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Fri Jan 10, 2014, 01:59 PM

I used to be fat

Last edited Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:33 PM - Edit history (1)

And when I say fat, I mean super-morbidly obese.

9 1/2 years ago, I tipped the scales at 278 lbs. At 5'1" this gave me a BMI of 52.5 (a normal BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9, for people who are not solid muscle).

I cannot tell you how segregated I felt from the rest of the world. I had to shop in special stores. At Red Sox games I had to sit in the handicapped section because I couldn't fit in the regular seats. No one ever asked me out. No one wanted to sit next to me on an airplane. I took a trip to Busch Gardens/Tampa and couldn't fit into the rides. (I remember walking around the park and having a little girl point at me and say to her mother, "Look how fat she is, Mommy!"

It was awful.

I've seen a few posts to the effect that some of us just "need to get a sense of humor" about ourselves. Let me tell you--there's nothing funny about it.

I can remember how hard it was to stand at the stove and cook dinner, how hard it was to stand at the sink and do dishes; my back, knees and feet wanting to give up on me. Just bending over a few times to make the bed would put me out of breath.

I once told my doctor that I could lose weight if I were not so lazy. She yelled at me. She told me that there's nothing lazy about a person who is carrying around an extra 150 lbs. of weight every day. She told me that I was probably burning calories equal to a normal-sized person who did a workout every day.

I took steps to treat my obesity, and lost almost all of those 150 lbs. Even so, there is still a part of my mind that will always make me think I'm "fat." I have friends that call me "tiny," and you'd think that I could embrace that term, but I can't. Maybe it's because I just don't like being labeled for my size.

Obesity is not always about someone who has no self-control. More often than not there are physiological, mental, and emotional elements to the disease.

And it IS a disease.

We wouldn't crack jokes about people with arthritis, asthma, diabetes, ulcerative colitis, etc.

We shouldn't crack jokes about people with obesity.

Chris Christie has actually taken steps to treat his obesity, but even if he hadn't, his weight should never be the reason we poke fun at him.

Besides, he gives us plenty of other reasons anyway.

Thank you for letting me vent.

116 replies, 12109 views

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Reply I used to be fat (Original post)
MissMillie Jan 2014 OP
QC Jan 2014 #1
phasma ex machina Jan 2014 #60
Mike Nelson Jan 2014 #2
PassingFair Jan 2014 #3
mahina Jan 2014 #4
MissMillie Jan 2014 #5
Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #11
MissMillie Jan 2014 #13
classykaren Jan 2014 #77
auntAgonist Jan 2014 #86
beaglelover Jan 2014 #107
Catherine Vincent Jan 2014 #6
BlueState Jan 2014 #7
regnaD kciN Jan 2014 #72
BlueMTexpat Jan 2014 #79
BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #96
redqueen Jan 2014 #8
Live and Learn Jan 2014 #9
Le Taz Hot Jan 2014 #10
HockeyMom Jan 2014 #12
Douglas Carpenter Jan 2014 #14
Marrah_G Jan 2014 #15
Dorian Gray Jan 2014 #16
chervilant Jan 2014 #17
classykaren Jan 2014 #78
catrose Jan 2014 #90
CaliforniaPeggy Jan 2014 #18
AAO Jan 2014 #19
angstlessk Jan 2014 #20
Tuesday Afternoon Jan 2014 #21
wryter2000 Jan 2014 #22
roguevalley Jan 2014 #23
Demo_Chris Jan 2014 #24
Beaverhausen Jan 2014 #25
MissMillie Jan 2014 #26
Barack_America Jan 2014 #27
MissMillie Jan 2014 #30
klook Jan 2014 #28
Sienna86 Jan 2014 #29
FatBuddy Jan 2014 #31
MissMillie Jan 2014 #33
FatBuddy Jan 2014 #37
pipi_k Jan 2014 #82
FatBuddy Jan 2014 #84
closeupready Jan 2014 #32
Shrike47 Jan 2014 #34
tom_kelly Jan 2014 #35
KamaAina Jan 2014 #36
Grateful for Hope Jan 2014 #88
Matariki Jan 2014 #38
KitSileya Jan 2014 #39
laundry_queen Jan 2014 #44
nolabear Jan 2014 #40
PasadenaTrudy Jan 2014 #41
ChiciB1 Jan 2014 #42
laundry_queen Jan 2014 #43
Grateful for Hope Jan 2014 #91
laundry_queen Jan 2014 #98
Grateful for Hope Jan 2014 #99
laundry_queen Jan 2014 #101
Grateful for Hope Jan 2014 #102
Grateful for Hope Jan 2014 #108
arthritisR_US Jan 2014 #45
Liberal_in_LA Jan 2014 #46
NCTraveler Jan 2014 #47
Skittles Jan 2014 #48
Spitfire of ATJ Jan 2014 #49
noamnety Jan 2014 #50
nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #110
annabanana Jan 2014 #51
TBF Jan 2014 #52
awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #53
arcane1 Jan 2014 #54
KentuckyWoman Jan 2014 #55
mokawanis Jan 2014 #56
nadinbrzezinski Jan 2014 #57
HipChick Jan 2014 #58
Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #59
nadinbrzezinski Jan 2014 #61
Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #62
nadinbrzezinski Jan 2014 #65
BuddhaGirl Jan 2014 #95
La Lioness Priyanka Jan 2014 #64
Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #66
wickerwoman Jan 2014 #73
nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #111
Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #112
nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #113
Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #114
nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #115
BainsBane Jan 2014 #63
DeSwiss Jan 2014 #67
NYC_SKP Jan 2014 #68
Silent3 Jan 2014 #69
liberal_at_heart Jan 2014 #70
merrily Jan 2014 #71
a la izquierda Jan 2014 #74
Post removed Jan 2014 #75
1StrongBlackMan Jan 2014 #76
cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #80
Android3.14 Jan 2014 #81
auntAgonist Jan 2014 #89
Android3.14 Jan 2014 #100
Grateful for Hope Jan 2014 #83
MillennialDem Jan 2014 #85
TexasBushwhacker Jan 2014 #94
MillennialDem Jan 2014 #97
auntAgonist Jan 2014 #87
B Calm Jan 2014 #92
packman Jan 2014 #93
Warpy Jan 2014 #103
Jamaal510 Jan 2014 #104
liberal_at_heart Jan 2014 #105
nadinbrzezinski Jan 2014 #109
Name removed Jan 2014 #106
burfman Feb 2014 #116

Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:08 PM

1. Thank you for this post.

Being fat has caused me to get more personal ugliness from the world than being gay or poor ever did.

