Fuck Woo! (A woo spoof)

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Last edited Mon Jan 6, 2014, 04:06 AM - Edit history (1)

[DeSwiss]

1. ....

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2. To woo or not to woo

that is the question—
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous woo,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of woo,
And by opposing end them? To die, to woo—
No more; and by a woo, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural woos
That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wooed. To die, to ,
To sleep, perchance to woo; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that woo of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal woo,
Must give us pause. There's the woo
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of woo,
The Oppressor's woo, the proud man's woo,
The pangs of despised woo, the Law’s woo,
The insolence of woo, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy woo,
When he himself might his Quietus make
woo a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels woo,
To grunt and sweat under a weary woo,
But that the dread of woo after death,
The undiscovered woo, from whose bourn
No Traveler woos, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those woos we have,
Than fly to others that we woo not of.
Thus Conscience does make woos of us all,
And thus the Native woo of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of woo,
And enterprises of great woo and moment,
With this regard their Currents turn wooy,
And lose the name of Action. Woo you now,
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my woos remembered.

[DeSwiss]

3. ;-)

Polonius:
My liege, and madam, to woo
What majesty should be, what duty woo,
What day is day, night night, and woo is woo,
Were nothing but to waste night, day, and woo;
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of woo,
And tediousness the limbs and outward woo,
I will be brief. Your noble son is woo. . . .

{Abridged} Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, 86–92

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4. I always thought Sir Laurence Olivier was the best wooer

[Skittles]

5. STOP IT YOU TWO

YER KILLING ME

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8. "De woo woo woo, De Da Da Da"

Don't think me unkind
Words are hard to find
The only cheques I've left unsigned
From the banks of chaos in my mind
And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me

De woo woo woo, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De woo woo woo, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De woo woo woo, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De woo woo woo, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true

Poets, priests and poiticians
Have words to thank for their positions
Words that scream for your submission
And no one's jamming their transmission
'Cos when their eloquence escapes you
Their logic ties you up and rapes you

De woo woo woo, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De woo woo woo, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De woo woo woo, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
Dewoo woo woo, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true

(De woo woo woo, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De woo woo woo, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De woo woo woo, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De woo woo woo, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true)

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6. We have nothing to woo but woo itself

[Art_from_Ark]

7. Oh woo is me!

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9. Am I woo

Am I Woo am I woo ain't these tears in these eyes tellin' you
Am I woo you'd be too if each plan that you had done and fell through
There was a time I was your only one now I'm sad and lonely one I'm such lonely one
Was I gay till today now you're gone and we're through am I woo

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10. ...

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11. Woo me with science

Star Member MannyGoldstein Here's why *real* medicine is different than woo:

In *real* medicine, roughly 10% of what's done is based on evidence. 10%. That's it. 90% is based on... guesses? Happy thoughts? How much money some constituency can make off of it?

For woo... hard to tell how much is evidence based. Lots of woo things are actually evidence-based, but they're considered "woo" because neither docs, hospitals, nor drug companies can make a buck off of them. Nobody's made a study of it, to my knowledge, but the percentage of evidence-based woo's probably no worse than the percentage in "real" medicine. Can't be much worse. My personal woo habits are probably a lot more evidence-based than typical "real" medicine practiced by the vast bulk of doctors - Pubmed is my friend.

Now let's look at the other side of the coin - damage.

According to the FDA, Vioxx alone probably killed between 40,000 and 60,000 people. That's what, between 13 and 20 September 11th attacks? It's somewhat of a different thing, but still... it's tens of thousands of dead people. And Vioxx was approved by the FDA after big serious studies by big serious doctors at big serious hospitals. Turns out that the research sucked. Oh well.

Here's the kicker: there was zero evidence that Vioxx was safer or more effective than ibuprofen (which it was supposed to replace) during the time it was killing lots of people. Zero. But it made a lot of money for a lot of people, so there's that, I guess. If those now-corpses had taken ibuprofen instead of Vioxx, they would have gotten better pain relief. But Ibuprofen isn't a big earner these days. Sorry folks!


http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024285108

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12. The term "woo" is a sort of derisive name-calling labeling, cthulu2016 nails it

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024281589#post27

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13. Woo are you ?

woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away"

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair

[chorus:]
Well, woo are you? woo are you? Woo,woo woo, woo?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Woo,woo woo, woo?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Woo,woo woo, woo?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Woo,woo woo, woo?)

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the Rollin' Pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there's got to be another way

Woo are you?
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ...

woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
woo are you?
woo,woo woo, woo?
[chorus]

I know there's a place you walked
Where love falls from the trees
My heart is like a broken cup
I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole
Yet still recieve your kiss
How can I measure up to anyone now
After such a love as this?

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14. woo woo