"So soon?" she says with surprise. The librarian has just told us our time is up.

[struggle4progress]

I started tutoring her when she was in fifth or sixth grade. It was a delight to work with her back then: she was bright and enthusiastic, and it went well. As she progressed through middle school, she might have decided girls weren't supposed to be smart, and our sessions tapered off

Her mom started telling me she'd developed an attitude. I wouldn't see that when I ran into her now and then, but maybe it's because I always still saw the smart little girl who'd charmed me so much in the past

She's in high school now. About a year ago, she let me know she'd flunked math. I made sure she knew I'd be happy to resume our tutoring sessions. She repeatedly said she'd call but never did. This year, she's been sick quite a lot. The school district finally put her into an at-home program

Her mom called last night to ask if I could tutor her today

So we meet at the library this morning and book a study room for an hour to go over some of her problems with math. She still seems bright and alert to me

Suddenly the librarian appears to tell us our hour is up: the next group with room reservations has arrived

"So soon?" the girl says. She sounds genuinely surprised, and she's not ready for the session to end. We sneak to a table elsewhere in the library and continue our work in hushed voices. Sometime later her mother appears to reclaim her. The girl herself sets up another session with me for tomorrow afternoon. Then she grabs all the paper I've used to illustrate our discussion and shoves it into her backpack

I say hi to her younger sister. I tutored her a few times, too. A few years ago, as we walked by the stacks after one of her sessions, she'd told me she thought some of the books in the library were very hard, and I'd told her she'd be able to read them if she practiced. She's a seventh-grader now, and she carries in her arms several thick volumes she's just checked out. I think she's become a reader. She beams at me

Driving home in the pouring rain, I figure life is pretty good: the high school girl, who has an attitude and recently flunked math, thinks our math tutoring session was over too much soon and wants more

[NMDemDist2]

1. this gives me hope n/t

[struggle4progress]

5. kids can do that to us, if we give them the chance

[CherokeeDem]

2. First... thank you...

for taking time to tutor... very noble.

As another poster said, this gives me hope, but it also makes we wonder. Apparently, no one else has been able to reach her and engage her in learning. While I have nothing but admiration for those who teach, I wonder if she has been slighted by not having teachers who could reach her.

So glad you can.

Wish you both luck....

[struggle4progress]

7. the key to reaching kids, i think, is to take them seriously, and it helps a lot

if they know you like them

this girl knows i like her

and since she was in elementary school, i've insisted on beginning and ending our tutoring sessions by shaking hands: i've never said a word about the handshake, but i've always proffered my hand, and at some point years ago she started beating me to the proffer. it says "i take you seriously" and then we can discuss the topic at hand

[MADem]

30. I feel bad for teachers; they have to teach to a stupid test, they have to teach shit their charges

should have learned at home; their student-teacher ratio is often absurd; they have to buy their own materials, and they get crapped on by administrators and (GOP) public officials who think the answer is charter schools where spanking is allowed.

I'd like to see a national standard for schools. It shouldn't matter if you are in zip code 90210 or 48204--you should get the same quality of education, with the emphasis on QUALITY.

I don't mind "holding a teacher's feet to the fire" so long as that teacher has the wherewithal--the tools and time to teach, to include lessons that aren't from the middle of the last century, an appropriate student-teacher ratio, not having to put up with misbehavers, and the support of the public officials. They shouldn't have to plead to get parent volunteers, or prostitute themselves with pleas that people shop at X supermart so that they'll get fifty bucks towards pencils and paper.

A kid like this one, if she was having trouble in a small class, I think should be pulled aside and given an opportunity to express her concerns--not to the teacher, but to a third party. If she's not getting it, and everyone else is, maybe she learns differently and needs one-on-one or a smaller class or a slower pace.

[elleng]

3. THANK YOU!

[struggle4progress]

8. i wouldn't do it if i didn't enjoy it

enjoying what one does is a major part of doing it well

[elleng]

14. Of course,

and that makes it no less worthy of thanks!