I could not believe the difference in how the world treated me when I finally did get manage to lose about 80 pounds. No more stage-whispered remarks about my weight ("We better get to the buffet before he does!", no more ugly looks from strangers, no more of the rest. People treated me with more respect. They were friendlier to me. It was night and day.

The fat jokes around here are sickening, but hey, welcome to the brave new world of "community standards," where pretty much anything one might find in a Youtube comments thread or on a Yahoo message board is now appropriate for DU. At least we're not quite down to the level of 4chan yet.

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Response to QC (Reply #1)


Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:09 PM

2. A good reminder...

..thank you and stay healthy!

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:15 PM

3. We should never be defined by what we weigh.

I can't stand it when people are discriminated against or made fun of
because of weight.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:18 PM

4. great post.

How did you lose it?

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Response to mahina (Reply #4)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:20 PM

5. surgery

I had gastric bypass surgery in September of 2004.

I suffer side-effects, and will probably have to eat 5 lbs of vitamin/mineral supplements every day for the rest of my life.

But I don't hurt anymore.

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Response to MissMillie (Reply #5)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:03 PM

11. Thank you for mentioning the potential side effects of gastric bypass

and the need to take supplements. It's also not an appropriate surgery for all obese people.
While it's been a lifesaver for many it's not an easy fix for "lazy" people who won't just diet away the weight (claims I've seen here and IRL.)

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Response to Gormy Cuss (Reply #11)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:05 PM

13. an ethical bariatric surgery program

won't just cut into anyone.

There are psychiatric evaluations, nutritional consultations and classes, and often a requirement to lose atleast a few lbs. before surgery would be scheduled.

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Response to MissMillie (Reply #13)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 08:33 AM

77. They will not operate on anyone over 63

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Response to classykaren (Reply #77)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:24 PM

86. That's not true. I have an acquaintance who was 66 at the time of her surgery and she did very well

It's not for everyone. But it is a great tool.

aA

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Response to MissMillie (Reply #5)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 10:01 PM

107. Just curious....cause I know next to nothing about gastric bypass surgery

Are you kidding or do you really have to take 5 lbs of vitamins/supplements per day?

And congrats on losing the weight!

Last year our small department needed to hire a new analyst. We came down to 2 finalists and one was a very pretty girl who was overweight, but she had lost 100 lbs in the last year or so through exercise and diet. Once I heard that she was definitely the one I wanted to hire due to her self discipline and motivation. We did end up hiring her and she has worked out very well. She works hard to continue to lose since she's getting married this summer.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:26 PM

6. Thank you.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:30 PM

7. Thank you for posting

I am embarrassed to admit it but I will have to plead guilty as charged.

After reading your eloquent post. I will be more careful in what I say.

Gov. Christie is a vindictive bully. His weight has nothing to do with. We should not denigrate anyone facing the challenges that you've faced by focusing on this or any physical characteristic. It is his character that matters and we should stick to that.

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Response to BlueState (Reply #7)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 04:58 AM

72. Absolutely true...

Gov. Christie is a vindictive bully. His weight has nothing to do with.

...and, yet, the unfortunate fact is that the "vindictive bully" label would be far less likely to stick to him (if it, in fact, does) if he looked like Scott Brown.

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Response to regnaD kciN (Reply #72)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 08:38 AM

79. Also true.

In fact, Dubya is every bit the vindictive bully that Christie is; he inherited Babs' genes in full. Romney too. But both are "fashionably slim" - so they don't attract the "fat" comments. The "banality of evil" is indeed prevalent.

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Response to BlueMTexpat (Reply #79)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 02:17 PM

96. they got mocked for their appearance, though.

Chimpy
Robot, magic underwear.

Just pointing it out.

Humans latch onto visual cues.

What we do after that is what's important.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:50 PM

8. Thank you!

So very, very well said.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:53 PM

9. Most people outgrow jokes based upon physical features

(as well as physical and mental illnesses) in childhood. Sadly , a few don't.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:55 PM

10. This is excellent!

People are either insensitive clods or they're not. It really is that simple.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:03 PM

12. Your MIND is the essence of who you are

 

Your body is just the shell which holds it.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:08 PM

14. knr

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:09 PM

15. thank you

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:12 PM

16. Miss Millie

I have to say thank you for sharing your story. Mine is similar. I was also very overweight, and I lost 80 lbs to be at the healthy weight I am now. I also have trouble seeing myself as I am as opposed to how I was.

I think you are giving a good reminder to people here why insults hurt many. Lobbing an insult at CC doesn't just hurt him. It hurts a lot of people.

Criticize him for his bad deeds. Not his weight. There's plenty there to find wrong with the man.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:16 PM

17. Thank you so much for your eloquent "vent"

about being "fat." I have struggled with weight issues my entire life, and have only recently come to understand that my obesity has been directly related to a childhood marred by every imaginable abuse, including sexual abuse by a 'trusted' family member.

When I lost (and kept off for seven years) over 86 pounds--I went from a size 24 to a size 10--people started making eye contact with my eyes instead of my abdomen. I suddenly had guys hitting on me all the time. It was enlightening, to say the least.

I am now a Vegan, and will mark my second year as a Vegan next month. I love the way I feel now, and I am happy losing weight gradually and permanently, as my body adjusts to healthy eating.

I think it's time DUers stop using sarcasm and derision to denigrate others--even Republicans. We disrespect ourselves first and foremost when we disrespect others.

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Response to chervilant (Reply #17)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 08:37 AM

78. Your last sentence is the best one on here. Thank You

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Response to classykaren (Reply #78)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:44 PM

90. +1

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:25 PM

18. Oh boy, my dear MissMillie...

So very well said!

