Is This The Best Response To A Cease And Desist Letter Ever?

[n2doc]

Jake Freivald’s lawyer apparently sent this reply to the Township of West Orange, NJ after Freivald recieved a cease and desist order over a domain he owned that had “West Orange” in the name.
The letter in all its glory:




http://www.buzzfeed.com/samir/is-this-the-best-response-to-a-cease-and-desist-letter-ever

[FSogol]

1. Awesome. n/t

[niyad]

2. a huge k and r

[jberryhill]

3. The letter cites some great prior cases!

Footnote 2:

City of Salinas v Brian Baughn

http://domains.adrforum.com/domains/decisions/97076.htm

Complainant is City of Salinas, Salinas, CA, USA ("Complainant&quot represented by G. Gervaise Davis III, Esq. of Davis & Schroeder, P.C. Respondent is Brian Baughn, Salinas, CA, USA ("Respondent&quot represented by John B. Berryhill



City of Dearborn v. Dan Mekled d/b/a ID Solutions

http://domains.adrforum.com/domains/decisions/97076.htm

Complainant is City of Dearborn, Dearborn, MI (“Complainant”) represented by Anessa Owen Kramer, of Brooks & Kushman P.C. Respondent is Dan Mekled d/b/a ID Solutions, Dearborn, MI (“Respondent”) represented by John Berryhill

[barbtries]

25. it's you!

that is cool

[TexasTowelie]

30. Oh it burns!

I'm certain that some hokey attorney in West Orange is getting his/her panties twisted in a knot that will never come undone.

Maybe, just maybe there is justice in this world after all.

[oldhippie]

35. Cool, jberryhill. I lived in Salinas for 21 years .....

... and I can confirm that its city government deserved plenty of criticism.

[jberryhill]

36. The Respondent's criticism was specifically related to police practices there

....which is why he attracted their attention.

He's moved on since then but, as is commonly known at DU, I am a fascist police-supporting enemy of the First Amendment.

[oldhippie]

38. Ha! That's pretty interesting .....

I lived in Salinas 1976-1997. I thought the city sucked. I never had any particular problem with the police department, but it seemed like there was way too much crime in the city for them to be doing a great job.

But, it turned out that my long time best friend, who I met in 1977, was a Salinas Police Detective Lt., and polygraph guy. He was a fellow ham radio operator and lived not far from me. He is now retired in Missouri, but to this day we still talk every Sunday morning on ham radio.

He retired and left Salinas around 1994 or so, but his old contacts on the PD tell him that the city has gone from bad to worse. Horrible gang violence and corruption in the city government. I'm glad I escaped.

[jberryhill]

39. The Lettuce Capital Of The World

[Soylent Brice]

46. that is truly awesome.

[msanthrope]

48. You rock. nt

[pscot]

4. That's going to leave a mark

[siligut]

5. I wonder if he was going to let them off at it being an attempt at humor

But then he got irritated and let them have it for trying to strong-arm to make up for their shoddy knowledge of the law.

[Scuba]

7. Oh, I suspect they knew the law.

[Deep13]

6. Fucking small town bullies.

excellent response.

[GeorgeGist]

8. westorange.info comments

On behalf of Florida, California and parts of Europe, I request you refrain from mentioning oranges on this site. People may become confused and try to juice your site, or take a bite of it, resulting in serious mouth or blender damage.
63 •Reply•Share ›

hippysuperstar • 18 hours ago
I'm thoroughly confusted by this site. Is this the real official West Orange site? If only there were some legal knight in shining armor to protect me from such confustication.
35 •Reply•Share ›

John • a day ago
Best website ever.
20 •Reply•Share ›

Jon • 16 hours ago
Quick get some ads up here your site is going viral!
18 •Reply•Share ›

henry44 • 20 hours ago
There's too much 'confustion' here
14 •Reply•Share ›

YerRolodex • 19 hours ago
I'm not confusted at all. Best $3.17 you ever spent.
12 •Reply•Share ›

Average Joe • 18 hours ago
This isn't the official site for West Orange?!? I'm so confusted.
11 •Reply•Share ›

Cat • 14 hours ago
This website is a lot less orange than I would have expected. Disappointing and confusting.
10 •Reply•Share ›

Jay • 12 hours ago
I am so glad this website exists. This website more than satisfies all my West Orange Info needs.
8 •Reply•Share ›

Dave • 15 hours ago
You have the best lawyer ever. Congrats on this work of art!
7 •Reply•Share ›

Jake Freivald Mod Dave • 15 hours ago
Approve.
2 •Reply•Share ›

Steve Jake Freivald • 13 hours ago
He is better than Barry Zuckercorn. And he's very good.
5 •Reply•Share ›

Carrie • 17 hours ago
How can it be West Orange if it's on the East Coast, and too far north to grow oranges? I'd change your name if I were you. Otherwise, next thing you know, Tropicana might say the name is trademark confusing.
5 •Reply•Share ›

Jake Freivald Mod Carrie • 11 hours ago
I'm sorry, you misspelled "confusting".
7 •Reply•Share ›

Devon_Nullman • 18 hours ago
I see you have a designated "area" called "Gregory Neighborhood List" - I knew a person 35 years ago named "Gregory" and I hereby demand you to cease and desist using his name.
5 •Reply•Share ›

Jake Freivald Mod Devon_Nullman • 11 hours ago
Area 51 called to complain about the use of "area", too. This is getting way too complicated.
3 •Reply•Share ›

[wryter2000]

16. Site's swamped

I can't get through. This is really funny.

