Noah movie too different to our made up Noah story, claim Christian groups

[dipsydoodle]

Hollywood blockbuster Noah is to be edited before release after Christian groups insisted that the made up story about Noah’s ark was different to their made up story about Noah’s ark.

With the Noah movie due for release later this month, Christian groups petitioned for changes to be made to ensure that all the made up bits are consistent with their favourite made up bits.

Christian Simon Williams told us, “We are insistent that made up depictions of things that never happened are inline with the fictional versions we think are important.”

“You can’t just go around making up things about things that were made up. It’s essential that the made up bits we read about in our book are the same as the made up bits we see on the big screen.”

http://newsthump.com/2014/03/11/noah-movie-too-different-to-our-made-up-noah-story-claim-christian-groups/

[malaise]

1. Bwaaaaaaah hahahahah

Yah think?

[Berlum]

31. This picture proves Noah was fleeing Atlantis

The TaliBornAgains don't want anyone to know...

[malaise]

32. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahaha

Yah think?

[ellenfl]

2. lol! eom

[hobbit709]

3. Maybe it's closer to the original story.

You know, the Babylonian version that the ancient Hebrews filed off the serial numbers and then claimed as their own.

[WolverineDG]

40. since there were many groups in that area & most of them were nomads

intermarrying with each other, the story most likely WAS their own.

[Blus4u]

4. So the UK has it's version

of the Onion too, huh!

Peace

[xchrom]

5. !

[DetlefK]

6. I'm still waiting for a movie about king Salomo and his 700 wives.

"You really gonna wear that?"
"We don't really talk anymore."
"Is she prettier than me?"

[Xyzse]

15. DUUUUUUDDDDDDEEEEEE!!!!

I am Sooooo going to pitch that.

[DetlefK]

16. "Btw, your 700 mothers-in-law are coming over."

[Xyzse]

18. As long as they don't bring the sisters...

It would balloon the harem exponentially.

[deutsey]

55. I'd like to see this tidbit from Mark's Gospel worked into a movie about Jesus

When he's arrested and his disciples desert him, the Gospel writer provides this odd detail:

51 A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, 52 he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.

[mountain grammy]

7. News Thump, hahaha.. love it. Thanks for the introduction.

[dipsydoodle]

10. Other UK's here

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/ .............which started 25 October 1961 !

[mountain grammy]

17. Great, thanks for the links.

[rrneck]

8. Apparently he's not sufficiently badass..

[dipsydoodle]

13. Looks like a wannabe Thor.

[Amaril]

50. With hammer envy.

[PatSeg]

9. Whose brilliant idea was it

to make a movie about Noah in the first place? A cartoon maybe, but a full length feature film? Crazy.

[Bluenorthwest]

11. Darren Aronoffsky, whose films are of excellent quality

Requiem For a Dream, Pi, Black Swan.....

[PatSeg]

19. Interesting

That makes the story of Noah even an odder choice. Maybe he saw something in that story I didn't. I always found it boring and silly.

[LisaLynne]

23. The only thing I could see ...

is that maybe one could do something with the pre-Flood angst. Everybody thinking you were crazy while you know everybody is going to die. Sort of a Cassandra thing.

[PatSeg]

25. Perhaps

Being they've edited the movie to placate the Christians, we may never see exactly what the director had in mind. Meanwhile, the movie is getting its fair share of free publicity.

[Bjorn Against]

29. The only part of the movie Aronofsky did not have in mind is the disclaimer

The movie is pretty much exactly as Aronofsky envisioned it with the exception of the disclaimer that was edited in at the beginning of the film. The studio tried to edit his film in different ways by shifting scenes around and Aronofsky raised hell about it, Aronofsky won the battle for the most part and it is his original cut that will be shown in theaters although it will have the disclaimer attached.

Aronofsky is quite upset about having the disclaimer and I don't blame him, it is stupid to have to tell people that a fictional movie is not based on historical events. Aronofsky is not a religious man, he describes himself as Godless which I am sure is a big part of the reason the fundies are up in arms about this movie, but it is also the reason that I as an atheist will be buying a ticket to the movie because I know I will not be preached to.

[PatSeg]

39. Well, that is reassuring then

If the fundies don't like the way the movie was made, they don't have to go see it. I find the disclaimer rather amusing though.

