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Tue Dec 24, 2013, 05:50 PM

 

To all those alone tonight on Christmas Eve.....

You're not. I and your fellow DU'er's are there with you in Spirit and wish you a very Merry Christmas.

trumad

198 replies, 37162 views

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Reply To all those alone tonight on Christmas Eve..... (Original post)
trumad Dec 2013 OP
boston bean Dec 2013 #1
Hissyspit Dec 2013 #57
boston bean Dec 2013 #59
Tx4obama Dec 2013 #2
trumad Dec 2013 #3
A HERETIC I AM Dec 2013 #4
trumad Dec 2013 #5
Liberal Jesus Freak Dec 2013 #47
A HERETIC I AM Dec 2013 #64
jwirr Dec 2013 #6
freshwest Dec 2013 #23
taterguy Dec 2013 #7
madinmaryland Dec 2013 #28
taterguy Dec 2013 #71
Enthusiast Dec 2013 #121
madinmaryland Dec 2013 #162
anasv Dec 2013 #175
VanillaRhapsody Dec 2013 #8
tavalon Dec 2013 #144
VanillaRhapsody Dec 2013 #145
tavalon Dec 2013 #146
countryjake Dec 2013 #148
tavalon Dec 2013 #150
countryjake Dec 2013 #155
tavalon Dec 2013 #157
countryjake Dec 2013 #158
tavalon Dec 2013 #181
Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #9
Laf.La.Dem. Dec 2013 #10
stillwaiting Dec 2013 #11
Earth_First Dec 2013 #12
Lars39 Dec 2013 #14
JI7 Dec 2013 #15
grasswire Dec 2013 #16
Raine Dec 2013 #18
LineLineLineReply .
Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #169
madfloridian Dec 2013 #19
mimi85 Dec 2013 #41
madfloridian Dec 2013 #51
CrispyQ Dec 2013 #62
madfloridian Dec 2013 #73
SaveOurDemocracy Dec 2013 #70
madfloridian Dec 2013 #128
tavalon Dec 2013 #149
Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #168
Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #167
madfloridian Dec 2013 #174
kdmorris Dec 2013 #88
madfloridian Dec 2013 #125
grantcart Dec 2013 #100
madfloridian Dec 2013 #111
countryjake Dec 2013 #120
madfloridian Dec 2013 #124
countryjake Dec 2013 #133
madfloridian Dec 2013 #161
rhett o rick Dec 2013 #21
Skittles Dec 2013 #24
a la izquierda Dec 2013 #25
magical thyme Dec 2013 #26
madinmaryland Dec 2013 #29
kdmorris Dec 2013 #31
passiveporcupine Dec 2013 #32
Alicia Carol Dec 2013 #35
wryter2000 Dec 2013 #116
orleans Dec 2013 #137
madfloridian Dec 2013 #160
Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #170
calimary Dec 2013 #194
babydollhead Dec 2013 #36
WillyT Dec 2013 #39
Le Taz Hot Dec 2013 #40
uppityperson Dec 2013 #43
doc03 Dec 2013 #44
CrispyQ Dec 2013 #56
Hissyspit Dec 2013 #60
Brigid Dec 2013 #61
Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #66
SaveOurDemocracy Dec 2013 #72
grahamhgreen Dec 2013 #77
liberalmuse Dec 2013 #78
loudsue Dec 2013 #81
virgdem Dec 2013 #82
nolabear Dec 2013 #84
grantcart Dec 2013 #101
ChazInAz Dec 2013 #103
badtoworse Dec 2013 #107
SharonAnn Dec 2013 #109
wryter2000 Dec 2013 #114
countryjake Dec 2013 #119
Enthusiast Dec 2013 #122
lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #126
steve2470 Dec 2013 #130
fizzgig Dec 2013 #138
orleans Dec 2013 #139
Mojorabbit Dec 2013 #171
abq e streeter Dec 2013 #142
tavalon Dec 2013 #147
redwitch Dec 2013 #173
tblue Dec 2013 #191
840high Dec 2013 #198
roody Dec 2013 #13
grasswire Dec 2013 #17
tavalon Dec 2013 #151
Amaril Dec 2013 #186
tavalon Dec 2013 #187
Overseas Dec 2013 #20
rhett o rick Dec 2013 #22
countryjake Dec 2013 #159
rhett o rick Dec 2013 #165
magical thyme Dec 2013 #27
passiveporcupine Dec 2013 #33
Boomerproud Dec 2013 #34
tavalon Dec 2013 #152
magical thyme Dec 2013 #163
tavalon Dec 2013 #180
magical thyme Dec 2013 #182
tavalon Dec 2013 #183
magical thyme Dec 2013 #185
New Orleans Strong Dec 2013 #30
magical thyme Dec 2013 #42
tavalon Dec 2013 #153
New Orleans Strong Dec 2013 #37
rury Dec 2013 #38
loudsue Dec 2013 #85
rury Dec 2013 #134
DiehardLiberal Dec 2013 #172
Dustlawyer Dec 2013 #45
loudsue Dec 2013 #87
Dustlawyer Dec 2013 #177
tavalon Dec 2013 #154
Dustlawyer Dec 2013 #178
doc03 Dec 2013 #46
ybbor Dec 2013 #48
loudsue Dec 2013 #89
longship Dec 2013 #49
loudsue Dec 2013 #90
charlyvi Dec 2013 #50
loudsue Dec 2013 #91
99Forever Dec 2013 #52
3Stones Dec 2013 #53
wryter2000 Dec 2013 #118
calimary Dec 2013 #192
TlcJobCoach Dec 2013 #54
DamnYankeeInHouston Dec 2013 #68
SaveOurDemocracy Dec 2013 #69
loudsue Dec 2013 #92
wryter2000 Dec 2013 #117
blue14u Dec 2013 #127
calimary Dec 2013 #193
CrispyQ Dec 2013 #55
irisblue Dec 2013 #58
loudsue Dec 2013 #93
Puglover Dec 2013 #63
H2O Man Dec 2013 #65
loudsue Dec 2013 #94
Budgies Revenge Dec 2013 #67
loudsue Dec 2013 #95
madinmaryland Dec 2013 #74
Chaco Dundee Dec 2013 #75
Marie Marie Dec 2013 #76
yuiyoshida Dec 2013 #79
loudsue Dec 2013 #96
yuiyoshida Dec 2013 #110
aikoaiko Dec 2013 #80
loudsue Dec 2013 #97
BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #83
loudsue Dec 2013 #98
BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #106
loudsue Dec 2013 #108
BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #112
nolabear Dec 2013 #86
loudsue Dec 2013 #99
grantcart Dec 2013 #102
colorado_ufo Dec 2013 #104
Left Coast2020 Dec 2013 #105
Foolacious Dec 2013 #113
Divine Discontent Dec 2013 #115
countryjake Dec 2013 #123
blue14u Dec 2013 #129
steve2470 Dec 2013 #131
dchill Dec 2013 #132
onestepforward Dec 2013 #135
LineReply ,
blkmusclmachine Dec 2013 #136
ChisolmTrailDem Dec 2013 #140
abq e streeter Dec 2013 #141
tavalon Dec 2013 #143
tavalon Dec 2013 #156
silverchair Dec 2013 #164
DrewFlorida Dec 2013 #166
intaglio Dec 2013 #176
Utopian Leftist Dec 2013 #179
tblue37 Dec 2013 #184
MissDeeds Dec 2013 #188
ColesCountyDem Dec 2013 #189
calimary Dec 2013 #195
ColesCountyDem Dec 2013 #197
Spirochete Dec 2013 #190
NYC_SKP Dec 2013 #196

Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 05:51 PM

1. Men and woman alike! Here, Here!

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Response to boston bean (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:09 PM

57. Hear, hear!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hear,_hear

Hear, hear is an expression used as a short, repeated form of hear him, hear him. It represents a listener's agreement with the point being made by a speaker. In recent usage it has often been misconstrued to be the homophonic phrase here, here, although this is incorrect.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/15/technology/online-diary.html?pagewanted=2&src=pm
The situation is dire for some phrases. On the Web, ''here, here'' outpolls the correct ''hear, hear'' 153,000 to 42,000.


Sorry. I had to do it. I'll go away now.

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Response to Hissyspit (Reply #57)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:10 PM

59. Thanks hissy.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 05:52 PM

2. And see the link below

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Response to Tx4obama (Reply #2)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 05:54 PM

3. Good old Redstone.

 

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:04 PM

4. I'll be driving.

Got a trip through the job uo to Ohio and Western PA - about 40 hours, team operation.

Merry Christmas

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Response to A HERETIC I AM (Reply #4)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:07 PM

5. You to.....

 

safe travels

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Response to A HERETIC I AM (Reply #4)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:35 PM

47. Merry Christmas Heretic!

Be safe & come see us in the new year

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Response to Liberal Jesus Freak (Reply #47)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:21 PM

64. Thanks hon!

Merry Christmas to you as well.

Thanks for the invite. I'd love to stop by again.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:15 PM

6. Thank you. I am alone because my grandson went to his wife's family and they will be home to spend

tomorrow here with our family. But I am always thankful for our DU family and friends. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.

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Response to jwirr (Reply #6)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:46 PM

23. Keep in touch with us today, jwirr! And all the best to you, too. n/t

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:16 PM

7. Thanks

DB

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Response to taterguy (Reply #7)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:54 PM

28. Merry Christmas, taterguy.

Are you by any chance a bass fisherman??

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Response to madinmaryland (Reply #28)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:04 PM

71. No

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Response to madinmaryland (Reply #28)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:40 AM

121. I'm a bass fisherman.

I admit it. Are you are bass fisherman? That would be cool.

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Response to Enthusiast (Reply #121)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 09:24 AM

162. No, I have never gotten the fishing bug. I have been out a couple of times

on the ocean for a day fishing trip, but that is about the extent of my fishing experience.

A woman who I worked 15 or so years ago had a son who was a professional bass fisherman.

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Response to madinmaryland (Reply #162)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 04:23 PM

175. fish 1 fisherman 0

 

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:21 PM

8. Working tonight....

 

from home...but working just the same.

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Response to VanillaRhapsody (Reply #8)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:10 AM

144. Tonight is my only night off in forever on both ends

I'm working mad hours of overtime to pay for my dog's healthcare and my son's Christmas (which he screwed up for himself by finding his packages and opening them - they are re wrapped and I suppose he will learn the lesson that all of us learned as kids. Seeing early takes some of the fun out of the actual day). But even with that, it's quiet in the house with Doggy, Boy and CoMadre asleep and I am happy.

It's weird to feel happy when my dog is dying of cancer, but just for right now, he isn't in pain and the knowing that our time is very limited makes it precious. And wondering how kiddo is going to react tomorrow kind of makes me smile. I've rarely met a person who didn't undertake the gift check sometime in their childhood.

So, I'm kind of alone in being the only one awake late in the night, but really, I'm not. Last Christmas was a different story, so I'm here for anyone who feels lonely. Lonely during this time of year seems to hurt worse.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #144)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:17 AM

145. Thank you....and today has actually been an exceptional day for me here at DU...

 

so it kept me company until I got off at 11pm and beyond. I am leaving in a couple hours to go visit my best friend in SC for a couple days...coming back on Saturday and back to work on Sunday night!

Thank you just for being here tonight...I really appreciate it!

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Response to VanillaRhapsody (Reply #145)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:21 AM

146. You are welcome

There is an unusual niceness virus spreading around DU tonight.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #144)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:31 AM

148. Sorry that your boy ruined his surprises...

but, you're right, it will be a good lesson for him in the morning. I so didn't want for the magic of surprise to end when I was a little kid, I would actually hide the gifts with my name on them, just so that I didn't have to open them. My family always opened presents one at a time, with all eyes on the person being gifted, so the year that I'd stuck all of my presents in and behind the tree, by the time that my parents (and siblings) realized what I'd done, I was the only one left with any gifts. It was a mortifying experience for me and definitely did not turn out the way that I'd hoped...ended up handing over something that I'd really wanted that year, to my sister, just so she could have something else to unwrap.

I'm sad for you that you'll spend this holiday with the realization that you're so close to losing your dear doggie friend. That is so hard. Peace to you and a hug, too.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #148)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:48 AM

150. I know I will be sad and was pretty devastated just a few weeks ago when I found out,

but I'm in a space where he is so precious to me that I'm not feeling the pain right now. He is a constant blessing to me just for now.

I know that come this Friday, he'll be seeing his doctor and we'll be making a decision, but somehow, I am able to just let that go and enjoy the now. Funny, that's how dogs live their whole lives, in the here and now.

Thank you for your empathy. I'll save it for Friday.

My kiddo has severe autism so there is a chance that he relieved his stress and he'll actually enjoy the reopening this morning. Who knows? The silly goose blew his cover by coming to me to ask for batteries! He was so stealthy and then, boom, he outed himself. We told him that we were going to have to send them back to Santa to get wrapped again, so he had to go to bed right away to give Santa enough time. I'm pretty sure the Santa gig is up, but he went to bed, so?

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Response to tavalon (Reply #150)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:16 AM

155. I'll be thinking of the delight you'll have with your son in the morning...

too funny that he wanted some batteries!

I lost my little kittie this summer, while I was back home helping my old mother to die. I was away for eight months, kittie died midway thru that ordeal, and being finally in my own home now, her absence is tearing me apart. I was saying her name today, quietly to myself, without even realizing it til my man pointed it out to me. We both cried over her death, once again, as we ate our supper. We have other cats, but she was the lively spirit in this house. I'll always feel like I let her down by going away for so long.

Sending much strength to you for what your family is facing.

