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http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/15/technology/online-diary.html?pagewanted=2&src=pm
Sorry. I had to do it. I'll go away now.
Be safe & come see us in the new year 
I'm working mad hours of overtime to pay for my dog's healthcare and my son's Christmas (which he screwed up for himself by finding his packages and opening them - they are re wrapped and I suppose he will learn the lesson that all of us learned as kids. Seeing early takes some of the fun out of the actual day). But even with that, it's quiet in the house with Doggy, Boy and CoMadre asleep and I am happy.
It's weird to feel happy when my dog is dying of cancer, but just for right now, he isn't in pain and the knowing that our time is very limited makes it precious. And wondering how kiddo is going to react tomorrow kind of makes me smile. I've rarely met a person who didn't undertake the gift check sometime in their childhood.
So, I'm kind of alone in being the only one awake late in the night, but really, I'm not. Last Christmas was a different story, so I'm here for anyone who feels lonely. Lonely during this time of year seems to hurt worse.
but, you're right, it will be a good lesson for him in the morning. I so didn't want for the magic of surprise to end when I was a little kid, I would actually hide the gifts with my name on them, just so that I didn't have to open them. My family always opened presents one at a time, with all eyes on the person being gifted, so the year that I'd stuck all of my presents in and behind the tree, by the time that my parents (and siblings) realized what I'd done, I was the only one left with any gifts. It was a mortifying experience for me and definitely did not turn out the way that I'd hoped...ended up handing over something that I'd really wanted that year, to my sister, just so she could have something else to unwrap.
I'm sad for you that you'll spend this holiday with the realization that you're so close to losing your dear doggie friend. That is so hard. Peace to you and a hug, too.
with the passage of time.
My hubby passed away in the spring. I am getting through the holidays quietly, as that is the only way I can do it.
Last week I accidentally ran across a flag he would put up in place of our FL Gator flag for a few days at Christmas. It was folded up in a drawer. I had forgotten all about it.
It had a picture of the Grinch, and it said in big letters Bah Humbug. It was a large flag, very noticeable.
He used to chuckle when he put it out, and he always took it down before the neighbors got too upset. It was his way of protesting all the ads we were seeing before Thanksgiving. It was tongue in cheek, the neighbors knew it.
It was so hard seeing that flag, one of those things that brings back so much.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hug sent your way.
In fact I am sure it is a group hug. 
I will keep that flag as a memory.
I lost my Mom just after Christmas, my wonderful father in law passed away a few days before - a very melancholy time of year for many. I still can hear their voices after all these years. Here's to a better New Year's for all of us.
Be well.
Hugs back.
But I am smiling at the Florida Gator flag & the Grinch.
But brought some tears.
Thank you so much. back.
so sorry to hear of your loss. That is a precious flag, indeed.
My daddy had an old US flag (only 48 stars) that he would always hang off of our front porch when I was a kid, for Flag Day and all the other flaggy holidays each year. Years later, once the war in Vietnam rose to a boil, he continued hanging out his precious flag, only he displayed it upside down in protest, and many a time some angry grouser would drive all the way up our lane just to holler about that flag. Folk around our county soon learned not to tangle with my father, a proud WWII vet who was angry and tired of all the bombing, death and dying boys.
He's been dead for eleven years.
My old mother kept up his tradition of flying that distressed flag as long as she was able, but she, too, passed away this summer. As I was preparing to return to my own home, finally in November, I was sifting thru an old wicker clothes hamper that had stood by their back door for more than sixty years, a catch-all, stuffed with warm hats and fuzzy gloves, work gloves, caps, worn out curtains, tattered hot pads and dish towels, mismatched socks, and diapers...the lifetime collection of a couple who always thought that anything, no matter how ragged, might just come in handy someday.
I found their flag in the very bottom of that hamper, neatly tucked away in its own box, wrapped carefully inside with tissue paper. A precious thing.
Your story about your dear husband's Grinch flag reminded me of my own sad discovery. All of my sympathy to you and yours this holiday season...it is never easy.
Our family dealt with that kind of cancer 2 years ago. Happened so quickly there was no time to wrap our heads around it. Hugs to you.
So happy you're here! My deepest condolences to you and others in mourning here. We have a good friend who lost his son a week before Christmas. Just a few days ago. Can't get him out of my mind.
Seeing the posts here of people grieving reminds me of the night my mom died seven years ago. It still touches me so greatly to think back on that. It was late. Everybody else had gone to bed. I couldn't sleep. Posted a quick sentence or two, in my numbness. A mere few moments later there came a reply. Then another. Then several more. And soon there were dozens. By the time it tapered off there were a few hundred! It gave me such a sense of comfort and community. I realized I wasn't really alone. I can write about it and describe it and post about it now but I still can't fully or adequately express how much that meant to me, and how much it helped me to get through it. And I really didn't know and hadn't personally met any of the people who posted except for maybe two or three. But it was of such comfort. It's stayed with me ever since then. You do not mourn alone.
