GOP plan to appeal to millennials: “Make abortion funny”

[Are_grits_groceries]

“How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering Friday on how to make social conservatism appealing to young people, after an election where Republicans got trounced in the battle for millennial voters (who are are moving even further and further away from the Christian-right on marriage and other issues).

Abortion has to be made funny, the thinking goes, because funny sells on social media, and that’s where one goes to court young people. “You can engage with sarcasm, it’s hard with the abortion issue, but you have to,” said Students for Life president Kristan Hawkins at a breakout panel at the Faith and Freedom Coalition Conference in Washington today on how to win millennial voters. “Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we’ve been dealt.”

As the Republican Party tries to remake itself after the 2012 election to better appeal to young people and minorities, there’s been a movement to jettison issues social conservatives hold dear, especially support for “traditional marriage.” But the activists at Ralph Reed’s confab said absolutely not. “You’ve got to be pro-life, you’ve got be pro-marriage, or else you’re not going to get our money,” Hawkins said firmly.

How, then, do you win over young voters when as many as 70 percent support marriage equality? The answers offered feel a bit like jamming a square peg in a round hole.
<snip>
http://www.salon.com/2013/06/17/gop_plan_to_appeal_to_millennials_make_abortion_funny/

Yeah, let them try that on Twitter or other social media. They will be crushed.
Abortion isn't funny in any way shape or form. There are some things you don't mock. Are mass shootings next?

[LuvNewcastle]

1. I'm sure Rush Limbaugh will get right on it.

He already makes fun of homelessness, so he might as well get some giggles out of unwanted pregnancies. Maybe throw in a few jokes about gay teen suicide while he's at it. That's the trouble with liberals, we just don't see the humor in misery and desperation.

[nxylas]

31. That was my first thought too

Have you ever heard rightwingers trying to be funny? They have 5 jokes:

1) Minorities are stupid.
2) Liberals are stupid.
3) Women who don't want to be barefoot, pregnant and chained to the kitchen sink are sluts and/or lesbians.
4) LGBT people are unnatural and disgusting.
5) I'm going to shoot someone in categories 1-4.

[sibelian]

2. Dearie me.

That's not going to work at all.

[jmowreader]

3. This will work to our advantage

The GOP has become the GAAGA party: Guns, Anti-Obamacare, Abortion, Gays and the Altar. I apologize to the great liberal singer, but those, and a couple other items like immigration and taxes, are all they care about. I think you could write a bill that deported all the gays, throw a massive tax increase into it, and get massive GOP support.

Since the GOP is so focused, we need a similar focus: a plan that will fix the infrastructure, create 10 million living wage jobs, keep tuition affordable, and reduce unwanted pregnancy by 50 percent in two years, reduced to almost nothing by 2020, by making birth control easy and cheap to get.

Your choices are (1) a Bible in every home or (2) a paycheck in every hand and a rubber on every dick.

[dballance]

6. I like it jmowreader.

Short, simple, to the point.

[alphafemale]

4. Good Lord. There is something wrong with fundamentalists.

At a deep, fundamental level.

It is like there is something about being a decent human being they are incapable of understanding.

[fasttense]

10. Religion, like all of our society, has been corrupted by capitalism.

The new Pope said something about it.

"He asserts that Capitalism harbors a “spiritual perversion” that seeks to “tame transcendence,” seeking to co-opt religion for its own ends."

That is what has happened here in America. Capitalism has co-opted and tamed religion.

Combine that with problems of rigid religiosity or fundamentalism and you have the near perfect destruction of religion.

"At another stage, Francis warns of the dangers of “rigid religiosity” and “fundamentalism.”

“This type of rigid religiosity is disguised with doctrines that claim to give justifications, but in reality deprive people of their freedom and do not allow them to grow as persons,” he says. “A large number end up living a double life.”"

http://ncronline.org/blogs/all-things-catholic/book-indicates-pope-moderate-realist

[ReRe]

11. They're reptiles (i.e. cold-blooded)

Snakes in suits.

[truebluegreen]

35. Arrested development.

Brain damage. Something.

[Warren DeMontague]

58. No, Arrested Development is funny.

I highly doubt the "Consortium of Fundamentalist Anti-Choice Chucklefucks" is going to be able to afford that writing team.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

5. A pregnant woman, a pro-lifer, and a Planned Parenthood doctor walk into a bar ...

... nope, there's no joke there. not funny.

The Republican Party is obviously not trying to "remake itself". Its leadership is just trying to put different spin on the same old Christian Coalition social oppression.

[WovenGems]

27. No remake

The republicans are simple changing the lipstick color on the pig.