Peace

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Response to countryjake (Reply #155)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:18 AM

157. Oh, that is so sad

I am so sorry about your kitty.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #157)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:33 AM

158. Thank you. I did get to rush back here...

to spend her last three days, holding her and apologizing profusely, begging her not to die. I had to return to my mother's home on the same day that we buried her, so the loss is just all around me now. That kittie just loved presents and boxes and bon bons and ribbon and trees in the house (with homemade cat toys hanging all over them). It'll be awhile before I ever celebrate the season that way, again. She was my joy of the holidays.

As I said before, you have all of my sympathies. It is truly hard to lose a dear furry friend.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #158)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 12:33 PM

181. You have my sympathy too

How very sad.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:26 PM

9. Thank you. My hubby passed last tues and it is

a hard night. I have had lots of invites but just don't have it in me to be around a lot of people.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:30 PM

10. With love!!!

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:34 PM

11. I am so sorry Mojo.

Blessed Be.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:37 PM

12. Hugs

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:41 PM

14. My condolences, Mojorabbit.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:44 PM

15. i'm sorry

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:56 PM

16. oh mojo, so sorry to hear that

be good to yourself.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:58 PM

18. I'm so sorry, I lost mine three years ago. Christmas is still hard even

with the passage of time.

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Response to Raine (Reply #18)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:24 PM

169. .

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:25 PM

19. My best to you. Lost my hubby this year also.

My hubby passed away in the spring. I am getting through the holidays quietly, as that is the only way I can do it.

Last week I accidentally ran across a flag he would put up in place of our FL Gator flag for a few days at Christmas. It was folded up in a drawer. I had forgotten all about it.

It had a picture of the Grinch, and it said in big letters Bah Humbug. It was a large flag, very noticeable.

He used to chuckle when he put it out, and he always took it down before the neighbors got too upset. It was his way of protesting all the ads we were seeing before Thanksgiving. It was tongue in cheek, the neighbors knew it.

It was so hard seeing that flag, one of those things that brings back so much.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hug sent your way.

In fact I am sure it is a group hug.

I will keep that flag as a memory.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #19)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:22 PM

41. Hugs!

I lost my Mom just after Christmas, my wonderful father in law passed away a few days before - a very melancholy time of year for many. I still can hear their voices after all these years. Here's to a better New Year's for all of us.

Be well.

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Response to mimi85 (Reply #41)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:49 PM

51. .....

Hugs back.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #19)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:16 PM

62. Oh, mad, my deepest sympathies.

But I am smiling at the Florida Gator flag & the Grinch.

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Response to CrispyQ (Reply #62)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:05 PM

73. It made me smile also.

But brought some tears.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #19)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:57 PM

70. My condolences, madfloridian. Wishing you well.

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Response to SaveOurDemocracy (Reply #70)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:21 AM

128. Thank you. My heart goes out to Mojo...it's still so fresh.

It never really goes away, but months do ease it a little.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #128)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:34 AM

149. So many people seem to have lost their spouses to death this year.

That I lost mine on Dec 17th of last year really pales in comparison to your situation and Mojos. I just lost mine to a midlife stupidity. I pretty sure, almost positive, in fact, that the fact that he still draws air made my transition much easier. I had anger to pull me through and while anger is a part of the grieving process, it isn't galvanizing in that situation.

As an orphan who has lost many (all) of my blood relatives, I have come to realize, for myself, time does heal. I do hope it's the same for both of you and the others who have lost loved ones. It's too bad that the one time life slows to a crawl, is after a horrible loss. That seems like a flaw in the system.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #149)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:23 PM

168. <3 nt

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #128)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:22 PM

167. Thank you mad. We were together for 31 years.

I am sort of paralyzed inside right now.
I loved your story about the flag. <3

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #167)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 03:40 PM

174. You will be that way for a while.

And you will find your own "flag" stories as time goes on, and it will move you to tears. That's okay. It's healthy.

Take care of yourself.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #19)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:46 PM

88. I'm so sorry for your loss, madfloridian

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Response to kdmorris (Reply #88)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:03 AM

125. .....

Thank you so much. back.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #19)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:20 PM

100. Sorry to hear about your loss.


I am sure that you were a great comfort for him.

Hope that 2014 brings you surprises, some joy and lots of laughter.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #100)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:52 PM

111. There are stages...

Last edited Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:50 AM - Edit history (1)

I am at the stage now where I keep thinking I should have done more, I should have been able to do more. In my heart I know better, but I hear it's a stage in the process of letting go. And I keep thinking I should have pushed the doctors to do more, when in reality they could not fix it.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #19)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:40 AM

120. Peace to you, madfloridian...

so sorry to hear of your loss. That is a precious flag, indeed.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #120)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:55 AM

124. That flag was so like him.

Quirky sense of humor, but not ugly about it. I remember one man who pulled into our driveway, knocked loudly on the door....and told him to take it down. Said he was hurting Christmas. How nervy.

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Response to madfloridian (Reply #124)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:41 AM

133. I had a similar flag find earlier this year...

My daddy had an old US flag (only 48 stars) that he would always hang off of our front porch when I was a kid, for Flag Day and all the other flaggy holidays each year. Years later, once the war in Vietnam rose to a boil, he continued hanging out his precious flag, only he displayed it upside down in protest, and many a time some angry grouser would drive all the way up our lane just to holler about that flag. Folk around our county soon learned not to tangle with my father, a proud WWII vet who was angry and tired of all the bombing, death and dying boys.

He's been dead for eleven years.

My old mother kept up his tradition of flying that distressed flag as long as she was able, but she, too, passed away this summer. As I was preparing to return to my own home, finally in November, I was sifting thru an old wicker clothes hamper that had stood by their back door for more than sixty years, a catch-all, stuffed with warm hats and fuzzy gloves, work gloves, caps, worn out curtains, tattered hot pads and dish towels, mismatched socks, and diapers...the lifetime collection of a couple who always thought that anything, no matter how ragged, might just come in handy someday.

I found their flag in the very bottom of that hamper, neatly tucked away in its own box, wrapped carefully inside with tissue paper. A precious thing.

Your story about your dear husband's Grinch flag reminded me of my own sad discovery. All of my sympathy to you and yours this holiday season...it is never easy.

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Response to countryjake (Reply #133)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 07:41 AM

161. Dealing with things after loss of parents...

so very hard to do. Things like that flag take on special meaning.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:33 PM

21. My best to you. nm

 

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:46 PM

24. someone is always here for you Mojorabbit

yes INDEED

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:48 PM

25. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Peace be with you.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:48 PM

26. I'm so sorry for your loss, mojo...

 

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:55 PM

29. My condolences to you and your family.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:56 PM

31. I am so sorry for your loss, Mojo

{hugs} from Florida. I doubt it helps any after such a devastating loss, but it's yours just the same.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:57 PM

32. I am so sorry.

My cousin's husband will be passing any day now and I can't imagine what it's like going through a holiday season like this...knowing you are about to lose your life's soul mate (or in your case, just have).