[PatrynXX]

21. Resource limit reached

oops. hey think he can sue for the fact his sites down!!

[DRoseDARs]

29. Hello, I represent the township of East Orange. WE WILL BURY YOU, capitalist dogs!

eom

[Hissyspit]

40. "This website is a lot less orange than I would have expected"

[Poll_Blind]

9. Oh SNAP! Okay, that took a while to read but it was worth it!

PB

[Gothmog]

10. Great letter

Thank you for sharing

[Wait Wut]

11. This is why I never tell lawyer jokes.

Besides the fact that I come from a long (really long) line of attorneys (and politicians) and know that most of them have a wicked sense of humor, the majority of the attorneys I've known have been Democrats and willing to fight for the little guy. Yes, it's a job and they get paid (except for pro bono, obviously). Many of them deserve it. I only wish I could have followed in their footsteps.

I still remember when my divorce attorney told me that my husband was seeking spousal support. I asked "What did you tell his lawyer?" The response, "Well, after about 5 minutes I stopped laughing and then told him to tell his client to get a job."

[ajk2821]

20. I agree with your post up to the last lines...

As a At Home Dad (quit my job to take care of our kids), I would like to think that (God forbid) I get a divorce that I would get the same court ordered support that thousands and thousands of women have gotten without being belittled or harassed by a divorce attorney.

[Wait Wut]

22. Oh, I agree with you 100%.

Problem is, I was a single mom from a previous relationship. My ex had no children/dependents. I was making a decent income at the time and he was living off of me for the last 9 months of our marriage. He claimed he was responsible for 'babysitting', but I had to pay his cousin (our neighbor) to watch my son because he was too busy having friends over and getting high.

Trust me, there was a damned good reason why my attorney was laughing.

[Dustlawyer]

27. Thank you! Good or bad, all lawyers get hammered by lawyer jokes and people that just assume

that we are all crooked! Most plaintiff attorneys are Democrats by necessity, the Repugs want us out of business and to not have any money to donate to Dems. The U.S. Chamber of Commerce has been executing a plan for the last 30 years to get attitudes towards Plaintiffs and their attorneys to be negative. The McDonalds "hot coffee" case was the beginning. The woman almost died b/c Mickey D's raised the temp of their coffee to have it stay fresh longer and get more coffee per bean. It was reported that "Woman spills coffee, sues, and gets millions." They made it seem frivolous instead of reporting that the woman lost her labia and clitoris even though McDonalds had already confidentially settled other severe burn cases. The Jury awarded her 1 day of coffee sales and the Judge reduced it to $900,000. The case kept others from getting burned as McDonalds lowered the temp back to the industry standard.
Tort reform has spread like wildfire and our rights have been quietly eroding because people think there are too many frivolous cases (there are not, plaintiff attorneys only get paid if we win)! They have stacked the Courts with 100's of right wing nut jobs. Thanks for not discriminating against us!

[Wait Wut]

28. LOL! You're welcome!

Yes, I know the stereotype and I know it's bullshit. One of my clients is a well known 'ambulance chaser' attorney group. Nicest people you could meet. I mentioned a long ago situation that I never pursued because I couldn't find an attorney willing to take the case (though they were all incredibly compassionate and offered plenty of free advice). The lawyer from the 'chaser' group just shook his head. He said the most difficult thing to do is to turn away a client that really needs and deserves help. He said what most people don't understand is that the victim has the cards stacked against them from day one. Unless you're 90% sure you can win, you're just wasting the victims time and possibly causing more emotional damage depending on the case. He said the best he could usually do was refer them to a young attorney that needed the experience. He also mentioned that there are those cases that he just can't refuse even though they will almost surely lose.

We talked for quite awhile. He mentioned how he and others like him get a bad rap, but that his clients appreciation was more important.

Keep up the good work.

[October]

45. Oh that "McDonald's Coffee" case! People still get that wrong!

Thanks for bringing it up here -- and setting the story straight.

If you have a minute, I'd love your take on this:

http://www.upworthy.com/the-coke-ad-that-could-destroy-all-other-products-especially-coke


Thanks.

[RC]

12. If I ever need an attorney again, I want one like that.

[reformist2]

13. Jake Freivald for mayor of West Orange!

[TxDemChem]

14. Love it!

[JBoy]

15. Here's the dork who sent the first letter

P.P.P.S: Nice haircut!