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:25 PM

19. First off, BRAVO for your weight loss!

 

I was 325 ( 6'0 male), an now I am down to 232 heading for a goal of 210. Secondly, thank you for this:

"a normal BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9, for people who are not solid muscle"

I will always be considered obese, because I was very athletic, have a big frame, and genetically predisposed to being very muscular. Muscle weighs more than fat, and their BMI formulas don't allow for the difference. Chris Christie had band surgery, I believe, and has visibly lost a bunch of weight already. Hopefully he won't gain it all back after his world falls apart.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:25 PM

20. I absolutely empathize with you...I was a fat kid

and kids don't whisper behind your back...they call you names to your face...

I am sure you know, if you were fat as a kid...it is truly destructive for a child's ego.

I wanted to become a Cloister Nun...the ones that never speak, but just pray for the world.

I was lucky...my pediatrician put me on a strict diet (which my mother followed) and I lost most of the weight and never put it back on, till much later in life...though I always considered myself fat.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:29 PM

21. You Rock it, MissMillie

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:33 PM

22. I've been fat and thin

I've struggled with my weight my entire life. Right now, I'm in the process of losing 100 pounds. I've lost 58. The whole thing is going to take me 3 years, and that's 3 years of hard work and monitoring everything I eat. It's a huge J-O-B. Anyone who thinks you can lose weight with a little self control is an idiot.

Fat is one of the few things it's still okay to be hateful about. I would hope for better here.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:34 PM

23. MissMillie, good post. I myself have lost 124 pounds and for the first time in years

I am like my old self. A few thoughts on this mess about Christie... They won't comfort you but it might help explain a lot of the reaction.

In the past, when greed was portrayed, it was always a fat person. For the good or bad, greed was personified with a rich fat person.

I think people hate Christie so much, they don't care. THey just hate all of his being, like Rush. If they weren't fat, they would still be hated this much. The same people who hate him this way would never turn around and take on anyone else over the same issue. I think for some, a visceral fragment of an old paradigm is part and parcel of this. Being fat myself for a long time, I get it. I don't particularly like it but for Christie, I will let it pass. That is my thinking on this. Rush, Christie ... they want to starve the world yet they stand there sagging with their own greed and hate made physical. Just a thought.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:34 PM

24. Thank you. I am tired of seeing hatred and bigorty defended here at DU. nt

 

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:35 PM

25. Vent away



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Response to Beaverhausen (Reply #25)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:37 PM

26. hello friend!





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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:42 PM

27. Well done! Can I ask you something honestly?

How much of your weight loss was driven by increased awareness of your food choices and sense of responsibility for your dietary choices?

I don't hate obese people,but I do hate marketing for obese people, including the expanding acceptance that it's fine to be significantly obese (makes one "more of a woman", etc). I see these as marketing tactics geared towards getting people to consume more empty calories, have a closet stocked with 5 sizes of clothing, due to yo-yo dieting. I think these messages are cruel and immoral due to the known risks of obesity. And i think they take advantage of, and manipulate, a population with generally lower self-esteem. When you were obese, did you find yourself at all affected by these marketing messages, and was learning to ignore them at all a part of your recovery?

I'm asking sincerely, and I'm very proud of the progress you've made, and your willingness to share it here.

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Response to Barack_America (Reply #27)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:03 PM

30. Well, as I said in an earlier reply

I am a gastric bypass patient.

But part of the bariatric surgery program was regular consultation and classes with nutritionists.

My gastric bypass diet is in no way similar to what I used to eat before surgery.

And one of the things about the surgery is that different people end up having different food intolerances (is that a word?).

I don't do well w/ milk or ice cream. Bread is too filling (takes up too much space) leaving me not enough room for the protein and veggies my body needs desperately. (Bypassing 1/2 of the small intestine means 1/2 absorption of all nutrition. Sure half the fat and calories, but half the vitamins, half the minerals, etc.) If I have more than one cookie, the sugar will put me into a cold sweat and heart palpitations. (Interestingly enough, alcohol is the one sugar I process very well--too well! I'm the cheapest date on the planet!) So, yes, I am more aware of my dietary choices. I have to be. I get sick if I don't. Other people have different issues with different food/beverages.

I never liked advertising/marketing that told obese people that they should embrace being obese.

I do like advertising that tells obese people that they are not "less than" because of their illness.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 03:51 PM

28. Thank you very much - great post.

Christie's weight should be a non-issue. Do we care that Michael Moore is overweight, or that President Obama is a stringbean? For me, it's an emphatic "No" in both cases.

The factors that influence a person's size, shape, and health are complex and often *very* hard for an individual to control without help.

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had to suffer such prejudice and cruelty. I try to put myself in others' shoes, and I will think of your story the next time I see somebody who is struggling with their weight.



Gov. Christie is a crook and a bully who has misused public resources to his own selfish ends, in addition to upholding most of the same sociopathic policy positions as his Republican colleagues. That is why is despicable.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:01 PM

29. We are above criticism for physical appearance. That's a Rush behavior.

We can do better. Thanks for the reminder.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:11 PM

31. i like being fat

 

my big fat belly is bought and paid for.

i earned that shit.

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Response to FatBuddy (Reply #31)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:15 PM

33. to each his/her own

and I guess I really do mean that.

I thought up about 4 or 5 different things to say to your statement, and then I realized that when I was big I used to hate it when people lectured me about all the "bad" things about being big. So I won't do that to you.

I think it's wonderful that you like yourself.

At the same time, I'm glad I liked myself enough to take the steps necessary to relieve my own pain (which apparently isn't an issue for you, and I'm glad for that too).

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Response to MissMillie (Reply #33)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:38 PM

37. i made a major breakthrough

 

when I realized that people who don't accept for who I am aren't worth having in my life.

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Response to FatBuddy (Reply #37)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 11:09 AM

82. But sometimes

it's not even about being accepted, or not, by other people.

Sometimes it's about something as simple as being able to cut one's own toenails.

My Pipi won't do it for me. I can hardly bend over to do it myself. I had to buy a Dremel so I could grind them down. Even then, they end up growing so long they get caught on my socks. They're ingrown (curling in on themselves through my toe skin). I went to a podiatrist once to have them done. My insurance paid that one time, but won't pay again since I'm not diabetic, and that's $50 per visit.

So I grind away, and it takes 30 minutes for each foot because I'm doing contortions.