Just know that there are many people who understand your pain (even if we really can't quite experience it) and want to wrap our arms around you so you don't feel alone. I can't take away your pain, but I can share it.

May you have a blessed new year with heartwarming experiences to help you fill the void and recover from your loss. My heart goes out to you.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:09 PM

35. The Passing of your Husband

I am in deepest sympathy with you. My husband passed April 10th of this year, and I am still not over this, if I ever will be. He had pancreatic cancer diagnosed in Jan., and was gone in Apr. I am aware of your great grief, but please know that I and others are out here. I don't know if this helps, but others said this to me as well. Carol Bateman

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Response to Alicia Carol (Reply #35)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:06 AM

116. Welcome to DU

Sorry it's on such a sad occasion.

You'll find lots of support here and friends to listen.

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Response to Alicia Carol (Reply #35)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:28 AM

137. i'm very sorry for your loss

and, in case you ever need to talk, we have a bereavement group here (which i didn't know about until...well, until i needed it and went looking for a place to talk/vent/fall apart)
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1234

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Response to Alicia Carol (Reply #35)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 07:39 AM

160. Welcome and kind thoughts your way.

Our family dealt with that kind of cancer 2 years ago. Happened so quickly there was no time to wrap our heads around it. Hugs to you.

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Response to Alicia Carol (Reply #35)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:26 PM

170. Thank you so much

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Response to Alicia Carol (Reply #35)

Mon Dec 30, 2013, 02:41 PM

194. Welcome to DU, Alicia Carol!

So happy you're here! My deepest condolences to you and others in mourning here. We have a good friend who lost his son a week before Christmas. Just a few days ago. Can't get him out of my mind.

Seeing the posts here of people grieving reminds me of the night my mom died seven years ago. It still touches me so greatly to think back on that. It was late. Everybody else had gone to bed. I couldn't sleep. Posted a quick sentence or two, in my numbness. A mere few moments later there came a reply. Then another. Then several more. And soon there were dozens. By the time it tapered off there were a few hundred! It gave me such a sense of comfort and community. I realized I wasn't really alone. I can write about it and describe it and post about it now but I still can't fully or adequately express how much that meant to me, and how much it helped me to get through it. And I really didn't know and hadn't personally met any of the people who posted except for maybe two or three. But it was of such comfort. It's stayed with me ever since then. You do not mourn alone.

Same for you Mojorabbit and madfloridian, and everyone else here who is in mourning. DU is here for you, particularly at times like this, and it will buoy you up.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:10 PM

36. I am sorry for your loss

I wish you peace.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:18 PM

39. (((((((Mojorabbit)))))))

 

My dad passed December 18th, 1975...

Still ain't over it, but... smiles, and great memories, do come easier over time.



Peace...

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:21 PM

40. Wow, mojo!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had no idea. Please accept my condolences.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:26 PM

43. ohh, virtual hug to you. I hope you have a quiet eve, so sorry.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:28 PM

44. Sorry for your loss n/t

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:08 PM

56. Strength to you.

And love.

CQ

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:11 PM

60. Oh, no, mojorabbit.

So very sorry to hear that.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:13 PM

61. Oh, mojo!

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:31 PM

66. I am so sorry.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:04 PM

72. So sorry for your loss.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:16 PM

77. Much love from Hollywood:)

 

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:19 PM

78. Oh BB!

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:34 PM

81. Oh man! I hadn't heard. I'm so sorry Majorabbit. I can understand it would be hard to be around

a happy happy christmas/holiday crowd right now. I was just saying to my best girlfriend today that I don't know how people get by after losing their spouse. My spouse is so much the center of my universe, and we're both getting older....I am just sooooo sorry. I'm sending you a big hug, and my very deepest sympathy.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:40 PM

82. Deepest condolences on your loss.

may you find peace and love throughout the holiday season and beyond!

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:41 PM

84. May you find peace and have good memories.



I'm glad you have this place to keep company.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:21 PM

101. Sorry to hear, I am sure that you were a great comfort for him.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:24 PM

103. Oh, my.

It's been three years since my wife, Patty, was taken on December 5.
The pain fades, but I don't think it ever goes away.
Lots of love to you.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:41 PM

107. My condolences; I am sorry for your loss.

 

Your true friends want to do whatever they can for you. You will all be better off if you give them the opportunity to do that.

I wish you peace going forward.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:45 PM

109. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Yes, I remember the first few months being really rough.

When I was able to socialize, a little, it was only with close friends/family and in small gatherings. Large groups were impossible for me and I even found it hard to be with too many friends at one time.

But you are loved and "it gets better". It really does.

Trust yourself and what you feel you're up to. And always give yourself an escape in case you feel the need to leave. Drive your own car, explain to the host/hostess that you need to leave, and take care of yourself.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:02 AM

114. I'm so sorry

My hubby died 9 years ago on December 29. This time of year seriously sucks for me. Do what you have to do to keep yourself sane. Come back to the people who love you when you can.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:37 AM

119. My deepest sympathies to you, Mojo...

Such sadness to bear at this time of year is too hard for anyone to cope with...sending thoughts of peace and strength for you.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:43 AM

122. Sorry to hear that.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:03 AM

126. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:34 AM

130. My sincerest condolences Mojorabbit nt

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:33 AM

138. i am so sorry



take care of yourself

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:54 AM

139. i've been thinking of you on and off tonight (for the past couple of days actually)

sending you love and so unable to imagine going through what you've been through lately. i hope you are alright.

i want to tell you that you're not alone, he's with you still and so very sorry and has tried to comfort you (and i truly hesitate to say it because i don't want to overstep that line of polite sympathy posting so please forgive me but i feel strongly compelled to tell you that--so strongly that it is important enough for me to overstep that line tonight--again, please forgive me)

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Response to orleans (Reply #139)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:29 PM

171. Thank you.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 03:38 AM

142. I'm so very very sorry.

I wish you much peace and love in the coming days and beyond.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:23 AM

147. I'm glad you are doing what is right for you

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 03:11 PM

173. I am so sorry Mojo!

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Mon Dec 30, 2013, 02:14 AM

191. Just saw this.

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish you a New Year filled with loving kindness and peace within.

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Response to Mojorabbit (Reply #9)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 06:48 PM

198. Hugs to you.

 

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:40 PM

13. Savor your solitude, a precious thing.

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Response to roody (Reply #13)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 06:58 PM

17. yes, for many years of an abusive marriage, I was lonely even though not alone.

There are worse things than being by oneself.