[Bluenorthwest]

42. The 'edit' reported is the addition of a disclaimer

which reads "The film is inspired by the story of Noah. While artistic license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values, and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Noah can be found in the book of Genesis.”

The actual film has not been altered, that addition is an edit and plenty offensive in and of itself, but that's the entire edit as it stands.

[dipsydoodle]

12. Story comes from Babylon in what is now Iraq.

Babylonian tablet shows how Noah's ark could have been constructed http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/jan/24/babylonian-tablet-noah-ark-constructed-british-museum

And its a good an excuse any to post :

[amuse bouche]

14. Just more proof

that religion should be categorized as a mental illness

[Damansarajaya]

20. Actually, the story of Noah's ark is in the Hebrew Bible.

Somehow, making fun of Jews just isn't that funny, is it.

[dipsydoodle]

21. Which may have copied it from elsewhere.

Epic of Gilgamesh for example.

[Damansarajaya]

22. Correct. And the story of the Good Samaritan is from Buddhist scripture.

What's your point? That the Bible shouldn't be taken literally like a history book?

File that one under "No Doubt".

[Warren DeMontague]

26. Joseph did not actually have a technicolor dreamcoat, and Jesus Christ wasn't really a superstar.

People take liberties with Bible Stories. Big fucking deal.

[Damansarajaya]

41. Wow, I see why arguments get so heated so fast around here now.

People don't actually respond what the poster says, but what they THINK the poster said.

I don't have a problem with Bible stories being "fictionalized." They're fictionalized already. But that doesn't make them less true.

Shakespeare wrote fiction, but he wrote some of the truest stories ever told.

[Warren DeMontague]

43. "They're fictionalized already. But that doesn't make them less true."

That's.... beautiful, man.

Yeah, I suppose you can't get less true once you're already not true.

[Damansarajaya]

46. "When the fool hears of the Great Tao, he laughs." Lao Tsu

I see how it works now, you (wrongly) ridicule me for believing that Bible stories are literally true. And when I say that I don't believe they are literally true, you ridicule me for that.

"I do desire that we may be better strangers." (Shakespeare)

[Warren DeMontague]

49. Ah, but if you really understood Lao Tsu, you'd know that ridicule is high praise, indeed.

Anyway, there was a guy who understood that brevity is the source of wisdom, as well as wit. (cough. Bible guys, I'm talking to you)

As for the Bible... look, man, it's not Shakespeare. (Who also has had his stuff radically re-interpreted by Hollywood) While it certainly contains some interesting material, it reads like something written by a committee, some of whom have a real tenuous grasp on continuity and linear narrative.

I am glad you understand the the stories in there are not literally true, I also think with many of them the vaunted "timeless moral message" is a bit overrated, as well. To wit, one can find "Biblical" justification for just about any heinous behavior, from infanticide to slavery, if one looks in the right place. So if there's some unassailable bright moral core to all these stories, I fully admit I don't grok most of them.

And Noah-- nope, not really seeing it there, either. The point being that JHVH is like an erratic, abusive parent who goes overboard (excuse the pun) but then swears not to do it again?

I think whatever it is that story is supposed to represent to the Sunday School set, will survive Hollywood and Russell Crowe.

[Damansarajaya]

61. Thanks for the high praise, then. nt

[pipi_k]

53. Shakespeare did write fiction...

and some of it may have been some of the truest stories ever told...

But...

it doesn't take an extreme contortion of reality to imagine they're true.

[Damansarajaya]

59. Right. Like when Bottom has his head changed into an ass? nt

[unblock]

57. his stories have been retold with many details changed, e.g., "west side story"

ok, maybe they're "true stories" in the sense that he made everything up but so many people can relate.

but that doesn't mean we should necessarily be slavish towards every detail when retelling the story.

updated versions of Shakespearean plays are certainly legitimate and add to his legacy.

[Damansarajaya]

60. Is that some kind of refutation?

I completely agree with that.

[hatrack]

44. See also: "Demille, Cecil B.

.

[knitter4democracy]

38. And many First Nations peoples have a flood story as well.

The Quechua do with a llama leading all the animals to a mountain to safety while the entire earth floods. The Navajo do as part of their creation myths. There's a Chinese flood myth, too.

