I believe it's time for a 1-state experiment. Give them what they want!

[xfundy]

T-bags and repigs have many, many theories about how states, and the nation, should be run. I propose we give them one state to test out their theories for, what a year? OK, however long they believe it would take them to reach the "freedom" they so desperately want and believe the rest of us are denying them, though we'd have to put some limit on the experiment. Two years? Five? OK, fine.

There are several states that would be perfect for this experiment; several have spoken about their desire to dislodge themselves from our godless, demonic nation. Texas, of course, but how would we get those who don't want to be a part of this experiment out to a safe place? That would take money, tons of it.

How about South Carolina? They've made noises about breaking away, and there's even a large effort to move Christians there so they can create their own paradise, complete with "biblical" rules that restrain thoughts and actions in every waking moment.

For the sake of whatever, let's let SC carry out that experiment. Of course we'd have to airlift to safety many of Charleston's citizens, as well as many from other cities, but I'm sure the UN would work with us in that humanitarian effort.

OK, so now South Carolina is its own Christian Nation, as so many of them have claimed they want to be. Great! Presumably they will still want to trade with the USA, though that will require heavily guarded checkpoints, of course. They will not be able to access our porno, and as a different nation will need to set up and clarify their position on whether they want their citizens to have internet access at all. They will surely block broadcast and cable networks that serve other states, but just in case, we'll make sure they aren't stealing them from our nation.

As they are a separate country, we will be eager to sell them our produce, grown in states they hate, for a premium. Also, computers and software designed in "evil" California will be available, just as they are in other countries hostile to the USA.

More to come.

[xfundy]

1. Since this new nation of South Carolina will have unlimited guns

we must make sure the borders around it are secure and that fences are unbreachable. Of course they can trade with China to keep their Wal-marts, the only stores allowed in that nation, stocked, but those stores will lawfully be prohibited from being a part of the rest of the chain, as they are even more brutal than those in other areas, including China.

Oh, and no guns for "blah people," cuz they are violent because they were given so much from us Whites since forever and they don't even say thank you, they are ungrateful and ingrates and don't like my confederate flag on the back of my truck. This is the definition of no respect for me as a white man cuz I earned their respect by not tying them to the back of my truck. I let some of them ride back there when I got a contract to dig a ditch for $250 and paid all five of them $10 to do it while I went to a Chuck Norris movie. I love entrepenurship (sp? who cares, it's French).

There will be no "minimum wage laws" in this Christian utopia of South Carolina. Everyone will be grateful for any work they can get, and all are welcome to eat whatever manna falls from heaven, by law. Those who starve either didn't pray hard enough or didn't have the idea to go to college 20+ years ago while living in a trailer park trying to eat occasionally. They are stupid losers who should just shut up and get out of South Carolina, or, better yet, volunteer to be targets at the gun range in exchange for a coupon raffle for Burger King™'s daily tossing of seven day old burgers. Oh, and they shouldn't have been too stupid to go to college or trade school 20-40 years ago, and there is no time machine to get back there, so fuck them, the damn leaches.

They should have planned better, like i did. When my grandaddy died, I bought me a truck that I use to haul them around so they can do the work while I get the money.

[johnnyreb]

19. Report from deep inside South Cayuh'lina:

...please kindly send us another column or three of Yankees.

[Politicalboi]

2. I think you're gonna need a bigger boat

SC wouldn't be big enough for the nuttery bunch. I say include Texass. And they would also need their own Army so Mexico doesn't decide to take it back and turn them into slaves. They would also need their own currency, I guess confederate bills would do. With Rick Perry's picture on them. He's got the best hair.

We could have an adopt a family to save the sane Dem's who happen to live there by no fault of their own. Or maybe the churches can buy them out.

[xfundy]

25. True. The only reason I chose South Carolina

is that for years there's been a fundy plan to take over a state, and they had chosen SC, in part because of the presence of ocean access, presumably so they can repel an invasion from France and French's Mustard. Florida would be a contender, and maybe Bugs Bunny could finally saw it off and kick it close to Cuba, which would kick it further away by connecting all their pre-1960 automobile engines to power a gigantic boot.

