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Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:15 PM

Today I should have said something and didn't I am very angry with myself.

I was in a local business today having my car worked on. I overheard a conversation about one of the young men at the counter who was Hispanic. He was a very nice young man, seemed to enjoy his job and care about the customers. These two men were making some horrible racist comments. I shot them a look but ignored them. I'm always afraid they are "carrying" and would harm me.

The next time I promise to speak up, remaining silent gives them permission to be bigots!

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Reply Today I should have said something and didn't I am very angry with myself. (Original post)
redstatebluegirl Feb 2014 OP
JI7 Feb 2014 #1
elleng Feb 2014 #2
redstatebluegirl Feb 2014 #4
Warpy Feb 2014 #3
madamesilverspurs Feb 2014 #5
Hoyt Feb 2014 #6
libodem Feb 2014 #7
spanone Feb 2014 #8
Squinch Feb 2014 #9
redstatebluegirl Feb 2014 #12
MH1 Feb 2014 #15
frazzled Feb 2014 #23
Bandit Feb 2014 #24
Squinch Feb 2014 #31
madokie Feb 2014 #10
angstlessk Feb 2014 #11
Liberal_in_LA Feb 2014 #13
steve2470 Feb 2014 #14
Savannahmann Feb 2014 #16
Bandit Feb 2014 #22
treestar Feb 2014 #28
liberal_at_heart Feb 2014 #33
ladyVet Feb 2014 #17
oldhippie Feb 2014 #18
bemildred Feb 2014 #19
otohara Feb 2014 #20
pipi_k Feb 2014 #21
treestar Feb 2014 #29
Squinch Feb 2014 #32
Ikonoklast Feb 2014 #25
get the red out Feb 2014 #26
JEB Feb 2014 #27
Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2014 #30

Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:17 PM

1. i don't think you were wrong in thinking they could be armed

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:19 PM

2. You were cautious;

nothing wrong with that, and I expect the 'look' told them something.

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Response to elleng (Reply #2)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:21 PM

4. I used my Mother's look, it is the one I used to give kids who came in my office

with a bogus excuse for screwing up , I think they noticed.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:20 PM

3. It's hard to speak up

I'm too old to care what any man thinks of me so I exercise my big mouth.

However if you didn't feel safe, you were probably right to go with your gut.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:24 PM

5. My car broke down half block away

from a mechanic's garage. They came out and looked under the hood, determined what the problem was, said they could fix it for an amount I could afford. The owner of the shop called her son and asked him to buy a part and bring it to the garage. So far, so good. Then the kid arrives with the part, doesn't see me sitting there and proceeds to say to his mom, "There's a car out there with an Obama sticker. Want me to spray 'nigger lover' on it?" About that time the mechanic announces that the car is fixed. I wrote a check, then dropped their business cards (which I'd planned to recommend them with) back on the counter with a "Never mind."

Last time I drove by there, the place was all boarded up. Shucky darn.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:31 PM

6. Unfortunately, a whole lot of folks who carry arms in the city are bigots.

Last edited Mon Feb 10, 2014, 09:19 PM - Edit history (1)

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:32 PM

7. I always feel better when I do

And I admire and respect my friends when I have heard them stand up. It helps empower others when they see it demonstrated. Here's to next time. You'll be ready. And you will feel good.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:33 PM

8. people are crazy, you probably did the right thing.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:37 PM

9. What would you have said?

I'm curious, because I'm sitting here trying to think of what I would say in that situation. "Please don't talk that way" or "that is offensive" or "that is racist" seem too bland for the situation. I was trying to come up with a real zinger, but I can't think of an appropriate one. What would be a great thing to say in that situation?

But, by the way, if you had a neck tingle telling you these guys might not have been safe, you did the right thing.

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Response to Squinch (Reply #9)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:39 PM

12. I have been thinking about that I'm not sure except to say

if you want to be a bigot do it in private...but the hair was standing up on my neck so I kept my peace.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Reply #12)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 08:46 PM

15. In a similar situation, I try to be extra-nice to the person who's being slagged.

If it's obvious they are aware of the slagging, I might even say something quietly to them about ignoring the shitheads. Or I just try to joke around or otherwise distract in a pleasant way.

I think you are right to be concerned about the a**holes being armed, unfortunately. It's perfectly reasonable for you to be cautious. We need your vote for a few more elections yet!

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Response to Squinch (Reply #9)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:31 AM

23. I would have simply said ...

He seems like a very nice young man to me.

No, it probably would not shame them or change their minds (nor would it be cause for them to pull out a gun and shoot me). But I would feel better for having said it.

But the OP shouldn't beat him/herself up for not saying anything. We often can't react the way we want to on the spot.

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Response to Squinch (Reply #9)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:31 AM

24. Shame them

Shame on you for expressing such bigoted views in public. You should be ashamed of such behavior.

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Response to Bandit (Reply #24)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 05:05 PM

31. That would do it!

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:37 PM

10. As hard as it might be for you you can't be everyone in the worlds protector

In my way of thinking racist bigots assholes are the classic type of person who could or would be carrying so I'd say you did the right thing.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:39 PM

11. Mumble under your breath...then if they threaten you...SHOOT THEM

No not really...but mumbling is something you can do..and SCREW the shitbags!!!!!!!!!