The reality, the flood myth with many of the same details exists in many different cultures in different areas of the world.

[Damansarajaya]

48. So many peoples around the globe believe in a world of the Spirit.

Those who reject such thinking out of hand run counter to a tradition that is as old as human-kind itself.

[snooper2]

58. "a world of the spirit"

Is that made up of atoms?

[knitter4democracy]

64. True, but we don't know why so many believe, though, do we?

I honestly think there's something almost genetic about it, that some of us are born to believe no matter what happens and some are born not to no matter what happens.

[Damansarajaya]

66. Aye, verily. I like your avatar image.

Are you of Russian descent?

[knitter4democracy]

67. No, but I'm Russian Orthodox.

I converted after college.

[Hippo_Tron]

65. No it's not, because Jews don't proselytize

And the ones who are actually most inclined to believe that stuff (Ultra-orthodox Jews) really really tend to keep to themselves.

[npk]

24. I'm waiting for the Christians to explain how every species of animal on earth today fit on the Ark.

There are over 8 million different species of animals on earth today, and somehow they all managed to fit with Noah and his family on the ark. I mean since Christians don't believe in evolution and natural selection then every animal species on earth today, not to mention the species that have since gone extinct, would have to have been present on the ark at the time of the biblical flood.

[dipsydoodle]

27. They were smaller then - maybe only as big as newts.

Tiny in fact same my mi......nute.

[Warpy]

34. Right, they were all fetal animals stuffed into amphorae and kept alive on wine.

and if there's anything one of these "Christians" loves, it's a fetus.

[Damansarajaya]

47. Fundamentalists believe in the literal truth of the Bible.

Most Christians are not fundamentalists. They see these stories as myths -- parables, with inherent truths embedded within them.

[Arugula Latte]

56. It's sort of funny, though.

A lot of Christians will say, well, things like the six-day creation and the Noah story are parables, but Jesus really was resurrected. The Jesus-came-back-to-life-and-will-return-to-Earth-one-day myth is the very basis of the religion. In most of their sects, you need to accept that in order to be a "Christian." I just don't understand how you can say X, Y, and Z in the Bible are myths, but the story about Jesus reflects reality. How do you make that mental leap? Yeah, I know ... "faith." But it's interesting how "faith" applies to some parts, but not others. It's all very selective.

[Damansarajaya]

63. And if it weren't selective, Christians would be uncritical

and slavish.

[Warpy]

28. Ow, my brain hurts

[maced666]

30. Boy good thing Christians can take a joke!

Wish the Muslim community was as forgiving.

[gulliver]

33. High concept mass murder fantasy by proxy.

It's got family, animals, miracles, and you get to think it would be you on the boat while all the other people drown. If a kid today wrote the story for an English class, he would be under police surveillance.

[Bjorn Against]

35. This is a Darren Aronofsky film, I suspect it will be as dark as you suggest

This is made by the guy who directed Requiem for a Dream, if you have not seen that movie it is one of the darkest and most emotionally intense movies ever made. I suspect Aronofsky's vision of Noah will not be the old man with giraffes on his boat they teach in Sunday school classes, Aronofsky's movies are very dark and I am sure he won't gloss over the mass death that is taking place. Aronofsky is not a fundie, I don't expect him to sugar coat this story.

[gulliver]

36. Whoa. Didn't know it was him.

I may actually go. I loved Requiem.

[Bjorn Against]

37. Yeah, he is the reason I am interested in the movie as well

I am an atheist and would normally have no interest in a Biblical movie, but with Aronofsky at the helm I expect this will not be your typical Bible movie.

[hrmjustin]

45. I won't go and see u0it but thats because I just don't want to bother with it.

Not my type of movie.

[Cleita]

51. One small detail the fundies forget.

Noah was pre-Christian, maybe even pre-Jewish.

[Historic NY]

52. Personally I thought.. Evan Almighty.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Evan_almightymp1.jpg

was spot on good...

[npk]

62. That's exactly how I pictured it going down

Plus Morgan Freeman is always how I pictured god would look.

[pipi_k]

54. But what I want to know

is this:

Are both made up versions in agreement about...

????