Texas is already talking about secession, has lots of idiots, including the worldwide spokesBush, though we'd have to airlift Austin, perhaps to South Carolina or Atlanta.

Whichever state is chosen, their water must not be allowed to integrate with ours, nor should their air, so they should be covered in a giant bubble of bulletproof (duh) glass. They'll get all the Monsanto mutant seed as well as the company itself, and probably half the population of Colorado Springs and Focus on the Fa**ots, as well as those counties that want to secede from CO as well.

Likely they will establish an army whose uniform shirts will be bright orange so the Cheeto™ stains don't show, and brown pants in the event of war (figure that one out), which will, of course, be their main industry, and soon after establishing Jesustan, they will blame each other, mainly through Fox Noise, which will naturally be headquartered there, of course with no transmission into the newly revived, thriving country of America.

[napi21]

3. I can't wait to see the South Carolinian reaction when they find out they get NO SS,

NO unemployment, NO welfare, NO food stamps, their new gov't will have to cover ALL the cost of building and fixing all their roads, bridges, etc. fund the schools, and every other program they currently receive fed. help for.

I actually wish something like that could happen....just to prove our point!

[Politicalboi]

5. That's what emergency rooms are for

And the church and your neighbors can help out. And with the newly graveled streets, you'll think you're flying, with the wind hitting your face because the gravel broke your windshield. And Billy Bob is the new teacher at school. He'll do it all for 3 six packs and Dorito's for a days pay. Hell, he'll even share with the kids in his after school gun classes. Yup, sounds like heaven on Earth. I wish we could give them what they want.

[xfundy]

47. Indeed! Can you imagine all the lawyers from Pat Robertson U

making TONS of money suing those patients who did what the (R)party told them to do? This will probably be the basis of their economy, the "shit through a goose and back again" model. The invisible hand will clap!

[xfundy]

26. They want it bad.

We should help them get it.

[jmowreader]

4. Not South Carolina. There's a major port and a couple of military bases there

The LAST fucking thing we need is for Parris Island and Fort Jackson to wind up in a foreign country.

Let's give them Iowa. Its only military base is an Army ammunition plant, it's thick with right wingers and it has cropland they could use to create exports.

[KamaAina]

17. Um, wait a minute. Iowa was behind only Massachusetts on marriage equality.

It's hardly the vast wasteland many believe. Really only Steve King's district is.

[jmowreader]

36. Then where is there for them to go?

I first thought Nebraska, but giving them Nebraska would turn them into a nuclear power. Kansas has Fort Riley, KS and South Dakota are both on major east-west Interstates, Louisiana is too critical to the oil industry, Alaska has too hostile a climate...I don't know, maybe Utah north of I-70?

Here's the best plan:



See where the state starts to get narrower? Divide Idaho into two states at that line, and give them the southern half.

[KamaAina]

37. That's a tough call

most of the real crazies, like the white supremacists and the nutjobs who want to build a walled city with a gun factory, are in the northern half.

[jmowreader]

40. Woah, woah, woah...hold on just a fucking second there...

The nutjobs who want to build the walled city with the gun factory are from West Virginia. The letters to the editor of the newspaper that serves the county where that walled city is proposed, are 100 percent AGAINST the walled city.

And you know Richard Butler's dead?

[xfundy]

49. You guys got me thinking...

Perhaps we should OFFSHORE this project, this KKKancervative Utopia! No doubt there are vast stretches of land in the Middle East that would be large enough to achieve this, plus they'd be close to BABYJESUSLAND! Not close enough to infect Israel of course, since they loves it so much, and there'd be the bullet-proof bubble, which would certainly be received as the covering of Sheol in early understandings of Earth there.

Folks, I'm gettin' excited here, this is all coming to fruition thanks to my gift of Prophecy™, but wait, that's not all you get! For the first time in history, no deity is asking you to send Him money! Neither am I!

M'frenzz, all we need to do is help guide those who want this kind of existence right to it! They'd be willing to pay ANYTHING to have it! I'm willing to help them!

[jmowreader]

56. It's long been an unofficial DU feeling...

...that shipping every teabagger, freeper, fundie and any other form of right-wing asshole to Somalia could only improve both Somalia and the US.