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Response to grasswire (Reply #17)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:52 AM

151. Amen on that one!

My husband wasn't abusive, he just turned out to be a dumbass. Now he's with a major drama queen and after a year alone, I've decided I really, really like it. I've done the marriage and the coupling thing most of my life. I think I want to spend that last 20 or so years of my life unpartnered. I actually quite like it. I know I'm free to change my mind, but just right now, I've no interest.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #151)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 02:18 PM

186. I was that way after my divorce

I wanted no part of emotional entanglements -- my ex - on the other hand - re-married the same day our divorce was final.

That was 12 years ago, and I've enjoyed this period of my life probably the most (the period when my children were small and every day was an adventure full of wonder and magic runs a very close second if not tied for first) -- embraced it with a relish that mystified my friends. It's a difficult mindset to explain to others, and while they meant it with love, their seemingly constant expressions of concern over (what was their perception of) my "loneliness" was really quite maddening at times. Even my ex has made comments -- "I worry about you - you don't have the same support system I have" - yes, that's true, but what you don't understand is that I don't "need" the same constant, unflinching support as you.

Enjoy your "oneness", Tavalon!

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Response to Amaril (Reply #186)

Fri Dec 27, 2013, 11:48 AM

187. Back atchya!

I figure with good health, I can live another 20 or 25 years. I don't have a single urge to waste any of those on coupling. Having friends, sure, but the line stops right there.

My husband left me for another woman and he's itching for the divorce so he can marry his one true love. I was stalling to make sure he did right by our kid, but the disability lawyer we're using for our kiddo is also setting up my will so any money will go in a trust for him and she said I need to go ahead and divorce because community property laws supersede wills. I guess that's the way it should be, but grrr, he better do right by our son or I might just, well, I don't know what I might just but that dummy needs to remember he had a child before he found a childish homewrecker.

Anyway, I feel sorrier for him than he ever could for me. She makes his life a living hell. I get to run my own life and sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's magical and mostly its deliciously solo. I have so many choices and he seems to have none, though that one choice is what is making his life choiceless and from my view, awful. Everyone who knew him before is mortified including his first wife and even his mother.

Nobody has worried about my aloneness yet, they just think it's a stage. And really, how can I counter that? But I know deep in my happily solo heart that I am done with relationships. No regrets, just looking forward to steering my own boat from now on. Delicious!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:28 PM

20. Thank you and happy holidays to you!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:34 PM

22. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone, even Sid. nm

 

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Response to rhett o rick (Reply #22)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:48 AM

159. Now I know there's a "niceness" virus spreading...

as tavalon said upthread, DU has caught something.

Sid. Even Sid?



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Response to countryjake (Reply #159)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 11:30 AM

165. Let's not get maudlin. It's just for the holiday season. We'll see after that.

 

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:53 PM

27. I'm always alone on holidays, but rarely lonely

 

not exactly alone either, come to think of it, with dogs and birds all over the place.

But also with forums like DU, books needing reading, movies needing watching, crossword puzzles needing crossing, assorted items needing mending, and, last but not least, naps needing napping...there is much to be done that can only be done alone.

The ability to find peace and contentment in solitude is great blessing and for that I am thankful. It's also a skill, and like most skills it improves with practice.

So to those who are new to flying solo, you can do this too.

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #27)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:59 PM

33. The internet has turned out to be a solace

for people who might otherwise be alone and feel lonely. I rarely see people, but I don't feel alone. Of course the dogs and cats and goats and chickens do help alot!

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #27)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:08 PM

34. I'm hardly new at flying solo

but I'm used to it. Merry Christmas everyone.

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #27)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:05 AM

152. Naps! I love naps.

I didn't know that until midway through this year, when I broke my shoulder and learned about the healing power of naps. There is much that can only be done alone and I like it.

I'm just past a year solo and while I still have to see the dimwit more than I would care to (shared child) and will be seeing him tomorrow, I can fake being interested in his continued existence for short times, for our son's sake. He left me for a drama queen and I reclaimed solitude. If it were a competition, I won hands down. I don't envy his life with his emotionally abusive spouse and I love my life.

I gave up years of choosing to be alone to marry him. As of now, I'm doing everything to avoid any coupling. I think I want this to be the choice for the rest of my life. Everyone I tell that to, rolls their eyes, as though I could never want to be alone. I want to be alone. Nice to hear from another happily solo person.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #152)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 09:51 AM

163. Gave up on "relationships" 24 years ago and never looked back

 

I don't generally tell anybody that; I'm sure it would generate massive stoopid if I did. It destroys the "natural order of things" in their puny minds.

I occasionally run into men or women who assume that since I'm single, I must be desperate and they attempt to force me into relationships. It turns into harassment and has even turned into office stalking.

And then there are the miserable assholes, male and female, who absolutely cannot stand to see a woman alone and happy and, dog forbid, better off than they are. They do what they can to crap all over everything. Never mind that I didn't piss away my income on TGIF, bar hopping, smokes, cable teevee, satellite, . I don't deserve "it" (whatever "it" is, peace of mind, home of my own, whatever) because I didn't do what I was "supposed" to do (ie, get married and take care of a man).

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #163)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 12:24 PM

180. Yeah, I'm already getting the pushback, but luckily I have a spine of steel

I've no interest in doing the relationship thing anymore. But, as I'm sick of hearing about how I can't know that, I don't generally wave the red flag for the bulls with their bullshit.

I just love hearing from another happily single person. I'm told I'm supposed to be miserable. I'm not miserable. I'm okay, heck, more than okay. And you sound like you are also okay. I'm glad.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #180)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 12:39 PM

182. as far as I can determine, the pushback never ends...

 

After I busted my brain for 3 years, and took on tens of thousands in student loans to get retrained in med lab tech, within 3 months of starting my new job a brain-damaged, alcoholic divorced janitor set his sights on me. I was pushing 60 at the time.

3 of my co-workers encouraged him and tried to solicit personal information from me on his behalf, 2 of them older than I am who should have known better. The 1st actually had the frackin' ovaries to tell him I was going to have coffee with him -- this after I told her I had just lost the love of my life to early onset alzheimers and wanted to be left alone.

I ended up forced to file a sexual harassment complaint against my co-workers just 3 months into the attempt at a new career. It wasn't taken seriously, and he literally stalked me around the hospital for 9 months before finally being fired. Totally destroyed my fresh start.

This was just 10 years after losing my career, mostly to the high tech crash followed by 9/11, but also due to being harassed 24x7 by a junenile, toothless registered sex offender who moved into an adjacent condo, along with his gang of thugs in Massachusetts. After 3 years of nonstop harassment, the police told me I needed to get out of town because they couldn't protect me, so I packed up and left the state.

I can only imagine what pusing 70 will bring. I'm happy being a single woman, but let me tell you it is not easy. For every person who treats me with simple, common decency and respect, there are a half dozen who assume I am an easy mark, or desperate, or what-the-fuck-ever goes on in their pea brains.