[panader0]

4. Good for you.

[struggle4progress]

10. maybe we should all say "good for her"

as a high schooler, she could have all kinds of reactions besides "i want to learn more"

[monmouth3]

6. You must be a terriffic teacher. Much luck to you and she..n/t

[struggle4progress]

12. or it could be that she's in a good place right now and easy to work with

[goldent]

9. Nice story! nt

[Rex]

29. +1

nt

[mountain grammy]

11. The right teacher at the right time can save a life. That's just what you're doing.

[struggle4progress]

19. i'd really like to see her succeed

[tecelote]

27. Agreed.

It's easy for high school kids to feel overlooked or left out by their regular teachers.

One strong attentive tutor can change everything.

The new knowledge and confidence gained from the tutor gets recognized in school and their whole world improves.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

13. :)

Love this!

[bhikkhu]

15. Nice! I wish I could do what you are doing

but my kids tell me that when I try to explain math to them they go away more confused and frustrated than they started. I suppose there is talent involved.

[glowing]

20. My mom is a phenomenal math teacher. However, when she was helping as a "mom", it was NO help.

I think her knowing her daughters so intamtely made it hard for us to reconcile any homework help. I often see her explain, basically the same thing I'm saying, to my son, over a speaker phone, and he "gets it" better than when I'm trying to help him out.

I think there is a basic understanding within our household of what a child had learned, what should be review, and assumptions on the level of building block understanding, that a general frustration builds up with parent/ kid/ homework help. The child is a bit stubborn on what the teacher has said and has a tendency to want to zone out. And as a parent, my frustration starts edging in because I know there are multiple ways of looking at a problem and sometimes the "teacher's way" may not be the best way for the child; especially knowing which learning traits seem to have taken hold the best over multiple years.

I bet you would have better luck helping your children's friends over helping your own children. The fact that you continue to try to help and that your children know you understand what they are doing, is a huge help because in the back of their heads they know if you got it, then they are going to get it too, at some point. Don't give up and always try to help and recognize when a tutor may be necessary for certain subjects.

[eggplant]

31. I end up tutoring all of our friends' kids in math

It avoids all of the parent/kid drama, since I'm neutral. It goes pretty well most of the time, except when one friend hovers around her daughter while I do it.

[Gothmog]

16. Great story

You are making a difference

[Thor_MN]

17. Thank you.

What you are doing is very valuable.

[TeamPooka]

18. As the son of an elementary school teacher I love this story. nt

[awoke_in_2003]

21. Most kids want to learn...

they just need the right type of person to teach them. It sounds like you are that type. I envy you a bit- my dream job would be teaching high school math- any level would be fine. I know the pay sucks, but I would enjoy doing it.

[struggle4progress]

45. yes, i think most kids want to learn

[Nay]

49. I agree that most children want to learn and, most importantly, they need an

adult around who thinks they are worth teaching.

I occasionally man a table at nature fairs, etc., as a volunteer activity, and I'll never forget one young girl, about 11 years old, who was interested in a bird bone. She and I talked for about 15 minutes as I showed her why the inside of bird bones were very porous and holey, while human bones were not. She seemed fascinated by the discussion, but she also looked at me like she adored me just for talking to her like she was 1) a human being and 2) smart enough to learn. I think about that little girl a lot, wondering if she is doing well.

[awoke_in_2003]

51. Great post...

You said it much better than I.

[secondwind]

22. wonderful thread... she is ready to turn the page... keep in touch with her!

[struggle4progress]

34. i'll do my best, but it's really up to her

[Android3.14]

23. I've felt that as a tutor

Thanks for reminding me.

[struggle4progress]

33. it's a great feeling when it works

[another_liberal]

24. Good teachers are priceless.

You should be proud.

[Duval]

25. Wonderful! We

get back so much, when we give of ourselves. Thank you, struggle4progress.