[Sophiegirl]

54. +1. nt

[SkyDaddy7]

7. More proof that Christians

do not care about the unborn baby & more about using the unborn baby as a political weapon! SICK!!

[Sophiegirl]

55. If they think....

That forcing women, many who live at or below the poverty line, to give birth against their will creates Repug voters in the future...they are not just short-sighted, they are cruel and stupid.

But then, we already know this.

[asjr]

8. I have to go back to WW2 to make dialogue about

Democrats vs Republicans and that is this--Allies vs Axis.

[Kablooie]

9. Kind of underscores why the millenials don't vote Republican, doesn't it?

But their gerrymandered districts will keep them in power for the next decade anyway.

[truebluegreen]

36. But oh what a reckoning there will be

when the racial demographics and the young voters and the new census come together....

[ashling]

12. “Unfortunately we have to, because this is the generation that we’ve been dealt.”

That's gonna sell well.

[Initech]

39. They just keep shooting themselves in the foot don't they?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Republicans have zero sense of humor. Where we joke about their flaws, when they try to do the same, it always backfires on them big time.

[Boomerproud]

52. So they're embarrassed by their generation as well eh?

Some honesty for once.

[tclambert]

13. The Republican sense of humor: hit someone with a rock and laugh at their pain.

Bully humor. Winners laugh at losers. That's why Rush can make fun of homeless people. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Because I kicked him across! Bwahahaha."

What really fries them now is that they and their policies have become jokes. They can't stand anyone laughing at them.

[tanyev]

60. +1

[ReRe]

14. I hope they do it...

K&R

... it will backfire on them faster than spitting straight ahead on a motorcycle going 70 mph on the Interstate. They would be reviled not only here in America, but the world over. IMHO.

[steve2470]

15. These people are brain dead, truly

Some things are just not funny, no matter who does it. I would not be shocked if they try to pay some stand up comedian to make it funny. Epic fail.

[JoeyT]

19. And given what few standups comedians the right approves of,

They're pretty much going to be stuck with having Gallagher hit a plastic fetus with a hammer or Dennis Miller whining about how abortion oppresses white guys.

[steve2470]

20. exactly nt

[JHB]

16. Dear Lord, they're going to go Full Mallard Fillmore!

Just about all conservative "humor" is only funny if you're already heavily inFOXicated. Outside that it sounds like the braying of an ass.

And anyone who could be funny to a more general audience will be too "liberal" for the same people who showed up for Reed's confab.

But they'll try. It'll be round-the-clock "Half Hour Comedy Hour" for a while. Brace yourselves!

[niyad]

59. I am stealing "inFOXicated" with most humble thanks

[DetlefK]

17. "Hahaha! You get it? She got breast-cancer after having an abortion! Hahaha!"

See? It's so easy to make abortion funny.

[bloomington-lib]

18. Hawkins said it was because the party was too moderate. “We keep nominating moderates and saying we

need a big tent, but we keep losing.”

[truebluegreen]

38. !1!!!!

"moderates"

[TxDemChem]

21. That's sick

They are grossly out of touch

[reformist2]

22. Rebranding? They talk about their party like they're selling beer. They've lost their minds.

[RevStPatrick]

23. I think it's all that high-fructose corn syrup...

...or maybe something else (Jeebus?), but these people's brains are seriously broken.

I've been calling them The Upside-Down People for a few years now.
Everything they say and do and believe is upside-down to reality.
But it's just NOT funny anymore.

But, there is hope.
These kids today, "this... generation that we’ve been dealt," is actually extremely cool.
I'm 50 and I know a hell of a lot of 25 year-olds, and for the most part, they are terrific.
I think that as long as they stay away from the high-fructose corn syrup and the fundie whack-a-doodles, we'll be OK in the long run...

[AlbertCat]

24. As we have seen in the past...

Conservatives can make a joke out of anything! Just not a funny joke.

I remember fondly all those hysterical conservative comedians!

[Rebellious Republican]

50. You forgot this sad excuse for a washed up comedian as well....

?itok=okIKVq-_

[treestar]

25. They try to appeal to people who just don't want them

Are they going to change their principles just to win?

[Turbineguy]

26. OK, so, two fetuses

walk into a bar.....

As usual, they've got it wrong.

[brooklynite]

32. Try this one: a Priest, a Rabbi and Rush Limbaugh walk into a Planned Parenthood clinic...

[Turbineguy]

34. That will never work

it has the potential of actually turning out to be funny.

[Aerows]

28. Oh my

I think I'm dumber having read that.