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #182)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 12:46 PM

183. Wow, I'm so sorry

Mostly, I live my life under the radar. I had someone ask me out not too long ago and I said no, I'm not interested in dating anyone, but thank you. He wandered away.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #183)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 01:38 PM

185. I need to practice saying "no" in a way that people hear "NO!!!!!"

 

yet without raising my voice. It seems to go in cycles. I'll be ignored for several years, and then some creepy guy, somewhere, will decide I'm perfect for him. They never wander away. Mercifully, the janitor moved away after he was fired. One of his sons got him a job 600+ miles away and said he could come live with him in CT. His family up here won't have anything to do with him.

I give people a graceful out, but they don't take it. They just steamroller right through me. I remember in my 30s a contractor asking me out and I told him I don't get involved with people at work. He didn't wander away. He spent 2-3 months following me around whining, "Why won't you go out with me?" It was creepy and it didn't stop until his contract didn't get renewed.

I keep practicing different ways of saying no. Such as:

"It's a one syllable, 2-letter word. Exactly which part of 'NO' do you not understand?"

or

"This is the 2nd time I'm saying 'No.' It's the last time I'm saying nicely. You ask me a 3rd time, and I'm heading straight to HR with a harassment complaint."

or just "Which the fuck part of 'fuck off' do you not understand?"

or something on those lines. I just need to keep practicing and keeping my anger just below the surface. Because as soon as I slack off, it starts all over.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 07:55 PM

30. Alone, and thankful!

Making Killer! eggnog for tomorrow, and so thankful for DU. And!!!!! People. Please!! MAKE eggnog. Please! Please - Promise to take POISON before buying that crap in a carton. It will make the Jesus of the Gospels HAPPY!!

As a foot soldier in the War on Christmas - Happy Holidays!! And Merry Christmas. You all are amazing - Just amazing. I truly hope that you all have a wonderful holiday, and wish you could be here to try the best eggnog in the South!!!!!

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Response to New Orleans Strong (Reply #30)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:26 PM

42. well with that kind of directive, you need to provide a great recipe

 

or at least a very good one. Or the best in the South one...

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #42)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:12 AM

153. Nawlin's south

could be really, really spicy.

Alas, one of the things my tummy made me give up about 5 years ago is alcohol, so if it has alcohol, I'm out. Every once in a while, usually while in the presence of eggnog, I get it in my head to have some and ouch, ouch, ouch. I can't even tolerate wine anymore.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:11 PM

37. And ghosts are good...

All of the people That I/we lost are here stirring egg yolks. Christmas Eve can't get better than that ...

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:11 PM

38. Thank you!! Solitude and a certain amount of independence are nice...

...but it basically sucks to be single at 62.

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Response to rury (Reply #38)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:43 PM

85. Sending a hug, rury, and I hope that you find a suitable partner in 2014.

Someone that you really really like to be with, who really really likes to be with YOU!

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Response to loudsue (Reply #85)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:02 AM

134. Thanks so much, loudsue!

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Response to rury (Reply #38)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:38 PM

172. Couldn't agree more...

Sucks to be alone and single during the holidays at 65.. especially when EVERYONE these days sends cards with photos of their families, etc.

Hoping for special someones for us both in 2014!!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:32 PM

45. Home alone with the flu, merry Christmas everyone!

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Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #45)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:45 PM

87. Oh no! My husband came down with the flu yesterday, and had to work

yesterday and today....he just went to bed w/ nyquil while I'm up with a nice bottle of Claret and a bunch of great DUers! I hope you get to feeling better real soon, Dustlawyer.

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Response to loudsue (Reply #87)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:53 PM

177. Thanks. I don't know how he went to work, I feel like a train ran over me!

Take some Tamaflu or something so you don't get it!

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Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #45)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:14 AM

154. The flu always sucks

I'm sorry you got tagged.

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Response to tavalon (Reply #154)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:55 PM

178. Thanks. Feeling a little better, I am in between chills and burning up for the moment!

That part is worse than the cough, body ache, and sinus problems combined!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:33 PM

46. Thanks but I like alone. It's nice and quiet no obnoxious

relatives. I can sit around and nap in my jammies in peace and quiet.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:39 PM

48. Merry Christmas to ALL!

God bless all of us! (And this is coming from a Catholic turned agnostic)

Happy Holidays Everyone!

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Response to ybbor (Reply #48)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:47 PM

89. Right back at ya ybbor.

And a happy new year!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:40 PM

49. Thanks Trumad!

I am home alone at Christmas again this year. It's fine. I will be communicating with family via the Intertubes.

Happy Holidays to my big DU family, too.


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Response to longship (Reply #49)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:48 PM

90. Merry Christmas, longship! And happy New Year!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:48 PM

50. Thanks.

Spending Christmas Eve with Barbara Stanwyck -- Christmas in Connecticut

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Response to charlyvi (Reply #50)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:50 PM

91. But are you curled up in your pajamas?

Are you snugg & warm up there in Connecticut? Barbara Stanwyck.... what an actress!

Merry Christmas, Charlyvi.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:51 PM

52. DU at it's very best.

Bless you, Trumad. Merry Christmas to you.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 08:57 PM

53. Been alone a long time

But I have the spirit of the big beautiful trees all around my cabin that give me love. I am never alone!


And the spirit fills the darkness of the heavens. It fills the endless yearning of the soul.
It lives within a star too far to dream of. It lives within each part and is the whole:
it's the fire and the wings that fly us home, fly us home, fly us home. John Denver

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Response to 3Stones (Reply #53)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:14 AM

118. Welcome to DU

There's not much better than the comfort of having trees. I currently have a huge California sycamore in front of my house, but I have a live oak growing in the back that I grew from an acorn from the tree in front of my old house. And I live in a city!

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Response to 3Stones (Reply #53)

Mon Dec 30, 2013, 02:26 PM

192. Welcome to DU, 3Stones!

Glad you're here! I missed this thread on Christmas eve, but I think it was DUer Skittles who commented (in a thread to someone in mourning) that "someone's always here." VERY true. Every one of us here, whether overrun with family and crowded houses or not, has had moments where we felt very much alone or isolated. Many of us found our way to DU early after Selection 2000, when we felt a huge sense of aloneness and isolation and marginalization. And we found many friends and colleagues of like mind - in numbers increasing by the day. It was comforting, reassuring, and empowering.

Glad you're here. DU will buoy you up.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:02 PM

54. That's why I signed up tonight

I am not usually a big social media participant, but tonight...

My husband passed away a few months ago, and kids live away from home.

Tomorrow we will have a family gathering, but tonight... it's just a little bit lonely.

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Response to TlcJobCoach (Reply #54)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:42 PM

68. Welcome to DU.

It's a wonderful place to be.

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Response to TlcJobCoach (Reply #54)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:53 PM

69. Condolences on your loss. Welcome to DU

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Response to TlcJobCoach (Reply #54)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:53 PM

92. I'm sorry for your loss, TicJobCoach.

I'm really sorry. This has to be a difficult Holiday season for you, and I only hope it gets easier with time. I'm sending you a big Holiday Hug, and wishing better and better days for you ahead.

