What do you think of marriage proposals

[minivan2]

Do you want them to be in public? private? don't care?

I hate public displays of affection. So it should be private.

Mainly if it's on TV then it is so cliche

Also, I'm 18 so if I get married I'll be really young, and I don't have a girlfriend.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

1. Well, okay then. nt

[Ranchemp.]

2. Why should we care where someone proposes?

Actually, this thread would be better off here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1018

[randome]

3. 'Proposals' are given far too much melodrama.

A discussion like that should never occur in the context of a surprise among like-minded intellectuals, I would think.

But I LIKE public displays of affection!
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Precision and concision. That's the game.[/center][/font][hr]

[JustAnotherGen]

4. What sparked this question?

[minivan2]

9. I was watching the Price is Right today

And somebody proposed, and it was just so over the top, I mean, why do they think that it's the best thing in the world?

[MineralMan]

17. Nothing that happens on the Price is Right is really

important, so why shouldn't someone propose on that show? It's a silly game show on television. Who cares what happens on it?

I think you may have picked a poor example to use as an illustration, really.

[ProgressSaves]

5. I think it's turning into a thing people do just to share on social networking sites.

There's only so many pictures you can take of your lunch.

[Glassunion]

6. As long as you're not smoking around me

have at it and propose away!!

[LumosMaxima]

7. Private.

And even in private, low-key and not an embarrassing spectacle. I've never been a romantic person. That stuff just makes me squirm.

[minivan2]

10. +1

[laundry_queen]

40. Ditto.

And never, ever on a jumbo-tron. Please, for the love of God.

[uppityperson]

8. None of my business. It is between the people who are doing it, up to them. eom

[herding cats]

11. It's up to the two people involved.

I don't really think what anyone else thinks should play a role in it.

[quinnox]

12. All I gotta say is there better not be any pies in range if one was making a spectacle near me

I would be sorely tempted to give the would be groom a pie right in the face.

[athena]

13. Honestly,

if someone proposed to me that way, I would run away as fast as possible.

I'm married, so the question is moot, but I still think public proposals are creepy. There is something manipulative about them. And they're inconsiderate of the person being proposed to, who might not want to be put on the spot.

[randome]

14. "Surprise! I want to marry you!"

If it's really a surprise, maybe the relationship is built more on spectacle than anything else.

Ah well, people will be people.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Precision and concision. That's the game.[/center][/font][hr]

[Shrike47]

19. I cannot but agree. This is a private matter. Of course, I don't post myself on Twitter all day.

[kcr]

32. I agree.

I wouldn't like it either and hate them for the same reason. It comes off as manipulative to me, too.

[JI7]

43. i agree and in my case any guy who would even think about doing it in public

would be someone who does not really know me at all . because anyone who knows me would know how much i would hate it even without me having to tell them directly.

[LittleBlue]

15. Don't care.

When planning my own, I knew 99% that she would say "yes" so it didn't enter my mind. It was more important to get the right setting/circumstances.

Do whatever you want.

[TlalocW]

16. Oh, my, this is so sudden

But I'm just not ready, and I think of you as a friend.

TlalocW

[Zorra]

18. If I hated public diplays of affection, I would seek therapy in order to find out why. nt

[zappaman]

20. The other day I saw a couple holding hands in the grocery store!

"Get a room!" I yelled at them...

[minivan2]

23. nice

[monmouth3]

21. The last two I got sucked. Avoid them at all costs....n/t

[ProgressSaves]

22. I saw someone propose in a Golden Corral once.

Asking someone to marry you in a greasy, all you can eat buffet isn't very romantic...

But hey, whatever floats your gravy boat.

[brooklynite]

24. ...and why were --you-- in the Golden Corral?

Maybe that's where they went on their first date.

[ProgressSaves]

25. I like buffets!

But, yes, you're probably correct.

[In_The_Wind]

26. I honestly don't remember the proposals.

Maybe it's because they weren't special. They just sorta happened.

[Lex]

27. Public ones are weird

to me and kind of exhibitionist.

[Shandris]

28. I think it's too hard to find someone compatible enough to try to share a life with...

...in this world for me to -ever- begrudge someone's attempt to do just that. I find them adorable and romantic with very few exceptions. I don't mind PDA (within reason) either. My only concern is when you see one and the other person is soooo uncomfortable with it. In cases like that, I can't help but think if you were truly that close you should know that the other person would -not- like it, and I wonder if you aren't using the 'public pressure' to get something you might not get otherwise. It strikes me as manipulative.

But most of them that you may see are -not- like that, and I would be ecstatic to have a proposal like that.

[tazkcmo]

29. Entirely uneccesary

and an indirect cause of divorce.

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. "If you can get rid of this trailer, I'll marry you..."

Said my soon to be husband in the living room of my trailer...

...and I loved every word of it because he was nervous, and that's just how it came out.

[Agnosticsherbet]

31. I think what happens between two concenting adults is their business.

If someone wants to engage 12 Drummers Drumming, Eleven Pipers Piping, Ten Lords a Leaping, Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids a Milking, Seven Swans a Swimming, Six Geese a Laying, Five Golden Rings, Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves,
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree to propose marriage in the center of times square, then it is that person's business.

One Caveat, I would not approve of Christie proposing to Bridget Anne Kelly on the George Washing Bridge jus to punish Fort Lee because it's mayor didn't support him.

[Initech]

33. If it's a restaurant I don't mind. If it's a staduim full of people I am not a fan.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

47. "If it's a staduim full of people I am not a fan."

