Nestlé introduces bottled water for “trendy, high-income” women

[n2doc]

Katie Mcdonough, Salon

Ladies, if you're lucky enough to live somewhere with access to clean drinking water, then you know that the stuff coming straight from your tap is enough to keep you alive in a purely physiological sense. But can you "live your best life" while drinking H2O from the sink? Can you "have it all" while drinking off-brand bottled water you bought at the deli?

The answer is no, you can't

And Nestlé knows that, which is why the company launched "Resource" on Monday, a premium water made specifically for “a woman who is a little more on the trendy side and higher-income side,” according to Larry Cooper, group marketing manager for Resource.

Resource is more than just a beverage, it's a reflection of who you are as a woman in the very deepest and most personal sense of your very being, as Cooper went on to explain to the New York Times: “We want to raise it to the level of a lifestyle brand,” he said, “where she’s proud to carry around Resource as her bottled water accessory, so to speak.”

Who is the Resource woman, you ask? Well, according to the promotional video, she loves yoga, nature and controlled acrobatics set to ambient techno.

https://socialreader.com/me/content/LlIEW

[Poll_Blind]

1. This just confirms my suspicions that all women secretly desire to be in an aquatic dance troupe. nt

PB

[WinkyDink]

4. No; to be mermaids! And you can count me in!

Lori Lemaris, greatest unheralded DC character!

[Poll_Blind]

10. I wanna be a mermaid! Well, a merman. Hell, when I'm drunk I want to be Ethel Merman.

And who can blame me?



PB

[Brother Buzz]

27. Damn Skippy, that's DUzy worthy!

[malaise]

30. OK this post wins the thread - DUzy

[LadyHawkAZ]

54. ...

[dipsydoodle]

8. I thought it was whales who aspire to being in a dolphin boyband.

[Drale]

43. Only Women?

Who doesn't want to be in an aquatic dance troupe?

[Poll_Blind]

46. I hate to admit it but I have tried splash-play. It was in college. I was young.

When the family is away I do sometimes blue-up a little and fill the kiddie pool.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

I don't let it define me.



PB

[winterpark]

62. They'll market our Florida water to wealthy women while paying little to none to the

floridians via fees and draining our precious water table. But hey, if its all in the name of free market capitalism, go for it. Seen all the sinkholes opening in the recent years? It's from the lowering of our water table via drought and draining of our natural springs. Remember that Crist allowed this to happen and I will remind any here who decide to give odes to Crist when he throws his hat in the ring, of all the wrong he has done as a republican governor. Just because he played craven political opportunist and switched to independent then dem doesn't mean he didn't harm our state and our education. Harm which has continued under the current asshat in the governors mansion with the collusion of the legislature

[Buzz Clik]

2. No doubt that commercial appeals to someone.

I loved how the birds quit chirping when she drank the bottled water.

[htuttle]

3. It's got Electrolytes!

[arely staircase]

6. its got what ladies crave

nt

[backscatter712]

49. It's got the electrolytes plants crave! n/t

[pa28]

64. Oh god it's all coming true. n/t

[Scootaloo]

66. One has to wonder, though...

Was Mike Judge a prophet, predicting the dimness of the future? Or was he a catalyst, where others looked at his films and said, "those are swell ideas!"

[Marrah_G]

5. ~facepalm~

[bunnies]

15. +1 nt

[Jamastiene]

58. +1

and I'll add a hearty to that. are they thinking? It is probably just tap water like all the rest.

[Poll_Blind]

7. It has electrolytes that sycophants crave!

PB

[Warpy]

9. Gotta love the trendies

With more money than brains, they keep everyone from fashion designers to kitchen renovaters up to their eyeballs in mink.

Filtered tap water is great, I'll give the designer water people that much. However, you only need one bottle of the stuff. The trick is to refill it at home from your Brita pitcher. You get all the cachet of being a trendie with little of the expense.

You can also skip recycling days without all those cases of water bottles needing recycling.

ETA: the Astroturf pitcher's mound in the flooded baseball diamond is great. I think the birds stopped singing because she burped and scared them silent.