[xfundy]

61. But, wouldn't they be s-s-scared of the dark people there?

This is gonna take massive humanitarian airlifts, I guess.

Waiting for more information...

[jmowreader]

64. If you were a dark person living in Somalia...

and Somalia suddenly filled up with teabaggers, you'd probably leave.

To paraphrase a Shrubbery that turned out to be false, the nice thing about Somalia is they don't have a word for "real estate agent."

[xfundy]

65. Again, humanitarian airlifts.

Paid for from the fees, not taxes, of course, but entry fees into the amazing amusement-delusement park of KKKancervative 'Murkkka!

They won't have any planes, cuz planes ain't in the buybull. In fact, they won't have nothin' that ain't in that book! Except the Golden Bull that sits outside Wall St., which they will worship, or "Doubleworship" as is their custom. And, in a humanitarian gesture, we will give them Shrimp, which are unclean in the OT, shrimp from the Gulf of Mexico, which are unclean, mutated, poisoned thanks to BP, we will give them those shrimp, which they can fry without further oil and argue over, perhaps fight wars over (I'm looking forward to watching it on NSA-TV!), and divide themselves yet again into pure vs more pure vs more white vs more actually white, vs white as hell, vs white as hell with motorcycles so you shut up!, vs "I just took a bath in lamb's blood, and my hands are wrinkle free" vs "I just ate some uranium, so I have super powers for the next four minutes," etc.

I expect it to be a major income source for NSA-TV, and will tune in if I can afford cable by then.

[Change has come]

69. do you have a link?

I haven't been following this whack job group lately.

[PlanetaryOrbit]

31. You have it wrong. Iowa is a relatively Democrat state.

A lot of people seem to think it's solidly conservative the way rural states like Wyoming and Montana are, but it isn't.


In fact, if I'm not mistaken, hasn't Iowa voted for the Democrat candidate in 5 out of the last 6 presidential elections?

[xfundy]

50. Actually, it's a relatively DemocratIC state.

But thanks for playing!

[bravenak]

83. Democrats say democratic.

The more you know...

[pangaia]

57. Not much in Iowa But--

There are the Quad City Bandits in Davenport right on the Mississississippppi River

http://www.milb.com/content/page.jsp?ymd=20080412&content_id=41285672&sid=t565&vkey=team1

Don't want to give them up and the beautiful Modern Woodman Park...

[xfundy]

75. Bandits? Bandits?

They sure sound like republikkkans! Hope they'll change their name once the new state of Glory Hole opens!

[gordianot]

6. Missouri is close to breaking away from the Union barring Federal firearms laws.

They intend to make it a crime to enforce Federal law on firearms. As a resident of Missouri I will resist Missouri secession.

[DemocraticWing]

7. Let's Use the Newt Gingrich Idea

And use only conservatives to populate his moon colony!

[xfundy]

60. Are you sure? You really want to look at that every night?

No, no thank you. The moon, or viewing of such, is often a part of a romantic evening, and is poeticized as such. And most of us can't see any other planet unaided. However, if our scientists were to do some constructive shuffling, the moon could be moved into the space of, and gain the name of, Uranus, while that unfortunately named planet could be redeemed and become our "moon," but without the unfortunate correlative, as long as it agrees not to spread its cheeks, because, ew.

Meanwhile, the KKKlancervative planet, once it's off our shores and out of our universe, can go around exposing itself to other planets, other worlds, and will likely find itself recipient of destructive rays, which is fine with me.

[Warpy]

8. You're all wrong. Giving them Florida is the only choice

when you really think carefully about it. The state is mostly out of the way and won't affect travel and shipping in the other 49 states. There are a lot of people there who are sick of Republican tomfoolery and would love to sell their houses to newcomers, if there were any newcomers. It's hot, buggy, and without Federal programs, will again become a great place to catch malaria, yellow fever and dengue.

We can sell them on all the beaches they can no longer get to because Jebbie allowed his developer friends to wall them off with high rise condos so there is no public access.

It's also a great place for the godly since it's on a major storm track and the preachers can all congratulate themselves over the people god didn't kill.

Best of all, it's sinking.

[durablend]

16. Yeah and when we get sick of them...

[xfundy]

27. That's the stuff.

But only after they're all on the new island.

