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Thu Jun 27, 2013, 02:10 PM

"Take that, logic." Please come CAPTION Head Wreck!!!



Glenn ("If there was a pill for me it would be fecal blue" Beck is saying: "If the traditional definition of marriage is cast aside, you cannot logically tell me you can't change another variable: one man, three women. One woman, four men. Two men, three women, and a bakery shop. Two goats, one daffodil and two bad-mitten rackets. A ton of scrap iron, an open wound, three door-mice, and a vat of unprocessed cheese. . . . You get the picture. . . . Who is silly enough to make this stuff up!? . . . Geez."

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Thu Jun 27, 2013, 05:14 PM

1. "And I was just about at my lowest, too drunk to pull down my pants,

and wallowing in hot fecal stew, living under an overpass in Hoboken on a cold January afternoon, I heard a little voice coming from my right shirt pocket. . . . Looking in, I saw a little cockroach looking up at me and scolding me. He told me how a cockroach's life is no bed of roses and how lucky I was to be a drunken bum because I could pull myself together and rake in millions as a dry drunk. . . . Well, the rest is history as they say."

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 11:21 AM

2. "If I was on the Titanic I'd be singing right about now."

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 11:28 AM

3. ''Swing your partner, round-and-round.''

"Kiss the GOP in the behind and lose your mind."

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 11:29 AM

4. "What I wanta know is what happened to Lear's fool? Did he hang himself or what?

He sure knew how to pull things out of his ass. Songs and stuff. I get tired sometimes thinking. And sometimes I smell rubber burning. I used to hate cream in my coffee. Did you ever get cracked in the nuts with a hardball? They say if you hang yourself, you'll pop your fattest nut. Sometimes I like fudge on my ice cream. Once I told a bully to eat his own lunch. Too bad if you hang yourself you die. I always kept my lunchbox clean. Sometimes I'd drink hair tonic if it tasted like alcohol. I had a dog who talked once. He kept telling me to hang myself and see. . . blah, blah, blah"

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 12:09 PM

5. Shit.

That means I'll be hearing this crap all year, because our custodian is a rabid Beck follower. I don't have to listen; I know what Beck is saying because his groupie waits in hallways to jump out at me with the latest.

Shit.

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 12:23 PM

6. "Who is silly enough to make this stuff up!?"

Considering the stufft he just made up, ain't the answer obvious?

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Response to JHB (Reply #6)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 02:59 PM

7. Of course CAPTIONing at DU is a creative activity, but

we often try to channel the essence of the person being satirized, as here.

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Response to skip fox (Reply #7)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 03:40 PM

10. Congrats! In 12 years you're the first Caption-thread ref to chide me...

...for violating protocol. Usually I simply don't qualify for "best caption".

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Response to JHB (Reply #10)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 04:36 PM

11. No chiding, not by me.

I just thought posts #5 & #6 might have made an assumption Beck actually said what was CAPTIONed. It often happens.

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 03:04 PM

8. "I don't want to hear any more about illegal aliens in this country!"

"They should all be gone tomorrow!

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Response to skip fox (Original post)

Fri Jun 28, 2013, 03:15 PM

9. Multiple-partner marriages should be legalized as well...

...if they can work out the details. First off, all current members in a marriage must agree in writing to add another person. E.g., if Jim is married to Sally but also is in love with Brenda, then Sally would have to agree to marry Brenda as well. Brenda would be married to both Jim and Sally; Sally would be married to both Brenda and Jim, and Jim would be married to both Brenda and Sally.

If Sally falls in love with Derek, then Jim and Brenda would also have to agree to marry Derek. Each person in the marriage would be married to three other people.

This would give you have all the problems of inheritance, visitation, parental rights, child custody, etc. I bet the lawyers would like it, though.

I think that, given the human condition on this issue, where it's hard enough to get 2-person marriages, only a very tiny percentage of 3+ marriages would even exist anyway. And I'll bet that those are by rich fucks trying to preserve their wealth somehow.

If we can't figure out how that could work, then we probably should not have 3+ marriages.




If I married a block of cheddar and then ate it, would it be homicide?

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