[SwissTony]

29. Their non-"funny" approach is also pathetic

"Travis Korson, the grass-roots director of the Virginia chapter, suggested framing marriage as an economic issue. 'Gay marriage undermines that basic family unit,' he said, and that, in turn, hurts the economy."

What a load of BS.

[Aerows]

30. I can sum it up in one second

"It's not that we don't want people to be married with children, it's that we want the RIGHT people to be married with children."

[Th1onein]

33. What's funny is how out of touch with normal human beings these people are.

And I'm anti-abortion/prolife.

[1-Old-Man]

37. Grotesque immaturity is required to think abortion is in any way funny.

I don't really think which side of the women's-rights/pro-life question a person is on not one mature person thinks abortion is a funny thing or can in any way be made a funny thing. It is not a funny thing when the family dog spontaneously aborts a half-developed litter of puppies on the bathroom floor and it equally not funny when a woman is pushed by whatever circumstance into having to seek out and have performed an abortion. Anyone who think they can find away to make it funny is perverted and anyone who finds it funny has about them a grotesque immaturity. That is my opinion, one strongly held I might add.

[Initech]

40. To quote someone who is actually funny - Stephen Colbert: "This just in, Jesus has quit!"

[Doc Holliday]

41. Not even Carlin would touch this....

....and he was a guy who could make anything funny. (Well, nearly anything.)

In his book "Last Words" he touched briefly on a failed attempt to do this very thing-- work up a riff on abortion. He saw almost immediately that it wasn't going to work when he opened up with the comment, "Abortion is not murder-- but it is justifiable homicide."

The crowd reaction was, shall we say, underwhelming. He never tried it again.

If Carlin couldn't do it, no one else should even try.

[Initech]

42. I remember a rant of his from a while back

Where he said you could joke about anything, but it's all in how the joke is constructed:

[WCGreen]

43. That would be okay, but most of the conservative "comedians" are just not funny...

PJ Rourke and Dennis Miller just bitch and throw in some usually shocking off the wall jokes that just aren't funny.

The reason the Right is so easy to lampoon is because all you have to do is tell the truth about conservatism, add a bit of snark and shake it all up and you get hilarity.

Conservatives are also against thing a lot of people like while liberal comedians attack people in power.

Here's an example of the start of a liberal comedian; two congressmen.... See, you know that is going to be funny because you are attacking power regardless of the party.

Here's an example of the first line of a conservative joke, two well-fare cheats...

See what I mean.

I bet a lot of comedians who are painted as liberal are probably non-partisan.

And even when conservative are not in power, they still represent the things people hate like big business and rich people.

[bucolic_frolic]

44. Maybe they can use subliminal spam

"Did your gun misfire with all the MegaGent Capsules?

Don't be a liberal. Just trust in our
Christian political leaders. No go home and say three
Holy Mark Foley's and everything will be fine."

[DallasNE]

45. After That They Can Make Voter Suppression Funny

And homophobia funny, maybe showing Sheppard's body strung up on that fence in Wyoming. The possibilities are endless. Let them get started.

[quakerboy]

46. Ya know, if they manage to split social conservatives from corporatists,

The country will be the winner.

I think many social conservatives agree with the rest of the country on the moral bankruptcy of the corporate system and the need for financial reform.

And I think many corporatists dont give a rats ass about whether gay people can get married, or whether women can get abortions.

But somehow they got welded together into one line toting monstrosity of a party, which in our current system always gets just enough power to prevent majority opinion from prevailing.

[Rebellious Republican]

47. Is there a link to where I can send them some great jokes to help them with their endeavor?

I am sure these would win the hearts and minds of there target audience.

WARNING THIS IS A VERY SICK AND DISTURBING SITE! I AM NOT KIDDING.

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!

This one was tame....

http://dead-baby-joke.com/

[Rex]

48. PLEASE GO OUT AND DO THAT!

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT...just go out and do that please please please!

[frylock]

49. LOLFetus.com?

[Harmony Blue]

51. This is too funny

thanks for the laugh GOP.

[caseymoz]

53. They're off to a very bad start . . .

. . . this twenty week abortion limit the Repubs in the House just passed is one of the worst punchlines ever.

[obama2terms]

56. Pretty pathetic

I don't think either side finds abortion funny at all!

[Warren DeMontague]

57. Sacrasm? SARCASM???? ... You fools! You're dealing with Millennials, not Gen X.

Good luck untangling that knot, ya fucking goobers.

[Downtown Hound]

61. My plan: Make Republicans funny

The awesome thing about my plan is it involves absolutely no work at all. They do it all themselves.