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Betty Crocker is a pro-homo, anti-christian socialist homofascist communist librul traitor 2 Murkkka (Original Post) xfundy Oct 2013 OP
Lettuce doesn't pray. Chan790 Oct 2013 #1
Off with their heads NuclearDem Oct 2013 #2
Leaf this alone, nothing good will turnip here jberryhill Oct 2013 #3
I artichoke you for those veggie puns. NuclearDem Oct 2013 #5
You'll have to beet me first jberryhill Oct 2013 #6
You'll have to do butter than that. NuclearDem Oct 2013 #9
I think you collard him there pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #11
I squashed that one right away jberryhill Oct 2013 #16
Are you sure you're not being too parsleymonious? pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #22
Are you casting asparagus on my judgment? jberryhill Oct 2013 #26
Of course I yam not pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #29
Hey, get out of the dairy aisle jberryhill Oct 2013 #12
Sorry, leeked into the wrong department there. NuclearDem Oct 2013 #14
Sorrel about that pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #17
Somebody mustard taken a wrong turn pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #15
When making veggie puns, we shallot all times stick to the produce aisle. NuclearDem Oct 2013 #18
And tread gingerly pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #25
Lest we get into a rhubarb over it jberryhill Oct 2013 #28
I think you already made me strain my sacro-celeriac pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #30
He is an unsavory rapscallion jberryhill Oct 2013 #19
This has been quite the caper. NuclearDem Oct 2013 #21
We certainly have some punners a mung us pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #27
You're arugula expert at this pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #23
Not mushroom left now for veggies pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #31
Congrats chervilant Oct 2013 #66
Thanks. I relished the opportunity to share a DUzy with a good bunch. nt pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #67
Peas do, by all beans pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #7
It doesn't 'mater to me, if it's okra with you jberryhill Oct 2013 #10
I'm just Dandelion with it pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #13
"Who would carrot all?" joshcryer Oct 2013 #38
The trick is to try to romaine true to the theme pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #40
This sub thread is 100% WIN. JaneyVee Oct 2013 #50
I think it's radicchio-less! icymist Oct 2013 #61
I'd jump in Aerows Oct 2013 #57
That's a whole udder subject pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #65
Yes. xfundy Oct 2013 #32
I nominate this entire sub-thread for a DUzy! Roland99 Oct 2013 #33
Seconded 1000words Oct 2013 #39
These threads don't turnip nearly as often as I would like n/t eridani Oct 2013 #41
+1. Impressive run of puns. n/t Laelth Oct 2013 #44
Fourth rec for a DUzy.... AngryOldDem Oct 2013 #45
I rec for a Duzy rbrnmw Oct 2013 #46
Holy crap! Epic pun thread above! joshcryer Oct 2013 #37
Best freaking thread Tree-Hugger Oct 2013 #48
So, guys, was it really chard to come up with all these brilliant puns? AngryOldDem Oct 2013 #60
You'd be a maized pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #62
Time to stock up on more brownie mix pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #4
Yep. leeroysphitz Oct 2013 #54
good for Betty Crocker ! :) nt steve2470 Oct 2013 #8
Outstanding! A HERETIC I AM Oct 2013 #20
I know what im buying for my next batch of pot brownies TeamPooka Oct 2013 #24
I dated Betty Crocker back in the day Fumesucker Oct 2013 #34
Perhaps you've forgotten pinboy3niner Oct 2013 #35
I think I'll just go throw out my boxed cakes now. lonestarnot Oct 2013 #55
A corporate message I can get behind. joshcryer Oct 2013 #36
How timely! Le Taz Hot Oct 2013 #42
I wonder... jmowreader Oct 2013 #43
Purely as an informative post... Chan790 Oct 2013 #47
That seems like an awful lot. JoeyT Oct 2013 #49
I got that answer from four different authoritative sites. In addition... Chan790 Oct 2013 #53
I must just suck at handling drugs. JoeyT Oct 2013 #58
Is "lids" still used? enlightenment Oct 2013 #52
I doubt anyone has bought a whole lid of weed for themselves since Reagan was elected jmowreader Oct 2013 #63
Oh, that is a classic! enlightenment Oct 2013 #64
Tuber or not tuber? THAT is the question! (Wish I'd arrived sooner. Some fine punnery up there!) nolabear Oct 2013 #51
Heres to you betty. Keep on spooning! William769 Oct 2013 #56
I have never been so proud of cake Half-Century Man Oct 2013 #59

joshcryer

(62,265 posts)
38. "Who would carrot all?"
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:28 AM
Oct 2013

What the hell, that is glorious!