[Initech]

11. What's this "high income market" they're catering to? Das not compute!

[Myrina]

51. Oh, my former manager will be all over this.

Idiot bitch doesn't know how to talk about anything without using label-names, the trendier/pricier the better.
Thing is, the shit she buys - even though expensive and wasteful - is so goddamn ugly I wouldn't buy it from Goodwill.

[dipsydoodle]

12. They'd be better off with Orangina

[Poll_Blind]

13. A good example of the right way to do it...versus the wrong way to do it:

PB

[Rex]

20. I don't get it she is just singing with some...WHAT THE HELL?

[Hekate]

24. Still trying to deconstruct that myself

Wish it came with a translation!

[Poll_Blind]

26. Apparently, I kid you not, it's about "growing" your business.

Business, not business. Like a company that helps your growing company scale up as it grows.

PB

[jollyreaper2112]

33. yup

Japanese raccoon dog, the folklore version is supernatural. Tan Tanuki.

an over-sized scrotum that symbolizes financial luck;

Tan Tan Tanuki no kintama wa,
Kaze mo nai no ni,
Bura bura
('"Tan-tan-tan", Your balls sway nicely. / Though the wind stops blowing / They swing, swing, swing').

Some sources claim that their scrotum have shapeshifting powers.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_raccoon_dog

From the nation that brought you tentacle porn.

[Poll_Blind]

34. I had no idea- awesome!

PB

[Rex]

42. Thank you! I have learned something new today

so it was worth waking up! How in the world did they end up with a raccoon-dog with HUGE balls? THAT symbolizes financial luck? How they went from A to C, has me fascinated.

[jollyreaper2112]

45. hard to say

Foreign cultures, foreign idioms and memes.

Offhand, I'd guess that it's an offshoot of the connection fertility = lucky = wealth. Giant dicks have been used the world over as symbols of good luck. Not sure when the prudery hit the West, might have pretty much coincided with the rise of Christianity. Plenty of Greek and Roman statues were graced with giant dongs. You don't tend to see that in the history books.

Don't google this from work but if you search for "japan penis festival" you'll see what looks like a folk festival with historical costumes and giant wooden penises paraded around. We're not talking euphemistic or symbolic penises like obelisks and maypoles, we're talking mighty twangers, anatomically correct in form and color.

What's also crazy are the bas relief sculptures on the old Hindu temples. As I understand it, modern Hinduism is pretty goddamn repressed, like Christianity, but these sculptures pretty much look like orgies straight out of Caligula. Again, you never learned of this in school because we can't show children pictures of no-no places.

[Rex]

73. Very inetresting, I looked up 'japan penis festival'.

[jollyreaper2112]

75. did it appear as I described?

There's probably a lot of hardcore porn and bukkake in there but also the festival I described. I would have confirmed the link myself but, you know, NSFW and all.

[Rex]

76. Yes there are HUGE foam penises walking around

and people laughing and giggling with what looks like PENIS DAY spelled out all over the place. Your description was spot on.

[jollyreaper2112]

77. haha

Good ol' Japan. Never fails to bewilder.

[Rex]

78. Right now I am looking at some of their crazy game shows.

And YES there is a penis game show (probably more than one). I love the Japanese, so liberal compared to our puritanical system in America.

[jollyreaper2112]

80. oh boy

Allow me to introduce you to your new favorite website.

http://www.wtfjapanseriously.com/

Here's the tame stuff.

Edo period rap

&feature=player_embedded

Japanese hiphop

[Rex]

81. Thank you! I see another hour or two

saying bye bye as I surf the crazy train of modern Japan!

[Art_from_Ark]

95. Those crazy game shows are not shown on regular broadcast TV

It used to be that they would have some crazy Japanese shows on late-night TV, but that's all been sanitized now and the really crazy stuff has been relegated to pay cable TV.

[dixiegrrrrl]

86. The Chinese are not far behind..behold their new building: ( no joke)

It is the Chinese Communist Party's official newspaper building!
honestly...

[n2doc]

47. And there's even a good kids movie about them

http://www.nausicaa.net/miyazaki/pompoko/

[jollyreaper2112]

50. damn

How tough a creature are you? I hit people WITH my balls.

