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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDear DU
Dear DU: After six months, I have been released to the next level of care. Denial has been my go-to emotion for too long and it's been tough for me to see and acknowledge what would be glaringly apparent to a blind person. I watched my descent into depression over a period of about two years, cognizant of the warning signs but reduced to a spectator, culminating in my complete withdrawal. I stopped returning phone calls and answering emails. Ultimately I stopped eating. I took in all the pain and cruelty and ugliness of this world, and I just wanted it to stop. I don't think I thought it out any further than that.
Truthfully, this is a bit humiliating for me and I had my son delete his OP to that end. I just want you to know how grateful I am for the generosity and goodwill of this community. In a weird twist, out of the blue I was contacted and offered a good job by the partner of someone I met almost two years ago at a social event. Just know you saved my bacon, DU. No doubt about it, and I am grateful.
I am learning to compartmentalize heart-wrenching triggers for me --- war, bigotry, factory farming, and the rampant gun culture in the US. When I start feeling the pain pitch a tent in my head again, I have learned to move to something else like walking Seven (now huge lipomatous mass-free thanks to DU), recreational reading, etc., and I can feel the release physically and emotionally. I feel I'm getting a better handle on my life.
The generosity of this community, the kindness and concern for others, was like a light that shone all the way to the depths of my deep funk and lit the path to my recovery. I'm still a bit fragile (so I'm told) and have to take care in what I take in (also what I'm told), but I am on the mend and look forward to participating again at some point when I'm given the green light.
So, for now, #BringBackOurGirls 4real and hooray for Idaho and all the other red states that are paving the way to marriage equality. Clearly I can't live with the ugliness of this world so I've committed to changing it in whatever way I can through truth and love and all that good stuff.
Cheers, DU. See you soon.

Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)

yewberry
(6,530 posts)Keep doing positive things & keep your head up.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)
MoonRiver
(36,974 posts)
Le Taz Hot
(22,271 posts)if there's anything we can do.
ETA: Just to let you know, many of us, including myself, have been through that deep, dark tunnel known as Depression. Just know, you are not alone and many of us are able to empathize from personal experience.
PumpkinAle
(1,210 posts)For you and all on DU who care
Kath1
(4,309 posts)Peace, love, truth and happiness! Try to stay positive!
BeyondGeography
(40,161 posts)Be well. Lots of people here really care about you.
myrna minx
(22,772 posts)we are always here for you and yours.
Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)

Sissyk
(12,665 posts)
ProSense
(116,464 posts)Glad that you're healing. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Take care of yourself.
Whisp
(24,096 posts)
hunter
(39,250 posts)... the first thing I lose is my ability to judge my own mental state.
For that I must rely on family and friends.
I'm fortunate to have some good ones, even a few internet friends I've never met in person.
Take care of yourself.
LoisB
(9,414 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)I think many struggle with dealing with the large numbers of problems we are facing as citizens, as a species, etc. I know that I do. We must realize that we have to do what we can and try to let the rest go. It's easier for me to say than do. DU is a great help as I can vent some of my frustrations with others in the same boat and work toward fixes.
I am glad you are doing better.
Hekate
(96,119 posts)
I'm so glad you're doing better.
blackspade
(10,056 posts)TexasTowelie
(118,778 posts)As someone who also suffers from depression you have my sincerest hopes that you continue on your recovery. However, please come in to check on us every once in awhile.
Skidmore
(37,364 posts)I was wondering about you recently. Take care of yourself and use all the time you need to heal. It sounds like you have a plan to follow. ((AK))
spanone
(138,157 posts)villager
(26,001 posts)But, in such times, we also need "all hands on deck," so glad you're doing better, taking care, and checking in!
brer cat
(26,772 posts)Remember, the porch light is always on here.
KT2000
(21,167 posts)I must say your post is beautifully written, so thank you for the post and update.
badtoworse
(5,957 posts)Think small for now. Focus on making your own world, that of your friends and family, and your community a better place. The world is a big assignment and you need to be stronger before you take that on.
I wish you peace and happiness.
struggle4progress
(121,384 posts)Jack Rabbit
(45,984 posts)The think that I find most important is to take my meds as directed. Putting some omega 3 in your diet helps, too, so I hope you like fish.
elleng
(138,101 posts)
Algernon Moncrieff
(5,961 posts)It is good that you are mending. Take care of yourself.
Metatron
(1,260 posts)
herding cats
(19,658 posts)Sometimes we all need to let go of the bad and focus on finding the good.
Keep up the good work.
JI7
(91,317 posts)i'm glad you are doing well and improving.
i find being able to get away and just do things like read a book helps also.
iamthebandfanman
(8,127 posts)youre not alone
so always remember that.
the worries, problems, and just plane ole ugliness of the world gets to a lot of us at some point in our lives..
its called having a grasp on reality, whether you like it or not
because guess what.. the world IS cruel and backwards a lot of the times...
but oh man o man.. those few sweet moments of happiness and eyes wide open to the beauty all around you... worth all the depression that usually dominates.
again, know you aren't alone and never will be in how you feel just remember to keep enjoying those rare beautiful and wonderful moments and cherish them when life is really giving you heavy doses of reality
glad to hear things are on the up for ya.. and hope they continue that way
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)mountain grammy
(27,528 posts)calimary
(85,169 posts)So glad to hear you're getting better and feeling better! I always think of something Skittles once said - "someone's always here." DU will buoy you up!
HUGS!!!!!
Liberalynn
(7,549 posts)As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time, I understand.
RainDog
(28,784 posts)
MrScorpio
(73,748 posts)Always take care
Cha
(307,182 posts)Love you! Your journey is written so eloquently.. I'm so glad you've come such a long way out of the depths of depression to getting ready to tackle whatever "through truth, love and all that good stuff".
You're an inspiration, sweetie~
Peace, Love, and Aloha, Cha
totodeinhere
(13,521 posts)japple
(10,435 posts)the world upon your shoulders..." So happy to read that you are on the mend. I don't get involved in the discussions around here very much--too much of the histrionics for me. Just know that we need you, not just here on DU, but in the world, in the community, in the party (at the party!!) in the neighborhood, in the group of folks who want the world to be a better place.
Take care.
Uncle Joe
(60,687 posts)I'm happy that you're doing better.
Thanks for the thread, AtomicKitten...speaking of kittens here's a cat attacking a dog to protect the son of his/her master.
I believe this cat was definitely atomic.
840high
(17,196 posts)WillyT
(72,631 posts)