[csziggy]

52. Finish the Cross Florida Barge Canal and give them the part south of that line!

[KamaAina]

18. We'd have to build an alternate route to I-10

through southern Alabama and Georgia. Alabamians in particular would also miss easy access to the Panhandle beaches.

But that's about it. Buh-bye!

[xfundy]

28. Well, if Texas isn't "god's chosen place,"

Alabama can easily be tied to Florida, primarily through FlorAla, not a fictional town.

[jwirr]

22. We can also save money by closing down the military bases in that state and bringing the

equipment to another state near by. The snow birds can all come home and spend their money down their. This sounds like the best plan so far.

[bluestate10]

41. South Florida and Central Florida are liberal, why abandon those parts of Florida?

BTW. Republicans in Florida lost seats during the 2012 election. I can't think of a state that deserves all teabaggers and the right. I like Newt's idea, send them to the moon.

[xfundy]

44. Simple solution. Airlift them out, make the new residents

pay twice the fair market rate of their homes, condos, all properties, then airplane rides to wherever they want to live in the new Free and Equal America.

Of course, world scientists would gladly work on ways to shrink their homes, etc., and re-embiggen such at the site of their choosing in the Home of the Actual Brave – Now Cheeto-fingers-Free!).

[OffWithTheirHeads]

9. They already have Somolia! What more do they want?

[B Calm]

10. Give them Kansas

[xfundy]

29. Many KS residents can move to the new "Promised Land"

along with the tornadoes. And sharks. Perhaps the two can be combined in some as-yet unimagined manner.

[jmowreader]

39. You want them controlling Interstate 70?

[bluestate10]

42. We can build another Interstate around them because we would then be able to fund

infrastructure rebuilding. I say keep Kansas, send the right to the moon.

[jmowreader]

58. That would cost the American people WAY too much, and not just in roadbuilding

How much fuel would it cost to divert trucks around Kansas?

Actually, I found the PERFECT place to make the RW nation...the Delmarva Peninsula. Look it up on the map. They can't choke off interstate commerce from there. The only military base in Delaware is Dover AFB, and its primary function can be moved to somewhere else...Hanscom Field, MA, maybe? Its industry is credit, and that can be moved to South Dakota or another state without a usury rate pretty easily.

[struggle4progress]

11. I think we can give them some space 50 or 60 miles due south of Miami

[wandy]

12. I like this idea. I see only one problem. We could never allow them back in...........

It would become something like an upscaled version of Somalia. The lack of a minimum wage and labor laws would attract any number of multinational companies however the income disparity would rival the most primitive third world countries. The human condition would sink to that of the 1830s. That of course being what the PTBs would want.
As health care would be only for the well appointed and no funding would be provided for waist disposal, considerable caution would need be taken to assure that interstate travel did not spread disease.
Additional problems would arise for any state 'down river' as any water flowing from that state would be a devils mix of raw sewage and toxic chemicals.
Naturally it would be a 'good christian' state however that in and of itself would bring about problems. Which brand of christanity would dominate. Would it be protestant or baptist or even catholic.
Religious disputes combined with the abundance of weaponry would provide an environment similar to many Middle Eastern countries. Until one cult obtained dominance, sectarian gangs would be free to oppress and possibly murder those not biding by the rules of their particular god.
Yes it would be a republican paradise.

Unfortunately, repatriating them would be as difficult as turning Syria, in it's current condition into the fifty first state.

[xfundy]

30. Fortunately, they can never return to the USA

As they are traitors, and almost certainly diseased.

[Alkene]

13. Once this Conservatopia is established...

will there be a secured border to prevent illegal immigration?

Just spitballin' here.

[xfundy]

14. Of course.

Let's build the dang fence!

[durablend]

15. Electrified with a moat I'd hope? n/t

[xfundy]

32. Yes.

A moat full of demons. Construction will include drilling a hole straight to Hell, for easy access.

Demons will certainly love to vacation there, or immigrate as year-round residents.

[raccoon]

98. How about a moat full of gators? nt

[brooklynite]

20. See the "Free State Project".....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_state_project

or, for the relious among them...Christian Exodus

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Exodus

[xfundy]

33. New Hampshire wouldn't allow it.

They's libruls up thar!

