Eschaton: The One True Wanker of the Decade

[Fumesucker]

http://www.eschatonblog.com/2012/04/one-true-wanker-of-decade.html

Tom Friedman

Friedman possesses all of the qualities that make a pundit truly wankerific. He fetishizes a false "centrism" which is basically whatever Tom Friedman likes, imagining the Friedman agenda is both incredibly popular in the country and lacking any support from our current politicians, when in fact the opposite is usually true. Washington worships at the altar of the agenda of false centrism, and people often hate it. Problems abroad, even ones which really have nothing to do with us, should be solved by war, and problems at home should be solved by increasing the suffering of poor and middle class people. Even though one political party is pretty much implementing, or trying to implement, 99.999999% of the Friedman agenda, what we really need is a third party catering precisely to this silent majority of Friedmanites.

Truly great wankers possess a kind of glib narcissism, the belief that everything is about them while simultaneously disavowing any responsibility for anything. The important thing about an issue is whether it proves Tom Friedman fucking right, but if it doesn't we can just move on to the next big thing that will prove Tom Friedman fucking right. If you advocate for wars that go a bit bad, well, it's not your fault. If only Tom Friedman had been in charge everything would have been great.

Such wankers are impervious to criticism because they're always doing battle with straw critics. They never remember what they said last week, and assume you won't either.

In April 2003 Friedman said that Arab journalists who talked about the US ‘occupation’ of Iraq were guilty of ‘Saddamism’. In August 2003 Friedman wrote: ‘This is an occupation.’

In 2007 he surmised that Iraqis ‘hate each other more than they love their own kids’. In 2009 he hoped that they’d learned from America’s ‘million acts of kindness’ and ‘profound example of how much people of different backgrounds can accomplish when they work together’.

In 2005 Friedman argued: ‘We have to have a proper election in Iraq so we can have a proper civil war there.’ Earlier this year, he wrote: ‘For all of the murderous efforts by al-Qaida to trigger a full-scale civil war in Iraq, it never happened.’ Never mind that in 2006 he said: ‘It is now obvious that we are not midwifing democracy in Iraq. We are baby-sitting a civil war.’

Tom Friedman is wrong about everything, and Tom Friedman don't care!

[MADem]

1. Tom Friedman is wrong about everything, and Tom Friedman don't care!

He got that right--we've known that for eons.

I don't agree with the conclusion of the piece--most people are on to the guy and know he's an idiot who has been wrong about everything....

[Fumesucker]

8. David Brooks is another one

Like his fellow unit, Friedman, Brooks is much beloved by the totebaggers.

You know, those comfortably upper middle class types with a totebag from an NPR fund drive.

[MADem]

9. Totebaggers!!!!!

Love the term--so accurate, these days.

I'd like to stab them with their logo'd umbrellas...only I'm not terribly prone to violence!

[Egalitarian Thug]

2. Fucking worthless piece of shit. Married another fucking worthless piece of shit,

scion of a billionaire, and that is the sum total of his qualifications for anything beyond querying if you would like fries with that?

[Enthusiast]

3. I refuse to listen to a paid POS misinformationist.

[url=http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php][img][/img][/url]

[jollyreaper2112]

4. The worst part

Is that he is both a worthless piece is shit and handsomely rewarded for being a shit. He's soulless, banal, says the most idiotic things and yet is making bank. The existence and undeniable success of this asshole completely refutes belief in a just and loving god.

[90-percent]

5. Makes me nostalgic for the 2003 Iraq Invasion

And the term "Friedman Units"

-90% Jimmy

[bemildred]

6. Word. nt

[phantom power]

7. we must never forget