Street scenes - Have we Americans become this insular, fearful, disconnected or isolated?

[pinto]

Purely a random, personal observation.

I live in a town favored by many tourists, either passing through for a day or here for a week or so. July and August are prime time. Europeans, Asians, Australians, etc. come in to town on their vacations. Many walk about our small downtown. There's a range of good food, coffees, fresh produce, wine and a varied nightlife.

I walk about as well. A lot. We often pass on the street. I say, "Hello. Good morning, How are you. Nice day, no?" or some such. Always there's a response - a smile, a nod, a "yes it really is" or a simple hello.

Locals, not so much. Those I know say hey, which is cool. It's a small town. Yet generally any eye contact seems to be avoided. A simple hello is passed by. The sidewalk and some music device in an ear appear to be the focus.

So, they probably didn't hear my passing greeting at all.

pinto aging...

[NYC_SKP]

1. In my experience, it varies widely from place to place, neighborhood to neighborhood.

Generally, in some circles there's that "keep your eyes to yourself" thing going on. Downtown SF, NY subways, and the wealthier resorts.

I often think of the contrast between Kaanapali and old town Lahaina because we spent 5 days downtown, scruffy and another 5 at the resort.

Walking every morning, greetings were common downtown. At the resort, they were conspicuously absent.

It doesn't strike me as a new thing.

But the kids on my lawn are really getting me down!

[pinto]

2. I love small downtowns. And lived in Boston for a time. Loved it as well.

It's different everywhere.

And tell those kids to get off your lawn, dammit!

[awoke_in_2003]

6. "But the kids on my lawn are really getting me down!"

Well, put an onion on your belt and yell at a cloud

[NYC_SKP]

7. Oh for cripes' sake... THAT DOESN'T WORK!!!

the new kids, with their googles and cellphones and eyepads, they're IMPERVIOUS to the onions!!!

[awoke_in_2003]

8. damn kids and their smart phones

[madamesilverspurs]

3. Years ago, there was a really good article

about how we're losing the sense of neighborhood. It was attributed in part to an increasingly mobile population, moving from place to place with such frequency that roots couldn't be put down. The suggestion was (and I am definitely paraphrasing, here; it was a long time back) that we stopped saying a meaningful "hello" because we didn't want to say the eventual "good bye". No, I don't remember the name of the publication, just that it was a magazine, about 1985, maybe.

By living in the same neighborhood until I was 16, I do have memories of a sense of community that my younger siblings didn't get to experience; after that first move, Dad's company moved him every two or three years. When I was a kid, if a new family moved in two blocks away the whole neighborhood showed up; Edie always brought fresh cookies, Sandy did casseroles, Mary would wait until dinner time and show up with a pitcher of martinis; dads would come by after dinner, and they and the new guy would compare lawnmowers and swap information about fertilizers and who had what power tools if you needed to borrow -- by the time the new kids got home from their first day of school their parents were already invited to bridge clubs and bowling leagues.

It makes me a bit sad to admit that the last time I tried to welcome a new neighbor with a plate of cookies they acted as though I was planning to rob the place; I spotted the cookies in the dumpster the next day, still unwrapped. Nowadays, the occasional sudden stack of cast-off furniture in the parking lot is the only way we know someone has moved away; but then, we didn't notice when they'd moved in.

[JNelson6563]

4. Pretty friendly in my small city.

One of the things I love about Traverse City is people say hello, help with little things and sometimes big ones. I wish I had a dollar for every time I saw strangers help each other (like when a car gets stuck in snow, which we get a great deal of!).

I marvel that the area is so red yet up close and personal the people can be very kind and generous.

Julie

[fishwax]

5. I dunno -- I find that friendly small talk and/or a friendly nod gets a reaction in kind

Not always, of course, but generally speaking

[Populist_Prole]

9. I'm not a small talker at all, but I see what you mean

I think it's more a symptom of modern life with the working class feeling squeezed. Just seems like more are a bit uptight in general, regardless of the size of the town/city.