[brooklynite]

43. No, no. no...you're not paying attention

The idea (seriously) is that they all move to New Hampshire and become a voting majority in each electoral district.

[xfundy]

45. Geez, I forgot about their actual plan.

I've been to New Hampshire, and their plan to turn it into New Hampster On A Wheel is pure evil.

But once they're offered a shot at their version of paradise, they'll load up their trucks and move there. On the other hand, Delaware is tax-free, but I love Poodle Beach too much to allow them to fill it with beer bottles, oil, used needles, bullet casings and general pollution.

OK, what about that Dakota (N? S?) with the mountain sculpture of the presidents? Our scientists could move it somehow and replace it with one made out of toxic earth from all over the current USA. They could go there and all shoot their guns at it just as their taliban mirrors shot up those ancient buddhist sculptures? The joke would be on them, though -- after they shot it up the faces on the mountain would resemble Clinton, Obama, JFK and Krusty the Klown!

[BlueJazz]

21. I think the idea is wonderful. The dumb fucks can live in their paradise until...

...the Rapture sends their asses to where-ever.

[johnnyreb]

23. Bawn and raised in South Carolina....

...laughing my ass off at this thread! Nice break from the crying.

[xfundy]

46. My condolences.

SC used to be full of "christian" racists, moonshiners, that big-ass peach water tower in Gaffney, some good camping, pristine waters and a beach named after Myrtle, who was probably into good times and bad taffy.

Nowadays it's full of the same, but all recreated out of hate, or bad taffy, take yer choice. Oh, and the pristine has been replaced by chemicals. Still, all of that can be exported to the new KKKancervative Paradise™, so it's all good.

[johnnyreb]

62. Thanks fer the condolences, but

where yew gonna put all thet TRASh without South Carolina!

The S.C. Supreme Court delivered a costly setback this week to the neighbors of a huge Lee County garbage dump that had been ordered to pay them $2.3 million in damages for sending powerful odors across the countryside near Bishopville.
(....)
In a unanimous opinion Wednesday, the S.C. Supreme Court said invisible odors that float from one person’s property to a neighbor’s land aren’t trespassing. Trespassing occurs only when “physical, tangible things” intrude on a person’s property, the court said.
http://www.thestate.com/2013/08/16/2924504/supreme-court-rules-for-mega-landfill.html

The mega landfill rises like a mesa on the horizon near Bishopville. The landfill, which is sarcastically called, Mt. Lee, by some.

[xfundy]

66. God, that is so sad.

And so fucked up. But, it's the modern smell of money, I guess. Still, I hope those who have that fragrant death scent float over their land will have the air analyzed for toxins, etc. and sue the fuck out of those who went out of their way to buy upwind.

Keep us updated on this. This is serious, not only in terms of lost property value but of health in general.

[johnnyreb]

68. Will do, and thanks for the hilarious thread.

See ya around-- gotta go huff some corporate mountain air.

[Mc Mike]

24. How about instead of giving up some of our land to them, they follow Dana Perino's sage advice,

and just get out of our country if they don't like it here.

[xfundy]

34. Well, let's think that one through.

Much of current America's land has been infected with toxicants. However, this land could be scooped up, placed into lead-lined trucks or trains, and be used to create magnificent mountains in this new butt-holey nation. Imagine the amusement parks they could create with this unnatural resource! We know it's dangerous, they "know" it's not, so they can have it, gratis. What's not to love?

[Mc Mike]

80. Some toxic version of Venice, built with Superfund site materials.

Still need a location. I suggest Bhopal, Fukushima, or the Niger Delta.

[xfundy]

81. Excellent suggestions!

And those places thought they couldn't get more toxic. HA!

[Mc Mike]

91. That makes me feel even more sorry for those nations, but

with all those righties gone from our politics, our resulting Dem government should have no trouble voting on an aid package to the impacted nation, allowing us to pay rent for using their property to warehouse our former citizens.

[xfundy]

92. Hell, no!

The Klanservatives need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and pay their own way. Period.

That's what Jesus would do.

[xfundy]

93. You know, the more I think about your post

The more I think you might like pizza.