Peace...
pnwmom
(109,720 posts)We're all pulling for you.
Maven
(10,533 posts)i have been to that dark place too and it takes so much strength to return. you have shown great dignity with this post. be well.
Demo_Chris
(6,234 posts)niyad
(122,093 posts)better. loving, healing, positive thoughts continuing your way as long as needed.
looking forward to seeing you back here as soon as you can.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)I'm sorry I missed your threads; I would have liked to have given support too. I know about Depression. I know that feeling to, when the sufferings of the world (and the animals and environment; those are big for me too) are just too much to bear. Our emotional baseline is already set to *Pain*.
Glad you're working on recovery!
Leith
(7,856 posts)Although it may not seem like it, others have gone through similar experiences. I have.
The world is getting better. It only seems irredeemable because we hear about bad things happening everywhere. Yes, life has sadness, but there's great joy as well. Please take time to acknowledge the good.
Don't ever forget: no matter the time, day or night, somebody is here for you. Online friends helped me through bad times and we can do it for you.
Hugs!
Raine1967
(11,626 posts)I wish you all the very best.
My your recovery continue. Sending you love and light, and a sincere thank you for sharing.
Iwillnevergiveup
(9,298 posts)Your very presence in the world does more good than you know.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)I realized recently I needed to do more filtering in my daily life and spend more time on things that I love. I too was feeling pangs of depression over so many things not within my control. So the more control I took over my time, introducing more joy into my days and blocking out some of the things that were causing me to experience sadness started little by little to heal me.
I think you are a wonderful DU'er and I am happy to see you are turning things around for yourself. Congratulations, and I hope you keep everyone posted.
Sam
babylonsister
(171,814 posts)I can't tell you how nice it is to see you again! I'm sorry for all of your travails, but am so glad you're feeling and doing better, and look forward to your return! Hugh!1! for you!
emsimon33
(3,128 posts)Good news is always welcome!!!!
riqster
(13,986 posts)One of the most important things we can do for others is to work on ourselves.
ctsnowman
(1,903 posts)
gademocrat7
(11,300 posts)merrily
(45,251 posts)You got out of denial, got treated, identified your triggers and identified coping mechanisms. AND, you committed to making the world better.
Fantastic. I admire you so much for doing all of that. And you getting stronger and stronger.
Very best wishes. I look forward to learning more about your process and how you are doing.
Sometimes, people take a step or two back. Don't worry if that happens It will only be temporary. And, DU will be here.
mopinko
(72,153 posts)it is a peaceful and open little oasis in a busy urban hood.
it is already covered in green, tho i havent started to plant. raspberries and strawberries are running for more room, and the little bit fruit trees are blooming.
you can grab a warm handful of feathers, and sit with a chicken in your lap, in the shade of the house yard.
my life is pretty cracked open right now, and my little farm is my connection to the planet, and to my community.
you would be sooo welcome.
hit my sig link, and come visit.
Eleanors38
(18,318 posts)CrispyQ
(39,029 posts)
dionysus
(26,467 posts)


badtoworse
(5,957 posts)These are some great kids.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024959073