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Response to TlcJobCoach (Reply #54)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:07 AM

117. You came to the right place

It's never dull around here.

Welcome, welcome!

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Response to TlcJobCoach (Reply #54)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:03 AM

127. Welcome to DU TlcJobCoach!!!



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Response to TlcJobCoach (Reply #54)

Mon Dec 30, 2013, 02:30 PM

193. Welcome to DU, TlcJobCoach!

Great to have you with us! My apologies for being late. I'm so amazed and reassured when I note how many people belong here now, compared to when I joined. It's really mushroomed! It's a great place to be because you will always get the sense that somebody IS around, and listening, open to you, and sympathetic. Look how many have responded just on this thread!

Glad you're here, TlcJobCoach! You found your way to a great online hangout - as everybody else here did!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:04 PM

55. Me, 1 dog, 2 cats, husband at work. Same tomorrow.

But that's OK, cuz New Year's is my fave holiday of the season!

Love to all my fellow DUers, even those on ignore. Just kidding.

Love to All.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:10 PM

58. thanks trumad

this year has had many sad changes and losses. Yet, Princess Pretty Paws is hogging the couch and snoring away, Mojo and Majik cats are curled up in a cat ball. Tonight, I am good.
For all of us who have losses...To Life.

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Response to irisblue (Reply #58)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:57 PM

93. I'm sending you and yours many good wishes

for a better year ahead, Irisblue. Our four-legged friends always help with the transitions, don't they? To life.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:20 PM

63. This is a lovely OP.

Thanks Trumad.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:27 PM

65. Thanks, T!

As I noted on another thread, with the same general topic, I'm using the night alone to get some documents for a case done. It involves a labor dispute, and should be filed in February.

I take breaks and check DU, and play with the dogs.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #65)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:59 PM

94. A very Merry Christmas to you, H2O Man!

Where are all your kids? I wish you the very best in the New Year, and great success in your work.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 09:36 PM

67. Merry Christmas!

And thank you

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Response to Budgies Revenge (Reply #67)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:00 PM

95. Merry Christmas, Budgies Revenge!

And the best of everything in the new year!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:07 PM

74. Merry Christmas, tru!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:14 PM

75. that's a noble thought

I just prefere to be alone.it makes a perfect little holliday for me.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:15 PM

76. If you are here - you are not alone.

You are with some of the warmest, kindest and smartest people you will find anywhere. Not to mention, we are all so damn good-looking and we smell wonderful. Can't ask for better company than that. To those who have recently lost a loved one, know that you are very much loved right here. Happy Holidays to all.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:24 PM

79. I am alone but with

Friends on line. I don't usually celebrate xmas myself.. I have no tree, or brightly colored wrapped gifts, or stockings hung on the chimney with care... There is no window that even faces the street, so no wreaths, or any of the cool things that come alone with it..

I do have my little Daruma to keep me COMPANY tonight

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Response to yuiyoshida (Reply #79)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:06 PM

96. Well then, Merry Christmas, yuiyoshida!

It's sometimes nice to have all the Christmas-looking accoutrements...but they really aren't necessary! I hope you have a good New Year!

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Response to loudsue (Reply #96)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:45 PM

110. thanks....

Daruma san promises this will be a lucky year for me, we shall see.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:29 PM

80. I wish you all warmth of spirit, belonging, and fraternity


Peace

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Response to aikoaiko (Reply #80)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:07 PM

97. And peace to you, aikoaiko.

That is really nice.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:40 PM

83. it's just a peaceful night for me. got my little Shrimpy

And going to hang out with my bestie and her wife tomorrow.

Been alone for quite a few years now after an abusive relationship ended. It was very rough recovering from that loss as I don't have any family.

But time and friendships heal, especially if you take kind and gentle care of yourself and work at helping yourself recover.

During holidays I am even more glad that I don't watch teevee! Who needs that blaring artificiality? I think of this time as the Solstice and observe the turning of the seasons.

The light is slowly coming back now, after the longest night of the year. Life is like that too.

My heart goes out to all those grieving. I wish I could take the pain away, truly. Even though grief is a natural part of the cycles of life, it is the hardest thing.

Redstone's post is a wonderful gift.

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #83)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:10 PM

98. And all the best of the Solstice to you,Blanche.

Thank you for all your great posts and pictures! And a really happy New Year to you!

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Response to loudsue (Reply #98)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:34 PM

106. thank you loudsue!! let's look forward to *making* this coming new year a good one

For ourselves and those around us!

Takes practice, though. usually I'm just a rotten old bizatch!!!

Gee thanks so much too--glad you like some of my cosmic debris.


Wish I could post some of my Shrimpy pics!

Have a wonderful season. be cozy!

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Response to BlancheSplanchnik (Reply #106)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:44 PM

108. I think I'm getting really cozy, and my eyelids are getting heavy!

I think I'm going to stroll off to bed here in a minute or two! Mrs. Claus still has to arise & shine and cook a whole bunch tomorrow. (That would be mwa! )

I'm with you about *MAKING* this coming year a good one.... I think this is going to be a really good year! I hope a bunch of the *good* lands on you, too!

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Response to loudsue (Reply #108)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:57 PM

112. thanks Mwa!! you too--may the good causes you made last year come back

to you in the coming year!!



Lol! Bedding down for the night sounds just right.

Hmmm....maybe pretend I'm a comfy warm hibernating bear as I drift off with nice sleepytime music and Shrimpy, my little cub.......

Enjoy your cooking tomorrow! I shall enjoy eating and geeking out on computer games with my geeky gamer friends.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:44 PM

86. Yes, Peace on Earth, Good Will to all People.

Let's take a moment to all look outward together at the possibility of peace, prosperity and kindness.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:13 PM

99. Trumad, you're the best. I'm really glad you started this thread.

I spent many many many years alone, before I got married in my 50's, and I'm here to tell you: It can be really hard being alone sometimes.

You prolly don't know this, but you've been one of my favorite DUers for years & years, and this thread even bumped you up yet ANOTHER notch!

I wish you the very best of the holiday season, well, and just the best in life.

Here's to you!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:23 PM

102. I was begining to wonder if DU had gone down some wormhole of infinite

fratricide, complaining and bickering.


And seeing this thread glad to see that is not the case.


Not alone, mrs grantcart travels with me all of the time and we laugh and giggle like junior high kids most of the time.


Warm wishes for those that are alone.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:25 PM

104. Warm hugs to all!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:31 PM

105. Why don't all DU'er just meet somewhere so we can give each other

...one BIG HUMONGOUS group hug?

We all need it. It has been painfull to say the least. Especially for me.

I hope to have some good news for you, but I'm still in limbo.

And if we all do meet, someone please remember to bring a BIG box of Kleenex.