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 08:40 PM

13. k&r

 

next time...

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 08:42 PM

14. I understand your apprehension

Anything can happen with *some* strangers.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Mon Feb 10, 2014, 08:58 PM

16. What can you say that would change them?

 

You could point out that Chevrolet and Ford are made in Mexico and interestingly enough the reliability ratings have increased. The problem with bigots is they are close minded, and nothing you can say will elucidate them. It would take more time than you probably have in the waiting room to make the smallest surface scratch in the wall of their ignorance.

Invest the effort where it may do some good, neighbors and associates. It's probably best to ignore the random jackass you come across.

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Response to Savannahmann (Reply #16)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:29 AM

22. I think if a person is shamed enough in public it may just change their behavior

Shame them..

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Response to Bandit (Reply #22)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 12:15 PM

28. It would let them know they are beyond the bounds of acceptable behavior

They are doing it to test that they can without getting any pushback.

Then of course they would complain of "persecution," but that just shows they are on the defensive.

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Response to Bandit (Reply #22)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 05:09 PM

33. Shaming only works(and it never really works take fat shaming for example) on people with

low self esteem. Bigots do not have low self esteems. I have several bigots in my family who would simply cuss you out and go about their business.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 10:54 AM

17. I think you were right to keep silent (at least to them).

Nothing you said would have changed their minds, and they might have been the kind to exercise their stand your ground rights. I might have said something nice to the clerk, to let him know not everyone agreed with the bigots.

You aren't obligated to risk injury or death because of insults.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:04 AM

18. I think you have to follow your conscience ....

 

... when you decide to criticize others in public. But, as you did, you also have to consider the possible consequences.

I carry a handgun pretty much whenever I leave home. I never even think of trying to criticize someone for their behavior. It never even comes up. Maybe I just don't associate with rude people?

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:06 AM

19. You might well get him fired too.

You have to pick your shots.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:08 AM

20. Racists + Guns Go Together

 

you did the right thing by keeping your mouth shut.

Study links racism, gun ownership and resistance to gun laws

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/11/01/study-links-racism-gun-ownership-and-resistance-to-gun-laws/

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:24 AM

21. Hate to be the bearer

of bad news, but do you honestly think that your saying anything at all would change their attitudes?

Especially if you would be chastising them in public.


Sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea to go around trying to correct the manners/morals/attitudes of perfect strangers.

It might make YOU feel better, but it's not going to change a damned thing. So if you're out to assuage your own sense of guilt over not speaking up, then have at it. But if you think you're going to change someone else's deep-seated beliefs by lecturing them in public, don't even waste your time.

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Response to pipi_k (Reply #21)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 12:17 PM

29. I think OP did the right thing, but here you are

not being quite sympathetic - the good it would do is that it is shown more that society doesn't accept it. If someone uses the F word in court, they will hear about it, no? It shows what the standards are. If appropriate, why not let them know they are beyond the bounds? They want to think it's OK and that's why they are doing it. To show their white dominance and prove it to themselves.

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Response to pipi_k (Reply #21)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 05:08 PM

32. I think many things have changed when we make them unacceptable.

I bet I would still be a smoker today, 15 years after I quit, if it were still a socially comfortable and acceptable thing to do.

Many things that were once acceptable are vastly reduced when we let it become known, en masse, that they are no longer acceptable.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:34 AM

25. Not smart of those two morans assuming the guy working the counter didn't hear them, too.

Sometimes an "Idiot Tax" gets added to the bills of people acting like assholes, and they never even know it.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 11:47 AM

26. I don't know what the answer is

You gave them "the look" and that is good. I'm a lot like you, I KNOW that in my area the most heavily armed people are the bigots since they live in their world of fear, ready to attack at a whim.

Sometimes I just try to make a point of showing my appreciation to a good person who is being marginalized by idiots, or at risk of such.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 12:11 PM

27. Hey, you gave them the look.

 

Having received the look many years ago in my youth from my mother, I can tell you it is a very effective form of communication. Armed idiots are still idiots. My mother could quiet a noisy classroom with her look.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)

Tue Feb 11, 2014, 12:21 PM

30. I'll always remember the one time I heard "n**r" directed at a black person by a white in anger.

I was walking in the parking lot of my local grocery store and I see a white woman in a car, with the window open. A black woman was standing outside by the car window, and I heard it, clear as day: "You n***r!"

And I immediately could tell that it was being said in an angry--and not joking--context. I have no idea what the argument was about, but I knew there was hatred behind it.

I remember being in shock. Something in my mind wanted me to go up to the woman and say something, but I just remember being shocked at what I heard. Because I had never heard it before in my life said like that, outside of the movies. I'd heard the word before, including by white people to describe black people, but I'd never heard it actually being directed to a black person by a white person.

And by the time the shock had lifted, the woman had driven off. But I often fantasize about going up to that woman and giving her a piece of my mind for what she said. It was disgusting.

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