It is better than my own "omelette you finish" pun (which wasn't original but I thought it up myself).

Genius! This whole subthread has made my night! <3. Amazing!

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
40. The trick is to try to romaine true to the theme
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:42 AM
Oct 2013

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it cos it needs doing.

And I LOVE "omelette you finish"

xfundy

(5,105 posts)
32. Yes.
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 01:54 AM
Oct 2013

I always say "lettuce spray" in an authoritative, smarmy manner in the green aisle, especially when the thunder-sound goes off. I don't care what others think, for the first time in my life.

Get quite a few odd looks for that. Good.

Le Taz Hot

(22,271 posts)
42. How timely!
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 06:25 AM
Oct 2013

This is The Espoused One's birthday weekend and he wants a marble cake. Beautiful families, btw and great pun sub-thread above. You guys are so damned witty.

jmowreader

(50,453 posts)
43. I wonder...
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 07:01 AM
Oct 2013

Will there be a special Betty Crocker Brownie Mix label for the legal-marijuana states that tells you how much weed to add? I can just see it...

"Hey Joe, I'm makin' weed brownies from Betty Crocker mix, how much do I put in?"
'Shit, I dunno...twenty lids?'

...half an hour later...

"Hey Joe, are weed brownies SUPPOSED to be green?"

 

Chan790

(20,176 posts)
47. Purely as an informative post...
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 08:46 AM
Oct 2013

it seems the definitive answer is half an ounce per box of brownie mix, ground in a spice mill or else you'll get gritty bud-chunks in your teeth.

JoeyT

(6,785 posts)
49. That seems like an awful lot.
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:00 AM
Oct 2013

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in not being able to leave brownies alone once I've made them, and lapsing into a coma from marijuana consumption seems like it might suck.

 

Chan790

(20,176 posts)
53. I got that answer from four different authoritative sites. In addition...
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:14 AM
Oct 2013

one recommended using a full oz. and two more recommended not using actual weed but THC-infused butter.

So, that makes 0.5oz the conservative, sane answer.

JoeyT

(6,785 posts)
58. I must just suck at handling drugs.
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 10:45 AM
Oct 2013

My tolerance for almost everything that isn't alcohol is painfully low, (Not that I do anything else anymore) so everything seems like a lot, I guess.

I was thinking a half oz was like a year's worth, based on what little I smoked did to me the few times I smoked it.

jmowreader

(50,453 posts)
63. I doubt anyone has bought a whole lid of weed for themselves since Reagan was elected
Sat Oct 12, 2013, 04:08 PM
Oct 2013

Thanks to Edwin Meese, people buy it by the gram now...in our Just Say No culture, you'd get many years in prison for holding two weeks' worth of pot. In the modern era, an ounce would be charged, at least in Idaho, as possession with intent to distribute...not "possession with intent to not have to shop for weed until next payday."

Funny war story follows: When I was in the 101st Airborne from 1982 to 1984, our ground surveillance radar company had a barracks search (aka "Health and Welfare Inspection.&quot One guy got caught with some marijuana, so he had to be punished. When you're punished by Article 15 of the UCMJ, you have two sessions in front of the commander: one where the Article 15 charge is formally read to you, the second three days later when punishment is handed down. In this kid goes for his first reading..."Private Beetle Bailey, I am considering punishing you under Article 15 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice for possession of two marijuana cigarettes." At this point the kid just goes off, threw away military discipline and started screaming "what the fuck, are you a stupid motherfucker, what the fuck is this..." The commander was a good guy who didn't get mad and finally got the problem out in the open: "Sir, I had a whole lid. That motherfucker stole my dope!" The motherfucker got five years in Leavenworth.

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