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Sat Apr 5, 2014, 12:51 PM

 

NSA Offers Free Unlimited Talk and Text, 6 Million Apologists Sign Up

WASHINGTON – NSA, the nation’s largest provider of voice and text services, announced today that 6 million people have signed up for NSA’s HearYouNow ™ plan, far below initial estimates. Struggling to overcome a disastrous product launch, NSA lowered its monthly rate to zero, hoping to attract the large pool of mentally healthy subscribers needed to offset program costs.

However, apologists say NSA’s program has been welcome relief from privacy and free speech. “I couldn’t find a plan that would send all my data to NSA without paying extra costs,” according to Ruth Vinaigrette, apologist from Wichita Falls, Texas. “Signing up was easy to do and my friends and family are covered automatically,” she said.




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Arrow 10 replies Author Time Post
Reply NSA Offers Free Unlimited Talk and Text, 6 Million Apologists Sign Up (Original post)
pragmatic_dem Apr 2014 OP
MannyGoldstein Apr 2014 #1
IDemo Apr 2014 #2
frylock Apr 2014 #3
reACTIONary Apr 2014 #6
lumberjack_jeff Apr 2014 #4
20score Apr 2014 #5
reACTIONary Apr 2014 #7
jtuck004 Apr 2014 #8
jmowreader Apr 2014 #9
Laelth Apr 2014 #10

Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 12:59 PM

1. K&R! This program cuts out the telcos as middle men

 

and passes the savings to us.

Truly, this is a common-sense program that we can all get behind.

@#$% Snowden,

Third-Way Manny

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 01:14 PM

2. Don't give them any ideas, please n/t

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 01:15 PM

3. what kind of data plan is offered?

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Response to frylock (Reply #3)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 03:15 PM

6. It's a "cloud based service", but...

... the terms and conditions are classified!

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 01:21 PM

4. I'm not sure that it's worth $50/month to hire Sprint to act as the middleman.

 

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 02:52 PM

5. Well done!

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 03:16 PM

7. DUzzy ! (nt)

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 03:17 PM

8. And unlike the telecos, NSA includes archiving all your conversations and data in case you

 

might need them again someday.

None of the telcos can top that.

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 03:37 PM

9. All kidding aside...

NSA does ultra-high-reliability communications better than anyone.

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Response to pragmatic_dem (Original post)

Sat Apr 5, 2014, 04:43 PM

10. k&r for brilliant satire. n/t

-Laelth

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