Chuck Norris says "That's my pet."

[Hekate]

88. I have a Miyazaki collection I share w/ my 8 y.o. grandson, but I never understood that bit till now

I've been waiting for him to notice this feature, and now I know how to explain it!

Where I grew up (O'ahu) you could often see ceramic Tanuki in people's gardens, kind of like garden gnomes but less colorful. I don't remember swinging balls though....

[arely staircase]

56. wow

that was exhausting

[Matariki]

97. Have you seen Studio Ghibli's animation Pom Poko?

It's pretty awesome.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pom_Poko

Consistent with Japanese folklore, the tanuki (Japanese raccoon dogs, Nyctereutes procyonoides) are portrayed as a highly sociable, mischievous species, which are able to use "illusion science" to transform into almost anything, but too fun-loving and too fond of tasty treats to be a real threat – unlike the kitsune (foxes) and other shape-shifters. Visually, the tanuki in this film are depicted in three ways at various times: as realistic animals, as anthropomorphic animals which occasionally wear clothes, and as cartoony figures based on the manga of Shigeru Sugiura (of whom Takahata is a great fan). They tend to assume their realistic form when seen by humans, their cartoony form when they are doing something outlandish or whimsical, and their anthropomorphic form at all other times.

Prominent testicles are an integral part of tanuki folklore, and they are shown and referred to throughout the film, and also used frequently in their shape-shifting. This remains unchanged in the DVD release, though the English dub (but not the subtitles) refers to them as "pouches". Also, in the English dub and subtitles, the animals are never referred to as "raccoon dogs", which is the more accurate English name for the tanuki, instead they are referred to rather incorrectly as just "raccoons".

[suffragette]

14. This should go well with the BIC Cristal pens for women

Hope the reviews are just as good!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021217635

http://www.amazon.com/BIC-Cristal-1-0mm-Black-MSLP16-Blk/dp/B004F9QBE6

[monmouth3]

16. Betcha they fill those bottles in Jersey or Brooklyn..Just speculating...n/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

29. Florida aquifer, I beleive.

When Jeb was Gov. of Fla. he signed deal with Nestle' giving them access to Fla.'s prisitne aquifer, in exhange for a pittance.
I remember beign totally stunned at the stupidity and short sightedness of it all.

[Retrograde]

68. Short sighted?

Maybe for the people of Florida, but I'm sure Jeb got his - maybe not as a direct payment, but he's got this campaign coming up....

Poor Florida. I didn't realize they had natural resources left to exploit.

[HiPointDem]

17. that commercial is gag-inducing. these trendy women must be utter fools. 'naturally-occuring

electrolytes'?

it's water. no more electrolytes than from yr tap, fool

[HappyMe]

18. Silly.

For women with more money than sense.

[Rex]

19. “where she’s proud to carry around Resource as her bottled water accessory..."

BARF ALERT...

[HangOnKids]

37. Gee Won't Her DoucheBag Accessory Be Jealous? n/t

[Rex]

41. Or her children accessories, always wanting food.

She might even share some of that water with them, but I doubt it.

[olddots]

21. they plan on owning the world's water and selling what was once free

n.t.

[Beearewhyain]

22. I prefer Brawndo - The Thirst Mutilator

http://www.brawndo.com/

[ljm2002]

23. "her bottled water accessory"

That phrase encapsulates the marketing methods of modern corporations. If you can twist reality to the point where water is a stylish accessory... well you can do just about anything then, can't you, in terms of propagandizing people.

[dixiegrrrrl]

31. Next up..bottled air.

Not an original idea...Doonesbury had it a few years in one strip.

[Initech]

71. So did Spaceballs:

[pinboy3niner]

82. The first official oxygen bar opened in Toronto, Canada, in 1996

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxygen_bar

[dixiegrrrrl]

85. Ohhh...I vaguely remember something about that, now that you mention it.

Wonder if it was an idea that spread?

[reformist2]

25. Is it just filtered tap water, like Dasani?

[WovenGems]

28. Good Idea

A bit sexist though given that all bottled water is purchased by boobs.

[dixiegrrrrl]

38. Many of those "boobs" are folks who stock up for hurricane season

in case tap water becomes impossible to use.

