[shawn703]

97. Seems risky to me

Couldn't these acts of public shaming lead to defamation lawsuits?

[Nimajneb Nilknarf]

101. As long as government isn't imposing the shaming, it's just a private matter

Is this the new normal for enforcing decency?

It seems petulant and petty to me, but it's not any of my business.

[LanternWaste]

103. How does one shames those who have no shame?

How does one shames those who have no shame?

[FreeJoe]

107. Like the old days

Through most of history, most people lived in relatively small groups. Privacy and anonymity were anomalies. People were accustomed to everyone knowing their personal business. As we moved to larger groups and traveled more, we got to where we knew less about the people around us. It seems ironic that technology is taking that anonymity away again.

[cynatnite]

108. I don't know if public shaming is necessarily a good thing...

On one hand, if what is alleged is true, I'm on the "they deserved whatever they get" bandwagon.

But, what if the soldier hadn't in fact cheated. What if that guy was just bragging to impress his buddies, but he was lying.

Is it right to go this far? Even if it is true, what purpose does this truly serve? How is anyone benefited by humiliating them in front of their friends, family and children.

I'm not convinced.

[FreeJoe]

109. What worries me

What if the person posting this had an ulterior motive? What if the “cheater” had told the photographer not to smoke on the train, or told her to turn off her blaring radio, or did something else to offend her? What if the “cheater” was telling his friend about his political views and the photographer found those views offensive? I’m not saying that this was the case here, but I can definitely see people “shaming” people falsely to suit their own needs.

[Dr. Strange]

112. Here's a whole website devoted to it:

http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/