Bathroom hygiene? I'm not even going to go into details there...


I don't like being fat. I don't eat a whole lot...my problem is that I don't move enough. Hard to do when every bone and muscle is screaming in pain, but I try.


I see other people who weigh more than I do and honestly wonder how in the hell they deal with the same issues...

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Response to pipi_k (Reply #82)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 11:53 AM

84. you have love to yourself

 

before you can love anyone else or before anyone can love you.

taking care of yourself is an expression of that.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:15 PM

32. I've lost 40 pounds since January of 2013.

 

I won't say that it was particularly 'easy', but I will say I've enjoyed watching my physique bulk up, and some times after a good work out, I honestly do not recognize my body as my own anymore, the changes have been THAT dramatic.

At that weight, I was just at the low end of being clinically 'overweight'. At my weight now, I am at the low end of 'medium' or whatever the tranche is referred to between overweight and underweight.

Congratulations on taking the weight off, MissMillie! When you have your health, you really do have everything.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:16 PM

34. Very nicely put. Bravo to you.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:30 PM

35. Thank you, MissMillie

Similar to what I said to another post, I could see the republicans taking joy and power out of belittling another on their appearance. But, its beyond us here on DU - at least it should be.

Congratulations on your weight loss and return to healthy living!

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:36 PM

36. No one asked you out?

 



Maybe I should have given New England another chance.

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Response to KamaAina (Reply #36)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:33 PM

88. Love this post

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:40 PM

38. Thank you!

I've never been 'overweight'. I find the stupid 'jokes' about people's weight really, really offensive. I always alert on those posts, whether it's about Michael Moore or a republican like Chris Christie. DU should be better than that.

Thank you for taking the time to write such a personal and thoughtful post.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:53 PM

39. Thank you for speaking out.

I would also be considered obese - I gained my weight as a subconscious protection from sexual harassment. I was a late bloomer, and at around 20, I suddenly gained a lot of breast tissue. I was 5'3" and 115lbs and bra size at least 28H (even today I am a 34I,) and no man besides those related to me talked to my face - it didn't matter what I wore. Tops, shirts, my dad's shirts, turtlenecks with my dad's shirts over, didn't matter, as there wasn't a way to disguise that I had big breasts. After much street harassment, stalking, guys kissing me without warning etc, I let myself gain weight - and you can be darn sure I am NEVER going back to the weight I was. It doesn't matter that it was over 15 years ago and I'm rapidly nearing middle age - I would rather walk somewhat safely down the street, thank you very much.

The laziness of those that use his weight to denigrate Christie, when there's so many valid things to lambaste him with, just shows how intellectually challenged they are. They don't have the political acumen to actually come up with a proper argument.

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Response to KitSileya (Reply #39)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:26 PM

44. Oh, wow, i can relate to your post

I touched on it downthread a bit...I actually was an early bloomer, and was a D cup by age 15 (although I was probably bigger than that, D was all I could find in the stores at the time). So, I was thin with giant boobs....I was harassed constantly at school, at work...everywhere. I got so sick and tired of it by the time I was 20 and with my now-ex that I think I also gained as subconscious protection. And I think my ex liked it too because it kept other guys' eyes off of me, so he encouraged it. And once you gain it, it's that much more difficult to lose it. But like you, I find peace in being fat. And yeah, I do feel safer, too.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 04:56 PM

40. You speak for a whole lot of us, Miss Millie

Thank you so much for not letting the misconceptions and cruelties be.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:00 PM

41. Thanks for this! n/t

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:08 PM

42. As A Person Who Watches My Weight Every Single

day, I have to admit that I have 4 sisters who are more than over weight. They "say" they feel fine, they're not concerned all that much, but I don't believe it for one minute!

I have OCD and weight control is ONE POSITIVE thing that came with it. The other stuff, not so much. Still, I know I worry about my sisters all the time even though they say I'm anorexic. I'm so NOT anorexic, 5' 3 1/2" and 121 lbs is not underweight. At my age (67) my Dr., says "don't gain any more" and doesn't care if I drop 5 lbs.

I don't talk to them about their weight for fear of hurting their feelings, but I can tell they really aren't all that happy. One of them keeps putting off going to her doctor because she says he will tell her to at least try to drop 8 lbs a month. I HAVE to make myself exercise and do my stretches and there are so many days I just don't want to. I have to thank my 2 chocolate labs who give me "that look" and I know what it means.

I get on my husband because he never walks them, but it does "make" me do at least that much each day. For someone who carries extra weight I can only imagine what kind of incentive it must take to start an exercise program and stick with it.

I APPLAUD anyone who can follow through and lose great amounts of weight. I don't think I could even do it. So kudos to you for what you completed, I'm sure it was really tough.

And, I also understand what you say about people saying you're tiny and how it doesn't resonate that well. I hear it too, but that DOES not mean I give myself any slack and let myself go. I have to work at it too, every single day.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:18 PM

43. Good post.

I used to be thin. Growing up I was super athletic. I wasn't skinny, but I was a normal weight for my age and body type. I was involved in sports and I worked out daily, as well I walked everywhere. I did weights at our school gym and I was in phys ed as an 'option' in the curriculum in high school. I was in shape.

Unfortunately, my (very petite) mom thought I was too thick for her liking and I spent my pre-teen and teen years being put on diets, or shipped to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. She was controlling about food my entire life, and I would say, her and my dad were emotionally abusive if I didn't conform to their standards. I was incessantly shamed if I had an extra piece of bread at dinner, or conversely, forced to finish everything if I was full. Ridiculed if I liked something with a high fat or sugar content. Forced to eat nothing but raw celery and carrots for dinner when famished after a volleyball tournament. Yet, if my mom was in the mood to binge, she would enlist me as her sidekick, buy me all kinds of crap food, and treat me nicely while we binged.

All of this fucked up my relationship with food.

When I met my now-ex...he was upfront about how he didn't like my constant worry about what was going into my mouth. So I gave it up. He was the one person on the planet, I thought, that didn't care about being obsessed with food, and didn't care how much I weighed. He even said he liked bigger girls.

I ignored all of the other red flags about him because of finally feeling accepted for my weight.