If you're not a fan then why are you in the stadium?

Ba-dum-BUMP!

Thank-you! Thank-you! I'll be here all weekend. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[Initech]

48. I see what you did there!

I meant to say I'm not a fan of stadium wedding proposals. That's one of those "look at me!!!!1!!!" typo of deals.

[Cal Carpenter]

56. "typo of deals"

eta: hope this is taken in the right spirit, I usually don't point out typos but I mean, come on....

[Initech]

58. Cell phone auto correct.

[Nye Bevan]

34. I don't like public marriage proposals. They put the woman in a very awkward position,

as even if she wants to decline she may not do so as she doesn't want to look like the "bad guy" in a public setting. I have no problem with PDA's such as holding hands, hugs or occasional kisses, however.

[renate]

44. it happened to a friend of mine

She couldn't really decline because everybody in the restaurant was watching, and the next day he told everybody in our department, so she couldn't end it right away because it would have been humiliating for him. They did break up eventually. whew....

[Lost_Count]

35. Noted...

At least you've got your minivan... possibly two of them...

[MADem]

36. I think they're kinda "bullying" exercises, myself.

The proposer gets down on one knee, asks the dramatic question...and the CROWD. GOES. WILD!!!!!!!!!

The "proposee" is left in the uncomfortable position of either saying "Ewwww, Yes, Yes, AH WILL, AH WILL marry you" followed by the big sloppy kiss and crowd cheers....

....or saying "Uh....no...." and hearing boos and grumbling and stunned silence, followed by All Eyes on the unhappy couple until they flee the venue.

If it's really meaningful I think it should be meaningfully communicated in private, unless the two have already agreed to marry and they're just doing the whole "public betrothal" in order to be publicity/attention "w-words" because they're a happy pair of narcissists.

If you're eighteen, make sure you use birth control, be responsible, and don't even think about getting married until you have more life experience and economic security. You'll likely regret it if you marry too young.

[The_Commonist]

37. Maybe this is why you don't have a girlfriend?

Just kidding!

[NCTraveler]

38. I really don't mind it in public.

I think it is kind of a public showing of affection towards one and other. Letting the world know.

I have found that it is very rare for a man to ask a woman without already having had an extensive conversation(s) about it. If a man does it in a public setting, and the woman didn't know that they were at that point yet, she should run. I find that to be very overbearing.

[Pendrench]

39. Hi minivan2 -

I can only speak for myself...I preferred to propose in private, probably because I was so nervous

Not nervous that she would say "No" but more along the lines that we were about to share the rest of our lives together, and that's a pretty big decision to say the least.

Hope you have a nice weekend.

Tim

[JI7]

41. i find public ones to be a turn off in every way , why do strangers

need to know or care about it ?

[Kablooie]

42. My dad showed up at my Mom's door with a paper bag...

He thrust it at her then left.

Inside was a ring.

He was very shy.

[Tikki]

45. I love spontaneous displays of affection. Nothing is sweeter than young love and friendships...

Welcome to DU..

You're correct, should not go over the top…but holding hands, hugging, group hugs, sweet kisses..no matter the
ages are amazing when you discover two or more sharing that kind of affection…keeps my spirit young.

Now as for the marriage proposal…since they only take a minute or two, I see no problem
in public or private…but there are a few places where it would prob be inappropriate.


Tikki..I am an older DUer...

[FSogol]

46. Dude! 18 is too young to get married. Go see the world and have more experiences first.

[pipi_k]

49. Don't much care, but...

I have a story about how one of my stepdaughters got engaged.

She and her boyfriend had been discussing marriage for a while and had looked at rings, etc.

He knew he would ask her. She knew he would ask her.

They just weren't sure where or when.

So about 7 or 8 months later we're at their house for his birthday party. The whole family is there...hers and his.

In the house he pulls out the ring and shows me and Mr Pipi (and maybe a couple of others) and says that the next day they were going hiking and he would propose then. We convinced him to do it in front of the family.

He did.

OMG. I still have goose bumps. Everyone was crying happy tears. It was absolutely awesome!

It worked in that situation.


But if it's a total surprise, the guy might want to consider not making it so public in case she says no.

[FarCenter]

50. The parents should arrange the marriage, along with appropriate dower and curtesy.

Actually, legal counsel for each family should do the negotiations.

[tridim]

51. If it makes them happy, let them be happy. nt

[LeftyMom]

52. I think you should have a good sense of the person you're asking.

Some people HATE being the center of attention, some people love it, some want a big fancy planned thing and some like spontaneity. There's really not a one size fits all rule, any more than for anything else.

[Warren DeMontague]

54. I would agree.

I didn't ask until I was pretty darn sure of the answer, anyway.

[Warren DeMontague]

53. I think it depends on the couple. If they don't have a problem with it being public, it's cute.

If someone does it publicly and puts their potential partner in an uncomfortable spot, that's uncool, of course--- but if nothing else perhaps it points up some communication deficiencies in the relationship that are better resolved sooner than later.

[KentuckyWoman]

55. I always feel bad for the one asked in public.

I remember when a young man sprung it on my sister at a huge family reunion. She said yes but quietly handed him the ring back after a very long but private conversation. They never dated again. I always wonder how many big propsals end up similar.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

57. I think it's great..if both parties are wearing purple gorilla suits and signs saying "Look at ME!".

If you're gonna be a narcissist why not go all out?

[cynatnite]

59. If you're going to do a public proposal, you better know what the answer is gonna be...

Who cares if it's in public or not. All that matters is the couple involved.