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Response to trumad (Original post)

Tue Dec 24, 2013, 11:58 PM

113. Thank you, Trumad.

I wish you the same.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:04 AM

115. rec #100, from a single DUer to all those who are single, or are alone tonight

God bless you, good vibes of warmth, and an e-hug!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 12:52 AM

123. Have a good one, trumad!

Tho I am not alone, I'm dealing with a pretty blue season this year, mourning my own personal losses and also, wishing my kid wasn't quite so fond of her snow vacations. We miss her, but the mountains were calling, ha!



Ho, Ho, Ho!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:22 AM

129. How thoughtful trumad...

I thank you for the kind words you share.

This thread is somewhat sad, but we are all here hand in hand
keeping each other company.

Merry Christmas to all!!

Peace be with you.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:35 AM

131. Thanks for this, Trumad, and I wish other DU'ers the same

Very kind of you.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:36 AM

132. Happy Christmas to all,

and to all a good night.

(Clement Clarke Moore)

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:17 AM

135. This is why I love DU

I'm so grateful for my DU family.
Sending love to all

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:27 AM

136. ,

 

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 02:55 AM

140. Merry Chistmas, trumad, and to you all. n/t

 

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 03:36 AM

141. Thanks.Merry Christmas to you trumad.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 05:00 AM

143. That is such a kind thing to say

And true.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 06:17 AM

156. This nightshifter is going to do a few more things for the morning

and then try to get a nap.

Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 11:06 AM

164. Merry Christmas

Thanks for the kind and thoughtful post. I had to stay home this year because of work. Best wishes to everyone at DU. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 01:22 PM

166. Well said Trumad!

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Wed Dec 25, 2013, 04:30 PM

176. All be happy

All be well

All feel loved

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 08:44 AM

179. Not that I feel any great love for Mother Teresa, but...

one of her quotes really speaks to me:

"The greatest disease in the world today is to be nothing to nobody."

When you suffer from depression, ADD and PTSD, you lose a lot of friends and spend a lot of Christmases alone. In a good world, it wouldn't be that way but in this one, disease makes you a social pariah. Especially mental illness, because the ignorant and foolish assume that mental illness is something people choose or a reflection of a bad character.

If you know anyone who is depressed this year, invite them to something and watch their hearts spring to life. It will mean more to them than you can possibly imagine.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Thu Dec 26, 2013, 01:01 PM

184. I watched a DVD of Joss Whedon's version of Shakespeare's

Much Ado about Nothing with a friend on Christmas Eve. Then he left, after about an hour of post-film chat, to spend the rest of the evening with his mother, her new husband, and his three daughters, all of whom my young friend (a 23-year-old former student of mine) likes very much, though he cannot communicate with them about his passion for literature, history, neuroscience, sociology, and ideas in general, because their interests just don't match his.

On Christmas I slept in, read a couple of novels and a bunch of stuff on the net, and played with my 3 cats, who don't get enough attention toward the end of the semester when my workload explodes. I also graded a few finals and essays, since I have a deadline for getting course grades posted for my 4 sections of English 101.

To find time for my cats, my pleasure reading, and my sleeping in, I had to politely decline several sweet invitations from friends who freak out at the thought that anyone should be alone on Christmas. The same thing happened on Thanksgiving.

I usually give in when the pleas become insistent enough. One particularly dear friend, a 37-year-old lawyer, also a former student, has managed to persuade me most years by begging me to get his mother off his back. His family essentially consider me family. He is by far the dearest of all my dear friends--so much so that I consider his 22-month-old son my grandson, even though there is no blood relation, and his wife (whom I also consider a dear friend) my DIL. His parents fully accept my claim to a role as William's extra grandma.

His mother really does badger him about getting me to have Christmas and other major holidays with them. My adult kids live far away. My son, who is in the foreign service, is posted in Turkey. My daughter lives in Texas. I live in Kansas. My friend's family is extremely close-knit, so they cannot imagine not always spending holidays together--as well as having dinner together every Sunday night. I am very close to my own kids, but they both have amazing but demanding careers, so we get together in person when we can, regardless of whether it is a day our society marks for getting together--i.e., a holiday or a birthday.

I am not religious, so religious holidays don't matter to me. I am not sentimental about such socially defined "special" days, either, so to me visiting my friend this weekend is just as good as seeing him on Christmas Day itself.

Other people are sentimental about such holidays, though, so they are deeply troubled to think of someone being alone on such days. I realize that many who are alone would rather not be alone on Christmas. I feel for them and I hope those of you who are aware of such isolates will reach out to include them in your gatherings and celebrations; and your kind wishes are of course generous gestures when that isn't possible.

But not everyone suffers from loneliness when alone on holidays. Some of us enjoy the downtime, the day off from a demanding life. I feel bad for people who worry about my being alone on holidays. Although I am rather introverted, both of my kids are extraverts, so they are bothered at the thought that I might be alone on a holiday. They know I receive several invitations and they always beg me to accept one. Usually I do, just to calm them and to ease the distress of the friends who invite me. But sometimes, like this year for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I just need to be alone with my cats and my books.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Fri Dec 27, 2013, 05:59 PM

188. Thank you, trumad

 

I just saw this - a few days late. My dear husband and I have no children, and much of our family has "passed on". We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas alone, just the two of us. It's hard, especially for me as I have rich memories of Christmases past with my beloved grandmother, her sisters, my mom, brother, aunts and cousins. It hurts, being nearly alone, just us two. We do decorate the tree, and share gifts with each other, but there is a void, and a longing for family lost and family that has drifted away. I try each year to make the holiday season special and happy for him, but it's hard. Christmas is a time for gathering loved ones near...for those of us who have no family, the holidays can be especially painful, and the loneliness difficult to bear. Thanks for your kind message, trumad. Best to you and yours in the new year.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Sat Dec 28, 2013, 07:20 PM

189. Thank you! My aunt passed Saturday, and this was my first Christmas where I was truly alone.

We were the last two left, and knowing that someone cares helped a lot.

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Response to ColesCountyDem (Reply #189)

Mon Dec 30, 2013, 02:46 PM

195. Much love to you, too, ColesCountyDem.

You do not mourn alone. You're here, and it's a good place to be in fair weather AND foul. MANY big shoulders to lean on here within DU, and everybody here has needed them at one time or other.

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Response to calimary (Reply #195)

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 05:48 AM

197. Thank you!

We're having her funeral at 10:00 this morning. Thanks to the wonderful people at our church, I'm able to give her a decent funeral, something neither Aunt Norma nor I could afford. It will be hard to say 'good bye', but because of the kindness of people both here at DU and at our church, it will be a little less hard.

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Sat Dec 28, 2013, 09:28 PM

190. I thought i was going to be alone on Christmas eve

but I ended up in the company of a million nurses, torturing me with sharp objects and endless questions. Alone would have been better...

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Response to trumad (Original post)

Mon Dec 30, 2013, 05:19 PM

196. We need you for New Years Eve, too, trumad.

 

And there's Valentine's day coming up!

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