Do you like pizza?

[Mc Mike]

94. Based on what, xf?

I'm baffled about what you could possibly read into my posts, that gives aid and comfort to the repugs.

To make it simple, here's my view.

When they win power, they tell us they have a mandate, the people have spoken, anyone who disagrrees with them should shut up and let them govern their crazy right wing way, or get out of the country. Any disagreement with them is called treason. Then they drag all policy to the far right, destroying the whole country, wrecking everything in sight, on all fronts. 20 years of Raygun and the bush family, 15 years of Gingrich, Hastert, and Boehner, have caused massive damage to the nation.

When we win, they display their displeasure via obstruction, nullification, secession threats, 2nd amendment remedies, violence, assassination. All essentially are threats of civil war, actual treason by the losing side. Just shows you the double think they are capable of, when they are assessing the 'sacredness' of elections, the will of the people, and listening when 'democracy has spoken'.

I took it for granted that you don't really feel the repugs have the right to carve a part out of the US and take it over, but were speaking tongue in cheek about how great it would be if they were gone from our electoral politics and the mainstream of our society. And any society composed purely of their people would quickly fall flat on its face. I agree with the feeling, but then we simultaneously have Perino nattering away on FOX about the 'pledge of allegiance' controversy. In this case, her loser party feels they speak from a position where they 'represent the will of the people', where their party 'is' America, and where anyone who disagrees with 'her America' and the 'sacredness of democracy' can get out of the country. (Of course, they're wrong on this issue, too.)

Me pointing out that their diseased political thinking is schizo, containing two diametrically opposed ideas that they are capable of holding at the same time, double think, is not a very good endorsement of their party's views.

But if one of their ideas has to be enacted, I vote for malcontent repugs to take advice from malcontent repugs Perino and Limbaugh -- I vote for them to just leave, instead of voting for us to ceed control of part of our country to them.

[xfundy]

96. "allowing us to pay rent for using their property to warehouse our former citizens."

That struck me as an attempt to "prove" that libruls are out of control spenders.

[Mc Mike]

97. There's plenty I could say about the GOP causing our national debt.

Last edited Sun Sep 22, 2013, 07:41 AM - Edit history (1)

And about the reality of our foreign aid packages going to despotic dictators for 'defense' of our 'national interests' (which just means the interests of big corporations' profits abroad, not the interests of our citizens.)

And about the unprecedented repug legislative obstruction of the last 4 presidential terms where the people elected a Dem.

And about US multinational corps' connections to all the high profile disasters in the 3 countries I mentioned.

But I think your accusation and threat of pizza is a real stretch. The fact that you don't back off of it is showing that your 'orthodoxy sniffer' is on the fritz. So nothing I can say can placate you. If I were you, and felt the way you do, I'd alert or call mirt.

[former9thward]

82. "America, Love It or Leave It!"

Old right wing slogans from the 60s get recycled here on DU.

[Mc Mike]

90. I was just pointing out that a repug aide to l'il bush was

currently using this right wing slogan, to tell people who she disagrees with politically, to get out of America.

[trof]

35. I'll take one for the team. ALABAMA!

We're already 100% repug in all state offices.
Vast repug majority in state legislature, both houses.
Roy Moore is once again Chief Justice.
IT. CAN. NOT. GET. ANY. WORSE.

So, bring it on.
I have nothing to lose.

[xfundy]

38. Get down to Flor-Ala.

Bring lots of chains, rope, glue, whatever you can do to tie Alabama to Florida. Then email [e-mail]. Tell him to bring a big saw.

Thank you for your service to America!

[0rganism]

48. how can we give what they're already taking?

About half the states are controlled by republicans. Of that half, about 5 states are completely batshit-insane supermajority republican. They're already conducting their experiment whether we like it or not.

And that's democracy.

[xfundy]

53. You could have been so much fun if not for the 2 extraneous letters

in your name.

Indeed they are conducting their "experiments." Many of us, though, would prefer not to have to breathe the fallout created as a result.

Yes, Democracy is a continuing experiment, a shaky one lately. But experiments using dangerous elements should have safety controls.