[DeSwiss]

56. What'd ya think?, Salad.....

...or fruit

[Iggo]

17. Best I've seen.

[JohnnyRingo]

18. That reminds me of this classic letter

This is the letter from a self-important season ticket holder:



...and the awesome reply from the legal team:

[AikidoSoul]

33. I'm gonna steal this reply and use it

the next time I get a dumbass demand letter.

Sooo perfect.

Thank you.

[Lucky Luciano]

34. Awesome! Hope it is real!

[JohnnyRingo]

37. It's real from what I understand

Locally, it's legendary and has been a well known piece of Cleveland lore for decades.

[csziggy]

54. Snopes.com says it's real!

http://www.snopes.com/business/consumer/browns.asp

[pacalo]

44. That's beautiful.

[AverageJoe90]

55. LMFAO, man! xD

[davidpdx]

58. A good short comeback

Two sentences and he got slapped down.

[backwoodsbob]

19. absolutely amazing

Kudoes....we need a few million more people to stand up like this

[RitchieRich]

23. It would be a lot funnier if

so many people didn't cave to such by not knowing or affording their rights. Great fantasy though.

[OldHippieChick]

24. "...a kajillion other U.S. Supreme Court free speech cases"

Best citation ever!!!

[muriel_volestrangler]

26. Very good, but sometimes less is more:

The Reply Given in Arkell. v. Pressdram

This case is well known among lawyers and journalists, especially the phrase "I refer you to the reply given in Arkell and Pressdram".

Solicitors' letter to Private Eye:

We act for Mr Arkell who is Retail Credit Manager of Granada TV Rental Ltd.

His attention has been drawn to an article appearing in the issue of Private Eye dated 9th April 1971 on page 4. The statements made about Mr Arkell are entirely untrue and clearly highly defamatory.

We are therefore instructed to require from you immediately your proposals for dealing with the matter. Mr Arkell's first concern is that there should be a full retraction at the earliest possible date in Private Eye and he will also want his costs paid. His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply.

Private Eye's reply:

We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr J. Arkell.

We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows: fuck off.

No further correspondence was received.

http://jackofkent.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/reply-given-in-arkell-v-pressdram.html

[AikidoSoul]

31. BRILLIANT!

and very funny.

K & R and thanks to you n2doc for posting this.

[uppityperson]

32. My child custody lawyer sent one quoting Alice in Wonderland. Good lawyers are great.

[Heathen57]

41. Good lawyers are a treasure.

Our lawyer for my SS case has taken it up to the Federal court level, which shows just how far he will push for his clients.

While not a lawyer, I did quote the opening of Pink Floyd's "The Wall Pt. 2" in a letter that I wrote to the principal and superintendent about a teacher who had left bruises in the shape of her fingers from where she decided to drag him down the office.

I got a letter back begging us not to sue them and the teacher was gone the next year.

[TrogL]

49. Bravo

[ismnotwasm]

42. "Off topic but as long as we're chatting"

[NJCher]

43. yes, bullies, I assure you

I live here and yes, they are bullies of the highest order.

The property maintenance people go around looking for anything remotely out of order. Then they issue a ticket--no warnings--A SUMMONS. The property owner, already being fleeced by property taxes that are among the highest in the nation, goes in to answer the summons and they gang up on the person in a little room, trying to extract as much money as they can from them. Believe me, I have seen this in action. A person with a piece of pipe on their property had $700 extracted from them so fast their head was spinning. Oh, and she was a friend of the judge's. That's what they do for their "friends."

A guy who owned a mall put out a "for rent" sign. He, too, was fined $700.

These people in West Orange municipal government make Tony Soprano look like Mother Theresa.

Oh and don't even try the municipal court judges. They're in on it, too, and hand out fines so incredibly high it would take your breath away. Mayor Bloomberg has a similar scam going in NY. See this:

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/gonzalez-secret-quota-system-heaps-fines-businesses-article-1.1374396

So that's what government has come to here--nothing more than a vehicle to ply money from its citizens.

Oh and the part about the town's web site costing 35k plus 5k a years maintenance is another sad truth. There's all kinds of web talent in this town but this idiot town council saw fit to farm out the job to some outfit in Indiana or someplace like that. Couldn't even award a New Jerseyan the job.


Cher

[steve2470]

47. pretty funny, k&r nt

[pkdu]

50. Yes it is.! My name is Wes Torange and I want my domain name back! Nt

[MisterP]

51. this one's my fave

http://www.regretsy.com/2012/04/25/no-you-cease-and-desist/

[Fantastic Anarchist]

52. That was pure epicness.

Love it.

[Liberal_in_LA]

53. love it

[MADem]

57. Now THAT's a grand use of snark!!!!! nt

[DeeDeeNY]

59. Reminds me of this Groucho Marx story

http://www.chillingeffects.org/resource.cgi?ResourceID=31

[idwiyo]

60. K&R work of art. Bravo!

[TNNurse]

61. I knew

that there were good, sane, no not just sane but brilliant lawyers out there. It is so good to see evidence. We did not need more evidence of idiots in government though.