"I'm used to massacres. Whatevs."

[kpete]

MON MAY 26, 2014 AT 01:39 PM PDT
"I'm used to massacres. Whatevs."
by brooklynbadboy

That's a direct quote from a 14 year old family member this Memorial Day. Needless to say, we adults were shocked at the callousness displayed by my cousin's son. But in reality, we adults are to blame. Furthermore, the approving nods from the other youth present served as kind of indictment, as they were quick to point out. "We're not in charge. Ya'll are!" Left speechless, we could do nothing but look at each other with shame. The Constitution was brought up, and that sparked derisive laughter as if the document itself were a sarcastic joke.

This is what we as Americans have become, a group of people who have come to accept massacre and mass murder as a way of life. So much so that our children now feel that this it is perfectly normal to expect that at any moment their young lives could be cut down at random. Massacres are nothing new in America. What is new is how incredibly tolerant we've become after witnessing it time and time again. We can do nothing about this, we tell them. This is the price of freedom, we tell them. Just a few crazy people, we tell them.

And so, this brings our youth to the point of 'whatevs' or 'whatever, I don't care.' We have set up massive, well funded bureaucracies in every state for the protection of children from abuse. But a massacre? Well, we tell them they'll just have to get used to it. If this boy is indicative, they have.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/05/26/1302135/--I-m-used-to-massacres-Whatevs

[Skidmore]

1. We are all to blame in this culture.

And we are particularly to blame for the coarsening and degrading of our interpersonal relationships. And I firmly believe that technology has something to do with it. It is so much easier to talk with your thumbs than it is to look someone in the eyes and learn to understand their human need. It is so much easier to trust that a weapon will serve in place of learning interpersonal skills. It is ever so much easier to learn problems solving via real time gaming than it is to gain the skill of evaluating a set of facts and acting calmly. Teched out and with fight/flight instincts on steroids. Busy pursuing a fleeting vision of wealth and trying to buy the image, we have forgotten how to look to each other and within ourselves.

[theHandpuppet]

7. Good post

Worthy of a thread of its own.

[Neoma]

13. *sigh* I disagree, at least for my own case.

I was essentially in isolation for most of my teenage life, and the only source of contact other than my immediate family was through the internet, which if anything, helped me more with interpersonal skills when I did end up around other people. I met a lot of good friends, and eventually my husband. It saved me. I joke that I wasn't raised by wolves, but the internet, but it's not really a laughing matter for me.

[Skidmore]

15. I understand what you are saying but there are so many people who do not treat

this technology as something to assist with prosocial behavior but use it to bludgeon and belittle others. How many instances of bullying via technology do we see in the news? I understand that having little contact with others is sometimes necessitated by circumstances and I'm happy that you were fortunate enough to use your devices to gain the contact you needed. What I am addressing are those who substitute the device for interaction when the person they are communicating with is sitting right next to them. That happens quite a bit.

[Neoma]

19. Sitting next to?

I mainly do that to tell my husband to remind him to tell someone something or to ask to find an opening to leave somewhere.

I've been fully intergrated with technology and the people around me who use it for a very long time. The only thing I ask is that you don't completely stereotype my generation as being cruel and desensitized just because they use technology. There's good people here.

[icarusxat]

20. Behaviors are learned...

We have been failing our youth in teaching them how to use the internet and social media. When that dawned on me, I began teaching my children, as my mother taught me, how to be cordial in communicating with others. She would look over my shoulder and offer coaching in how to write a thank you note. Dear Grandma etc. love, your grandson... nice is contagious. I asked my students to write something nice to everyone in the class. They did. As the moderator for our class web site I got to (not had to) read every post every night. A year later, just about every student sent me notes on our social media site telling me that they liked my class, thanking me, and making me feel like I might have made a difference...teach your children well...

[japple]

14. Bless you, Skidmore for posting what I have been thinking. People are so afraid to communicate

anymore. I enjoy connecting with people--the cashiers at Kroger, my coworkers, people in the elevator, folks in the doctor's waiting room, etc. I don't think I'm a busybody, but everywhere I go now, there are people looking at their devices, checking their messages, playing games, and no one seems to want to connect with others. Is it that they are not comfortable out of their circle of friends/family/acquaintances?

I like talking with the folks at the (local, not big box) hardware store, the plant nursery, the vet's office, the library. They give great information, suggestions, advice. I am happy that I live in a small community where this is still possible. I don't want to live in a world where no one will look you in the eye because they are glued to their own little device's version of reality.

[MisterP]

2. guess it's part of Third-Worldization: if you're always on the lookout for concrete bollards

or planters or car engine blocks to duck behind at the mall or at the candy shop or the kitchenware outlet when It happens, if there's guys running around with Bushmasters "in casea trouble goin' down," then everyone's forced into the logic of just-under-the-surface domestic warfare (or something): it's a police state without the uniform, IOW

[Skidmore]

8. Not Third-Worldization, but the illness of a First World nation

stuck on itself.

[Spider Jerusalem]

3. And this is another reason why sensible gun laws won't ever happen.

Americans have become desensetised to the effects of violence by repetition. Every fortnight, it seems like, there's another mass shooting in the headlines, somewhere. It's like the weather. Everyone talks about it, mostly to shrug and say "but what can you do?"