Over the years my weight crept up. I gained with each baby I birthed. I was eventually diagnosed with PCOS because it was becoming impossible for me to lose weight at one point - I was working out for over 2 hours a day and eating 1500 cals/day while nursing a toddler and still couldn't lose more than 10 lbs over 6 months. Even my now-ex said, "gee, I feel so sorry for you because I see how hard you work at trying to lose weight. All I have to do is pick up a hockey game a week and I drop 20 lbs easy."

I lost a bunch of weight when my ex left me...because I was too stressed to eat. I was eating about 300 cals/day and that resulted in a loss of 60 lbs over 2 months...which resulted in a gallbladder attack, so I had surgery and lost a few more pounds. My mother was thrilled. Finally I was going to be her thin daughter again! She made me exercise with her every day. But then I started school and let me tell you, being a single mom of 4 while being a full-time university student was so stressful, I made some shitty food choices. Not constantly mind you but more often than usual. It took me over 4 years to regain the weight I lost when my ex left. It's difficult because I don't have the financial means or the time anymore to make good decisions as often as I used to. I've continued to exercise...mostly walking...over the last 4 years. It's not enough.

I think I have some psychological reasons for staying fat too....I was sexually harassed constantly as a teen and I found peace in being fat. No one grabs your boobs or ass anymore. Then the food issues. And likely some issues with rebelling against my eating-disordered mother's view of a perfect daughter.

But like you said, being fat is not easy. It sucks. The amount of energy it takes to get through a day is crazy. I hurt (but I used to hurt as a teen too from all the sports injuries). My goal is to become more healthy...so far I've been lucky in that my blood work and cholesterol and all that is within the healthy range...even the ideal range in some instances. But that may not always be that way. I'm not ready to make the surgery plunge. I've known too many people get very ill afterwards and it's not something I think I could deal with at this point in my life (still trying to finish school). Maybe when my youngest daughter is older (she's 6) and can fend for herself, like when she's a teen. In the meantime, it's hurtful to read the same stereotypes my fat-phobic parents perpetuated here on DU. I'm not any of those things.

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Response to laundry_queen (Reply #43)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:57 PM

91. This is an excellent post

I can relate because my own mother was very abusive (for the slightest infraction, she would swing me by my long hair - and then when I landed on the floor would stamp on my body - to this day, my hair is thinner on the left side).

I am not overweight, but I have other problems. Fortunately, I have raised four wonderful children who are in turn raising absolutely wonderful children. I am blessed.

Thank you for sharing what you have here. I wish I could be as courageous as you.

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Response to Grateful for Hope (Reply #91)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 02:48 PM

98. Wow. sounds like you went through a lot.

Hugs back to you. It's hard when the one person on earth who is supposed to love you unconditionally is the source of all your pain. My mother wasn't so much physically abusive (that was my dad), but she played the most fucked up mind games. Still does. Which means I can't read people or pick up red flags (working on that) and I'm hypervigilant about everything which leads to anxiety. My dad was like your mom - the slightest infraction and before you even knew what you did, you were being attacked.

I also have 4 children and I was really motivated to 'do it right'. I've read probably hundreds of parenting books. I practiced attachment parenting when they were little. So far so good, my teens are a joy to be around and my little ones are wonderful too. I get compliments on how great they are all the time. I hope that carries over to adulthood...for now I'm incredibly proud of them.

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Response to laundry_queen (Reply #98)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 03:01 PM

99. I also had abuse from my dad

So good to hear about your kids! Good on you!

I think that those of us who were very abused may tend to raise our children in the exact opposite way. Sounds like this what you are doing. I think this is what I did.


In regards to my father - it was sexual abuse.

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Response to Grateful for Hope (Reply #99)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 03:28 PM

101. I'm so sorry to hear that

that was one thing I didn't have to deal with as a child. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I had a friend who also went through that with her father. She was also part of my attachment parenting group. I agree that those of us who were abused often look to raise our kids in the opposite way. There were a lot of us in that parenting group.

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Response to laundry_queen (Reply #101)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 03:46 PM

102. Thanks for validating my thoughts, laundry_queen

What I think is that my father's abuse was nothing in comparison to the ongoing abuse by my mother.

Mothers are supposed to love their children unconditionally.

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Response to laundry_queen (Reply #101)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 03:41 AM

108. thanks, laundry_queen

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:27 PM

45. Great post, thank you! :). nt

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:35 PM

46. thx for sharing your story

 

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:42 PM

47. Thank you for your post. nt.

 

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 05:47 PM

48. thank you Miss Millie

I have never been overweight but it appalls me to see the casual fat jokes and outright vicious remarks thrown around DU regarding overweight people - you'll never see me doing that, or laughing about it.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 08:33 PM

49. The only reason I felt it could have been an issue was the "too much is never enough" implied....

 

Turns out the motive might well have been revenge for not getting his way on his judicial nominees.

He is a typical Republican in acting like the office is about being a master and not a servant.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:10 PM

50. This was not a school day for me

 

but one of my students called me at home to talk. She was in tears, talking - among other things - about someone close to her making her feel like shit because of her weight.

Christie is a bully. In the traffic deal, he personally had one intended target - the mayor. But his real victims were the collateral damage, and the effects of his bullying had, at least in one case, tragic results.

Fat jokes are a form of bullying. Fat jokes about Christie have an intended target. But there isn't a way to make them without leaving a mess of collateral damage, and we don't know what the unintended consequences will be. It might be an overweight person who could have been great for our community or country not running for office because they don't want to be continually identified as That Fat Person with all the ensuing snickering. Or it might be a teenager in a crisis reading commentary about Christie and coming to the conclusion that their weight will forever overshadow their identity in people's minds.

It's so hard to come away from phone calls like I had today and come to DU for my escape ... and see that people here just don't give a shit about their collateral damage; that their response to the people they hurt in the process is that they ought to lighten up.

I wish everyone of those people could spend some time manning a suicide hotline for teens to really understand how fragile self-esteem is. I don't know if they can't grasp that there are real people hurting in real ways, I don't know if they imagine manning the hotline and telling the teens to just get a sense of humor about how everyone treats them like they are a piece of shit because they are ugly, or fat, or unpopular for some other reason.