[rurallib]

26. You are a gem! Isn't it great when the student "gets it"?

We have been doing tutoring (a variation actually) for about 8 years. Our first mentee is leaving today to become a senate page in our state capital (Des Moines)
At one time I would have been happy just to know he would graduate. But one day the lights turned on and it was time to get out of his way. Being a page is quite an honor.
- He has been in lead rolls in school plays.
- He has won a state speech contest as an HS freshman
- He will be going to Europe next summer as a member of an honors choir.
- The grades are @3.5 - not bad.

But for us it has been such a thrill to see him excel - a true thrill.

One of our others is checking in with a 4.0 as a sophomore.

One boy's father told me a couple months ago he is reading above grade level for the first time in his life - and boy is he proud. I feel so good for him.

Didn't mean to hijack your thread - it is just that helping these kids has been so fulfilling. I hope many others get a chance to help out.

[struggle4progress]

35. those are wonderful stories!

[rurallib]

37. Just finished a visit with our young man headed to Des Moines

He just took his semester test for AP American History - believes he aced it!
He and his family are headed to DM tomorrow morning. He wanted to make sure he said good bye to us.
We are so proud, as is he.

And as a senate page he is already friends with our local senators, so he will have some folks there to help him.

Got a little tear in my eye.

[struggle4progress]

38. !

[WHEN CRABS ROAR]

28. Some of the best words I've heard in a long time,

thanks for sharing.

[Fumesucker]

32. K&R

[MineralMan]

36. I used to volunteer in my small town library.

I often helped middle school kids find resources and books. I noticed one girl, about 13 or so. She was extremely shy and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. Gawky and tall, she seemed unhappy. She checked out paperback romance novels by the dozens.

I decided to make her a project, and started by just sayin Hi, in passing. Little by little she started to respond. One day, when she brought a stack of romance novels to the desk, I told her that I knew some books she might really enjoy. She followed me to the stacks, where I pulled out Little Women and Emma. She checked them out. The next week, on my volunteer day, she came in and returned them.

"Are there other books like these?" I found others, and over the next few months introduced her to a wide range of good fiction.

She's now a High School English teacher and still sends me a card at Christmas.

[struggle4progress]

39. excellent!

[MineralMan]

48. Helping kids is always a positive thing to do.

Thank you for what you're doing. It's amazing what a simple thing can do to energize a young person.

[niyad]

40. k and r--for you, and for the others on this thread, who are making a real difference in young

people's lives. my deepest thanks to all of you.

[senseandsensibility]

41. Are you a retired teacher?

I would love to be able to share my decades of experience, one on one, with individual students. As it is, I have 20-30 sudents, all with individual needs, that I must address simultaneously. Before I was a public school teacher, I did anything I could do to find a job. I tutored as one of my many part-time jobs. That was heaven for me, although I could not make a living at it. I was able to address each child as an individual. It was hard work, but it was rewarding. Teaching in today's public schools is something else altogether.

[struggle4progress]

43. Class size really matters. I taught college-level math. With a class of twelve or fifteen,

I could and did tailor lessons to individual student's abilities; but when I taught classes of thirty-five or forty, it was impossible

[Liberal_in_LA]

42. great story

[El_Johns]

44. K&R

[Iris]

46. This gave me chills!

Thanks for sharing!

[Enthusiast]

47. Kicked and recommended a whole bunch.

[catbyte]

50. Way cool

You are setting that young woman up for a lifetime of of success. You do realize that, don't you?

Awesome.

[TxDemChem]

52. That just gave me goosebumps.

I really enjoy watching young people learn, when they get a spark in their eye at some moment of great understanding. Thank you for tutoring and sharing your time and wisdom.

[Squinch]

53. YOU are changing a life. Or two. Or ten. Or a hundred.

You've thrown the pebble into the water, and the waves radiate out from it.



Life is good.