Same for you Mojorabbit and madfloridian, and everyone else here who is in mourning. DU is here for you, particularly at times like this, and it will buoy you up.
My dad passed December 18th, 1975...
Still ain't over it, but... smiles, and great memories, do come easier over time.
Peace...
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had no idea. Please accept my condolences.
a happy happy christmas/holiday crowd right now. I was just saying to my best girlfriend today that I don't know how people get by after losing their spouse. My spouse is so much the center of my universe, and we're both getting older....I am just sooooo sorry. I'm sending you a big hug, and my very deepest sympathy.
I'm glad you have this place to keep company.
My hubby died 9 years ago on December 29. This time of year seriously sucks for me. Do what you have to do to keep yourself sane. Come back to the people who love you when you can.
Such sadness to bear at this time of year is too hard for anyone to cope with...sending thoughts of peace and strength for you.
take care of yourself
sending you love and so unable to imagine going through what you've been through lately. i hope you are alright.
i want to tell you that you're not alone, he's with you still and so very sorry and has tried to comfort you (and i truly hesitate to say it because i don't want to overstep that line of polite sympathy posting so please forgive me but i feel strongly compelled to tell you that--so strongly that it is important enough for me to overstep that line tonight--again, please forgive me)
I'm so sorry, sweetie. I wish you a New Year filled with loving kindness and peace within.
I wanted no part of emotional entanglements -- my ex - on the other hand - re-married the same day our divorce was final.
That was 12 years ago, and I've enjoyed this period of my life probably the most (the period when my children were small and every day was an adventure full of wonder and magic runs a very close second if not tied for first) -- embraced it with a relish that mystified my friends. It's a difficult mindset to explain to others, and while they meant it with love, their seemingly constant expressions of concern over (what was their perception of) my "loneliness" was really quite maddening at times. Even my ex has made comments -- "I worry about you - you don't have the same support system I have" - yes, that's true, but what you don't understand is that I don't "need" the same constant, unflinching support as you. 
Enjoy your "oneness", Tavalon!
as tavalon said upthread, DU has caught something.
Sid. Even Sid?
not exactly alone either, come to think of it, with dogs and birds all over the place.
But also with forums like DU, books needing reading, movies needing watching, crossword puzzles needing crossing, assorted items needing mending, and, last but not least, naps needing napping...there is much to be done that can only be done alone.
The ability to find peace and contentment in solitude is great blessing and for that I am thankful. It's also a skill, and like most skills it improves with practice.
So to those who are new to flying solo, 
you can do this too. 
for people who might otherwise be alone and feel lonely. I rarely see people, but I don't feel alone. Of course the dogs and cats and goats and chickens do help alot! 
After I busted my brain for 3 years, and took on tens of thousands in student loans to get retrained in med lab tech, within 3 months of starting my new job a brain-damaged, alcoholic divorced janitor set his sights on me. I was pushing 60 at the time.
3 of my co-workers encouraged him and tried to solicit personal information from me on his behalf, 2 of them older than I am who should have known better. The 1st actually had the frackin' ovaries to tell him I was going to have coffee with him -- this after I told her I had just lost the love of my life to early onset alzheimers and wanted to be left alone. 
I ended up forced to file a sexual harassment complaint against my co-workers just 3 months into the attempt at a new career. It wasn't taken seriously, and he literally stalked me around the hospital for 9 months before finally being fired. Totally destroyed my fresh start.
This was just 10 years after losing my career, mostly to the high tech crash followed by 9/11, but also due to being harassed 24x7 by a junenile, toothless registered sex offender who moved into an adjacent condo, along with his gang of thugs in Massachusetts. After 3 years of nonstop harassment, the police told me I needed to get out of town because they couldn't protect me, so I packed up and left the state.
I can only imagine what pusing 70 will bring. 
I'm happy being a single woman, but let me tell you it is not easy. For every person who treats me with simple, common decency and respect, there are a half dozen who assume I am an easy mark, or desperate, or what-the-fuck-ever goes on in their pea brains. 
yet without raising my voice. It seems to go in cycles. I'll be ignored for several years, and then some creepy guy, somewhere, will decide I'm perfect for him. They never wander away. Mercifully, the janitor moved away after he was fired. One of his sons got him a job 600+ miles away and said he could come live with him in CT. His family up here won't have anything to do with him.
I give people a graceful out, but they don't take it. They just steamroller right through me. I remember in my 30s a contractor asking me out and I told him I don't get involved with people at work. He didn't wander away. He spent 2-3 months following me around whining, "Why won't you go out with me?" It was creepy and it didn't stop until his contract didn't get renewed.
I keep practicing different ways of saying no. Such as:
"It's a one syllable, 2-letter word. Exactly which part of 'NO' do you not understand?"
or
"This is the 2nd time I'm saying 'No.' It's the last time I'm saying nicely. You ask me a 3rd time, and I'm heading straight to HR with a harassment complaint."
or just "Which the fuck part of 'fuck off' do you not understand?"
or something on those lines. I just need to keep practicing and keeping my anger just below the surface. Because as soon as I slack off, it starts all over.
or at least a very good one. Or the best in the South one... 