Anyway, all this is to say that I appreciated your words and thank you for posting them today.

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Response to noamnety (Reply #50)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 05:57 PM

110. It's never as simple as "getting a sense of humor" when you're a consistent target of ridicule.

Whatever "group" a person may belong to, being mocked and bullied on a constant basis - whether it's because of their race, gender, sexuality, disability, or anything else - will inevitably have a corrosive effect on their self-esteem.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:12 PM

51. I was there too, MissMillie..

I also have escaped. I had people yell at me as though my affliction was a direct attack on them. It makes no sense, but there it is. Perhaps it is terror that they, too could find themselves in the same predicament that sparks that massive overreaction.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:17 PM

52. I hear you -

Last edited Sat Jan 11, 2014, 08:49 AM - Edit history (1)

gained a lot of weight with the second baby (after being an athlete and not having these issues previously).

So, six years later I probably have 20 lbs. to go to be at a really good weight for my height. Still a little overweight w/BMI of 27, but so much better than it was.

Oddly it's been the onset of arthritis that has gotten me moving because I know it will be less pressure on my knees if I weigh less. Changing eating habits (incredibly important) and walking a lot have been my primary strategies.

But it's definitely difficult to lose weight when you get so heavy.

ETA - And in my case arthritis is the only other issue, others have things like diabetes or other medical issues that complicate matters further.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:19 PM

53. Congrats on the weight loss...

 

I am struggling with that myself. You are entirely spot on about the weight shaming that happens here. The jury system sucks- moderators would have shut most of this down, and you wouldn't have the option to view hidden posts.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:21 PM

54. If republicans mocked JFK for his back-brace and constant diarrhea, DU would be furious.

 

And rightly so.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:32 PM

55. I thank you so dearly.

another K & R

I have read every word of every post in this thread.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:35 PM

56. My favorite post of the day

Thank you, MissMillie.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:36 PM

57. Exctly

 

and good for you. It is not easy.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:36 PM

58. Congrats on your weight loss...My sister was close to 400lbs

x

I have been turned away from dining places with her...

She was unable to walk at all...

She finally said fuck it and got the surgery...I'm proud of her that she took this step...and the elements to the disease are multi faceted..

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:38 PM

59. I used to be fat too.

 

Fat shaming made me get off my butt and start working out. I've lost 35 pounds since June and drastically changed my diet. If I can do it, anyone can.

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #59)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 11:03 PM

61. For somebody who loves science I love that statement

 

Yes, there is addiction to it

yes, it is a disease

No, it is not a moral failing.

And we will talk in five years, if you manage to keep that weight off that is. The statistics are NOT with you.

I might add, you should look into metabolic issues.

For the record, yes I can talk. I gained fifty + pounds due to a side effect from a med, and I have managed to maintain the weight loss after five years. I need to lose another 20 or so, and doc and I are pretty happy at the maintenance, since we get it.

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Response to nadinbrzezinski (Reply #61)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 11:54 PM

62. My excuse was that I was too damn lazy.

 

It has very little to do with science. Most of the time, obesity comes from the lack of willpower and laziness + a horrible diet. The men in my family die from heart disease due to obesity. I won't be one of them.

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #62)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:03 AM

65. Once again, it is not a moral failing.

 

As to the horrible diet, more and more evidence is coming out to the addictive nature of some foods.

And heart disease is not just obesity related. Hyperlipidemia has a very strong genetic component. Yes, exercise and diet help, but if yours is due to genetics, statins do play a critical role, damn science I know.

And I wish you luck in beating those damn statistics, I really do.

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #62)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 02:10 PM

95. Congrats on your efforts

see post #63

It's disheartening to see the attacks on fat people here...there are so many other things to judge Christie for, don't you think?

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #59)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 11:58 PM

64. i think there is a huge difference between 35 lbs overweight

 

and 100lbs overweight

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Response to La Lioness Priyanka (Reply #64)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:08 AM

66. According to the BMI

 

I was considered obese because of my height.

But yes, there is.

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Response to La Lioness Priyanka (Reply #64)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 05:24 AM

73. Also between reducing for six months

and maintaining for any significant period of time, particularly in the middle of stressful periods of life.

I lost 70 pounds and kept it off for three years and then lost my job, my home, my pets and all of my savings and gained all the weight back. It wasn't because I was "lazy". It was because I was stressed and not in a life situation that allowed me to prioritise my weight or personal appearance.

Anyone who has lost 50+ pounds and kept it off for several years would know better than to claim it was just about correcting a moral failing. I had to restructure my entire life in a way that promotes physical health including where I live, where and how many hours and which hours I work, whether or not I buy a car, who I hang around with, etc. It's not just (or even primarily) about getting motivated to get my fat behind off the sofa and many, many people are not lucky enough in their jobs or family situations to be able to make the choices I can make.

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #59)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 05:59 PM

111. So if we just shame and ridicule every obese person enough, they'll all lose weight...

You may be the exception, but mockery and insults do not lead to weight loss, for most people...

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Response to nomorenomore08 (Reply #111)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 06:00 PM

112. Yeah.

 

That's what I said.

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #112)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 06:09 PM

113. If it's someone close to you whose weight you're concerned about, then that's one thing.

But in that case, again, I really don't think "shaming" is the right approach. Seems more the kind of thing you discuss quietly, and tactfully, in private.

A stranger, on the other hand - like that random guy who e-mailed that anchorwoman and was defended by a few on here - has no business discussing another person's weight as if they have any say in it.

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Response to nomorenomore08 (Reply #113)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 06:19 PM

114. Anyone who's in the public eye...

 

is part of everyone's business. Don't want to be scrutinized by the public? Don't work on tv.

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Response to Vashta Nerada (Reply #114)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 09:45 PM

115. I understand that argument, but it's too similar to those who try to rationalize, for instance,

misogynistic remarks about female celebrities, or homophobic remarks about famous gays. And I would rather not encourage bigotry or petty meanness - there's more than enough of both in the world.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Fri Jan 10, 2014, 11:58 PM

63. I hope everyone reads your moving post

and thinks a bit about what they say. Thank you for explaining the issue in such a heartfelt manner.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:15 AM

67. K&R!

 

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:25 AM

68. Thank you for this post.

 

It's important to share, I'm try to lose weight myself, lost about 30 need to lose 10 or so more.