[0rganism]

55. hey don't give up so easy, i can still be fun :D

I'm not a big fan of closed borders; I'm willing to breath some fallout if it means people can change their minds and opt out of the experiment any time they want, or (yikes!) decide to leave a saner state and go live in the experiment.

Our experiments with democracy have always been conducted with dangerous materials; we can only hope our federal laws provide some limits on how much poison can be injected at the state level.

Speaking of poisons, that's a big problem with just "letting one go unchecked". If the republicans decide to completely ignore all environmental regulation to go forward with their exploitation of nature, air and ground water don't use the same borders humans do. True isolation in that sense is hard to achieve.

[xfundy]

67. But that's why there's a bullet-proof "Sheol" over Christo-KKKlanistan!

See, they want isolationism, and I want them to have it as well!

Sorry if I was unclear earlier, but once we isolate the KKKristers (as they desperately want) we can let them carry on their experiments under the bullet-proof, nuclear-proof dome we will donate to them as a Church Donation, depleting the funds the US gov't has taken from taxpayers, mostly to give Pat Robertson money since the Bush years. And, bonus! Pat will go to that new nation as well, and keep spewing his hatred and keep taking money from idiots he frightens. It's a perfect self-sustaining system!

Don't worry about the environmental implications in this case! Republicans will have their OWN environment to play with, giant magnifying glasses included, and all Monsanto properties in there as well. A giant dome will cover their ass-Holy ground, bullet-proof, nuke-proof, and lead lining at least 100 feet down will prevent them from fouling Mother Earth any further than they've done! Rivers that may exist there will be re-run into the water supply, and they can use prayer to purify the waste water. IT WILL WORK, they tell us, so SURE, OK, let's not doubt them.

If any of them want to visit the USA, they can be screened for diseases, including hate >>AAAANNNKKKK<< they'd most likely fail that one, but if they pass, there are more tests they can take, to ensure that America is no reinfected.

[napi21]

51. I'm voting to make it TEXAS!

Yea I know there are bases there, but they can be moved. The population, the Governor, and several, if not all of their reps are for seceding.. I don't think we could hope for a better place for all the freepers to go. Hay, there's sure enough room for everybody!

[xfundy]

54. You make a valid point.

And once Monsanto gets ahold of that cattle without any librul "gubmint reggylations," IMAGINE how fat they'll grow, and what miracles will grow out of them! Leather boots and purses, no longer any need for even cheap Chinese slave labor! BAM! Pick up your finery and a burger at the same time! With freedom fries made from potatoes as big as a house that fry themselves and have a conversation with you as they wait! Don't worry, the Monsantos are working on fixing that unforeseen development in which the potato brains can actually feel and express pain! Your daughter will stop crying and get over it as she tastes the deliciousness of the resulting Freedom Fry, which will be dipped into W Ketchup™, which, thankfully, still exists, but strangely denies any connection to the Bush/Kerry thang (It's true! I emailed them!)

[lutefisk]

59. Wisconsin has been their petrie dish for 2 years

And not one good thing has happened here since those evil bastards started experimenting on us.

Sucks to be us.

[xfundy]

63. Humanitarian airlift for you!

I saw that King of the Hill episode where Bobby ate too much lutefisk, and the result of that could be a powerful energy source, so don't count yourself out! And all the Ikea catalogs could be re-sourced into useful products, so look on the bright side.

Plus, your cheese-cultivation secrets would be as useful to us as those of the French, so welcome to America! You'll fit right in.

Wisconsin has just officially become an alternative site for the cage, er, New KKKristian Promised Land! I, for one, salute you, once you're back in Real America. Your cheese will have to be screened for hate-germs, though.

Welcome!

[nebenaube]

70. fix the GAB

I seriously doubt that Walker won either of his elections, neither did Prosser. In fact, I seriously doubt that many of the 'Republicans' that went to the state house as a result of the 2010 election actually won their races. But no one will ever know because the Wisconsin GOP is full of felons and the GAB IS CORRUPTED.

[xfundy]

71. I agree.

I doubt the country is HALF as stupid as the "election results" show all over the nation. Recall Rove on election night -- he knew the fix was in, but someone (hackers?) caught the fix and unfixed it.

