"No good thing should ever come to an end." Please come CAPTION Darrell Issa!!

[skip fox]

?6

Darrell ("just pop the lock&quot Issa is saying: "Well, for the committee's benefit and for the benefit of their staff let me announce the next series of scandals we will investigate. They will be, in the following order: 1., the granting of Social Security Disability Benefits at the express direction of the President in order to keep the lower classes addicted to government handouts; 2., the general calm demeanor of the White House in the weeks prior to the last Presidential election as an indication of a successful criminal conspiracy to fraudulently report and tabulate the vote; 3., the President's refusal to release the list of books he read in high school and college, as well as poems and essays and chapters of books; 4., the use of birth control by Catholics supporting the President, a list to be made for the Vatican; and least our critics harp that we're getting too personal, 5., an inventory of the White House's purchase of cleaning materials, including those used for the removal of blood."

[skip fox]

1. "Will the witness respond to the question? Did you or did you not smell your mother's underwear?

A simple 'yes' or 'no' will do. . . . We're waiting . . ."

[skip fox]

2. "Just like Benghazi and the IRS scandal, the use of the Presidental Egg Hunt on Easter

to promote the Executive branch at the expense of the Congressional and Judicial branches of the government will reveal unspeakable corruption and criminal activity in the Oval Office!"

[skip fox]

3. "I object to the minority's characterization of car redistribution as a criminal

activity and a drain on society. First of all it helps the economy by giving police and insurance adjustors full employment, which increases tax revenues; it circumvents the monetary lag of planned obsolesce; it employs chop shops and paint berths; it creates a need for ever more car dealerships to make up for the recirculated automobiles; and it creates a health clientele for our court system as well as for the private prison system whose employees, again, pay taxes. . . . You might say that car redistribution is one of the post patriotic acts available to the common man. . . . There should even be a non-combat metal for such . . ."

[skip fox]

4. "Driving a stolen vehicle not evidence of anything except

that you know how to drive."