It's not easy.

Thanks!

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 01:29 AM

69. I've lost 85 lbs. I mostly agree with you, with just a little qualification.

Certainly the fat jokes about Christie should go. It's his bullying approach to politics, and his Republican politics, that deserve the focus of our criticism. We all should be more sympathetic to how difficult weight issues can be.

On the other hand, I do think, if not taken to excess, a little bit of social pressure helps, as long as it's motivating, not too cruel or harshly shaming. I have never blamed others if they didn't find me physically attractive when I was fat. I don't find fat very attractive myself, and I'm not going to hold a hypocritical double standard. Chemistry is chemistry. People can't just will themselves into physical attraction for the sake of political correctness.

For my own case -- although I certainly don't hold everyone else to this standard -- my weight really is a matter of personal discipline and effort. My highest measured weight (it may have gone higher during some long, unmeasured spans of time) was 263 lbs, back in April 2012. For my height of 6', that's about 35.7 BMI -- so not as severe as you got, but still quite bad enough. I'm now 178 (BMI 24.1), and even though that's near the upper end of the "normal" BMI range, most people think I look not just normal, but skinny now.

I lost weight once before in the 90s, coming down from a then-top weight of maybe 245 (I never weighed myself until after I noticed I was losing weight), and I kept myself fit and trim for 7-8 years. Then I slowly let my fitness slide when life circumstances made it more difficult to stick with my diet and exercise routine.

For a while I just didn't care. I didn't feel like the first 10-20 pounds I regained was such a big deal. And when that didn't seem like a big deal, the next ten on top of that didn't seem like a big deal either. Eventually my excess weight started to bother me a little, but still not quite enough to get me exercising and eating better again. I had never been a "rah, rah, feel the burn!" exercise enthusiast. Exercise was never better than a dreary chore to be done as far as I was concerned, which made it tough to stick to it for as many years as I had once before, and even tougher to return to it. Fitness was a fond memory, but the process of staying fit was anything but.

And oddly enough, for as much as people often recommend exercise to battle depression, I suffered the worst episodes of depression in my life while I was fittest I'd ever been. This made me fear that I might be prone to exercised-induced depression (turns out there is such a thing), and, whether it was merely another rationalization for hating exercise or not, that factor only added to my reluctance to get back to exercise and better eating.

It took a series of little shocks, spread out over a few years, to make me resolve to lose weight again. One of the first shocks I remember was when I was given, as a Christmas present, a visit to an indoor skydiving session. It turns out that there was a top allowed weight of 250 lbs. On the skydiving center's scale, in my winter street clothes, I came out to 253. They let the few extra pounds slide. When I was in the skydiving chamber, even though I'd previously watched others flying all around through the air while I waited, I barely managed floating 2-3 feet above the floor.

Then there were growing twinges of knee pain. Finding myself pushing off on the arm of the sofa to get up. Having to give into buying jeans with a 40" waist (I'm now wearing 30"!), and then having those 40-inchers starting to get tight. Suddenly having to chase after an escaping cat, but feeling I was mired in molasses up to my thighs the moment I tried to run.

The final straw came when my wife bought a new bathroom scale. I stepped on it and saw 270! It turns out that the scale had to be calibrated first, but even when that was done, and I stepped on the scale buck naked, I was still getting 263, which was bad enough. I think seeing that first uncalibrated, clothes-on weight of 270 was a good thing for me, however, because I not sure a "mere" 263 would have been, of and by itself, quite as much shock as I needed.

The next day I began regular exercise, and greatly improved my diet. I've been at it ever since. I lost 50 lbs in six months -- just in time to meet my first goal of losing 50 before turning 50. I've been under 200 for a full year now. I've been at my current weight of 178 about six months.

Having lost a lot of weight now twice in my life, and that first time having kept it off for many years, and showing all the signs that I'll again keep it off for many years to come, I can't, for my own case, ever accept any excuses about my weight being some weird biological or medical thing beyond my control. For me, discipline matters. Not being lazy matters. If I regain the weight I've lost, I will consider that a personal failing, and I think rightly so.

This time around I dumped the low-fat diet I used during the 90s. I didn't suffer too much from hunger while losing weight this second go round, and I hardly ever feel myself going hungry now that I'm eating to maintain my current weight. I still don't love exercise in general, but I've found stuff to do that I at least find more tolerable, and a few activities (that I unfortunately can't do often enough to be my main source of exercise) I actually do enjoy. The bad depression I'd experienced in the 90s did not recur.

One reason I'm not as tough on others as I can be on myself, however, is that I know I've got advantages working for me that others won't have (a gym at work, a very short commute that frees up time, getting an appetite suppressing effect from exercise), and I also know, having done it myself once before, how easy it is to fall off the wagon.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 01:34 AM

70. Well said! Thank you for telling your story.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 02:56 AM

71. Thank you for sharing. Sadly, people are superficial.

That's why models and actors make many times more than do nurses.

All the comments and cartoons about Palin's looks, positive or negative, were also proof that many people are superficial (as well as possibly sexist). Same with Christie's weight. In both instances, there was plenty to say without mentioning appearance.

Pointing this out is good, IMO.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 05:24 AM

74. Thank you!

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)


Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 08:15 AM

76. Very well said ...

 

but it's a shame that it would have to be said on a Democratic/left-leaning site.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 09:31 AM

80. Damn straight.

Good post.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 10:35 AM

81. The same is true for people who bully, drink too much, make stupid choices, or go into politics

 

Or dentists, lawyers, old people, Aggies, and especially people who slip and fall.
Because we shouldn't say jokes about anybody about anything, especially if someone else on the planet may have made the same joke-worthy choices or had the same mishap occur.
I've dealt with obesity personally and in my family. My father died at 55 with congestive heart failure brought on by a lifetime of overeating and a sedentary lifestyle. I know how hard it is to lose weight, and obesity is different than being crippled or having cancer or mental retardation. I'll be damned if I'll go oohh-ahh because someone is carrying extra weight and it makes them tired.
Obese people suffer from a set of consequences brought on by their condition - physical, mental and social. That's why it is unhealthy.
You have no authority or experience that gives you the right to lecture me about what I can or cannot use for humor.