Someone that you really really like to be with, who really really likes to be with YOU!
yesterday and today....he just went to bed w/ nyquil while I'm up with a nice bottle of Claret and a bunch of great DUers! I hope you get to feeling better real soon, Dustlawyer.
And a happy new year! 
I am home alone at Christmas again this year. It's fine. I will be communicating with family via the Intertubes.
Happy Holidays to my big DU family, too.
I am not usually a big social media participant, but tonight...
My husband passed away a few months ago, and kids live away from home.
Tomorrow we will have a family gathering, but tonight... it's just a little bit lonely.
I'm really sorry. This has to be a difficult Holiday season for you, and I only hope it gets easier with time. I'm sending you a big Holiday Hug, and wishing better and better days for you ahead.
But that's OK, cuz New Year's is my fave holiday of the season!
Love to all my fellow DUers, even those on ignore. Just kidding.
Love to All.
for a better year ahead, Irisblue. Our four-legged friends always help with the transitions, don't they? To life. 
Where are all your kids? I wish you the very best in the New Year, and great success in your work.
And thank you
And the best of everything in the new year!
Friends on line. I don't usually celebrate xmas myself.. I have no tree, or brightly colored wrapped gifts, or stockings hung on the chimney with care... There is no window that even faces the street, so no wreaths, or any of the cool things that come alone with it..
I do have my little Daruma to keep me COMPANY tonight
It's sometimes nice to have all the Christmas-looking accoutrements...but they really aren't necessary! I hope you have a good New Year!
That is really nice.
And going to hang out with my bestie and her wife tomorrow.
Been alone for quite a few years now after an abusive relationship ended. It was very rough recovering from that loss as I don't have any family.
But time and friendships heal, especially if you take kind and gentle care of yourself and work at helping yourself recover.
During holidays I am even more glad that I don't watch teevee! Who needs that blaring artificiality? I think of this time as the Solstice and observe the turning of the seasons.
The light is slowly coming back now, after the longest night of the year. Life is like that too.
My heart goes out to all those grieving. I wish I could take the pain away, truly. Even though grief is a natural part of the cycles of life, it is the hardest thing.
Redstone's post is a wonderful gift.
Thank you for all your great posts and pictures! And a really happy New Year to you!
For ourselves and those around us!
Takes practice, though. usually I'm just a rotten old bizatch!!! 
Gee thanks so much too--glad you like some of my cosmic debris.
Wish I could post some of my Shrimpy pics!
Have a wonderful season. be cozy!
I think I'm going to stroll off to bed here in a minute or two! Mrs. Claus still has to arise & shine and cook a whole bunch tomorrow. (That would be mwa! )
I'm with you about *MAKING* this coming year a good one.... I think this is going to be a really good year! I hope a bunch of the *good* lands on you, too!
to you in the coming year!!
Lol! Bedding down for the night sounds just right.
Hmmm....maybe pretend I'm a comfy warm hibernating bear as I drift off with nice sleepytime music and Shrimpy, my little cub.......
Enjoy your cooking tomorrow! I shall enjoy eating and geeking out on computer games with my geeky gamer friends.
I spent many many many years alone, before I got married in my 50's, and I'm here to tell you: It can be really hard being alone sometimes.
You prolly don't know this, but you've been one of my favorite DUers for years & years, and this thread even bumped you up yet ANOTHER notch!
I wish you the very best of the holiday season, well, and just the best in life.
Here's to you!
...one BIG HUMONGOUS group hug?
We all need it. It has been painfull to say the least. Especially for me.
I hope to have some good news for you, but I'm still in limbo.
And if we all do meet, someone please remember to bring a BIG box of Kleenex.
I wish you the same.
Tho I am not alone, I'm dealing with a pretty blue season this year, mourning my own personal losses and also, wishing my kid wasn't quite so fond of her snow vacations. We miss her, but the mountains were calling, ha!
Ho, Ho, Ho!
I thank you for the kind words you share.
This thread is somewhat sad, but we are all here hand in hand
keeping each other company.
Merry Christmas to all!!
Peace be with you.
I'm so grateful for my DU family.
Sending love to all
and then try to get a nap.
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!
We were the last two left, and knowing that someone cares helped a lot.
You do not mourn alone. You're here, and it's a good place to be in fair weather AND foul. MANY big shoulders to lean on here within DU, and everybody here has needed them at one time or other.
We're having her funeral at 10:00 this morning. Thanks to the wonderful people at our church, I'm able to give her a decent funeral, something neither Aunt Norma nor I could afford. It will be hard to say 'good bye', but because of the kindness of people both here at DU and at our church, it will be a little less hard.
And there's Valentine's day coming up!