I have a case of bottled water for when the taps run dirty after the city flushes the water mains, which they do twice a year.

[Starry Messenger]

32. lol.

[SwissTony]

61. I don't know if you tried to link to Penn and Teller

but it's well worth it...

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=23209

[Starry Messenger]

69. My favorite episode of theirs.

It's so cringy but perfect.

[SwissTony]

79. It just shows how much BS is associated with bottled water.

It's not much better in "wine experts".

[Frustratedlady]

35. So, how many women do you think will fall for old water in a new package?

If anyone is desperate enough to use Nestle bottled water as a status symbol, I give!

[riqster]

36. Remember,Evian spelled backwards is..

"Naive".

Coincidence? I think not...

[ForeignandDomestic]

39. tssk..

If Nestle had their way only the people with high incomes would have access to water.

Remember Nestle's CEO statement that water is not a Human Right.

[link:

|

[WovenGems]

48. New Age Terrorist

I think that evil dude just labeled Nestle a criminal organization.

[Initech]

72. I think I saw New Age Terrorist was playing Austin City Limits this year.

[olddots]

53. thanks for posting this

n.t.

[Gin]

40. Personally....i think this is all wet.

[Poll_Blind]

44. Key quote from article: “We want to raise it to the level of a LIFESTYLE BRAND” You know, like...

Lifestyle Brand.

What a fucked up world.

PB

[ForgoTheConsequence]

55. Lol "think different"

A+ post, thank you.

[datasuspect]

52. Dear Holy Savior

O! God of Hosts, most Holy of Holies, we beseech you to slam the Earth with an extinction level event asteroid.

We pray that you take as many souls as you can.

We pray for a global reset button in Jesus' name.

Amen

[Avalux]

57. So...it's marketed to women with too much money who care way too much about what others think?

A shallow, vapid woman who cares what brand of water bottle others see her carrying around. The type of woman who truly loves yoga and nature, drinks tap water. Like me.

They are marketing to posers.

[RedCappedBandit]

90. Aye. This is for people who want others to *think* they love exercise and nature.

[Whisp]

59. oiy. what a stupid product with a stupid name for stupid consumers.

Resource.

Of all things to call it - the world is in need of replacing resources we sucked dry in the name of greed. It's like a fuck you finger to environmentalists.

If they called it: DumbFuck - would have been more suitable.

[Jamastiene]

60. It looks like a feminine napkin commercial...

and makes about as much sense. are they thinking? It's probably just tape water just like all the rest. What kind of woman will fall for this stupid shit? That's what I want to know.

[louis-t]

63. IT'S....FRIGGIN'....WATER!

Aw Jeez...

[Zorra]

65. Trendy new age woo-rotic hypochondriacs will fall for anything. nt

[Quantess]

67. Nestlé is a highly unethical corporation that loves destroying the rainforest.

Fuck Nestlé.

[vanlassie]

93. FUCK NESTLE TWICE.

[NightWatcher]

70. it's more water-y than regular water

[Canuckistanian]

84. Yeah, not "watered down" like that other stuff

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

74. It's not what you drink, it's what you're seen drinking that counts.

I do, so, hope it has a prominent label.

[Nimajneb Nilknarf]

83. I heard about something called Brawndo that also contains electrolytes

[Fire Walk With Me]

87. Video: Nestle CEO says water should be privatized and sold for profit, is not a human right.

From 2 minutes to 3:40, he clearly indicates that water should be privatized and marketed to the population of the world.

In the first two minutes, he discusses how Nestle are the largest foodstuff corporation in the world, the 27th largest corporation overall. He uses the word foodstuff to also describe water. He also argues for the use of GMOs.

I don't even want to see the rest.

[GReedDiamond]

89. Brabeck is a transnational asshole and a bloodsucking parasite...nt

[RedCappedBandit]

91. Yummy! Yuppy water!

[treestar]

92. This is dumb, good grief

If they want higher end customers, do they just charge more for it? It's still water!

[duuser5822]

96. one of the stupidest things I've read in a while

But I'm sure the Nouveau riche-yuppie types will be all over this, buying as much as they can...