[avebury]

10. That plus society is not standing up to the NRA

to demand responsible changes in gun laws.

[LittleBlue]

4. Why socialize the actions of a madman?

Short of ridding society of guns, there's nothing we can do. And that isn't constitutional. Someone tried to get this guy help and he reportedly rejected it.

Truth is, if someone is hellbent on killing a lot of people, there isn't much society can do about it.

[Crunchy Frog]

9. Whatevs.

[zeemike]

16. Why socialize violence?

And yet we do...we glorify war and no movie is a blockbuster without a lot of violence...even science fiction is all about war and violence...and seldom about science.
What de sensitize people and particularly children is constantly being exposed to it...and we do that for entertainment...really no different than Rome and the gladiator games....just that you can view it in the privacy of your own home all day long.

That is something we can change, but likely will not because it has become a part of entertainment and people don't want to give it up.

Now I will wait while I am castigated for saying it.

[mbperrin]

21. And the endless hours of video gaming,

all of the most popular ones are first person shooter games.

I've had more than one student not complete a class project because they "had" to get online for gaming.

[nomorenomore08]

27. You shouldn't be "castigated." Because violent entertainment certainly reflects a violent society.

My only quibble would be to reverse the cause and effect there a bit.

I agree that there should be more to film than just mindless violence - plot, characterization, all these things that seem to have been lost somewhat, in contemporary times. And I am a fan of Kubrick, Scorsese etc. so it's not as if I object to violent content per se.

[KT2000]

5. he expressed a new normal

which will also increase the number of massacres. Whatever the children today are growing up with will become the new normal unless it is actively fought against.

[Jefferson23]

6. We own this violent culture, all of it.

The National Rifle Association goes to great lengths (and spends a huge sum of money) to defend the right to bear arms. It is opposed to virtually every form of gun regulation, including restrictions on owning assault weapons, retention of databases of gun purchases, background checks on purchasers at gun shows and changes in the registration of firearms.

https://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/summary.php?id=D000000082

Unless we demand better, it will remain that way.

[heaven05]

11. exactly where the PTB want us

how very, very sad. Money in the pockets of our senators and representatives, given by the gun lobby, has brought us to this. geez

[napkinz]

12. ...

[icarusxat]

17. Duck and Cover...

at 15 I learned that not every thunderstorm was WWIII. Granted, mass destruction is not the same as carnage in the classroom, but we have been exposed to so much fear that at some point you either become numb or run away to live in a cave.

Perspective for those who are new here, I am an Air Force veteran, and now I am a middle school teacher. The "I don't care" attitude is a cover for "how do I deal with this" feeling way down deep, not a callous response, it is more of a cry for help...

[treestar]

26. this is true

I grew up with that. But I think we didn't really believe it was going to happen. Whereas being in a school shooting is a lot scarier. The nuclear threat was from far away. A school intruder would be scarier, more local. I understand they have drills for that now. We had fire drills and "civil defense" drills (as if sitting down and putting our hands over our heads was going to save us from an atomic bomb).

[smallcat88]

18. Can't really blame the kids

This is what the society they're growing up in has taught them. Even worse? Polls show most of us want stricter gun laws, even most NRA members. The chronic inaction on this issue is due to a very small but very loud minority who are just pawns of gun manufacturers.

[BobTheSubgenius]

22. Signs of the times....

...increasingly more desperate times for many, if not most.

In a very similar vein to the quote that prompted this post, I saw some corner boys being interviewed, and the interviewer seemed genuinely nonplussed at the matter-of-fact way these young men talked about dealing drugs on a street corner, and being armed 100% of the time.

When asked about his plans for the future - as in..."this is NO way to live, bud" - one boy was equally as matter-of-fact when his answer was that his future didn't weigh on him, because he didn't expect to have one. He was convinced he would be dead before the age of 21.

[tea and oranges]

23. Something

One of our most persistent cultural myths, therefore invisible, is that of vengeance. Think of the plots of movies & tv shows. We glorify those, mostly male, who get revenge. We are not a culture of justice, we seek the get back. Do you remember the blood lust in the air after 9/11? People wanted to kick ass. The administration wanted to make money off war. Woo hoo. The rest, as they say, is an ongoing bloody mess.

So our "losers" (and who decided we could divide people into such crass, disgusting categories?) feel elevated into some archetypal American hero when they pick up a gun & take revenge.

Let us rather have justice! Let our movies, television shows reflect the wisdom & maturity of making calm rational decisions, of talking through problems, let us praise those who wage peace.

And while we're at it, of course we must have sensible gun laws.

This is only getting more sickening post-Sandy Hook. Maybe mixed in w/ some ptsd.

[paleotn]

24. Can't blame them for their view of The Constitution....

....thanks to the NRA and the gun nuts, it's become a suicide pact. Their irrational fears have become a self fulfilling prophecy.

[GeorgeGist]

25. That 'Shining City upon a Hill' ...

is really a well-polished turd.

[Leme]

28. media pretty much hypes everything

They use basically the same voice if 1 is shot, or 10 killed... if it gets on the air. The 1 getting shot might get more time if there is video. Crying/ great emotion gets a lot of airtime.
-
If everything is of great importance... whatevs

[riderinthestorm]

29. Reminds me of Michael Moore's quote in response to this tragedy.

[lunasun]

30. +1