[xfundy]

72. OK. Let's discuss governance of this new country.

Who will be elected Preznit? I propose they get Bush, Jr, who they luuuurved very, very much. VP? Why not Dan Quayle, just to multiply the stupid. Both, of course, report only to Jesus™ and the corporations.

Everybody gets their own nuclear weapon. Period. At birth, to begin using immediately to settle all arguments, most of which will be over who's in better standing with Jesus, sitting at his right hand, etc.

A strict dress code will be needed, of course, for women, and those under 35 will wear bikinis year round. Those who are not considered "hot" will be sent to state-owned work farms. Women over 35 will wear the Holy Burkka!™ line of fashion imported from the Asian part of the country, where low wages make happy employees.

[ladyVet]

73. OMG! This thread is cracking me up.

Hey, my fundy ex-husband was born in SC. Can I get him deported?

[xfundy]

74. You mean "saved?" Sure!

Once it is decided from on high which state will be Republistan, he'll be in a holy rush to get there! He'll "self deport!"

[Initech]

76. You haven't heard of the Citadel Project I take it.

http://www.iiicitadel.com/

Puta bunch of armed, angry, dangerous lunatics in a walled off city miles from civilization. Oh and feed them anti government propaganda 24/7. This is their dream world. And it will not end well.

[xfundy]

77. They're thinking too small!

Well, maybe they could replicate the design all over the new nation.

[Initech]

78. That's not the only thing of theirs that's small!! WOO!!!

/Bender

[xfundy]

79. Marcus Bachmann will be in charge of pecker-checks.

[bravenak]

84. This is a great idea but I think we'd better move them off continent.

We can sell them spaces in a new Christlandia compound in Greenland. They have to buy in to this exclusive opportunity starting at the low low price of everything they own. After the government of the United States deducts their portion of the federal debt from the fund they will be free to use the remaining cash to set up their Christian free market bootstraps utopia.
Upon returning to the US they must wait in line to re apply for citizenship. No cuts, no buts, no coconuts. Get in line behind the Dreamers and everyone else. If they're caught without papers? Deport!
It would be fun to watch.

[xfundy]

85. Excellent idea.

However, they must be screened for disease, as Christopia will have no healthcare and no gubmint regulations, so disease will be rampant, but (R) docs will gladly treat those who can pay with either an arm, a leg, or out the ass.

The main disease to screen for, though, is HATE. Irrational hate against Real Americans. I'm not talking about the "Real Americans" Palin, et al screeched about. I mean the Real Americans who work, even if it takes two or more jobs, to put food on their family.

If the Hate, even milliparticles (I don't care, spellcheck, if that's not a word) of it are on or in them, they have a chance of going to decontamination centers, to have that alleviated.

[bravenak]

86. I'll allow for decontamination centers but they must purchase Obamacare policies at Cobra rates.

It's only fair since its a pre existing condition.
If they can't be cured they should have to be sent to the Death Panels to decide whether we euthanize them or put them in a FEMA camp. Last thing we need is another Benghazi epidemic.

[xfundy]

87. I just got off the RED phone to BabyJesus™

And he supports this idea without reservation. Whoever opposes Him will get a sandal kick to the face.

Thus, the motion is carried.

[bravenak]

88. Oh goody, lets say a prayer.

http://m.

&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D8HfwnpGDFD8

[xfundy]

89. So many replies. So few recs. Why?

I'm not trying to guilt anyone into rec'-ing, but many of us have been enjoying this little bit of disposable humor. I have been told I should rec my own joke-thread, but that's kinda like jerking off in public, and the last time I did that...

Fur real, though, if you're enjoying this thread as well as I am, seeing the ingenious ideas injected into it, I'd appreciate a rec or two. I find it healthy to imagine a world in which Repigs/T-bags/Christopublicans actually follow through on their threats. Like those idiots who took off on a boat for Jesus, then ended up getting rescued by, like three or four countries' boats.

Like my idea? Hate it? Go right ahead. It's a free country, at the moment.

[ileus]

95. Why not a 10 or 35 state experiment?

Why stop at one? Give everyone who wants to move a year to move either Red or Blue. Maybe 3 years for planning and moving, by then the outlandish BS would become obvious and the whole plan would be scrapped.