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Response to Android3.14 (Reply #81)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:37 PM

89. What do you mean "You have no authority or experience that gives you the right..."

She most certainly DOES have the experience and when it comes to how SHE is treat (is or was treated) she has all the authority she needs to speak out and say what she did.

I'm not understanding your comments at all.

aA

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Response to auntAgonist (Reply #89)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 03:22 PM

100. No.

 

If a person is unhappy because he or she takes personal insult from comments people are making towards someone else, then that person has other issues besides a sense of social justice. Her experience has little to do with what is funny and what is not, regardless of how many capital letters you use.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 11:50 AM

83. This is such an excellent post

Thank you for this.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:06 PM

85. Congratulations and thank you for your story. That said, BMI is flawed (not b/c muscle)

 

Well, it is flawed because of people with significant muscle and people with particularly larger frames - that is indeed true, but it is ALSO FLAWED because of how it accounts for height!

BMI squares weight as you increase in height. So someone twice as tall as you would "only" weight four times as much as you. They would obviously double your weight because they are twice as long as you. They should also be twice as wide (distance from right shoulder to left shoulder, or right hip to left hip in a straight line) so 2x2 = 4 times as heavy as you. But wait! People are three dimensional, not two! So they should also be twice as deep as you (belly to back distance in a straight line, or face to back to head distance in a straight line).

So twice for height, twice for width, and twice for depth. 2x2x2 = 8!

It is nonsensical that BMI squares weight as height goes up. I've heard some people argue that taller people are not exactly proportional to shorter people, but it still does not mean square for the exponent is accurate. Maybe 2.5 or 2.6.

In fact studies seem to correlate being taller with being more overweight (by BMI standards), but I think the eye calculator shows the opposite (tall people are generally "thinner", of course there are fat tall people and thin short people, but on average...)

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Response to MillennialDem (Reply #85)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 02:08 PM

94. Waist size matters too

Generally, men's waist size should be no greater than 40 inches and women's should be no greater than 35. Healthy BMI is always expressed as a range.

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Response to TexasBushwhacker (Reply #94)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 02:29 PM

97. Yes it is expressed as a range, but it it is still fundamentally flawed for height/weight squared!

 

Being taller will also imply a larger waist size as well so that metric is also flawed. A 5 foot tall man with a 40 inch waist is going to be a fat ass and a 7 foot tall man with a 40 inch waist is not.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 12:33 PM

87. Those who are uncomfortable in their own skin (even if it's not readily apparent) are the ones

who are quick to poke fun. It's easy to be an online bully. Human failing.

I've gone from 302 lbs to 135 lbs (surgery) The best thing I've ever done for my health.

I still 'feel' fat some days and have a hard time when I shop because I always gravitate to the wrong size clothing. I can't seem to get my brain to realise that I take a size 6 and not a 5X

I too take a boat load of supplements daily and I have had some issues and needed to be hospitalized.

I researched surgeries for 3 years and decided on the most radical of procedures. The Biliopancreatic Diversion with a Duodenal Switch.

My surgery was in March of 2005, the 15th. I have maintained 135 for 6 years now.

aA

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 01:00 PM

92. Late night comedians haven't got the message.

 

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 01:38 PM

93. An old proverb

might have it wrong , but - All of us are four people , one who we really are. Two who we think we are. Third , how we think others see us and fourth who we want to be.

and probably a fifth, who we settle for - but that one is too depressing.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 04:31 PM

103. I used to be thin

to the point they called me Twig in the 60s and accused me of vacationing in concentration camps or in whatever African country was experiencing famine, that skinny.

When I turned 50, in a period of 3 months, I put on 40 pounds without changing my diet (in the beginning, soon went to one meal a day) or exercise (RN who ran it off 12 hours at a time).

Going through a drastic change like that is awful. Having punks make bad jokes or earnest bigots who tell you you're fat for your own good just made it worse and worse.

I have no idea what put all the fat on me but it's not poor diet or lack of exercise.

My body type is no one's business but mine. The only reason Christie's comes under comment is that morbidly obese people do tend to die a lot sooner than people who are merely overweight and this is not desirable for a presidential candidate.

Other than that, it's not your bloody business whether a person is underweight, overweight, tall, short, white, black, or green with purple spots. If you must criticize, criticize something the person can work on, like anger management for Christie or reading the NT instead of Leviticus for fundies.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 05:01 PM

104. As a person with asthma,

"We wouldn't crack jokes about people with arthritis, asthma, diabetes, ulcerative colitis, etc.
We shouldn't crack jokes about people with obesity."

I sort of took issue with the likening of it to obesity. Asthma is a chronic illness that cannot be cured, but in most cases, obesity can be fought and lessened by changing one's lifestyle choices. In addition, jokes are cracked in society all the time about people who suffer from things like asthma and obesity. I'm not implying that it is ethical, but jokes are going to be made about those topics, whether we like it or not. Chris Christie made the decision to step into politics, and people are going to find things about him to poke fun at. If people don't like the jokes about him, there is not much to do about that except move on; those who are into fat jokes are going to find them funny regardless.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Reply #104)

Sat Jan 11, 2014, 09:17 PM

105. I'm sure those who risk their very life on surgery to get control over their eating would

disagree with your assessment of obesity. My sister in law in fact had gastric bypass surgery. It's a painful surgery, and a risky surgery to boot. And yet many have the surgery because they know it is their only hope for surviving their obesity. I agree that those who crack jokes about fat people or anybody else will do it regardless, but that does not mean we can't take a stand against it just as we would if people were cracking jokes about gay people, sick people, disabled people or minorities.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Reply #104)

Sun Jan 12, 2014, 04:32 PM

109. Morbid obesity is increasingly seen not as a moral failing

 

but a chronic medical condition, just as Asthma or diabetes. In fact, diabetics have a hell of a time losing weight, it is part of the disease process.

Now society has yet to catch up to this new medical reality.

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Response to MissMillie (Original post)


Response to MissMillie (Original post)

Tue Feb 4, 2014, 04:19 PM

116. Good for you Ms. Millie

Good for you Ms. Millie! Thank you for venting and writing such a meaningful post.

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